[radiob1tch]

snicks. he/him. pre op transman. pst. please no minors, i am almost thirty. i am here to like and reblog hazbin stuff. i may make edits of some kind, we shall see. this is a sideblog. i follow back from @chadwarwickd

i am an alastor simp but recognize he is not a model citizen lol so ain't gonna be excusing his bs. criticizing my problematic faves is my fave thing to do ngl.

i am anti vivziepop.  i can like her content without liking her, and that is very much the case here.

i don't "hate" any characters honestly per se, but there are some i just don't really care much for. and honestly thats mostly to do with the fandom more than it is with the show. i won't be bashing anyone here tho so no worries.

as long as you recognize a ship may be problematic, idc what you ship. if its not illegal, go for it. sail that toxic ship! stan that problematic couple! adore that unconventional stereotype! i love toxic ships myself! however, and i don’t give a fuck what vivzie or anyone else says, if you romantically ship angel, vaggie, velvett or any other gay or lesbian character under the sun with the opposite sex, BLOCK ME RN.

ship them queer platonically as much as you like!!! i have learned so much about how this type of relationship works and its so eye opening for me! there are literally so many ways to go about this and still get the content you want! action does not equal attraction! and applies to everyone! its not exclusive to aro/ace/aroace people. but please leave their orientation alone. i will not engage with homophobic and lesphobic fans. using a creative alternative is not an excuse to suddenly label a gay character as anything but.

and definitely miss me with that “but I HEADCANON THEM AS TRANS SO ITS OKAY!!!” as a trans man that is so fucking demeaning i cannot even. trans people are the gender they identify with, full. stop. its 2025 we are not going to reduce gender to whats in our pants.

not every trans person even gets bottom surgery, and i personally don’t plan on it. so i guess its okay to romantically date a lesbian then? make it make fucking sense.

you are also not gonna sit here and tell me since i still have a 🐱 that i am not a “real man.”

block me if you have this mentality.

also this applies to any canon queer identity. don’t be making bi and pan folk gay. that ain’t cool. biphobia is just as bad as homophobia.

for my likes, i am partial to radioapple, radiostatic / radiosilence, chaggie, huskerdust, staticmoth, cherrisnake and radiohusk

i personally interpret alastor as aroace myself, grey at most but, i am well aware, him being aro is not explicitly canon/anymore. though, thats not gonna stop me from seeing him as non-allo on both fronts. i also believe based on evidence from the show and in interviews, it's abundantly clear he is meant to be aro as well as ace. and no, i won't argue about it.

however, as he canonly has no explicitly stated romantic orientation i feel alright consuming romantic content with him, despite my own stance. should canon say otherwise i will only be shipping him queer platonically. everyone in the community deserves to be seen in media, and that should be respected.

that said, i am not going to personally go out of my way to start a shipping war. i will just block and move on. (unless you are being a homophobic asshole) however, for transparency you should know my personal dislikes:

i ain't gonna explain here why i dislike them, but you are free to ask! they are just not for me! (i am only gonna list the more widely known ones)

staticapple (unless its a poly with alastor)

valastor (i can see radiostaticmoth tho)

radiomaid

charlie x adam

guitarspear

these are ships i was indifferent too, and or simply just didn't vibe with, but now make me a bit uncomfy for one reason or another. i won’t follow anyone who’s main source of hazbin content is one of these (people who are not multiship) but i have absolutely no issue with anyone who chooses to ship these! this blog is a safe place. i just have these tags blocked is all.

charlastor

radiodust

staticbelle

these however, i want no part of. do not follow me if you heavily support these pairings.

any canon gay or lesbian character with someone of the opposite sex in a way that ignores their sexuality. ie. don't romantically ship angel with a woman, or velvette or vaggie with a man. (action does not equal attraction, but there is a LINE) so vaggie x angel, staticdoll etc..

romantic poly vees. again, queer platonic is AN OPTION.

there is likely more, they just ain't popular enough for me to care to list. but yeah, i am not gonna tell you what you can and cannot like. you do you. just if you’re gonna be homophobic/lesphobic/biphobic, leave me outta it.

[blue-rose-soul]

My mind shan't be changed.

[radiob1tch]

very uncomfortable with minors on my blog,, please do not follow or interact with me. its on my pinned but i wanna reiterate it.

[spajderserdel]

i am cringe but i am free

[oddyseye]

I SWEAR I HAVE NOT SEEN A SINGLE PERSON TALK ABOUT THIS SCENE THE WAY I SAW IT AND I’M LOSING MY MIND SO HERE’S MY RANT.

This was THE moment where Valentino’s entire character snapped into focus. NOT because of violence, NOT because of dominance, but because of BOUNDARIES.

Everyone spent the whole first half of the season painting Valentino as “the weak one,” the “scared one,” the one “under Vox’s thumb,” like he was just this pathetic wet cat clinging to his terrifying TV boyfriend, and this episode proved beyond doubt that Valentino was never physically powerless, “too scared to fight back,” or physically beneath Vox. HE COULD HAVE DESTROYED VOX AT ANY TIME. He is terrifying when he wants to be. He rips the man’s HEAD off like he’s removing a stubborn jar lid. This is not someone who is “too weak” to defend himself.

The gag is this: He didn’t. BECAUSE. HE. LOVED. HIM. That was the line he wouldn’t cross. Hurting Vox (seriously) was the one thing he would not do. Until this scene.

Because THIS, AND THIS ALONE, was the thing that finally crossed Valentino’s boundary. Not Vox yelling. Not Vox controlling him. Not Vox being arrogant or cruel or bigoted or insufferably smug. No. Valentino doesn’t freak out over any of that, because that’s just “Vox being Vox.” He’s lived with that for years. He knows that version of Vox. He’s built his life around that version.

What he cannot handle, what cracks him open, is Vox finally admitting, out loud, that he does not care if he lives or dies, essentially saying “I don’t care if I die as long as Alastor goes down with me.”

Do people understand what a HORROR that is for Valentino?

That is the exact moment he realizes: “Oh. You don’t care if YOU survive. You don’t care if WE survive. You would trade your own life—AND MINE, AND VELVETTE’S—just to settle a seven-year grudge.”

THAT is the betrayal. The betrayal is Vox giving up on EXISTENCE. The betrayal is Vox saying “You don’t matter enough to keep me alive.” The betrayal is Vox saying “WE don’t matter enough to keep me alive.”

And THAT is when Valentino stops being gentle. He tries, obviously, he reaches out softly, and it is the softest this man has ever been, and Vox SHOVES HIM AWAY, and that’s it. The moment Vox rejects the olive branch, the moment Vox chooses oblivion over their bond, Valentino flips from heartbroken to survival mode.

Not because he stopped loving him, but because loving him is EXACTLY why he refuses to let Vox kill them all.

So he does the one thing he’s never done before: he hurts him. He yanks his entire head off, violently and decisively, not out of anger, but out of sheer terror that the man he loves is trying to die.

This whole time, he wasn’t restrained because he was weak. He was restrained because he cared.

And the ONLY thing that finally pushed him past that restraint was the realization that Vox would rather annihilate himself—and everyone around him—than let go of the stupid deer vendetta.

This is not “Vox being Vox.” This is Valentino realizing: “Oh. You stopped choosing life. And if you stop choosing life, I have to choose it for you.”

Valentino’s not naïve. He didn’t “miss the red flags.” He walked into the field, collected the flags, waved them around like parade banners, and kissed the man holding them. He knew EXACTLY who Vox was, and he still said yes.

Valentino doesn’t rip Vox’s head off to win. He’s not trying to dominate him. He’s not trying to “put him in his place.” It’s literally the opposite. He takes Vox’s head because he has NO OTHER WAY to keep him alive.

Also let’s talk about the symbolism because YES, IT’S SYMBOLIC.

Vox loses his HEAD. The part he thinks with. The part he plots with. The part he obsesses with. The part that is STUCK on Alastor like a looping broadcast. And Valentino literally rips off the part of Vox that wants to die. Valentino and Velvette are left holding the part of Vox that matters most to them: the part that thinks, schemes, talks, curses, teases, obsessively obsesses over them. The part that defines him as Vox. The body, all the posturing, the brute force, the physical dominance? Not necessary. Gone.

The audacity of this scene is unreal. This is love distilled to pure preservation of the self he cannot lose, and it hits harder than any overtly romantic scene ever could.

[cyanbloodart]

Radiostatic nation, how are we feeling? 😭

[the-diary-of-a-moody-teenager]

He knows the TV Head is wrapped around his fingers

[starweaversguidetothehazbinhotel]

Alright you weary sinners.

Buckle on up and strap yourselves in. We’ve only got a few hours left before the final drop of season two and I’ve got one last crack theory to share. Before Vizzepop destroys us all.

*Spoiler Alert*

Partially inspired by linked post:

💬 7  🔁 122  ❤️ 813 · Oh my god what if Alastor was intentionally looking for sinners who had potential to be powerful Overlords and outrank

-

This season confirmed what we should’ve all known: Alastor sold his soul before he even died. Tumblr theories? Obliterated. AO3 fanfics? Irrelevant. Fans worldwide assumed he “misplaced” his soul right before his little seven-year-long“sabbatical,” but no—our impeccably suited, cane-wielding Radio Demon didn’t even wait for death to darken his door. He tossed his soul into Hell like a gambling addict at a demented roulette wheel. All chips in, sass and flair, going down with the grace of the Titanic. Absolute king behavior.

And knowing this, now turns half of season one into a tragic/comedic masterpiece—mostly at Alastor’s expense.

For years, we thought Husk lost his soul to Alastor in some dramatic infernal poker game. Bets placed, angles calculated, growing power bit by bit. We assumed Alastor was manipulating the situation, and slowly but surely strengthening his position—very sexy, very demure. Classic Al.

But now? Now we know Rosie already made Alastor the most powerful sinner in Hell the moment he arrived. So why would he need Husk’s soul—Or anyone’s soul, for that matter? The deer already owns the full casino. All the chips. The cards. The dealer. Why bother sitting down at a gambling table at all? Especially without having his own soul to bet?

Because the dumbass was trying to LOSE.

And failing. Catastrophically.

Husk’s solo in “Loser Baby” literally spells it out for us : “I sould my soul to save my power..”

Translation? They weren’t betting souls or coin —they were wagering pure, unfiltered, demonic power. It was the Radio Demon versus the Gambling Overlord in the most cursed, hellish Texas Hold ’Em in history. And Alastor, our beloved eldritch monster and absolute gentleman?

He was trying to throw the damn game.

Picture him at the flashy poker table: perfectly pressed suit, polished shoes tapping to the soft crackle of static like a snare drum in a jazz club, smiling that unnervingly wide grin. All suave and charm, thinking: “Surely this hand,” he thinks, “Surely this one will be the one I lose.”

And Hell , in all its damning, snarky, glory, just responds: NO <3.

He can’t lose. No matter how hard he tries, he physically cannot stop winning.

This man’s curse is to always be the “luckiest” creature at the poker table. Picture him desperately tossing good hands, trying to sabotage himself, and the dealer just keeps turning over royal flushes. Meanwhile, Husk is sitting across the table, leaking power like a freshly popped champagne, clutching at the fading hope that maybe, just maybe, the annoying gentleman in the bright red suit will finally fold.

Nope.

Win after win.

Every hand. Every spin. Every deal. The man is cursed to win at all costs.

This is why Husk knows about Alastor’s “leash.” He literally watched the radio host spiral through the five stages of grief while simultaneously cleaning out the entire casino. What would’ve thrilled any other soul, clearly caused Alastor more stress.

The brilliant scheme he concocted was failing. Losing his power to Husk was all he needed to break Rosie’s contract, and yet Hell said:

“Haha, no.”

In the end, Husk sells his soul to get his power back, and Alastor hands it over without a second thought. Why? Because it doesn’t matter. Alastor has already hit the jackpot. He’s got so much power he could tip the valet, hire the orchestra, and buy the whole casino without even noticing. Giving Husk a power-up won’t change his current status as the final boss.

And maybe that’s the real story here. Alastor has been trying to break his deal far longer than we imagined. His deal with Charlie, the whole “yes, Vox, please kidnap me, I need enrichment” bit? Just the latest scheme. He has gone toe-to-toe with ancient overlords, attempted to nudge up-and-coming demons like Vincent into power, and even placed his fate in the loving arms of pure, unfiltered dumb f*cking luck. This whole time: Alastor has been running multi-level escape attempts like a demonic Houdini.

Why the desperation to escape?

Maybe he got fed up with Rosie. Maybe he realized her task was an impossible one to achieve, forever keeping him in a eternal limbo as her “pet”.

Or maybe, just maybe, he leaned back in a smoke-filled speakeasy, jazz softly crackling from some invisible gramophone, and thought:

“Wait a second. I spent my life as a free black man— swinging to jazz, surviving life on charm and sheer audacity— changing my fate and carving the destiny I desired…and now I’m supposed to spend my afterlife answering to a white woman? Absolutely not.”

Thus began the rebellion.

And the pièce de résistance? Alastor theoretically could have freed himself…

If he’d only been slightly worse at gambling.

But no.

He is the luckiest bastard alive (…dead?), forever trapped in a game he cannot throw, spinning the roulette wheel that always lands on 666. A man caught between the roar of jazz and the clink of casino chips, doomed to win when he most desperately wants to lose.

And we love him for it.

Our jazz-age, high-roller hotelier.

Our untouchable static girlboss.

Our cursed gentleman gambler.

The Radio Demon—immaculately suited, impeccably polite, and eternally winning at the absolute worst possible moments.

From all these years of trying, we know at least one thing to be true.

Alastor is stubborn. It’s been a defining trait in his personality since the days when he was alive. Refusing to submit to “his place” in the status quo. Doing what he must to dazzle and charm and fight his way to the top.

No matter what. He will reach his goals- and he won’t quit until he regains his freedom.

You can bet on it.

[poemchit]

“No, we didn’t date. Technically he wasn’t an ex-boyfriend. But he was an ex-something, an ex-maybe. An ex-almost.”

—

[radiob1tch]

RADIOSTATIC / RADIOSILENCE

idk if anyone has talked about this, but imma throw my thoughts into the ring: this is kinda fuelled by headcanons mind you, but i digress

so in this scene pictured below, vox doesn’t say he wants to kill alastor he says he wants to “wipe that smile off [his] fucking face.” and i think those words are very intentional on the writers part.

the camera cuts during that sentence to alastor and as you can see in the image below, he looks PISSED.

its been stated canonly by alastor he always wears a smile cause it “keeps your enemies guessing,” among other things. its very much implied in this frame that alastors sneer is hatred, but we never really do know what alastor is really thinking cause he ALWAYS grins. obviously there are other tells but thats not the point of this post.

now my point is, since alastor always smiles, almost always, they are fake smiles. just a mask to hide real emotion and keep people wondering what he is thinking. to “inspire your friends” and ensure “your the one in control.”

so we have never actually seen a REAL smile from hi— oh wait, see below.

look how soft! and happy! and content! he is. that is pure unfiltered joy! he is comfortable and relaxed and enjoying his friends company. hes smiling softly, laughing genuinely at vox IMITATING him and looks like he wouldn’t rather be anywhere else.

which brings me to my point. THIS IS THE SMILE VOX ALWAYS SAW. from day one i bet alastor gave him a pure silly smile and vox swooned right there (babes i would too i get it). everyone else got the radio demons grin, a picture of control and nothing but. BUT VOX: he always got alastor.

he got to see alastors real smile. his real emotions. and he revealed in it. alastor inspired him because he made vox feel seen and in a crowd of many, he was the ONLY ONE alastor really smiled at.

then came the down fall. vox asked his best friend, his idol, his mentor, for a partnership (not just in business. but thats open to interpretation) and he was OPENLY MOCKED.

alastor laughed at him. told him he was “weak” and “disappointed [with him.]” insulted his abilities and tore down every good thing vox and him ever shared.

and if that wasn’t bad enough alastor told vox they were essentially never friends. now look how he looks at him when he says that

look at that manic grin. vox has seen that smile many times before. those flashing eyes, that sneer, thats a face alastor wore around many BUT NEVER AT HIM. this person looking back at him now was the radio demon, hells most powerful and feared. this was not alastor. not the man who gave him soft smiles and pleasant company. not the man who he idolized and fell in love with.

this was someone different, someone evil. and vox didn’t like it. he didn’t like it one bit. he didn’t like his dreams of him and alastor to the end of the time being shattered. he could not let go of a future they could have had. not let go of a past they shared where vox saw more than the beast, and got to know alastor as he was.

he misses the simple times when alastor smiled at him like he was the only person in the world. now that smile is gone and alastor only looks at him like he does most people— fake, a mask to hide his true emotions.

vox wants to wipe that smile from alastors face forever because he cannot bare the fact he knows whats underneath and will never see it again. and the only way to be free of the torment is to permanently extinguish it all. thats why he cries.

[majosullivan]

Situationship failed so inconceivable bad it has you happily nuking the entire city in the hopes that it will kill the man who you technically cannot even call your ex

[wazzi2ya]

IS HE DEADASS CRYING???? OVER ALASTOR????

[the-irreverend]

So are we radiostatic stans gonna acknowledge the fact that Alastor called Vox "Baby."

[bean-spring]

I absolutely adore the fact that Val and Velvette never even suggest leaving Vox behind and their perfect outcome has always been "we need him to snap out of it". They still care for him so much and they did what was best for all of them tbh

[radiob1tch]

vox is the literal epitome of “for you, i will burn the world.” he would do ANYTHING if alastor said he would be his.

[radiob1tch]

radioapple nation we gonna be eating next season ✨😌

[radiob1tch]

look all that finale proved was vox’s entire personality is alastor.