“I’m headed to lunch!” Laura’s production assistant chirped, “wanna join?”
“Uhh. No. That’s all right - I still have a little work left to do,” Laura lied.
“Oh well, no worries! See you later.”
Owl-like, Laura’s head slowly swiveled to watch her exit. The minute the door clicked shut, Laura slumped in her chair and slid her slender frame under the desk with a suspicious grace that suggested common practice.
Reaching her hand back up, she snatched her purse off the back of the chair and pulled it under. Knees tucked in close, she pulled a neatly folded tinfoil packet from the depths of her purse and smiled devilishly. She began to unwrap.
Laura started and hit her head hard on the top of the desk.
“OW - what the fuck?!” Laura cried out, “who is that?” She rubbed her head.
“Oh sorry. Thought you might want some company,” the low voice continued, too close for comfort. Laura crawled out from under the desk, tinfoiled tacos in hand. Her eyes scanned from one end of the office to the other, but the space remained unoccupied.
“Down here,” the mellow voice offered and Laura jumped again. Eyes narrowed, she looked down at her desk but everything looked normal; her laptop, her turquoise water bottle, and her dinosaur in the Central Perk mug remained perfectly laid out - except, wait - was the dinosaur waving? She leaned in.
“Joey?!” She questioned and a hand flew to her mouth in surprise. He WAS waving.
“Oh, er, my name’s not Joey. I mean I appreciate being named after such an, erm, capricious character, but my mother named me Linda.” Linda stretched her taut, plastic face into a huge grin. Her bony frill and horns stretched upwards.
Laura looked over her shoulder and around the office.
“Um. Huh!” Laura stuttered and stepped backwards.
“No, please stay! I’d love some company while I eat,” Linda gasped and pulled a small folded paper bag out from inside the mug.
Laura stopped in her tracks.
“Of course I eat! How do you suppose I stay healthy and nourished!” Linda laughed and tugged on one of her horns.
“But, how come I never see you eat?” Laura asked.
“You’re always under your desk, silly,” Linda answered and pulled a teeny tiny banana out from her lunch bag.
Laura pulled her desk chair towards her and slowly lowered herself, toying with the edges of the tinfoil packet.
“Go ahead and eat, honey!” Linda gestured and pulled a ziploc’d sandwich out of the bag.
Laura tentatively unwrapped her tacos and glanced up at Linda, her chocolate eyes swirling with questions.
“So,” Laura bit her lip then continued, “why have you never talked to me before?”
Linda put her sandwich down and sighed, “Well -”
The office door slammed open against the wall and a tall, bearded man came blustering in, his cap flying off in the rush. Taco frozen halfway between her lap and her mouth, Laura’s eyes widened.
“Hi, Kris!” She squeaked.
“Hey Laura, I gotta rush to make this conference call,” he waved and speed-walked to his office.
Laura breathed a sigh of relief and glanced down at her desk.
“Linda?” She whispered hopefully.
Eyes glazed over, Linda stood frozen in her usual pose. Laura slowly reached out her forefinger and tenderly touched Linda on the head. Nothing.
She slumped back down in her chair, chewing her taco thoughtfully. Thank goodness for that, she thought, and relished her alone time once again.