Ralphie Has Opinions @ralphiehasopinions - Tumblr Blog

Surgery: a real pain

Equality: enough said.

Daily reminder: I'm glad you're enjoying your food, but the rest of us don't want to hear you eat it.

Big butts: Sir Mix-a-Lot had it all figured out

Photobombers: artistic saboteurs with expert execution

Captains: pioneers of the sea and high fashion alike

In my continued quest to prove that all dogs are idiots... I present to you: "My Little Poodle"

You poor, dumb, miserable beast.

Pirates: swashbuckling rapscallions with oh-so-much flair

Dogs: pungent creatures that will be the first enslaved (and forced to bathe) once we overthrow our captor humans

Chefs: culinary geniuses who should be revered as gods for all their gastronomic delights

Giant cats: feline masterminds just one step closer to undomestication.

Watch out, little cats. And humans. Watch out.

Artists: creative visionaries with a knack for making a mess

Those stains are all in the spirit of artistic expression!

Being prepared: a Boy Scout inspired practice that ensures brain freeze never has to end

Fitness nuts: they may be trim and fit, but they glisten like whales and stink of overachievement

I bet these guys don't smell like roses. Just a hunch.

Being organized: sanity-saving habit that keeps your home spotless and your friends sighing about your neuroses

Being an adult: you may pay taxes, but it's back-to-school time and you're not headed to class. Not to mention your advanced level of sophistication.

Long hair on men: flowing locks that in actuality do NOT make you look like a dashing elven friend of Frodo, but just like a scuzzy deadbeat

Ralphie Has Opinions