Bad vibes Only

💔🩸This is the vent and mental health related account for @r0seart🩸💔 23 years old|she/they| depression, PTSD, Autism, social anxiety, and possibly BPD and plural Be warned that this account deals with dark subject matter and is not suitable for younger viewers

[r0sevent]

I’ve often mentioned that I hate venting on main as seeing those posts always makes me sad.

So here’s the sadness dumping ground along with talking about my experiences with mental health. Please respect my boundaries, please don’t trauma dump to me, and please don’t target harass or demean me based on my mental health struggles or odd coping mechanisms.

Thank you

[pientones]

To whoever finds my dead body, I hope it'll haunt you forever.

[sillyexplosionz]

normalise sending YOURSELF death threats ❤︎︎

[vrtualcvts]

I genuinely feel like such a horrible girlfriend. Like why am I such a bitch? I'm so disgusting and mentally unstable. I'm a fucking addict to all the wrong things. Fuck.

[r0sevent]

I should kill myself

I should’ve died a long time ago

I should’ve known nobody loved me

I should’ve learned to cvt ages ago

I should’ve killed myself before I even left high school

Only whatever damned afterlife wants me now

And I might as well just go to it because it’s the only place anyone will ever want me

[ellisillus]

anybody else uhhh. anybody else. anyone else uhhhhh

[frontmansdog]

mentally taking a drag of my mental cigarette because I don’t smoke but life has been very smokable lately

[r0seart]

It’s sad to hear what’s happening, I reblog posts so people can notice the artist, not me, if I wanted people to notice me I post my art, and that’s why I like it when people reblog my art. But now this a selfish attention grab situation. I know I should’ve stopped believing in this hellfire but it’s the platform I navigate best and post on more frequently, no one notices my work on bluesky, no one cares about my work on insta.

This is the only time I have found people genuinely engaging with my art, commenting on it, gushing over it. Reminder if you see anyone I reblog from, especially other artists, please go and like the original post if you can (some of the art is made from deactivated accounts so I know that isn’t always plausible). If you see my work being reblogged by someone make sure to check me out too.

@staff I’m very disappointed, this hurts artists

[r0sevent]

Sometimes you just find older famous men really attractive

And you might just have to kill yourself over it

[daftpatience]

[one must imagine sisyphus] good morning, I put it all together 🧼

wanted to talk about it some because i have thoughts:

the sink in a disabled household is a constant source of stress and yuckiness and i wanted to make some sinkdog fanart with that bit of pain in it. we don't usually see her all gross and dirty and miserable.

someone on tumblr talked about how sinkdog is kinda cathartic because you scoop all the yucky parts out of the girl to make her into an object of cleanliness (and how it's ironic because she's kink art) and it had me thinking about how sinks are also yucky. feeling like even if you scrape yourself hollow, girlhood can still feel dirty. inescapable. plus the torment that you'll never be really done doing dishes because more dirty dishes appear daily.

ooh i'm really glad this could resonate with you. i wish all the alters with single roles to not feel too trapped or worn out by them. virtual hugs.

she's very much tethered there :( it's about how there's disabled and chronically ill people that, even WITH all the cleaning tips and tricks and aids and lifehacks in the world, will still have dirty sinks. how we've got to overcome that guilt about it. there will always be more dirty dishes. we will always be fatigued. it's frustrating, really frustrating. sometimes it is not a safe amount of clutter and we do need to ask for help. but even at our best we will not have a pristine house, and this is okay. our poor sinkdog is in the middle of the frustration but she will be okay too. even if she isn't clean.

you are the realest person on this planet and i love you

im holding these tags close to my heart waa

[daftpatience]

everyone wished really hard and manifested a friend for sinkdog

[thememedaddy]

[r0sevent]

Ok wtf

An image I’m very proud of, and the first thing I get is bot commission scams….

[exclipsensfw]

[sir-wes]

im no expert but this is how it works to me i think

[r0sevent]

Idk what to do abt my system. I wanted to get a diagnosis but my therapist told me I don’t really need one. Tried telling her that if I didn’t get any dissociative disorder diagnosis that I wouldn’t be able to defend myself from those who’d fake claim me.

She then asked me that since I am a diagnosed autistic, why was my option on someone self diagnosing with autism because they noticed similar symptoms, I responded “well they most likely have autism, sure there’s a chance it could be another neurodivergent condition with similar symptoms but if they believe it’s autism I’m not really gonna invalidate that”

And apparently she told me that that’s how I should start feeling about my own system.

So I think I might start talking about my plurality and accept the risk that is being a multi origin system in a community that doesn’t want me to exists

[r0sevent]

I’m going to throw something….

Ah yes, my dad nearly disowned me for wanting to try edibles but now he’s just smoking in his room. What the fuck, what did I do wrong, fuck it, if I had the money I’ll spitefully try my first bong hit

[wolfertinger666]

plurality is interesting because I've basically felt like I've had different "personalities" as a child raised under an abusive home, those personalities mirrored after TV shows I watched, thus creating "fictional friends" in my head to cope with what was happening.

as my mental health started getting worse during my teenage years, I questioned if I was plural but was turned away by someone when they told me I needed childhood trauma. uh. I did. I was suppressing it (I'm not gonna get into the plural logistics idc I'm telling my experience)

that's when my questioning got the better of me as I genuinely started to lose control over myself and develop different "personas" to help me cope, which were in fact my alters. it's something you don't notice until it gets worse

[wolfertinger666]

I think the whole obsessive paranoia with fake claiming people has made it harder for new systems to come out about Their experiences. I think I put myself out there to give them encouragement. this disorder has helped me cope as much as it has stressed me out to a UNNATURAL degree. it's a balance that goes back and forth in extremities, but every system is different.

[wolfertinger666]

I've had people fake claim me who aren't even plural or because my experiences don't line up with theirs and I find that behavior pathetic considering many systems and people are different and process stress and trauma differently.

but I also managed to help some blooming systems realize what's up and that they aren't weird for this. if you are questioning, I hope you eventually find peace with your system

[r0sevent]

I have been afraid to talk about my own system from these paranoias, I actually share similar experiences. What I often call “the consequences of masking”, my first system happened when I was in middle school, I too stamped it out when my mom implied I needed to black out in order for it to be alters.

It wasn’t until I gained trauma induced agoraphobia, and meeting unconventional plurality folk did I realize that I was totally capable of having a system despite not having lived unspeakable horrors or blacking out. Honestly due to how introject heavy my system is I have been against being open about it publicly, also that I haven’t gotten diagnosed, my therapist believes it is some form of plurality though.

I should be more open about my alters, even the ones I’d get easily fake claimed for (two boys named Ego and Danny).