divine

detrans + radfem + gnc woman + 25

[radlizbeth]

perhaps i shall come back a bit...

[radlizbeth]

i've decided to mostly abandon this blog and focus on making meaningful connections with women irl and just reading more theory instead of having discourse on tumblr. my experience here mostly sucked but to those of you who were kind to me and engaged in discussion with me in a genuine way, thank you <3 there are so many very intelligent, compassionate, open minded women on here who are also great writers. i hope some of you will write a book or something. but anyways bye for now!!!!

[radlizbeth]

why do men do that thing where they're talking to you (a woman) and sound normal and then (for example) some guy walks in as soon as they start speaking to each other they force their voice down an octave or two and put on that "Dude voice". not every guy ive met does this but the most wicked evil ones i know do. idk if its connected lol

[innerchildabortionclinic]

ℹ️Stupid Asshole Who Misread Your Post would like to send an anonymous ask

[radlizbeth]

idk if its my mental illness but radblr is making me paranoid. theres so many accounts that seem like really blatantly fake accounts and im not talking about the 20k bots that spam the tags. but accounts that have been here for at least a year and you go back in their archive and all they've ever posted is really divisive shit stirring misogynistic crap and packaging it up to be radfem.

Anyways im feeling uneasy because i get so many anons in my inbox talking about discourse and while i do like engaging in discussion, i'm confused why its being sent to me. I have next to no followers on this blog and since I feel like radblr is already so anonymous why not just message me with the post to talk about it or tag me or something. Anyways I'm turning anon off cause its making me paranoid.

to the last anon who sent me the message about eugenics/mens behavior being rooted in biology, if you wanna message me and talk about it i wont post your account publicly or anything. i just am feeling too crazy lately. back when i was on tumblr as a teen i had thousands of followers and i'd get an anon like once a year so im just confused why now my inbox is flooded with controversial discourse stuff. if you wanna discuss a topic with me i will almost always want to but id rather do it directly with someone not hiding their account.

[radlizbeth]

Yeah i mean irl but tbh even on here some women have male partners and i know ex-tgirl is a man in this space. It's hard to gauge whether men actually agree with you for the good reasons but it's still nice at the very least to ask how those women met them and how they breached the topic of feminism. Best of luck finding them!! To be honest I am also still searching haha. I think the biggest issue in all this is people not reading theory books. Maybe it's a good idea to look into book clubs even if women are the majority in those spaces?

yeah i know women have male partners on here and as long as theyre safe and happy thats all good with me. i trust their judgement and maybe only feel suspicious of men being feminists because of how ive been duped by men pretending to be into it to gain something from me. and yeah it seems like very few people read theory books and i feel like its easy to tell the ones who have. this might be a controversial take but i feel like you need to read theory to be a radical feminist at least in the political movement/liberation sense. im not desperate to find a male feminist for my own enjoyment of him i literally just need a glimmer of hope

[radlizbeth]

A much less extreme example but a gender non conforming guy i was getting close to also used an insult that's woman specific to talk about someone we know and is a hasan piker fan. Ngl when it happened my heart died a bit, but I think that all of them internalized patriarchal values unless they're actively into feminism. I don't believe any of this is natural or unchangeable either, and there is definitely a misogyny gradient among men. Btw something annoying is that it's so hard to discuss feminism with them because they'll agree but for conservative reasons. But I do think those Good Enough men are probably in real feminist activist circles (even if it's very hard to weed out the ones who are just there to be predatory). They do exist still, I don't believe any doomer narrative about the whole half of the population being irredeemable.

I get u. My heart sinks every time I start enjoying my time with a guy like some male coworker or acquaintance and then they say some shit even if to the untrained ear its mild. its like come onnnnnnnn

also wdym by real feminist activist circles? like irl or online or both? i dont think ive run into a single man in any of my feminist online groups but maybe in person it'd be different. I don't believe the whole doomer narrative either. I'm really hoping its a nurture thing and not a nature thing ykno.

[radlizbeth]

damn. i had a small handful of men close to me who gave me hope. they kinda dwindled down because as they got comfortable with me theyd start showing their true colors. maybe because im so masculine they saw me as "one of the bros" and thought itd safe to be openly nasty around me.

one in particular though was very convincing to me that his mind was changed and eyes were opened and all this shit after we became close and i talked more and more about feminism and why its important to me. recently found out hes a compulsive liar not exaggerating like lied about most every and hid a bunch of shit from me. made up this whole persona to be in my life. idk if hes an incel but his best friend is literally an incel like on the forums and shit. and he accidentally revealed to me he had a bunch of blatantly misogynistic memes saved to his phone. and is a porn addict despite pretending to not watch it and pretending to agree when id talk about the porn industry lol. and is a serial cheater.

i have to believe that men can change and theres good enough ones out there that would ally with radfems and then change the other one's minds. cause if thats not true i don't know what the point in trying is. like i wont get all doomer black pill or whatever but its just so disappointing. is it really all men to that extreme and i was being too optimistic? does anyone have experience finding me who are truly Good or like Good Enough lol

[radlizbeth]

not a traditional show or movie but if you like gardening or fish or nature, serpadesign on youtube makes a bunch of really cool aquariums and vivariums and films and posts the process on youtube with narration, he never really shouts or does anything startling. also fish related, the octopus lady on youtube does videos on various cool marine life (she is a bit gendery though, just a warning)

thank you that sounds right up my alley <333

[radlizbeth]

I alao wanted to add that I don’t live in a conservative country! I have just never understood the argument that there is no normal clothes for women, or that they’re all uncomfortable. People on here talk as if the only outfits available are skintight short dresses and super high heels.

i dont think people don't know that there are other options. i think people are saying theres a pressure to be dressed in the sexualized outfits to appeal to men and at the same time be shamed for it. either way i know its dependent on where you live. Spend a year living in los angeles and then get back to me lol

[radlizbeth]

I don’t think most women’s clothing is tight fitting or anything like you described though? I’m one of the only women I know who wears clothes from the men’s section, and let’s say 95% of women I see outside wear completely normal women’s clothes instead. There’s like 5% that tend to wear leggings outside or croptops (mostly teens during the summer), or something more ‘sl*tty’/showing a lot of skin.

So when I think of men wearing women’s clothes, I just imagine that? I’ve seen a few men in the bigger cities here wear items like that (fashion types), and sometimes a guy in a skirt. But I’ve never seen those overly sexual outfits. It’s suuuuper rare to even see men in women’s clothes here, too.

I’m more against makeup being normalized than just female clothes.

thats ok my experience with womens clothing and what i see women wear in the cities i live in aren't universal the same way your experiences aren't. i know theres mostly normal womens clothes too and im not that pressed about what people want to wear. i just dont get it personally and i see the over-sexualized misogynistic female beauty standard a lot. i dont like makeup or beauty industry because it profits off of manufacturing insecurities in women and then selling them the solution. i dont think anyone should financially support an industry like that and i think people should normalize a womans natural face. theres a book called Beauty Sick by Renee Engeln if you're interested in the subject. I think if makeup was focused as an art form and went into the weird/avant garde it would be cooler and i'd be less against it. but the argument made that alt makeup isnt for the male gaze annoys me its like yea it is its just for the alt male gaze who fetishizes alt/goth/emo/egirls lol (i know u werent talking about that im just rambling now)

[atwoodsfemalefantasy]

at this point, after watching what two or three (?) radfem anonymous opinion/poll blogs turn out to be MRA or TRAs in disguise, i'm just gonna say i don't think anyone should be submitting to radfem anonymous blogs. if these are really men, they're just running these blogs to stir controversy between radfems, get some sick pleasure out of hearing our trauma, or infiltrate our spaces. at this point, just stop interacting.

[antisextrade]

Check out or Anti-Sex Trade Subreddit for more quotes: https://www.reddit.com/r/antisexwork/

[52stations]

:-)

[radlizbeth]

just read your other response. i understand OCD can make it hell to figure out your sexuality, especially when you're a SSA woman in this world, and i know radblr posts about The Evil Bisexual Women definitely don't help either. whatever you really are, you know you're gender nonconforming and you know you're attracted to women, and i don't think anyone should have a problem with you describing yourself as a gnc sapphic woman or a stag bi if you want to emphasize being SSA. i generally don't feel comfortable telling people i know what their orientation is, and that's true here too, but i will encourage you to be gentler with yourself about this. i don't think it's a crime or a failing on your part to be confused or to struggle to untangle your real feelings from mental illnesses and from what society expects from you.

if you want to err on the respectful and safe side, don't call yourself butch, at least not unless you feel very sure or as close to sure as is possible with OCD that you're a lesbian.

but i'm sorry life has been so rough on you. please take care of yourself and remember to focus on things that lighten the load on your mind, too

thanks for your kindness and empathy and advice. It really is so hard to figure out sexuality when you have OCD. I think its also really hard when youve been abused as a child in that way. People dont understand that it impacts your relationship with sexuality really severely for some people. Or at least it did for me. And then u add my family being extremely homophobic and me wanting my family to love me lol. I'm having an OCD moment trying to "figure out" something I probably will never have certainty on. I'll try to take care of myself and not be too hard on myself. but i'm still sorry if i annoyed anyone or caused unnecessary drama. I'm trying to find ways to lighten my mental load but to be real with yall my mental problems have reached a new low and im struggling to crawl out of the hole im in. I'll be fine but if anyone has a good show or movie recommendation i'd appreciate it cause i could use a distraction right now.

[radicalli57]

Your boyfriend/husband is no different from the males from 50 years ago in the west or the males in countries like Afghanistan.

If you pursue relationships with males, you are supporting every bit of oppression they ever placed upon us.

If you date males, you let them win.

You have the blood of every woman and girl who ever died or was abused by males on your hands.

Find your dignity.

[radlizbeth]

yeah this is a deliberate attempt to hurt the movement..... its like they asked chatgpt to write some rage bait that would cause the most infighting lol

[radicalli57]

Actually wrote it myself, but it’s true an unevolved woman like yourself wouldn’t be able to comprehend it.

[radlizbeth]

"its like they used chatgpt" versus "they used chatgpt" can u tell the difference? your tactics wont work on me cause i know who you are lol

[radicalli57]

Oooo do tell me who I am crystal ball

[radlizbeth]

stinky infiltrator

[radlizbeth]

butches can ofc date other butches, i just very rarely see people talk about being butch4butch, pretty much always butch4femme or femme4femme. so i don't call myself that because it feels useless.

and it would weird me out to see a bi woman calling herself butch because as far as i understand, butch and femme are at least supposed to be lesbian specific terms, and a bi woman is still not a lesbian when/if she only dates other women. does that make sense? i don't mean to come off angry or anything and i apologize if i did

ok thanks for explaining it for me. im not trying to stir shit im just trying to hear some perspectives. you can read my reply to the previous anon if you wanna know why im inquiring so hard lol. you don't need to apologize i know you're just answering a question i asked, which i appreciate.