Untitled

[autistic-shane-hollander]

From the ask game - what movie have you watched most recently? What did you think of it?

Would Shane enjoy it?

The last movie I watched was 10 things I hate about you and I love it.

Not only do i think shane would like it i think its shanes favorite non hockey movie. Everything Patrick (heath ledger's character) does in that movie is so ilya. The banter between Patrick and Kat is so hollanov. The scene where Kat gets drunk at the party is every drunk shane and ilya takes care of him head canon I see on here. I can absolutely imagine ilya doing his own rendition of the "i can't take my eyes off of you scene." And just the poem Kat writes for English class

I hate the way you talk to me

And the way you cut your hair

I hate the way you drive my car

I hate it when you stare

I hate your big dumb combat boots

And the way you read my mind

I hate you so much that it makes me sick

And even makes me rhyme

I hate the way you're always right

I hate it when you lie

I hate it when you make me laugh

Even worse when you make me cry

I hate it when you're not around

And the fact that you didn't call

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you

Not even close

Not even a little bit

Not even at all

He'd also perk up to the 10 seconds of some extras playing roller hockey in the background because even in shanes favorite movie that's not about hockey there can't be no hockey that would be ridiculous

[wolveramster]

#10 things is relatable to everyone #after they get married #shane shows it to Ilya #and Ilya cries when Kat finds out Patrick was being paid #he loves her Shane #doesnt she know that #i think Ilya sees himself in Kat #trying to ignore her feelings for pretty boy #failing miserably #starting to trust and hope #and then she gets deeply hurt #but it all works out in the end #for both of them #yuna gets them tickets to taming of the shrew for Christmas #hollanov #ilya loves Shane #shane loves Ilya

[i-fear-gritty]

i think if hollanov decide to have more than one kid at least one of them will be a goalie. and you know that kid is going first in whichever draft they end up in because they practiced on shane fucking hollander and ilya fucking rozanov (because if your dads were casually the two best centres in the nhl and two of the most successful hockey players on the planet, then you defend that net like your life depends on it)

everyone else in that years draft thinks this hollander-rozanov child got picked first out of nepotism (because who the fuck is that desperate to pick a goalie first overall in the draft?) until one day that team’s starting goalie is injured and all of a sudden your scoring chances have gone to hell because you’re trying to get the puck past cerberus, the three headed dog that guards the gates of hell

[crumplelush]

someone says something about nepotism and in a fit of rage ilya posts a bunch of videos of their kid at the grand age of eight years old defending the net from their father. and it’s an unacknowledged fact that The Shane Hollander has never gone easy on the ice at all, and the fact he’s playing his still single-digit kid does not change this one iota

and the kid is WINNING. shane is clearly not pulling his punches and a significant number ARE going into the net (because, at the end of the day this is still The Shane Hollander vs a middle-schooler) but the kid is saving enough goals that it’s noticeable

and ilya captions the post. “if our child is capable of this level of goaltending at 8 imagine how good he’ll be in ten years” and then his next post is “oh wait, you don’t need to imagine” and the accompanying video is some of the best saves he’s made that year

(their child also has a brutal sense of humour that the world discovers the first time he’s mic’d up. “why are they mic’ing the goalie?” everyone asks, then the commentary starts and they immediately understand. a petition goes round for him to be mic’d every game. he’s not, but he is mic’d more frequently than the average goaltender)

[lastoneout]

Sorry we really went from free the nipple, take back the night, slut walks, and ending gender/sex segregation in sports being fucking milquetoast feminism 101 concepts to fucking girl dinner and "I just worry about fairness if we let trans girls play against cis ones" and "it was right of that woman to call the cops on a black man for existing near here in public during the day time because men are all violent monsters" and "radical feminism isn't transphobic we just need to kill all men including trans ones those oppressive traitors" and I will legit never be able to be normal about it. What the FUCK happened. I'd say I wonder what the feminists of my youth would say about this but I'm one and lemme tell ya I want to throw up. Go fucking read bell hooks or do something else useful please because all of this learned helplessness, gender essentialism, and transphobia dressed up as feminism is actively holding us back.

[wolveramster]

Ilya is flying back from some three day brand deal/photo shoot in LA summer 2024 post playoffs. He’s flying via New York because there’s no Ottawa - LA direct flight, which means when his flight out of LA is delayed, he knows he’s going to miss his connection to Ottawa. The flight’s wifi isn’t working, and he’s just sitting in his seat irritated that he’s not going to make it home to Shane tonight and wishing he could call Shane and apologize and promise to get on the first flight in the morning.

He lands and as soon as his phone reconnects to the network, a voice note from Shane comes through.

“Hey baby, I’ve been watching your flights and I know you missed your connection. There isn’t another flight to Ottawa today, but I booked you a flight to Montreal. It leaves in 90 minutes, so you should have lots of time to make it. I’m going to hop in the car and I’ll pick you up at the Montreal airport. I grabbed us a hotel room so we don’t have to drive back tonight. We’ll be tired, and also I need you inside me like… right fucking now. I’m gonna put a plug in before I hit the road so I’m all ready for you when you land.

Anyway, I sent the flight details to your email so you have everything. I love you so much, baby. I’ll see you soon.” (It’s important to note that this entire message is delivered in a matter of fact, business tone.)

Ilya experiences the Shane-specific range of emotions that his husband is oh-so-good at eliciting in him: gratitude, overwhelming affection, feeling safe and loved, and insane horniness, all before he even gets his bags and gets off the plane.

He subtly adjusts himself and texts Shane as soon as he’s in the terminal.

“Thank you for taking care of the flight. You know how much I respect you, right?”

Shane replies:

“Of course I do, baby. Why?”

Ilya:

“Because when I get you into that hotel room tonight, it’s going to seem like I don’t.”

Shane just sends back a picture of himself, back to the mirror, the merest hint of something silver between his cheeks.

Ilya:

“And they call me a fucking menace. See you soon. I love you.”

Shane:

“I love you too.”

[wolveramster]

Ilya is flying back from some three day brand deal/photo shoot in LA summer 2024 post playoffs. He’s flying via New York because there’s no Ottawa - LA direct flight, which means when his flight out of LA is delayed, he knows he’s going to miss his connection to Ottawa. The flight’s wifi isn’t working, and he’s just sitting in his seat irritated that he’s not going to make it home to Shane tonight and wishing he could call Shane and apologize and promise to get on the first flight in the morning.

He lands and as soon as his phone reconnects to the network, a voice note from Shane comes through.

“Hey baby, I’ve been watching your flights and I know you missed your connection. There isn’t another flight to Ottawa today, but I booked you a flight to Montreal. It leaves in 90 minutes, so you should have lots of time to make it. I’m going to hop in the car and I’ll pick you up at the Montreal airport. I grabbed us a hotel room so we don’t have to drive back tonight. We’ll be tired, and also I need you inside me like… right fucking now. I’m gonna put a plug in before I hit the road so I’m all ready for you when you land.

Anyway, I sent the flight details to your email so you have everything. I love you so much, baby. I’ll see you soon.” (It’s important to note that this entire message is delivered in a matter of fact, business tone.)

Ilya experiences the Shane-specific range of emotions that his husband is oh-so-good at eliciting in him: gratitude, overwhelming affection, feeling safe and loved, and insane horniness, all before he even gets his bags and gets off the plane.

He subtly adjusts himself and texts Shane as soon as he’s in the terminal.

“Thank you for taking care of the flight. You know how much I respect you, right?”

Shane replies:

“Of course I do, baby. Why?”

Ilya:

“Because when I get you into that hotel room tonight, it’s going to seem like I don’t.”

Shane just sends back a picture of himself, back to the mirror, the merest hint of something silver between his cheeks.

Ilya:

“And they call me a fucking menace. See you soon. I love you.”

Shane:

“I love you too.”

[dk-thrive]

Twilight 2. 5:04 to 5:10 am. 57º F. June 17, 2026. Cove Island Park, Stamford, CT (@dkct25).

[handsywoman]

strangers to colleagues to friends to soulmates <3

[sinmonger]

Hollanov + tweets (part 2)

[gardenvarietyhuman]

💥🙌👏

[ineffablebookgirl]

Well shit, Henry Jenkins, out here in 1997 dropping truth bombs

[addressmysol]

Oh hey I need this for a research paper I'm writing, thank you!

[angstbotfic]

i mean he had been out here since 1988 dropping such bombs:

"'fandom' is a vehicle of marginalized subcultural groups (women, the young, gays, etc.) to pry open space for their cultural concerns within dominant representations; it is a way of appropriating media texts and rereading them in a way that serves different interests, a way of transforming mass culture into a popular culture"

Jenkins, Henry. “Star Trek Rerun, Reread, Rewritten: Fan Writing as Textual Poaching.” Critical Studies in Mass Communication 5, no. 2 (1988): 85–107. https://doi.org/10.1080/15295038809366691.  

there are even some earlier works in fan studies but that’s what i have ready to hand. 

[myshangel]

anyway shane has an office at the irina foundation HQ in ottawa bc he can never get any work done at home and its important to him that hes Somewhat Involved even if he doesnt get to spend much time there. ilya comes by to pick him up so they can go to dinner post-outing and gets five seconds into a joke about sexy mr hollander and his big fancy desk before he notices there’s a framed picture of him just. sitting there. on the big fancy desk. shane framed a picture of him and keeps it on his desk, in public. it’s not even that good of a picture, it’s just ilya sitting on the couch in sweats and smiling at the camera. probably one of the many pictures that shane has sent to his parents over the years, proof of life after an injury or something equally inane.

but it’s there, in a nice frame. and ilya stops mid-joke and points at it and says “this is me?” as if it could be anyone else. shane’s shrugging his jacket on and doesn’t even know what he’s talking about, not really, until he looks over to where ilya is pointing. and he looks between ilya and the desk a few times, confused, because… yes? obviously?

“you have a picture of me on your desk?” ilya asks, and he’s trying so hard to play it off like it’s nothing, something to tease him about, but. but.

shane shrugs. “well, yeah. i like that picture of you.”

“is a bad picture, hollander.”

“fuck you. it’s my desk. i can put what i want on it.”

and maybe ilya would say something like oh i’ll put you on the desk in a minute if he wasn’t suddenly feeling very raw. a few years ago he would’ve said it anyway, but he’s so stuck on the fact that shane has a picture of him on his desk. after a decade of deleting pictures and messages, being so careful not to be photographed anywhere near each other, not even being able to have pictures in their own homes— now shane has a soft, domestic, printed fucking photograph of him framed on his desk in his office. in the headquarters for the charity they share. named after his mother. named for his mother, a name that shane chose, for everything she went through.

“baby, oh my god,” shane is panicking, dashing over the few steps to ilya and wiping the tears from his cheeks with the sleeves of his jacket, “ilya, if you don’t like the picture i can change it.”

“no, no,” ilya tries to wave him off, feeling silly, feeling vulnerable, but shane doesn’t let him go. eyes so wide, so earnest and worried. “no, i like it. i like you. i like you a lot. fuck.”

and shane laughs, but it isn’t mocking or mean or anything ilya would expect from anyone else who might catch him crying. it never is, not with his shane. he just smooths his thumb over ilya’s cheekbone and presses closer to him and says, “i like you too. it’s a good job we’re married, ‘cause otherwise it’d be, like, embarrassing how much i like you.”

[azaablue]

personal hc that one of the hollanov kids loves hockey but it's just not clicking even though they practice all the time and shane and ilya both try different coaching methods with them and it only makes everyone more frustrated and then one day wyatt comes to the rink with them and after 1.5 seconds on-ice he's like "hey i think they're a goalie" and shane and ilya nearly black out because oh. ohhh my god. they're kid is totally, completely, a goalie. and that's why it wasn't fucking working. they have a fucking goalie.

[turquoisedata]

How very depressing that Neil Gaiman had trended not even a tiny bit for demonstrating what a fucking horrific person he is.

As a reminder, he's suing Caroline Wallner, one of his accusers, for breaking her NDA. Not for libel. He's saying she shouldn't have told anyone about it, not that she lied.

Neil Gaiman Seeks $500,000 From Accuser Caroline Wallner

The author says Wallner broke her NDA by sharing her story with the media, including with New York Magazine.

He doesn't need the money. He's risking the Streisand effect. He is punishing Caroline, he's trying to intimidate other victims who have signed NDAs to scare them into continued silence.

He is no friend to women, to the LGBTQIA+ community, to anyone quite frankly unless he thinks they are of value to him.

Share the story. Put it on Facebook and bluesky and whatever else you're on. Make it clear what a horrifying person he is. Tell your friends. He's paying Edendale a fortune to try and cover this up. Make this hard for him. Make it cost him money.

[turquoisedata]

I thought this post would get 150 notes maybe. 300 at the absolute outside.

It's got more than that in the last few hours.

I'm really glad to know how much people hate him.

To the Friends of Calliope — Kitty Kendall, MA, LCMHC

Thank you all so much for your love and support. If you are a survivor reading this, know that you also deserve to be believed, beloved, and

[wolveramster]

Hayden Pike retires a couple years after Shane leaves the Metros. He could try to move teams, but he’s been playing for more than ten years, he’s sore, he’s tired, he wants to spend time with his family, and hockey isn’t as much fun when he’s not playing with people he gets along with.

So the metros are out of the playoffs and Hayden’s announced his retirement and he and Jackie take the kids to Ottawa to watch uncle Shane and uncle Ilya on their playoff run. Like, they rent a big house in Ottawa and just stay for the month.

The Centaurs have just battled their way into the Stanley Cup finals on home ice. They’ve got 4 more games they need to win, but they’ve got a shot at the cup and the energy is electric. So they’re in the family suite with pizza and music and all the Centaur WAGs and kids, celebrating (a little bit) before they go home to soak in ice baths and see their physios.

Hayden and Jackie walk in with the four kids and are immediately greeted with warm hugs and big smiles… Arthur attaches himself to Shane’s side and the twins go off to find cake with Yuna and little Amber Pike (4 years old now) shimmies out of her mom’s arms with a happy cry of “uncle Ilya!” because of all the Pike kids, she doesn’t remember a time that Ilya wasn’t in her family and she looooves him.

Ilya crouches down with a big smile, ready to pick her up and swing her around, but thirty seconds later she’s not in his arms and he stands up and realizes he’s lost sight of her in the crowd. He glances over to Hayden and Jackie, hoping they’ve got her, but nope - they’re chatting with Bood and Shane’s got Arthur but no sign of Amber…

There’s maybe only 50 people in the room and they’re all friends and teammates and trusted additions but Ilya’s chest goes tight and his vision blurs and for just a minute he feels the way he knows Shane does when the panic starts to set in because he’s lost too much family not to constantly carry the terror that maybe he’ll lose this one too. He pushes the panic down with sheer force of will, the muscle memory of controlling his emotions may be a legacy of his traumatic upbringing but it does have its uses.

And in his huge, booming Captain voice he yells out “EVERYONE FUCKING FREEZE” and every player knows that tone and knows Roz is not fucking around and the room goes almost eerily silent as everyone literally stops moving, maybe stops breathing.

Everyone except for a tiny voice that sings out “swear jar!” and Ilya whips around and there’s Amber, pressed against the back wall and trapped by too many big hockey players and looking a little hesitant, but absolutely okay. And Ilya crosses over to her in four strides, literally pushing bodies out of his way so he can scoop her up and toss her gently in the air, making her laugh - and that sound eases the remaining tension out of Ilya’s body.

Hayden looks at Jackie and Jackie looks and him. They both know they’re calling a realtor in the morning. It’s time to move to Ottawa and live closer to their family.

[pastainhismouth]

I've read so many fics where our boys are doing laundry every single time they fuck and I get it, I too am not a bodily fluid enjoyer

however!

may I introduce the concept of the sex blanket? it's big and soft but not too slidey. it's lightweight enough to be easily bundled into the washer or a picnic basket ('oh my god, ilya, not in the park') but heavy enough to absorb their sweat and come without getting it on what's underneath. it's just the right texture for shane to have on his back or his knees or his ass or rubbing against his face. it's machine washable and dries quickly without getting too wrinkled. it's a kind of ugly nondescript colour that doesn't seem to stain. it's a practical (because shane) and endearing (to ilya) solution

with me so far? okay.

now please imagine the sex blanket as mating call. Ilya comes home from the grocery store and shane is sitting reading on the sofa, glasses on, not looking at ilya - but he's laid out the sex blanket across the couch and ilya immediately drops the groceries on the floor. shane gets out of the shower after his morning run expecting ilya to be up with anya or making them breakfast - but he's on the sex blanket on the bed, smirking, and shane gets hard so fast he's weak from it. one time ilya lays the sex blanket out on the patio while they're making dinner and shane can't stop shooting glances at it through the patio doors, getting flustered even though they're cooking something complicated with a lot of steps that he really needs to focus on. Ilya pretends innocence and won't touch him until they're outside after dinner...on the sex blanket.

all I'm saying is I think our boys are pavloving themselves into getting hard at the sight or feel of a particular blanket and I'm so proud of them yay

[spicyvampire]

Wishing Shane Hollander a very slutty 35th birthday

HEATED RIVALRY (2025−)

[wolveramster]

Thinking about Ilya in the hotel room in tampa, when Shane says “you’re not gay” and he says “no, not completely.”

And we just gloss over this because canonically Ilya is bisexual but

BUT

I think Illya is homoromantic.

And I think that’s what he’s trying to articulate to Shane in that moment. Like, yes. I fuck all hot people. Why would I? But when I picture curling up next to someone or holding someone in my arms, it’s made bodied.

We see him with Svetlana. Silly and playful. And lounging on her lap so she can pet his hair. But it’s decidedly friendly, not romantic. Whereas with Sasha in that bathroom… it’s almost like Ilya is afraid of giving in to what’s between them. He’s so rigid, he’s so careful. And we know it’s not the danger (which Ilya tends to like) so is it maybe that he knows that if he let himself maybe he’d fall for Sasha?

So no. Ilya’s not “completely” gay but I think this is the moment that he realizes (or admits) that he’s not going to fall in love with a woman (even leaving aside the Shane of it all.)

[svetaroses]

Shane is not team mom and conversely Ilya is not team dad. They’re very clearly the gay uncles who have control of the planning and vibes of the situation, consummate meddlers of the highest degree. No parental energy towards the team. However ✋👉 Bood, guy with the grill and the energy of someone holding a child leash, and Wyatt, with a solid presence and a niche hobby nobody else cares about. Those are mom and dad.