[virgoprivilege]

my predictions for the met gala tonight are that timothee chalamet will fall down the steps like jason derulo and shatter into a hundred pieces like the hollow haunted china doll he is and unleash plague and misfortune the likes of which the world has never seen

[ampervadasz]

[drdaanvondutch]

[skzloona]

Idk who needs to hear this but bisexuality includes trans people. Not "it can" include trans people or it "sometimes" includes trans people. It does. It always has. Any bisexual who says there's doesn't is just a transphobe and doesn't fucking represent what we're about.

[heavymodelheavymodel]

[partytimehexcellent-blog]

[thecryptkeeper]

masterpost of neo from the matrix pride to go with my lesbian one (x)

[anxietyproblem]

[alisonzai]

bee real, my senior thesis

[geniusoflove]

god. god. im glad i have the gay gene so i can listen to abba and lose my fucking MIND. its so sad straight people cant appreciate abba like we do

[geniusoflove]

me listening to voulez vous 

[azonus]

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: it’s grossly unethical to pay your employees so little that they could work for you full time and still not have enough money to live on.  If you can’t pay your employees a living wage, you’re failing as a business.  If you can and you won’t, you’re failing as a person.

[sasukepositive-deactivated20191]

every shonen character: i’m 11 and i dont care if i die

[ursquirmingbeeschurger]

I mean have you ever met an 11 year old

[obligatory-name-change]

11 year olds have the self preservation of someone who has met god and wasn’t impressed

[collectorsweekly]

Custom platform boots made by Rainbow Cobbler in San Francisco, circa 1970.

[skarchomp]

me when i see a dog: pubby!

me when i see a service dog: MISTER pubby…

[whitepeopletwitter]

[figmentera]

‘you’re back early’ is the most hilarious phrase to me in this context. like, you’re back early. from the moon. which takes days to get back from, and also definitely the assistance of this nasa employee. but somehow we managed it and just decided to drop by nasa for you to make this casual remark. yep. a logical setup to any joke. 

its comedy gold, just in that first line

[mjalti]

some “doctor” peoples who went to “medical school” and “understand the functionings of the human body”: Diet Coke isn’t good for you bc the chemicals destroy ur body

me: 🙄 okie dokie … quack…

user truewarrirorslight on page 48 of a forum I’m reading at 2:45 am: Diet Coke can interfere with how you develop ur psychic powers bc of the chemicals in it

me: yoooooo Diet Coke is Not Healthy!!!

[shanexrayn]

Me, thinking about high school:

[my-darling-boy]

18th century famous people be like: George was born the oldest of 36 children. His father was a shoe farmer and Grand Piano. At just 2 days old, he began his study of medicine and human biology at Oxford fortunately studying under Shakespeare in Berlin, Austria. Shortly after, he conducted his first successful heart transplant at 1.3 years old. He soon became an ordained priest. By the age of 4, he had married his cousin and had 5 children named Emma, all of whom became minstrels except for one who actually turned out to be Charles Dickens. By the end of his career at 28 years old he had written 11,000 books about Julius Caesar which he made into comedic plays and became a world class harmonica, guitar, and spoon player. He died of tripping on his own foot or lead poisoning at 30