Everyone gives the same advice: talk to someone. Tell them how you’re feeling. But no one ever tells you how to start that conversation with someone - and it’ll probably be one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever start. But it’s worth it.
For starters, it doesn’t matter how you choose to tell someone. In person is fine. Text is fine. Facebook messenger, email, Twitter DM, Facetime, Skype - they’re all fine. There’s no rules of social etiquette here. It doesn’t matter how you tell someone. It matters that you tell them.
Secondly, be direct. Saying the words “I am suicidal” is difficult, but they have to be said. Dropping hints won’t always get people to clue in. Most people don’t want to assume that their loved ones are suicidal, or people might be too shy to ask if you want to die. If you can’t bring yourself to say anything else, just say that - I am suicidal. Help me.
If you are struggling to find the words to tell your loved ones what is going on, here are some templates you can use to get started. Feel free to copy them exactly.
Hi. I really don’t want to freak you out, but I’ve got something important to tell you. I have been feeling suicidal lately, and I can’t handle this by myself. I need your help.
I just want to warn you, I have something really upsetting that I need to tell you, and I really need you to stay calm. I’ve been thinking about killing myself, and I don’t know what to do. I need you to help me.
I have a huge favor to ask you, but I have to warn you, it might upset you a little bit. I am suicidal, and I can’t work up the courage to tell my parents. Would you be able to talk to them for me?
You might have noticed that I’ve been acting different lately, and I need to tell you what’s going on. I am depressed, and it’s gotten so bad lately that I’ve been thinking about suicide. I know that I need to get help, but I don’t know how. You are the person I trust the most, and I really need your help here.
I know you’ve been worried about me lately, and there’s something I want to confess to you. I’ve been thinking about killing myself lately by [method of suicide]. I really need you to come over and take away [means of suicide].
I want you to know that I love you, and what I’m about to tell you is not your fault. I don’t want to live anymore, and I need some help right now to keep me safe.
You might not know this, but I’ve been struggling with depression, and to be honest, I’ve started thinking about suicide. I really need someone to talk to about it. You don’t have to give me advice, I just need someone to listen to me right now.
I’m sorry, but I think I’m in real danger of hurting myself. I am at [address] right now, and I need you to come over here, or phone 911 and tell them to come get me.
If you are feeling suicidal, you need to tell someone. There are people in your life who love you, and they probably don’t realize how much pain you’re in. You just have to tell them that you need help. You don’t even have to type the words - just copy and paste one of those passages to someone you trust, and hit ‘enter’. It’s that easy.
You deserve help.
You deserve to live.
Life gets better. It does. Give yourself a chance to see that.
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