Red, Red I need a full checlist of your lore accurate Eldar biology for porn reasons. Please Red, I seek enlightment and the Warhammer fandom is so fucking vast. I require a guide.
Oh man that needs more than one post, actually probably several because first of all it's my favourite subject, second, nothing makes sense.
The most commonly referred thing you'll find when it comes to Eldar anatomy is the Xenology books. I've put the images here, and I'll explain the problems with it later.
Hope the quality is readable
In game this was written by a Magos Biologis who may or may not have lost his marbles so you're pretty free to contradict.
Now, usually, when you think about the Eldar anything, it's "fantasy elves in space". Meaning humans with some specifics and pointy ears, in space. Then oddities were added and built on. Some of the oddities were written by people who have no idea how bodies or even basic chemistry works, and we have to handwave it away with "because space magic and shit". For example, supposedly Eldar have five-strand DNA. If they are built with the same atoms I can assure you, there's a specific strength between ATGC bonds that only works in a specific way but we have to just ignore that and roll with it. One of the conclusions from that factoid is that try as you may, you can't have a half-eldar by putting the peepee in the mon-keigh (or the reverse). You're more likely to have children by fucking a banana, if you get my drift.
In lore, stuff gets explained because Eldar are a designer species created by "the Old Ones" to fight against the threat of the Necrons. So the reason for them being so symmetrical and perfect is that they're not the product of natural evolution.
Note: There was a half-eldar space marine librarian at some point, but that was very early GW, back when 40k was more a port of Fantasy in space and less its own thing.
Anyhow, you asked smut-related, so here are a few things.
The whole "teeth that are jawbone" makes no sense especially considering that bones are supposed to be more flexible like three sentences down in the same book. How are they going to chew with their flexible teeth? We also have examples of Drukhari removing them and replacing them with razors or other pointy things (Turn of the Adder). That's one thing I completely disregard.
Aside from that, we have mentions of saliva, they spit, they have tongues, they have lips (though usually quite thin).
The "no bodyfat" and them being very scrawny and full of corded muscle seems to hold up pretty much throughout what I've read. Their kids are liveborn, all the women models have boobs and we have no other explanation such as "these are inflated sacks of air", it's safe to conclude the females have tits and feed their young. They know what milk is and "milk-blooded" is an insult Drukharis throw at others. Since they don't have bodyfat, the boobs are probably way smaller and glandular, so not the same feel as a human boob.
They have cartilage plates under the skin and muscle there, so they're not soft. Sometimes I imagine them going like a xylophone when missionary but that's just me.
Back on my bodyfat thing. Aeldari are more androgynous and males and females are sometimes confused. They also don't give many shits about gender roles bar some cultural exceptions (a Succubus is always female but nothing a haemonculi can't fix) If someone knows if Incubi can be female and has an example please shoot btw bc they are the dark variant of Striking Scorpions and that's a purely male aspect.
So basically they're not going to have a big dumptruck. The females might have slightly larger hips to get the head of a baby through but not need to be as different as ours, and still keeping it androgynous enough. If you like body horror, with their bones being able to bend out of shape, let's just say Eldar moms probably don't have a great time. Births being painful, with screaming and blood is mentioned in one resource I know off (Da Big Dakka).
If the key looks similar enough (outwardly) the lock probably is too. Given that the kids are born live (Eldar don't lay eggs) it probably connects to a muscle or gestational sac or whatever else then pushes a baby out when the time is right. Gamete delivery is mentioned so assume that the whole process is similar too. Elves in space.
We can only guess at what "gamete delivery appears progressive" means. My - personal - HC is that there's more than one organ in the balls (balls are covered under "outwardly similar") and around or inside the lower cavity. I have a rather lengthy view on how reproduction works but that's a post on its own. In any case it seems more or less established lore that they don't really care about occasional couplings (Path of the Eldar) but they do watch mariages and the process of having children more closely. Kinda parallels the "stages" thing, as long as you stay in "first stage", you're good.
I'm mentioning it here because I was thinking of pubic hair in particular. It's not in xenology and I don't know where and how I read it, if it's canon or fanon or both and I need to dig, but in line with the elves-in-space: they don't have body hair. One thing is consistent everywhere: they never have beards or mustaches. But if someone has a source that states they do have pubes or armpit hair, please shoot.
50/50 - some sources describe them sweating, others say they don't. They could lose heat through convection, or with those temperature nodes or something like that. They do generate their own heat, otherwise they wouldn't feel cold and they'd go to sleep when they're on an ice planet. I also have bits of books where they wake up covered in sweat (Valedor).
No digestion and no peristalsis but a mouth? Yeah, no. The beings on earth that have this are very far removed from us evolutionarily, and either poop with their mouth or just store their waste until it kills them (the Demodex does that). All processes create waste, either energy or "waste atoms" - if you did a fraction of organic chemistry that's clear. Eldar are not made from different atoms, so they're subject to the same laws of physics and chemistry, so eventually, even if they're hyper-efficient, there's some form of waste that needs to go. Does this have to go out of the digestive tract? I mean, you can HC that they excrete through their lungs but for a species that looks so close to humans and then not have a mechanism for waste? Especially if you pick the "no sweat" HC?
There's another chunk of canon that they poop crystals. I don't know where that comes from but it's nearly bedtime and I don't have time to look it up. Needless to say outside of jokes nobody rocks with that (huhuhuhu).
On the other hand we have examples where Eldar prisoners have been left with "a bucket for their waste" - it was not an Eldar novel but a Carcharodons one so the author might not have been very familiar. Also, you know, I'm kinda starting to feel weird typing so much about Eldar poop and buttholes. Just HC whatever you want. But whatever happens, they must have a mechanism for waste and I much prefer an asshole to breathing poop fumes or dying full of poop.
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