voted most likely to make questionable decisions

shayn•🐺•nerd•writer•dreamer

[racerchix21]

Official AU Masterlist

*Unless otherwise specified all ideas are things from @bidisasterevankinard I’m just taking the ideas and running away with them 👀

From Rink to Rim: Our Story

Love’s Been Shifted Now We’re Healing

SalEddie Community

SalTommy Community

The Black Keys (SalTommy)

[underwateranimal]

idk if y'all are familiar with the concept of a renaissance faire that has a beer stand where you can pay to get publicly dommed by the bar wench. but.

(1.5k words)

shane has no idea why they're even fucking here. some bullshit about turkey legs and sexy women's jousting, maybe.

he trails reluctantly behind his college teammates as they trudge down the dirt path, narrowly avoiding bumping into dozens of renfaire goers in various stages of costume undress and drunkenness. this is not a jock environment. shane is dressed in plain clothes, and has no clue how to react to all the vendors putting on vaguely medieval european accents. he is overall entirely out of his element.

they approach the bar, which is more like a cozy beer booth decorated with fake vines and nautical chains. hayden and jj jump in line. this is good. maybe if he gets a beer in him, this whole experience will suck a little less.

jj nudges him in the ribs hard and directs his attention to the guy dressed like a pirate buying a beer at the front of the line. the woman behind the bar, in a blouse and corset that greatly accentuates her chest, coos something vaguely encouraging at the guy and guides his hands upwards to grip the looped metal chains hanging from the ceiling of the booth.

with the guy's hands held above his head, shane watches incredulously as she holds his face gently by the chin and proceeds to pour the beer directly into his open mouth. a couple cheers from the group surrounding him seem to indicate that this is normal? she praises him in that silly fake renfaire accent, gradually guiding the cup upwards until the guy has finished the beer. he releases his hands from the chains and steps back, flushed and laughing with the woman and his friends.

shane feels vaguely dizzy at the display. his eyes dart nonsensically to the menu, which lists the prices for beer and a few non-alcoholic drinks. at the bottom of the menu it lists the raised price of the "bar wench/bar rake special." shane blinks hard.

the line moves. "that's fucking hilarious," hayden says, and shane nods absently and tries to ignore the stirring in his gut. he doesn't see jj and hayden exchange a mischievous look over his head.

too soon, they're at the front of the line. shane turns to see if his teammates want to order together or separately, but he's shoved up against the front of the bar before he can get a word in.

"he'll take the bar rake!" jj jeers, slapping the bills down on the counter. hayden shakes shane's shoulders from behind as if hyping him up. the wench barely bats an eye at the obnoxious display of mild bullying. she takes one look at shane's tomato red face and gives him an endeared pet on the head.

"one bar rake, coming right up!"

shane doesn't get the opportunity to question what a 'rake' even means in this context, because suddenly there's a man in front of him. a man shane hadn't noticed when he'd been doing something behind the bar with his back turned, but was absolutely noticing now.

tall, scorching hot, moles dotting his handsome face and dirty blond hair curling behind his ears. a muscular physique visible through a semi-sheer white chemise. stunning pale eyes narrowed like a predator assessing his prey. the rake smirks at him a little viciously and shane can't even muster up a stuttered refusal.

the rake leans over and grabs shane by the wrists, pulling his arms up over his head until his fingertips reach the chains. his touches are rougher than the wench's had looked. shane fumbles until he's gripping them tightly in his sweaty hands. he feels uniquely vulnerable, at this man's mercy. shane has a sinking feeling he's not going to get any.

he's distantly aware that hayden and jj might be catcalling this display right now. he prays they aren't filming this. the wench passes the rake a tall plastic cup of ale. shane watches with wide eyed baited breath as the rake takes a moment to seemingly stare directly into shane's soul. assessing him like a bug under a microscope. fuck. he might be getting hard.

the rake switches the cup to his left hand, and his presumably dominant right hand wraps around shane's throat. not tight enough to restrict his breathing, but a solid grip that makes shane freeze like a statue. the man leans in, murmuring closer to shane's ear.

"open."

fuck. shane is definitely getting hard. his jaw drops with zero hesitation. he barely manages to keep his tongue in his mouth with the way he wants to pant. this is insane. they're in public.

"good boy."

he can pick out the accent as a genuine one, likely slavic. undeniably sultry. shane squeaks, or whines, or makes some other humiliating noise that's a little too loud while he's open mouthed. the rake grins and hums like he's very pleased. the rim of the cup is pressed to shane's pouty bottom lip, and then the cup gets tilted and shane's mouth is flooded with ale he has no choice but to swallow.

it's a heavy pour, shane notices. the cup is filled to the brim and probably counts for two beers. it's a fairly light ale, though, and goes down without too much difficulty.

the stream of liquid isn't steady. the rake, perhaps purposefully, switches between pouring at a thin trickle and flooding shane's throat with a long splash of the drink. keeping him on his toes and prolonging the suspense. shane gasps desperately whenever he is afforded a moment to inhale. he imagines drowning under that hand.

shane is completely hard and dripping into his boxer briefs.

his mouth gets even closer to shane's ear, and the voice drops to a low whisper. quiet enough that nobody in the chattering crowd can hear, fucking hopefully.

"there you go, good little slut. just needed someone to take charge, hm? good thing it was me. i know just how to treat filthy boys like you. mmm, slower. that's it. would you swallow my cock this nice? bet you would love it if i bent you over this bar and took your tight little hole in front of all these people. whore."

shane doesn't have the leverage to nod his head, but he tries to squirm in agreement. a shudder wracks his body. the rake pulls back, and the intense eye contact is intoxicating. shane has maybe never felt this helpless before. he's completely obsessed. he's probably batting his lashes at the man like he hung the moon. drops of ale dribble down his chin.

"messy puppy."

shane almost chokes. the rake shushes him, a patronizing coo that goes straight to shane's cock. the hand wrapped around his throat flexes. the cup is eventually lowered, and shane realizes with a rush that it's now empty.

the man stays firmly in shane's personal space, demanding his full attention.

"all done. what do you say?"

"thank you," shane manages. this earns him a pleased smile. he feels hands around his wrists again, and oh. right, he sort of forgot about his arms. he was holding the chain of his own free will, but this still feels like being untied. shane returns his arms to his sides and clears his throat. he hopes jj forked over enough cash so shane doesn't have to pull his wallet out. he braces himself for the rake to wave him off for the next customer.

"i go on break at 1."

a clear invitation. his voice sounds amused and maybe a bit heated. it also sends reality slamming back into shane like a cannonball. he's tipsy, or maybe just drunk off this man, and rock hard at 11 in the morning. his teammates are waiting for him.

how is he supposed to trudge after them for the next five minutes, let alone two hours, at full mast?

the rake doesn't prompt him for a response. the hand that had once held his throat touches his cheek in something between a pat and a light smack. teasing. he thinks through his soupy brain that he can hear the bar wench giggling.

shane steps away with great reluctance. a quick glance shows that jj and hayden had seemingly gotten bored of humiliating him, and bought beers from a separate line. they sit at a picnic table a few meters away, shooting the shit while they wait for shane to wrap up the most transformative sexual experience of his life.

he lets himself look at the man one more time. he's still being watched. predator eyes flick off to the side with intent. shane tries to follow their direction with a head that feels stuffed with cotton.

a porta potty.

unideal for a risky public hook-up. is that what they're doing? shane is still reeling. shane is still a virgin. the location is disgusting. but if that's the only option...

shane subtly adjusts his black joggers and walks back to his teammates like he's waddling through molasses. he glares at his watch and prays that time starts moving faster.

[lovemadethemdoit]

divorced hangster for the soul. bradley never pulls off his wedding band. jake still comes by once a week to stock up bradley's fridge and make sure he eats "real food". jake dates (very unseriously) and bradley glares. jake has a short panic attack in phoenix's laundry room when nat says bradley went on a date instead of coming to the dagger barbecue. it's a set up. bradley didn’t want to go on the date because he's still mentally married to jake. jake doesn’t remember any good reasons why they divorced. bradley tells him he told him so.

[blessyouhawkeye]

i can't stop thinking about ilya rozanov's niece. we see ilya is very good with kids - where else would he have learned that? in 2010 his niece looks about a year, maybe a year and a half old. she spends her childhood having fun uncle ilya play with her all summer, and then her grandfather dies and uncle ilya doesn't come home anymore and she's stuck with her shitty cop dad and his anger in uncle ilya's old apartment. but then when she's what 13? 14? uncle ilya gets outed as gay and marries his long time partner and maybe it starts to make sense to her - uncle ilya didn't leave, he got out. maybe she realizes that if he could do it, she can too. cut to 33 year old happily married shane hollander, who's thought about having kids but not seriously, hearing a knock on the door and opening it to see a 15 year old girl with ilya's dirty blonde curls standing on their stoop. later, watching her and ilya have an argument in russian he doesn't quite understand (he's learning, but they're talking too quickly for him to keep up - he can only really catch "alexei" and "not going back" and "asshole") shane sees her making familiar dramatic gestures and wild grins, sees tension leave ilya's shoulders that had been there since that final trip to moscow. and shane starts mentally remodelling their third bedroom they've never known what to do with, because clearly this girl isn't going to be leaving any time soon. not when she acts so much like ilya, and looks so much like the photos shane has seen of irina rozanova.

[needle-pit-trap]

[slumped-in-the-arms-of-fiction]

Fic Cover Project

I love seeing all the gorgeous cover designs people make for fics they love, and I don't know why it never occurred to me to do it before now. Especially since it is part of my actual literal IRL job. I'm gonna try and do a few of these before something else shiny distracts me. So make room, I'm jumping on the bandwagon.

First up, a series that I immediately fell in love with, Private Meetings and Open Doors by @hermacology

*click for higher quality!

Calling it a Hollanov coffee shop/college au feels too broad, because the series is so much more, but that's the tropey elevator pitch.

Two sides of the same story, each with their own voice and tone, both so beautifully written. Private Meetings introduces us to Shane's world, and what we know (or think we know) of Ilya's through him. Open Doors doesn't rehash, but rather bolsters the narrative while offering Ilya's perspective and giving us a fuller understanding of him.

They're character studies that are so layered and nuanced and fit so well together. Also, hot af and sexy and sweet and just so full of love.

Waffle about the design below the cut, if you're interested!

The play of shadow and light in both covers reflects the underpinning fics' motifs of obfuscation, certain things being hidden or partly revealed, showing parts and hiding others.

Private Meetings is from Shane's POV, but for the cover I see it as Ilya's hand. It's what Shane sees, what Ilya presents to him in the light of the coffee shop, leaving so much hidden. In the shadows is where assumptions and mistakes are made, and secrets are hidden.

Once there was one, and now there are two. Open Doors goes further with the narrative than PM, showing us not only the other side of events, but beyond. Things are murky, there's still some things in shadow, but ultimately, they're in the light, together, slowly learning the other, opening up. Warmer tones to balance the cooler PM cover.

[racerchix21]

If y’all haven’t read these fics y’all need to immediately

[ilyapasta]

There's something so hopeful about Ilya's story in Heated Rivalry and The Long Game, namely, that his love for Shane (not attraction or desire) is partially born out of his own sadness and need for a home, and while the narrative addresses the issues born of such a love, it doesn't punish him for it.

Ilya is drifting, he's a transient character. He doesn't see Boston as his home (he's never felt at ease in America, to paraphrase a book line) and we know how he feels about Russia. He's self-conscious of his language acquisition and his accent pretty deep into the story, even after he's more than proficient. While he supports and funds his family, he doesn't see them as his loved ones, more an obligation. Ilya doesn't ever consider revealing his vulnerabilities to his family because what would be the point? During the Russian monologue in the show, he can barely voice the desire for his father and brother to know him truly. Even his relationship with Svetlana in the show is standoffish, they're not sharing secrets under the covers. They talk about hockey and home and share knowing glances, but there isn't true emotional vulnerability there, except for maybe the scene in Russia, which is one of the first vulnerable moments Ilya has at all.

By contrast, Shane is a grounded character. He's playing hockey for Montreal, his mother's favorite team, and he speaks their language fluently (Hudson doesn't lol, but Shane does!). He's a national hero playing for his own country. He's close with his family, but more than that he sees them as an undeniable part of his life, people he loves and respects. He doesn't want to lie to them, even though he has to. While Ilya flies to Russia in the summer and then back to Boston for the season, Shane has built himself a Cottage close to his family so that he can spend his summers in comfortable familiarity, grounded in his roots. (This creates different pressures for Shane, but this is a meta about Ilya)

Once Shane accepts his sexuality and his feelings for Ilya, he zeroes in on him, target acquired, seeking BOYFRIEND. Ilya, a man who has always accepted and even embraced his sexuality, is the one who's hesitant. He even considers breaking it off with Shane because his worry for him after his injury is too great, too painful. He's used to relationships being transactional, people in his life seek payment from him. Money to his brother, respect to his father, glory to Russia. He gives and gives, yet they view Ilya as eternally indebted to them. They hate him and he hates them back. But with Shane there's a growing attachment.

And Shane is giving. When he invites Ilya to the cottage, he's not asking anything of Ilya, only giving. And I think this rends Ilya down the middle, exposing him, breaking down the walls that not only kept other people at arms length, but kept him safe from hurt and harm. The transience is part of his defense, sort of a "if they can't catch me then they can't hurt me" mentality, but now Shane is asking him to stay. To make plans and build a life and share his home. Remember, Shane is rooted, he's the one with connections that he wants to preserve, not out of obligation, but out of love. He wants Ilya to know his parents. He wants them to exist in the same universe. Shane's powerful desire to integrate Ilya into his life literally plucks Ilya out of thin air, plops him into a family unit, and forces him to content with everything that he's been running from.

Remember, Ilya is so obsessed with Shane's wholesomeness. Ilya wanted to fuck Shane in his real bed. He constantly thinks on how perfect Shane is, how wholesome he is. And his resentment for it grows into infatuation and then love. And once he has it, Ilya wants to stay. He wants to "anchor himself to Shane, and just stay." No wonder being in a relationship triggers Ilya to finally deal with his depression. In order to be in a successful, loving, and committed relationship, you must be vulnerable to a point, and in doing so you yourself have to acknowledge feelings that are easy to ignore when you're alone. Vulnerability with others breeds vulnerability with yourself.

To get back to my opening statement, the hopefulness here is that Ilya is able to wrangle the darkness inside of him, falling further in love with Shane and his life with Shane instead of resenting it. He could have ended up having difficulty with connection, with forming lasting bonds with Shane and his family, but those are precisely the reasons that he needs connection and community. Shane not only gives Ilya his love, but he gives him a place to root. In The Long Game, Ilya must deal with how being rooted is forcing him to deal with emotions and issues he's ignored his entire life, and it's moving to see him form connections with others besides Shane to further root himself in the present time and location. Shane isn't always perfect about this, because he has his own issues and Shane takes his own grounded nature for granted, he's never doubted who he is and where he belongs. He gives Ilya a home and roots and a future because that's what he has to share, it's all bound up in the way he loves. And nothing is perfect at the end of TLG, Ilya is still pursuing methods of relief from his symptoms of depression, but none of that stops him from getting the happy ending.

[wolveramster]

Ilya is flying back from some three day brand deal/photo shoot in LA summer 2024 post playoffs. He’s flying via New York because there’s no Ottawa - LA direct flight, which means when his flight out of LA is delayed, he knows he’s going to miss his connection to Ottawa. The flight’s wifi isn’t working, and he’s just sitting in his seat irritated that he’s not going to make it home to Shane tonight and wishing he could call Shane and apologize and promise to get on the first flight in the morning.

He lands and as soon as his phone reconnects to the network, a voice note from Shane comes through.

“Hey baby, I’ve been watching your flights and I know you missed your connection. There isn’t another flight to Ottawa today, but I booked you a flight to Montreal. It leaves in 90 minutes, so you should have lots of time to make it. I’m going to hop in the car and I’ll pick you up at the Montreal airport. I grabbed us a hotel room so we don’t have to drive back tonight. We’ll be tired, and also I need you inside me like… right fucking now. I’m gonna put a plug in before I hit the road so I’m all ready for you when you land.

Anyway, I sent the flight details to your email so you have everything. I love you so much, baby. I’ll see you soon.” (It’s important to note that this entire message is delivered in a matter of fact, business tone.)

Ilya experiences the Shane-specific range of emotions that his husband is oh-so-good at eliciting in him: gratitude, overwhelming affection, feeling safe and loved, and insane horniness, all before he even gets his bags and gets off the plane.

He subtly adjusts himself and texts Shane as soon as he’s in the terminal.

“Thank you for taking care of the flight. You know how much I respect you, right?”

Shane replies:

“Of course I do, baby. Why?”

Ilya:

“Because when I get you into that hotel room tonight, it’s going to seem like I don’t.”

Shane just sends back a picture of himself, back to the mirror, the merest hint of something silver between his cheeks.

Ilya:

“And they call me a fucking menace. See you soon. I love you.”

Shane:

“I love you too.”

[myshangel]

instances of shane, the worlds most jock, calling ilya baby:

“Baby, what time is it?”

“Huh? Hold on, baby, I can’t hear you. Fuck, it’s loud in here.”

“Fuck, Ilya, yes, like that, baby, just like that, fuck—“

“Ilya, what’s— Are you crying? What’s wrong, baby, it’s okay, it’s— What’s wrong? Please, tell me, what’s wrong?”

“Fuckin’ A, Rozanov! Yes, baby! Fuck, that was a good one. C’mere.”

“Mm, baby, your feet are cold. Ah! Ilya, get your cold fucking feet off me. Put some socks on. Jesus.”

“Hold on, I’ll ask him— Baby, my mom wants to know if steak is good for dinner?”

“Your hair is so fluffy today. No, no, come back, let me— Yes. Thank you, baby.”

“Ilyusha. My baby. Ilyusha. You’re so pretty. Don’t laugh! I’m being serious!”

“You’re gonna have to skate better than that to beat me in the scoring race, baby, I’m locked in this season.”

“Fuck, baby, you’re burning up. No, asshole, I mean you’re sick. You can’t go to practice like this, don’t be fucking stupid.”

“Uh, just a beer, please. Thank you, baby, that’s perfect.”

“Ilya, baby, you want a pretzel?”

“Hi, baby. You looked good out there, that goal was fuckin’ insane.”

[writingdose]

insane to me how, to some people, this is not a common sense

[brokenberries]

Desperately need My Shane to weaponize this face against Ilya in season 2.

[racerchix21]

You wanna see Ilya break quicker than normal? Because this is how you get The Great Ilya Rozanov to break faster than normal. A pouting Shane 🤣

[lucylehane]

kip knows what scott's going to do before he does it

[hollanovhattrick]

tuna melt but when they’re on the couch and Ilya pulls Shane’s head to rest on his chest Shane actually falls asleep and after a few minutes Ilya’s like huh he’s kind of quiet why isn’t he touching my dick yet fuck I really wanted him to touch my dick maybe tuna was bad and he’s internally panicking because uh oh sleepover failed Shane does not like tuna and will not touch my dick but he looks over and Shane is just. Snoring. Ever so softly, face nuzzled into Ilya’s neck, hand limp on his thigh and Ilya literally melts into a puddle because he just fucked Shane Hollander and then they slept in his bed in his home together and then they woke up and Ilya made him lunch and now Shane is just snuggled up against him, conked the fuck out. And Ilya is going to die. He moves to get more comfortable, hand bracing the back of Shane’s neck, moving carefully so not to wake him, so they’re now horizontal on the couch, legs tangled together, Shane’s head on Ilya’s chest, Ilya’s hand carding softly through his hair and Ilya, heart beating so loud he worries it will wake Hollander up just whispers “Shane” and there’s a few moments of silence and just as Ilya himself starts to drift off Shane’s face crinkles as he sighs and tries to bury himself deeper into Ilya’s chest; snuggling closer, just murmurs sleepily, “Ilya.” And oh Ilya Rozanov is definitely dead now. He died perished deceased and this is heaven

[racerchix21]

Okay this is definitely being written by me at some point but picture it: Post Hollanov being outed anytime someone finds out a person is a hockey fan they get asked “Which queer hockey player did you have a crush on as a kid/teen? Were you a Hollander, Rozanov or Scott Hunter girlie(gn) and are they the reason you became a fan of NY, Montreal or Boston/Ottawa?”

It becomes the new whats your HP house question and if you answer Scott there’s a chance you get chirped for it 🤣👀

[starsofnixie]

✨ WIP Wednesday! ✨

Tagged by @tgmsunmontue & @jakekernerkazansky 💛💛

Have returned to working on an older WIP this week in hopes of getting it finished sometime this month! So have an unedited snippet from Bradley losing his mind over Jake holding a baby:

Fuck, he was still so in love with his ex-husband.

Which really wasn't some profound piece of information he was unaware of. They hadn't divorced because of lack of love. It'd been more because they were stationed at opposite ends of the globe and neither had been in favor of opening up their marriage to help tide them over.

They were both just to possessive over one another to even pretend to be okay with it.

So divorce it was.

Nice, simple and easy.

Only they'd fucked up along the way and had turned bitter and bitchy, in Natasha's words, to be cordial despite promising each other they would.

Bradley has always assumed they'd somehow make their way back to one another until the years went on and they grew colder and meaner as they did. In the dead of night he'd always tortured himself with what-ifs and half-baked dreams of what could have been, of what should have been.

Tagging: Tagging (sorry if you've already been!): @butchbradshaw @ryewhiskeyy @rustandstardustbinds @prollybradshaw @green-socks @sonnywrites @seekstrivefind @welcometololaland @mxrcusflint @texasteaparty @intrepidjourneys @peaktotheocean @overwhelmed-alien @theglitteringtrio @lovemadethemdoit @pampelushka @icemavman @smallangrychildbean @touchysoft @racerchix21 @chemtrailbluez @shealwaysreads @pissmotif @unrelaxing @roosterseresin @halestrom and whoever else would like to do this and share something they're working on!! 💛💛💛

[pantserspen]

How to Fix Underwriting

1. Slow down at emotionally important moments.

Big emotions need space to land. If a scene feels rushed, pause the plot briefly to show how the moment affects the character.

2. Add reactions, not explanations.

Instead of explaining what a character feels, show it through physical responses, hesitation, or small actions that reveal emotion naturally.

3. Ground every scene in the senses.

If a scene feels thin, add one or two sensory details—sound, texture, smell, or temperature—to make the moment feel lived-in.

4. Let thoughts interrupt action.

A line of internal thought can deepen a scene without slowing it too much. Thoughts show stakes, fear, longing, or conflict beneath the action.

5. Expand consequences, not events.

You don’t need more things to happen—you need to show what matters. Focus on how events change relationships, decisions, or self-perception.

6. Strengthen setting where emotion peaks.

The environment should echo or contrast the emotion of the scene. Setting is not decoration—it’s emotional reinforcement.

7. Add specific details instead of general ones.

Underwriting often relies on vague language. Swap “they argued” for one sharp line of dialogue or a specific breaking point.

8. Let dialogue breathe.

Short dialogue exchanges without pauses can feel flat. Add beats—silence, gestures, interruptions—to give the conversation weight.

9. Show transitions between scenes.

If scenes jump too quickly, readers feel disoriented. A brief transition helps establish time, mood, and emotional continuity.

10. Clarify stakes early in the scene.

If readers don’t know what can be lost, scenes feel empty. Make sure the character wants something specific and fears losing it.

11. Use the “what are they feeling right now?” check.

After each major beat, ask what emotion is dominant in that moment. If it’s missing on the page, the scene is likely underwritten.

12. Expand scenes that feel “too clean.”

If a scene resolves too neatly or quickly, it probably needs more tension. Messy emotions and unresolved feelings add depth.

[racerchix21]

It’s like a thousand degrees out this week (hey! Extreme Heat Warning) and I’m struggling to find things for my sweet puppies to do that both keeps them both happily occupied and keeps their puppy brains stimulated. If anyone has any suggestions I’m willing to try just about anything:

Things I’ve tried or am going to try tomorrow:

Dog food in old water bottles with holes poked in the sides and they chewed the bottles in half. I put

I put apple chunks in the freezer for tomorrow

I’m thinking about smearing pumpkin purée or applesauce on a plastic or metal tray as a little DIY lick mat for them