This was shared as a "bad" joke but I was so charmed by it I've been thinking about it for days.
Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.
cherry valley forever
will byers stan first human second
noise dept.
d e v o n
DEAR READER

Andulka
we're not kids anymore.
occasionally subtle
taylor price
art blog(derogatory)
styofa doing anything

JBB: An Artblog!
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
$LAYYYTER
Xuebing Du

shark vs the universe
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

⁂

pixel skylines

Product Placement
seen from Bulgaria
seen from Brazil

seen from T1
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Austria
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia

seen from Brunei
@quessalda
This was shared as a "bad" joke but I was so charmed by it I've been thinking about it for days.
Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.
Small wonders for chignon by SAKAE
Roy Kaplan: Out of Sight is complete (and you should listen to it!)
Just a couple weeks ago, we aired the finale for Roy Kaplan: Out of Sight, which means it's time for a new promo post!
What is Roy Kaplan: Out of Sight?
Roy Kaplan is an original paranormal cyberpunk detective audio drama, inspired by hardboiled 30s-50s crime fiction and old time radio classics like Richard Diamond. It is a mystery-of-the-week format, featuring the titular Roy Kaplan--private investigator, ex-burglar, and psychic--putting his skills (and the occasional assist from his ghost roommate Wes) to the test to solve the strange cases that come across his desk. With the power to talk to ghosts and bypass any lock, Kaplan's dogged pursuit of the truth takes him head-to-head against murders, blackmail, missing persons, and anything in between.
Out of Sight is the first season of Roy Kaplan, consisting of twelve episodes, 30-40 minutes each. Every episode covers a new mystery, and you can generally listen to any episode without needing additional context (except for the finale)--though release order is preferred! It's a full cast audio drama, featuring the talents of thirty-five voice actors as well as an original soundtrack.
All twelve episodes are released now (totaling just under seven hours), so you can listen to the whole season at once if you want!
Why should I listen to Out of Sight?
Roy Kaplan: Out of Sight might be the audio drama for you if you like:
clever and tightly-written mystery stories, especially ones featuring paranormal and/or science fiction elements
detective noir but in a futuristic setting
urban fantasy but with an investigative focus
smart-ass detectives who antagonize murderers and cause problems on purpose
smart-ass detectives who get punched a lot
a variety of mysteries to solve (not just murders!)
a sarcastic ghost from 1940
post-apocalypse seasoning
If any of these appeal to you, consider checking the show out--you won't regret it!
But don't just take my word for it, check out the trailer:
Where can I listen to Roy Kaplan?
Roy Kaplan is hosted via Pinecast, so it's available on most common podcast platforms like Spotify (maybe not Apple Podcasts, though I did try) or with your podcast aggregator of choice using the RSS feed directly. You can also listen to it directly on my website (The Pinwheel Lab, which also has the full credits and transcripts) or on YouTube.
How can I support Roy Kaplan?
If you like Roy Kaplan: Out of Sight, consider showing your support! Share the show with your friends, or reach out to let us know what you thought of the series! Our ask box is always open :)
If you really like the show and you want more of it, then please consider supporting us financially so we can go on to produce season 2! There are season end goodies available on itch.io (links in reblog)--an annotated script book, an art book (and poster graphics for printing), and the full season audio download. You can also subscribe to our Patreon! All purchases will go to recouping production costs from Out of Sight and helps make future seasons possible.
If you've got an itch for mysteries and forty minutes to spare, then Roy Kaplan might be the fix for you, so give it a shot :)
Listen to Roy Kaplan:
Pinecast RSS feed: https://pinecast.com/feed/roy-kaplan
Pinecast app links: https://pnc.st/s/roy-kaplan
Roy Kaplan (episodes, transcripts, and writer's commentary) on The Pinwheel Lab: https://www.thepinwheellab.com/projects/roy-kaplan/
Roy Kaplan on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ThePinwheelLab
Roy Kaplan on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1hhaSg8BPqUyBWoIpXDGrU
Get in touch:
Our ask box! :)
The Pinwheel Lab on Discord: https://discord.gg/vtAfkyjVfs
Jessepinwheel (me!) on Tumblr: @jessepinwheel
Support production:
The Pinwheel Lab on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/jessepinwheel/
Season-end goodies on Patreon shop: https://www.patreon.com/jessepinwheel/shop
Season-end goodies on itch.io: https://jessepinwheel.itch.io/
Tip jar on Pinecast: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/roy-kaplan
Happy listening!
something i really enjoy when done right in horror and tragedy is when it refuses to let comedy be a relief. yes, it is absurd, it's absolutely ridiculous - and isn't that just fucking awful? you have to laugh, or you'll cry, you'll scream, you'll lose your mind completely. it isn't escapism, it's complicity.
honestly i just love a story that weaponises the act of being an audience to it. this spectacle is for YOUR entertainment! are you not entertained? what do we have to do to change that? how far does this need to go? what will it take to make you do more than just sit there, and watch, and laugh uncomfortably because nobody else is screaming "stop this!" and you don't want to be the first to challenge the status quo?
You have now reminded me of the videogame in which the final boss called me out on the cruelty of reloading whenever my character party died and tried to persuade me to stop playing the game. It might have worked (but my character party then gave me a pep talk)
Did you know that many gastropods can create a pearl, including terrestrial snails? The difference is nacre which is only found in some species of mollusks and which which gives pearls their beautiful shine. Terrestrial snails occasionally produce very small translucent white pearls which are usually lost. One non-nacre secreting sea snail, the melo melo, produces gorgeous pearls that are extremely prized and rare.
Conches can also produce pearls.
Paua (also called abalone) can make pearls as well- though they are only half-pearls (called mabel pearls)
Things animals love to make:
mucus
calcified secretions from mucus
Why is my mucus not this pretty
Konsi art by @quessalda last month.
Reasons why I don't normally paint people. It's hard!
Invoke Duplicity!
18. Mannequin I'll make you all a deal. If any of my drawtober posts gets 100 notes before the end of October, she can have the dress.
Alright, don't think I don't see the sneaky repeat-reblogs, but even without them we've passed 100 notes. She gets the dress. We need a little time to make alterations so it fits her, so it'll be up by the end of the month.
Yeah Konsi, I want that dress too
22. Tailor The tailor is Buttons, a character from @huffslove . Be warned, most of their art is NSFW. A note on heights, because I often struggle to squeeze height differences into my art properly: Razira's 6ft 4 inches, Konsi is 4ft tall exactly, which makes her a fair deal taller than most goblins.
I was having some real fishmonger hours in my studio yesterday! I wish I'd taken more photos of the rest of the fish, but the dang flatfish are total camera hogs!!
Added bonus: some scrawlings from my glaze notebook:
Tag yourself, I'm turb 3.
what kind of sorcery is this 💦💦
confusing Odysseus and Orpheus is like confusing a liar and a lyre. send post
Looking back, Nobody found this funny.
Lycanthropes in ascending order of unmanagability and CR:
Weredog (as werewolf but herds sheep instead of mauling them)
Werespider (huge and horrific but basically an ettercap at the end of the day)
Weregaroo (jacked. pugilistic. better pack your silvered brass knuckles or you don't stand a chance.)
Wereapotamous (run.)
Werewhale (you don't need adventurers, you need a convention of ordained clergy to discuss why a caring pantheon would allow this thing's existence)
Werebeholder.
Here me out:
Werewerewolf
Worst thing for a wizard: werebookworm
games that i think would be great, but no one will ever make:
lord of the ring ‘farming’ sims
like, the ring has been destroyed, peace has been achieved
sadly, the whole war has left ithilien, the shire, moria, minas morgul, the mirkwood, osgiliath, and tons of other places all across middle earth a dreadful mess
which is the perfect setting for having a random unimportant character go ‘fuck it, now that all the big warriors and heroes have done their job, i’m gonna do mine and plant some fucking flowers here’
and like. rebuild all of the things, and repair stuff, and plant flowers, and just. make all those places the story shows only in ruins be proper, real communities again
like: the player character’s parent is this great amazing warrior, and you just… never got into that, and now the whole war is over, and everyone is all ‘let’s celebrate our heroes’, and gets very… the whole thing fantasy does these days, where war against evil is the main focus, instead of actually living good lives?
and it’s like that scene in the beginning of a lot of farming sims, where the player character is sitting in an office and despairing, but instead it’s some sort of feast where everyone is bragging about how many orcs they killed or something, and also trying to recruit for the army, and it’s really terrible
and the player character just goes ‘nope, i do not want anything to do with this, i’m leaving, this was not what we fought for’
and gets, like, a shovel and a spade and a broom and maybe a pickaxe, and goes to find the nearest ruins left by the war, and starts tidying up
i understand that a lot of the tone of the books stems from some sort of magic is leaving, and the world is moving onwards, and that is just fate, because it’s now the age of the humans, and you know what?
fuck this. that just sounds ridiculous and some weird missing the good old days bullshit. of course it’ll never be the same, but that doesn’t mean it’ll never be good again, if we’re all working towards it together
You are a hobbit. Your name is Junior. it’s the anniversary of your dad’s return from the big hike he went on, the time when all the Big Folk come out to have a party, when your Uncle Frodo’s face looks even more like glass than usual. Sometimes he’s cheered up when the littles ask him for stories, and he tells them of places he’s seen, ruins and vast empty plains where only, occasionally, kingsfoil grows.
“Well why’s that then?” you ask.
“I beg your pardon?” says Uncle Frodo.
“Why hasn’t anyone gone to perk it up a bit?” you say. You’ve been learning a bit from Dad, who can make anything grow. “Why didn’t Dad, when you were passing through?”
“We were on a bit of a schedule,” says Uncle Frodo, and you’re not quite sure what the expression on his face is, but at least it’s there.
“All right, then why didn’t you stop when you were coming back?” you demand. “You had plenty of time then. You didn’t know what was going on in the Shire, and you could have at least - at least -” Your mind is too full of all the things it takes to get a good garden growing. “I thought you said Uncle Merry and Uncle Pippin wanted to help Fangorn find his treewife, I thought they said they were going to do something.”
“You know,” says Uncle Frodo, and now there is definitely a bit of a smile in the corner of his mouth, “You make a good point. Someone really ought to go and follow through on those promises.”
The next morning, there’s a pony and cart waiting for you in front of Bag End. You think that’s a little excessive, until you see the cart is half full of tools and half full of seeds, and you know none of that was Uncle Frodo’s gift.
“Be careful out there,” says Dad, giving you a hug. “Your uncle left you his old sword under the driver’s seat, but…”
“A good whack with a shovel will do for most things,” you finish. “I know, Dad.”
And you pick up the reins and drive east.
I would play the HELL out of a LOTR based game in which you are (player name) Gamgee, setting out to replant the world one flower or fruit tree at a time.
I would also love this game. And LOTR is the perfect setting for it given the number of characters who go do exactly this at the end of the book. Just off the top of my head, Faramir and Eowyn go off to Ithilien and make a garden (I think it is more of a side project for them), Samwise (obviously), Legolas and Gimli spend some time sprucing up Minas Tirith.
And even though the elves are leaving, there are still a bunch of plant related metaphors for the men as well - there's that special tree Aragorn has to go find.
Also, if you have not read Garden in Dol Guldur by esama, it basically has Bilbo doing exactly this after the events of the Hobbit.
Decided on this being a central market and plaza area where the mice can relax and shop. Still way too much stuff too do!
Viv waited, soaking in the hum of the shuttle’s electronics and the steady vibrations of its engine. The commander, sitting opposite them, also seemed to be enjoying the silence and was spending the journey in a comfortable doze.
Occasionally, Viv would glance over to the viewscreen, where the ship ahead of them grew ever closer.
It was a beauty of a vessel - all angles and chrome, lit up by the white brilliance of its Grace Drive.
As the shuttle changed course to begin the docking approach, Viv finally broke the silence:
“So … why me?”
“You’re a pilot aren’t you?” The commander replied, dryly, without opening her eyes. “You applied for combat service.”
“And I was denied. Three times.”
“Really. And why was that?”
“Someone didn’t like my psych profile.”
This made the commander crack an eye.
“Unstable?” A glint lit up in her sleep-dulled eye. “Damaged?”
“Too sensitive.” Viv smiled
“Ah, that explains it, then.” She closed her eye again. Crossed her arms.
“Explains what?”
“This ship has refused to take a pilot so far. Three times, in fact.”
Viv furrowed their brow.
“Is it … difficult to handle?”
“Worse.” The commander yawned. “It’s shy.”
“...they can be shy?”
“That’s the thing with hostborn vessels. They come in all different kinds. The spark isn’t always a grizzled warrior, veteran of the rebellion, or an awe-inspiring herald.” She chuckled. “Sometimes it’s just a member of the heavenly chorus who’s not used to being in the solo spot.”
“But why would an, uh, *entity* like that sign up for Abyss service?”
The commander opened both eyes.
“We were hoping you might be able to tell us.”
- - -
The commander had stayed on the shuttle, instructing Viv to head to the cockpit to introduce themself to the ship.
The cramped hallways were dark. After a few moments a panel down the way lit up with the distant whiter-than-white glow of halo light. Viv walked towards it and another flickered into life beyond.
They followed the path of light, winding into the depths of the ship towards the control centre.
Viv emerged onto the bridge to find one last panel lit up in the centre. There, the captain’s chair hung suspended in a column of heavenly illumination.
“Thanks for the directions.” Viv said to the empty ship.
They took a deep breath and sat down in the chair. The light was cool on their skin.
With a hiss, a mechanism at the top of the chair released and the communion circlet lowered slowly down towards Viv. It hovered an inch away from the crown of their head, waiting.
“Here goes … something.”
Viv placed the circled on their head. Immediately, they felt a thousand thousand nerves of data fire up around them. Viv’s skin was a mile-long sheet of metal, alive with sensors that drank in the void. And something in their heart burned with the starfire of creation.
“This is very invasive.” The voice was in Viv’s head, but it wasn’t Viv’s. It was feather-light, a graceful cursive written in sparks.
“Yeah. Sorry about that.” Viv said out loud, wincing slightly at how clumsy the vibrations sounded in comparison. “You’re not normally *inside someone* for your first meeting.”
“Was that … was that innuendo?”
The voice sounded startled. It also sounded like the idea of a song that a composer dreamed about but could never recreate. The mixture created a weird vibe, to be honest..
“Not intentional! Sorry - I fully didn’t realise what that would sound like until I said it.”
“Well, at least you apologised…” The voice paused and Viv marvelled at how they could feel the ellipsis draw itself electric across their synapses. Dot. Dot. Dot. “...so, have you come to give me the pitch?”
Viv thought about this for a moment.
“No pitch.” They said. “I think I’d just like to get to know you.”
The ship paused too.
“Okay, but what if I *don’t* want that?”
“Then we’re in an awkward situation.” Another pause. “I’m Viv, if that helps at all. Do you have a name?”
“Hi Viv.”
The next pause was longer. Viv could feel the tension, the anxiety wound so tight at least three different system checks started giving yellow warning lights.
Finally, Viv felt a vessel-wide system reset and it was like the ship had given the biggest sigh.
Then it spoke again.
“Okay, Viv. Why do *you* want to be my pilot? I have to warn you, I’m not very fierce. Or much fun, if I’m honest.”
“I think I want what anyone wants when they volunteer for the Abyss sector. To be a light in the dark.” Viv’s face lit up in a half grin and they felt the ship’s viewscreen flicker to match them. “Or, I guess, a ‘flight’ in the dark, if you think about it.”
“Hmmm. The other pilots they sent didn’t make puns.”
“Is that a positive or a negative?”
“Okay,” Said the ship. “I have a name, but it’s embarrassing.”
“I don’t think it’ll be-”
“It will be embarrassing.” Interjected the ship. “But that’s okay. Literally everything is.”
And then The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Flown told the pilot its name.
Royal Encounter