radqueer vent place

[radq-ventplace]

A blog for radqueers to vent about whatever they'd like as long as they follow the proper rules.

1. Provide trigger warnings above the vent along with caution warnings. (If you don't, we'll add trigger warnings into the tags anyways, it's only recommended)

2. Do not name the individual if you're venting about someone. Call out posts are allowed with proof.

3. Do not discard others feelings on their own vent or your comment will be deleted or you will be blocked.

4. Discrimination isn't allowed of any kind.

[radq-ventplace]

Shit i genuinely forgot to send an ask.. uh, could my vent be deleted pretty please. I just saw that it was posted, and I'vesomewhat dealt with those feelings- crush anon.

Deleting now

[radq-ventplace]

Im in love with my best friend. I have been for 6 years. I can't love anyone else but prn. I have TRIED. I can't! I'm so desperately in love with prn and I can't tell prn. Not ever. We're exes. We are exes and prn will hate me

Youllhate ne if yoy ever find out. This su the only thing i feel guilt about. I love you and i onow ira a fucking horrid thing so j cant say it to your face, ill keep stalking your blog, ill keep mesaaging you trying to be a good friend and nothing more but know that i am hopelessly in love with you and have never gotten over you.

[radq-ventplace]

"Parasocial behavior and stalking is encouraged" and then they don't even fucking answer their asks.

Having BPD and experiencing limerence is fucking hell because this legitimately hurts. If they don't mean it then why can't they say it, or at least tell me to fuck off. Ugh. I'm so fucking,,, sad and annoyed.

It's probably better this way, though. Eventually I'll just block them and the obsession will fade.

[radq-ventplace]

[bigotry of all flavors]

I hate that everyone always talks about their anti-endo or anti-willo or anti-radqueer alters but no one ever talks about the alters who are transmedicalist. Who are homophobic. Who are racist. The alters you have to actively be aware of and keep from passively influencing you. It's such a struggle in our system and so few people ever talk about it that we feel evil for ever bringing it up.

[radq-ventplace]

I am speaking outside my normal context as to not give away my identity. I don't need people knowing that I have gone so below myself as to vent. I am a transgod, seeking people who want to follow me, yet I'm finding nobody. I feel lost.

[radq-ventplace]

cw anti-radqueer

This is random, but I want to code a userbox generator to my neocities. But it's all from the anti-radqueer side of the internet. So, if I do, I can't tell radqueer people they can use it, I can't use it myself either with radqueer stuff. I can't post about it at all.

Everyone on there, who's flags and terms I've compiled, have radqueer people in their DNI. I don't want to break it.

It sucks because it means, that work of mine is essentially tainted. I can never get it back, lest I disrespect their boundaries (and get a bunch of hate, somehow).

I want to add to it, because I still love that project of mine. I know I can do so much more with it.

I need to be more decisive.

How do you choose between being respectful, er, of people who don't want to respect you, and making pride flags and stuff? It's not even like I'm anti-lgbt or MOGAI now... I just also include other stuff, which is considered 'bigoted' by them.

I'm such a loser. I wish I wasn't put into this position. I wish there was a clear, morally right solution, that's kind to everyone.

[radq-ventplace]

"you deserve a life! go out and get one" says the person who has scheduled my life to where the only free time i have is between midnight and 6am

says the person who keeps adding on to my list when i get it done faster, im finishing it faster so i can try to have ANY time for me that isnt cutting in on my sleep! but no, because it didnt take me all day to clean the house this time, i also have to do the laundry and the dishes and the cooking!

i get that she is also disabled, that she is in a flair up, but i have been crying getting out of bed and its not like i can just say that? its not like i can talk about how the stairs feel dangerous to go up and down because i swear i am going to fall and i cant risk getting more hurt than i am! if i cant get out of bed and she cant get out of bed either then clearly this household of men will fall apart completely!!

im so fucking tired of oldest daughter syndrome, im so tired of being the third parent, i cant get out, i cant have time for me, i cant.. do anything i want...

even spending time with my friend is seen as a bad thing because im not working while im doing so (completely ignoring how 90% of us hanging out is them keeping me entertained while i am cleaning and working on the house)

[radq-ventplace]

Unsure what tws are needed.

I hate how jealous I've started to become over my partner and their kid. their kid prevents them from doing what they need (ex. sleeping).

Me and my partner tried matching one day and their kid got really upset over it to the point they wouldnt talk to us. That matching didn't even last a day.

It pisses me off.

[radq-ventplace]

i gen hate being treated as our bodily/chrono age so much, like no. we're ageless, but if i were to say that i am i'd probably get weird glances!! i hate going to school bro let me skip this fucking part of life why do i have to be a frontstuck host

[radq-ventplace]

Our period is like 38 days late and we've been like gaining weight, the hell do we do?? We don't remember doing anything with people and that's what makes it scarier, I don't know, I'm not used to periods being this late (especially due to us having time for them to become normal since we were *nine*). What do we do??

[radq-ventplace]

tw for csa mentions, no details!

With the release of the epstein files it's reaaally fucking annoying that people keep using the word "pedophile" when they mean "child abuser/molester". Like can we stop fucking doing this... I'm a MAP not a child abuser. It makes me feel so much shame inside when people are saying things like "kill all pedos!" when I'm one

[radq-ventplace]

tw/cw for potential transabelism(?)

i really wish i could be more inclusive and i dont outwardly say anything negative about transabled ppl but as a cisdisabled person i cant help but feel so violently uncomfortable when hearing someone say theyre trans- one of my disabilities, i honestly do want to be understanding and respectful and accepting of everyone and to some extent i do understand the perspective of a lot of transabled people but i really cant help how discomforting it is to know theres someone claiming to be transitioning to have something thats frankly ruined my life

it sucks too because i can never talk about this anywhere really, all the radqueers i know are totally ok and accepting of transabled people which is great but it means i cant rlly bring it up to them without them getting upset with me, and the only people i know that would kind of agree with me are anti-radqueers that would block me if i said i identify with any transIDs, its kinda isolating to have more complicated views and feelings on this stuff in such an all-or-nothing space

[radq-ventplace]

TWS ; Suicide related issues, The Legal System (Court, Cps, Hospitals), SA (COCSA etc) Mental Health issues, Neglect and Abuse ++ Drug abuse / Sh. I wish cps would stop coming and making everything horrid. how the fuck do they still look at me like i'm decent? They've seen me at my worst, they've seen me whilst i was abusing my prescriptions and self-harming. They've seen me while i was being accused of stuff that was done to ME. I wish people didnt assume im an awful person because i have paraphilias, and i wish it wasn't made worse by my old court issues. i wish, i wish i could live without having to have live-in aids or being constantly checked in on. i wish the hospitals questioned the head wounds, i wish they brought up my self harm in the ward. i wish ALL of the sa was thought to be real. i wish, they'd finally just let me die. instead of having to live disabled and in constant hell. I wish i didnt have to talk to my therapist about the grown man and that she'd listen to me about what i did to my sister after those kids touched me. I wish i was NORMAL. Or, that the fucking medically assisted suicide was finally here.

[radq-ventplace]

uh not a vent, just wondering, if you would change the CW/TWs to be uncensored? so like 'cw rape' instead 'cw r@p3' or anything like that... I think censoring makes it more difficult to read/use... but that's just my preference

We typically only do it so Tumblr doesn't come after us. Though, if they won't then we can change it

[radq-ventplace]

being pro-c is so isolating nobody understands me at all people would rather just call me a rapist

/ pt : radqueer vents, no dni, be kind : end pt /

[radq-ventplace]

Warning for implied(?) topics of mental illness, social inadequacy, venter being a bad person (probably)? brief mention of abuse

Sorry about the massive wall of text, I didn't think I had that much in my head until I'd typed it all out. (-_- ').

I find as I get older I'm getting worse and worse with social ability like communication, supporting others, and so on.

While I don't have empathy for anyone anymore, there are some I could say I care for out of selfish reasons, something about them I find enjoyable or entertaining so I want to keep them around and try to avoid hurting or upsetting or driving them away, there's only two people in this category though.

I don't care if I'm a good or bad person, I do horrible things to people who do not entertain me, I justify it by picking specific people to be horrible to, those who have abused me either over prolonged or shorter periods tend to end up who I take it out on, people like my "mother", or my "sister".

Honestly I don't want to be a good person. I want to be good enough for the two people I "care" for, as I know they deserve good things, but anytime they need someone to talk to I find I don't know anything about comforting others. I don't know how to make others happy or to make them feel better, the only thing I'm good for is seeing logic and being rational, but the moment it comes to actually comforting somebody it's almost like I'm a child, like I've never learned these things.

And if I can't comfort them with rationality, which is normally the case, after a while I'll end up frustrated or upset that they're upset and I just want them to stop being upset around me.

I don't want to be upset with them for it, but because of whatever's wrong in my head, I can't help it, I find myself irrationally mad at them because they sought me out for help.

All of my problems could easily be fixed if I had just a bit more money, I could move out and cut my "family" off, get therapy, probably get diagnosed or at least have someone willing to teach me how to be human, really, thinking about it all my problems come from the lack of money.

/ pt : radqueer vents, no dni, be kind : end pt /