imakepoordecisions

23 ↬ She/Her ↬ Scorpio ♏︎↬ In Multiple Fandoms ↬ Obsessed With Fictional Men ↬✞“𝔞𝔪 𝔦 𝔡𝔬𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔬𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔦 𝔞𝔪?”✞

[queenbluewolf19]

am I the only one that SEES THIS !?!? ^

[threejiji]

ooowaaaa

[ashill23]

Darling~

[dulxelexhe]

what is he looking crazy for ????

also i might be hella sick bruh oouugghhhhhhhhhhhhh

[shyaz]

eddie posting in 2025 💔

[yaegeram]

Sliced and sewn on Gluskin's Table

[ashill23]

[valkyrieisdead]

ew slut

I kinda hate this rip

[shriika]

odd honeymoon

[dulxelexhe]

the very happy groom

[freckledpatchouli]

now that the weather's warming up i can finally have him on show ✨️

got this done back in November last year and had it hidden all winter... it looks much better in person my camera doesn't do it justice heh

[thefriendlypigeon]

🩷💙 N E O N N I G H T S 💙🩷

⭐[my social media links]

[caindepot]

call me crazy but when niall’s watching ruben assault benji his face speaks of more than just terror. there is a sense of awe, of reverence, which adds a whole other layer to his kneeling. no matter what happens or how much time passes, niall will always find himself worshipping at ruben’s altar, his most devoted disciple. divine union is the only possible outcome for them.

[bygollymissmollie]

There are so many parallels/connections between Mona and Niall coloring episode five. 

Among the most obvious is, of course, Mona referring to Ruben as “our boy” while reminiscing about Scottish Country Dancing in school with Niall. More than that, though, this scene shows how Niall shows himself empathizing with the oppression Mona faces under Ruben’s control (as seen in his refusal to let her have a life outside of him by teaching a dance class). As Joanna told us multiple times in episode three (“you told me you wish he’d move abroad so you could be free,” “you’ve got your freedom, Niall”) Niall has long felt suffocated by Ruben’s presence (something that is fair when you consider that Niall has, in fact, been physically suffocated by Ruben at least once in every episode). It seems pertinent that Niall’s way of subtlety encouraging/manipulating Mona to defy Ruben, in this instance, is by recalling her as “being so free” while dancing immediately after Ruben asserts his control over both of their lives: Mona, by refusing to let her dance, and Niall, by telling him to send a picture of his work.

At the end of the dance class, Mona, a housewife, expresses the fear that she’ll “get to 60 and realize I’ve spent my life in [Ruben's] pockets.” As we learned in episode 4, Niall spent the fourteen years that he and Ruben were apart in shambles, a fact he credits to no one but Ruben. Of course, Ruben is equally tormented by the thought of Niall, as we know from the hospital scene (“14 years, 7 months, 23 days”) and the entire show, in general. Add to this the fact that Niall has metaphorically been living in Ruben’s pockets with all the money he has borrowed from him for the last few years and you can, again, see that Niall and Mona are both “kept” by Ruben. 

Plenty of discussions are examining the sinister elements of Niall inviting Mona (who “always spills her guts when she drinks”) for a drink, but Joanna established the fact that Niall has always claimed that “the truth comes out when you're drunk” as well in episode 3. While they’re drinking, Niall is obviously being his manipulative self in the way he coaxes Mona to share more and more details about she and Ruben’s private life, but their similar alcoholic tolerance solidifies the idea that these characters, while it may not have been obvious when we were first introduced to Mona in episode one, are thematically similar/aligned as adults – as teenagers, as well, if we want to consider the fact that they had sex with each other under Ruben’s orders. 

Throughout episode 5, we see that Mona supports Niall's dream of being a writer (inquiring after his book in the garden as Ava and Ruben joke, “you’ve got more important work to do” while he’s vacuuming before offering him use of Ruben’s office) that Ruben dismisses (“they’ve given up on you”). Similarly, Niall supports Mona's dream (likely, for his own benefit) of teaching dance while Ruben dismisses it (“Self-empowerment . . . it’s pathetic. She should take all her power from me.”). I’d like to view this as something like the two of them recognizing themself in the other and thinking that if one of them achieves freedom by seeing their dream become a reality, it’s like they're free as well (an idea supported by Mona suggesting that Niall write a chapter about her dancing to make her feel like she’s there), but I really don’t feel comfortable doing more than pointing it out, at the moment, since I don’t know how it will develop going forward. 

Most pressingly, Niall and Mona seem to parallel each other in the way that they are both functionally “kept” by Ruben, though the way this is done varies. While describing why he is against Mona teaching dance classes, Ruben says: “The problem is she used to stay at home all day and wait for me. Now, I get back and she’s out there fucking throwing her body about.” When Niall says “if you’ve got it, flaunt it,” Ruben retorts that “she hasn’t fucking got it. We’re married. I’ve got it. It’s not hers to flaunt, it’s mine to keep.” 

I do not think it is necessary to delve into how/why, exactly, that quote speaks to Ruben’s subscription to the traditional idea that a family, specifically a wife, is a man’s property. It is obvious that, to Ruben, Mona, as his wife, is a possession and, according to these traditional ideas, possessions are to be protected by their owner and provided for by them. But it is also worth noting that Ruben explicitly lays claim to Niall’s life in this episode with “I’ve got you by the balls, Bambi,” not to mention his repeated commands for Niall to recite the “brother from another lover” schtick or when he called himself Niall’s “muse” in episode 4.  

Sitting at the candlelit dinner that Ruben abandoned after Mona suggested dance classes, Niall asks “Are you gonna defy him?” I believe this question is as illustrative of Ruben’s view of himself, as Niall and Mona’s view of Ruben. 

In his own eyes, Ruben is not primarily a husband to Mona or a brother to Niall. He is a patriarch, a title which encompasses both of these relationships and more. As patriarch, Ruben can comfortably rest knowing that his “place in the world” comes down to being “the provider.” So long as he provides, all life decisions made by Niall and Mona, who rely on his protection, are subject to his approval. In episode five, we watch Niall and Mona rock this boat by demanding autonomy/respect. In exchange for this, his “spoiled” wife is treated like a daughter rejecting the “best” life around while Niall, also under his ring of protection, is subject to the belittlement that befits a mooching son (see “when you get a life . . .”). In asking this question, and Mona entertaining it, Niall and Mona indirectly acknowledge how they are both under Ruben's thumb.

In summary, Ruben relies on the continual submission of Mona and Niall to feel secure in his role as patriarch. Episode 5 shows how the two people he consistently provides for (his two greatest possessions who are worth bankruptcy “and more”), Mona and Niall, go about resisting the oppressive nature of this role. Mona asserts her independence by having affair(s) and, now, teaching dance classes. Niall does it by consistently trying to one-up Ruben. We can joke that Mona and Niall are sister wives (it certainly makes sense; they're alike), but they also exist to feed Ruben’s need to be needed (which keeps his role, that establishes his power in his own and other's lives, secure).

[noelhope]

half man

[hereticaas]

it's the way that ruben's abuse towards everyone else is pure rage and violence, but with niall it is always the abuse of a father. punishing niall like he's a disobedient child: clean the house, mow the lawn, show me a picture when you're done so i know you've done it well. i pay for everything you have.

on top of the emasculation and on top of the way he resorts to sexual violence every single time. it's the way he calls him son as much as he calls him brother.

AND the worst part of it is that it's the making of that bond that creates the vehicle for the violence! ruben insists that niall is family (they both do) and so he's allowed to hurt niall in the way that he learned family is allowed to hurt each other. he does love niall, and so he has to love him in the same way that he learned to be loved.

[oldbutchdanielmolloy]

the yaoi proportions are insane.