let me die a hero

Trick, or Alyssa. Whichever you prefer. 19. (formerly trick-of-life, and ifitcanbebroken) I am a multi-fandom blog, but I post a lot of different stuff that doesn't matter. Mostly it's just Once Upon a Time, though.

[snazziest]

They call me coffee cuz I grind so fine

[thatpunnyguy-deactivated2016051]

They call me coffee I keep you up past 2 am

[xjustcallmethedoctorx]

They call me coffee because I’m really bitter and most people don’t like me without changing some aspect of what I am

[stock98765]

whenever a site tells me i need to be 18 or older to enter i always go all like “lol yeah sure i’m 18 right yeah” and it takes me a second before i realize oh wait i actually am over 18

[pettyrevenge]

A couple of years ago I was in the gym and I overheard this guy (we’ll call him “LT” for Lying Tool) “warning” a girl. He said something to the effect of:

“Hey, sorry to bother you. But I just overheard that guy in the red shirt (pointing at my friend who was across the gym) saying some extremely crass stuff about you in the locker room. It was really sexual and graphic, basically talking about ripping off your purple spandex and violating you in front of everyone. I couldn’t just listen and not tell you because you deserve to know what certain people are really like.”

Listing to this I was furious. This guy had obviously seen my friend and the girl talking in the gym (she approached him) and gotten jealous because he wanted to get with her. So he made up this lie to throw him under the bus. I know it was a lie because 1) I was just in the locker room and nothing of the sort was said and 2) the dude he was lying about was actually a really nice, respectful guy.

So he finished up his tall tale and before the girl could respond I scoffed really loud and said:

“She knows you’re lying just to try to get in her pants. That guy would never say those kinds of things about her because she’s his sister, you moron.”

The look on LT’s face was priceless. He went pale and stammered something about how he must have gotten the guy mixed up. But the girl (who had caught on and was playing along) pointed out how he had been very clear about pointing her “brother” out. So LT shifted his story again and said he must have gotten the girl he was talking about mixed up. So I pointed out that she was the only girl wearing purple spandex.

He actually looked like he was about to cry, and I never saw him in the gym again after that.

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via jwoodham)

[tastefullyoffensive]

“Everybody eats.” 🔊

[osha-whaatt]

such a pure video

[tyleroakley]

i love this

[annabellehectorsworldofweird]

an abusive woman is not empowering

an abusive woman is not empowering

an abusive woman is not empowering

an

abusive

woman

is

not

empowering

[quiteffancyyou]

DICKS OUT FOR HARAMBE.

[ofools]

not gonna say it again!!!!

a BOG is a wetland that is acidic

a FEN is a wetland that is alkaline

[momunofu-deactivated20150808]

when you accidentally type “me” instead of “my”

[quiteffancyyou]

North Korea declared war on the USA.

[asoiafedit]

Promise me, Ned, his sister had whispered from her bed of blood.

[micdotcom]

[onceuponamirror]

what a world that I agree with mitt romney

[keybladesoras]

Colin and Jennifer + Comic Con Highlights.

[myrosecolouredgirl]

“albus you’re still head of the high court”

“ok but minerva why not have the thirteen-year-olds go back in time and steal a hippogriff and make this man a fugitive for the rest of his life”

“albus it would be easier for literally everyone if you just were like ‘hey let’s have a trial’”

“it wouldn’t be easier for me so we’re going with this instead”

[harryedward]

Me: Hillary Duff’s new songs are okay I guess. I expected more Some random tumblr user: So you want Trump to win?? Hilary is the lesser of two evils. Her and Bernie Sanders have voted for some of the same things. Bernie even endorses her. Do you really want Donald Trump as our next president?

[feiyueparkourkungfu-blog]

Become A Kung Fu Master, Together!!

Kung Fu Masters like Feiyue Shoes on http://www.icnbuys.com/feiyue-shoes.

follow back