blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed
blowjob? more like job blows! #employed
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JBB: An Artblog!
art blog(derogatory)

Kiana Khansmith
Cosimo Galluzzi
Three Goblin Art

izzy's playlists!
Jules of Nature

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

Origami Around
trying on a metaphor
Sade Olutola
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Cosmic Funnies

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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Show & Tell
DEAR READER
Claire Keane
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@queenofacess
blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed
blowjob? more like job blows! #employed
[dismp] what would you do with only one week to live?
just have fun with friends ^w^ well, i'd wish a specific person was there with me, but uhmmmm they're kinda gone now haha >_>"
my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush
The duality of "If you even imply that being aro or ace condemns someone to a sad and lonely life I will fucking fight you"
and
"being aro and ace is the most isolating thing I will ever experience"
i think the tags are important
This.
in the beginning, the trump assassination attempts were spaced by twenty four weeks. then twelve, then six, then every two weeks. the last one, at the white house, was a week. in four days we could be seeing a trump assassination attempt every eight hours until they are coming every four minutes. we should witness a double event within seven days,
When someone likes the thing you made for them
a good thread
happy pride
I've seen this clip many times, but never really appreciated the power of "what was her problem?" Just casually assuming that lesbians come in a wide variety of shapes and being inclusive. As a transbian who is probably still closer to Homer shaped than to my ideal, that's huge!
since becoming a barista i have noticed a few very distinct typologies among my customers. such as:
the woke left: young and fashionable. visible tattoos. often enjoys matcha, lavender flavoring, oat milk, and cold foam. pretty decent customers.
sweet old man: drinks very sweet iced lattes, pays in cash, puts all of his change in the tip jar. sometimes orders hot coffee and i get scared that his shaky old man hands will spill it and he'll get burned but that has not yet happened and god willing never shall.
evil old man: only wants drip coffee and declares it ridiculous that any other form of coffee exists. some variants only want americanos and these variants are even scarier. watch out.
sweet old woman: might need her daughter's help to order but is very bubbly and open to trying new things. compliments baristas freely and frequently.
evil old woman: does not want coffee and only wants sweet tea or soda. will not tip even if she spends three hours in the shop repeatedly asking baristas to fetch things for her.
errand husband: either stiltedly recites an order to you or shows you the order in their texts/notes app. needs to step out of line and make a phone call if you ask any follow-up questions.
grindset girlie: always wearing scrubs, an apron, and/or a name tag. orders the exact same thing every day and knows the exact change she'll need to pay for it. her regular order is both extremely caffeinated and extremely sweet.
#mamabear: is actively wrangling two to four children while ordering. order changes repeatedly because the children cannot decide if they want a muffin or a cookie or apple juice or chocolate milk etc. for some reason these women are always wearing an article of clothing or carrying some personalized item that says "mama" on it.
schoolchildren: band of two to eight adolescents hanging out after school. extremely indecisive but generally quite polite and tip well.
amnesiac in love: grown adult who needs their partner to tell them what they like. gets asked a question about their own preferences and turns to their partner to answer for them. generally acts like a shy child looking to their guardian for behavioral cues if you try to interact with them and only wants to talk to mommy i mean their wife.
this of course is not an exhaustive list but those are just some of the most consistent Types i get. ok bye xoxo
"We need more weird queers!" You can't handle actual queerness. The only queerness you can handle is heteronormative queerness of top and bottom same sex couples, strict binary trans people and Non-binary folks as a third gender. Don't even get me started how you can't handle anything above monogender, monosexual or monogamous. You can't handle arospec and acespec and any mixture of the two, especially aroallos. You can't handle intersex people just existing to be honest. Anything that challenges your shallow worldview of how things work is 'made up' or 'trying to win the oppression Olympics'.
You can't handle real queer people in the real queer world. If you said any of your shitty takes in real queer spaces nobody would trust you.
To you, being queer is just cishet+
I... DONT... LIKE... CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [MY TELEKINESIS THROWS EVERYTHING ACROSS THE ROOM] [I SEE MY ITEMS STREWN ABOUT THE ROOM AND GET EVEN MORE UPSET]
MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE
I made a new oc but I am missing a name so I am consulting the only expert I know that can give me what I want: baby name sites ran by white american moms.
Oh yeah baby here we fucking go
My grandma just called and, among other things, said “You have hips. That’s good! Men like hips!” and then she interrupted herself to say “Women like hips. People of your preferred gender like hips. I can never remember” And I was like “Thanks grandma! My preferred gender is none of them, no thanks.” and she was like “Okay, no one will comment on your hips!” very self satisfied, like “aha, I have figured it out” I think like half her grandkids are some variety of not-straight and she can’t always remember which is which but she is the epitome of like “she’s a little confused, but she’s got the spirit!”
Update: I gave it some thought and my estimate was wrong. Of the grandkids that are out, it’s 1/3, not ½
I told my grandma that I’d told my friends about what she said and that some of y’all had said you wished she was your grandma, and she said “Well, you can never have too many grandkids!” So like…consider her your honorary grandma* I guess? *if you want an honorary grandma, that is
Update on my grandma: I told her my hair was standing up, but instead of straight line it was diagonal and she said “That’s okay, you’ve never been straight!” and then laughed so hard at her own joke I thought she was going to drop the phone
Happy almost pride month! Have my confused-but-supportive grandma!
An update: my grandma just called me to ask if I knew it was pride month
Happy pride month!!
one genre of fanfiction that seems to have mostly disappeared since i became an adult is shenanigans-type fics. like not exactly crack but just "the gang goes to 7-11" type, extremely low-stakes plot stories. the beach episodes of fanfiction. i just feel like i don't see those around so much anymore. whered they go. i miss them :(
there’s this term i coined in my friendgroup i call “the charizard effect” and it can apply to anything and everything, but it was born from me explaining my feelings about the pokemon charizard. the term is basically about how overexposure to something be it by corporate shilling or fandom prominence drives me away from really enjoying something bc i’m exposed to it so much against my will i become tired of it. it came to me bc i was ranting about how tpci does not, and cannot stop reinventing charizard, and how it is popular and obtusely included in almost every region, merch, etc in every way possible and it’s highly commodified.
i dont dislike the pokemon charizard, in fact i really like its X form, but i am exposed to so much charizard in my pokemon consumption that i cant be bothered to care for it in any more than in passing. this applies to a bunch of other stuff i’d otherwise be ok with, but i always just call this aversion phenomena “the charizard effect”
making this term has done numbers for me being able to concisely express how i feel abt something. like. its not charizard’s fault i feel this way, im sure i’d feel normal abt it if it was stripped of all this over commodification, but i cannot. hence the name
one of my principles of social interaction is "dont be a dick to someone who's worst crime is being annoying and not understanding social cues" because i know firsthand how much that sucks. unfortunately this means that i'm not a dick to people who i just find kind of annoying when a lot of other people are and then they try to be friends with me (because im not a dick to them) (but i still dont really want to be friends)