Red Says

I go by 'B'. My roommate Red says the craziest things

[r-e-d-says]

June 1, 2017

"Use your signal! You have them. It's your arm!"

[r-e-d-says]

04/12/2017

“I look forward to being that kind of real family where i have a favourite child. Like: ‘These are my three children, I love them all equally. But THAT ONE is mine.’ 'What about the others?’ 'Well that one is my husbands.’ ’…What about the third?’ 'God loves that child.’”

[r-e-d-says]

Apr. 02/2017

"I'm really more of a mermaid than a Marine."

[r-e-d-says]

Feb 19/2017

"Oh don't be scared honey! It was just a fucked up goose."

[r-e-d-says]

Nov. 13/2016

"No. He only has a boner for justice!"

[r-e-d-says]

Nov 7/2016

"Uh oh. You about to get a werewolf to the face..."

[r-e-d-says]

Nov 4/2016

"I will not be letting moks be a-run in my kiosk this christmas! Not today!"

[r-e-d-says]

Nov. 2/2016

“I definitely don’t wanna work at a crepe place. What is that? Zwoop! Zwoooop! *makes crepe smoothing motion* It’s like a Zen garden, but food. Like fuck that!”

[r-e-d-says]

Oct 18/2016

“Piss or get off the pot! Genocide is happening!”

[r-e-d-says]

Feb. 22/2016

"EAT SHIT B!"

[r-e-d-says]

Jan. 31/2016

I'm not fucking him for his avacados guys!!

[r-e-d-says]

Jan. 25/2016

Hairdresser - "I like this, it's like a reverse ombre!" R - "I wanted a bit of red in dark brown, what the SHIT are you doing back there!?!"

[r-e-d-says]

Jan. 22/2016

R - "Why can't we just put all men on an island?" B - "Just choose the ones we want." R - "The claaaww..."

[r-e-d-says]

Jan. 20/2016

"That moment, when you call God 'fam'..."

[r-e-d-says]

Jan. 18/2016

“Ya know, if things had gone differently, and I hadn’t been born in ‘96, I feel like Vince Vaughn coulda been my soulmate…”

[r-e-d-says]

Jan. 17/2016 - 2

I - "I'm allergies and a heart of gold!" R - "Now that's what you put on tindr"

[r-e-d-says]

Jan. 16/2016

"This is going to get more gay before it gets less gay"