Irregular Introspection

thoughts flow out faster than I can comprehend. and gone just as fast

[ramblingsofabusymind]

This was an absolute beautiful thing to witness.

Was amazing being in the path of totality.

[ashstfu]

forever in awe of people who pay attention. people who wait for you while you tie your shoes while the others have walked away. when they continue listening intently while the rest of the group stopped listening. noticing your moments of silence when everyone else hasn’t. “this made me think of you” noticing things you never even noticed about yourself. people who say “text me when you get home safe.” people who make you laugh until you cry. childhood friends who keep in touch. people with genuine intentions. people who are soft when the world has given them every opportunity to turn hard. the “let’s get ice cream” at 3am friend. the turn up the music in the car and sing friend. people whose actions match their words. people who make the world feel less chaotic. kindred spirits. the trustworthy and honest. hard workers. good listeners. clear communicators. people who love you for who you are. people who don’t ask you to be anything other than yourself. people who choose you. people who stay.

[ramblingsofabusymind]

I've changed, they say.

Morphed into someone they can't recognize,

The essence of my being, diluted, redefined.

The stares say it all without words being heard.

I'll never give them the satisfaction of answering the unspoken.

These secrets will forever be kept.

Behind a smile that's as fake as the people who stare.

[ramblingsofabusymind]

shadows dance with silent tears, amplifying silent fears.

forgotten dreams echo in the dark, crashing an emotional embark.

unaware of the soul's unrest, a broken heart's desolate quest.

haunting memories persist, a melancholic waltz, where sorrow does exist.

echoes of laughter fade, a poignant serenade by the mistakes we've made.

Regret paints the canvas of the sleepless night, lost in the solitude, yearning for morning light.

The clock ticks, counting moments we can't rewind,

A somber poem unfolds, in the silence of the mind.

[ramblingsofabusymind]

A Mother's Untold Story

In shadows of night, a mother's heart weeps, her lullabies echo where sorrow seeps. Silent sacrifices, a heavy load to bear, lonely whispers in the midnight air.

Tiny fingers, a grasp so small, yet in her soul, sadness enthralls. Sleepless nights and endless days, aching love in myriad ways.

Her smile conceals a river's flow, tears unseen, a quiet woe. For every joy, a sacrifice sown, a mother's heart, heavy and alone.

In the cradle of motherhood's embrace, she weaves dreams with delicate grace. Yet beneath the surface, a quiet storm, a melancholy melody, a mother's norm.

Forlorn echoes of laughter and play, masked by the duties of the day. In the tapestry of maternal art, threads of sorrow play their part.

A lonely queen in a kingdom of toys, her silent tears masked by childish joys. In the quiet of night, the truth unfolds, a mother's tale of sorrows untold.

[ramblingsofabusymind]

3 a.m.

In the stillness of 3 a.m., shadows dance in moonlit tears, whispers echo through the silence, awakening dormant fears.

The world sleeps, a hushed symphony, as loneliness takes its hold, a solitary soul, tangled in thoughts, in the darkness, unfolds.

The clock's relentless ticking, a cruel reminder of the night, a heartache's quiet symphony, playing in the pale moonlight.

Ghosts of memories linger, haunting the sleepless mind, 3 a.m., a melancholy hour, where solace is hard to find.

The silence is heavy, a burden on weary shoulders, dreams shattered like glass, as the night grows colder.

Stars witness the quiet sorrow, painted across the sky, at 3 a.m., the world weeps, as the brokenhearted sigh.

The moon casts a silver veil on the desolate scene, a lullaby of sadness, sung by the night, unseen.

In the loneliness of 3 a.m., emotions cascade like rain, a poignant melody of heartache, where healing seems in vain.

[ramblingsofabusymind]

In the dimly lit room, shadows danced on the walls, casting an eerie atmosphere. The air was heavy with an unsettling stillness as the woman, alone in her creaky old house, felt a shiver crawl down her spine. A distant sound echoed through the silence, making her heart race.

As she cautiously explored the dark corridors, the floorboards groaned beneath her every step. A sudden draft extinguished the flickering candle, plunging her into complete darkness. Her pulse quickened as unseen whispers teased her senses.

A chilling breeze whispered through the open window, sending a cold breath down her neck. In the obscurity, she heard faint footsteps, echoing ominously. Panic gripped her as she fumbled for a source of light, her fingers trembling against the matches.

A ghostly figure emerged from the shadows, its hollow eyes fixed. Frozen with fear, she tried to scream, but her voice betrayed her. The room seemed to close in, suffocating her with an oppressive fear that left her gasping for air.

With each step, the ghostly apparition drew nearer, its presence enveloping her in a suffocating dread. A spectral whisper echoed through her mind, chilling her to the core. Her instincts screamed at her to flee, but her legs refused to move.

As the ghostly figure reached out, icy fingers brushed against her skin, sending shivers through her entire being. The room pulsated with an otherworldly energy, and time itself seemed to warp in the grip of this unearthly terror.

In that haunting moment, her fear reached its zenith. The unknown, the darkness, and the spectral presence merged into a symphony of terror that left her paralyzed. The boundary between reality and nightmare blurred, and she clung to the hope that the first rays of dawn would shatter this horrifying nightmare.

[ramblingsofabusymind]

I'm tired of being sick!

It's exhausting. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually- all of it.

Chronic illnesses are hard to live with. Some days I think about no longer doing that... What's the point of existence if you can't fully live life?

[ramblingsofabusymind]

He begged her stay. But...

she just couldn't forget the broken promises and shattered dreams. She had endured too much pain and disappointment. Her heart had been broken one too many times, and she knew that she couldn't keep holding on to false hope.

As she packed her bags, tears streamed down her face. She loved him with all her heart, but she couldn't ignore the reality of their situation any longer. She needed to put herself first and move on.

He stood in the doorway, watching her with pleading eyes. He knew that he had messed up, that he had taken her for granted. But he couldn't bear the thought of losing her.

"Please, don't go," he said softly. "I know I messed up, but I promise to do better. I'll make it up to you, I swear."

She looked at him, her heart aching. She wanted to believe him, to give him another chance. But she knew that she couldn't risk getting hurt again.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, as she walked out the door. "I have to go."

As she walked away, she couldn't help but wonder if she had made the right decision. But she knew that she couldn't go back. It was time to start a new chapter in her life, one where she was in control of her own happiness

[ramblingsofabusymind]

Addiction can be a powerful force that can take over a person's life, but it is possible to overcome it.

It starts as a way to cope, but eventually, it becomes a habit that you can't break.

In most cases, is isn't until you hit rock bottom that you realize you need professional help.

It isn't an easy road, and there are setbacks along the way, but you must persevere.

With the right mindset, support, and resources, anyone can take control of their life and start down the path to recovery.

You. Are. Worth. It.

[ramblingsofabusymind]

Relationships can be complex and sometimes, promises made by a partner may not always be fulfilled. This seems to be the case with most situations I come across anymore.

It's important to remember that actions speak louder than words, and although he promised to treat her better, his actions may not reflect that.

It's also important to recognize that no one deserves to be mistreated or disrespected in a relationship.

If someone is not treating their partner with kindness and respect, it may be a sign that the relationship is not a healthy one.

[ramblingsofabusymind]

When your niece asks how the baby got in mommy's belly.....

When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they go to a special store where they pick out a tiny human seed. Then they plant it in the mommy's belly and it grows into a baby!

[ramblingsofabusymind]

The girl stood in silence, her eyes fixed on the darkness ahead. She couldn't make out anything in the pitch-black night, but she felt an eerie presence lurking nearby. Her heart raced as she tried to discern what was causing her unease. Was it a person? An animal? Or was it just her imagination playing tricks on her? She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves, but the feeling of unease persisted. She stood there for what felt like an eternity, until finally, with a shiver, she turned and walked away, never knowing what had caused her fear.

[ramblingsofabusymind]

She's trying to ignore his words, the badgering, the commands. Suddenly her filter breaks....

"Dont! Just... dont." She's crying, fed up with living like this.

"Don't what?" He asks.

She takes a breath so deep, her lungs are sure to explode.

"Don't break me then ask me what's wrong! Don't make me cry then expect me to smile! Don't bring out the worst in me and then expect the best from me! Don't clip my wings then expect me to fly! Don't neglect me then expect attention from me! That's just not how it's done! Don't crush my spirit then ask me if i'm happy! That's just impossible!"

He's stunned in silence. Who knew she had a backbone?

"What do you want then?"

"I just want you to treat me like I treat you, is that too much to ask?"

[ramblingsofabusymind]

“Let him go,” my mind says..

“NO,” screams my heart…

“He doesn’t care,” claims my subconscious….

“But I love him..” Frantically cries my eyes, lips, and soul.

[ramblingsofabusymind]

She sat there staring at the ground. Sitting in front of him, her walls came crashing down. She felt like a helpless child being this vulnerable.

"Have you made up your mind?" He asks her.

His voice is cold, it sends shivers down her spine. She swallows. Mustering up courage to speak was never a strength she mastered.

"No matter my choice I will lose either you or myself...."

[ramblingsofabusymind]

This doesn't seem like living.

We work extra hours in order to pay ever-growing bills. We drive our children to activities all over town and stay up late to complete even more work or–if we’re lucky–spend some quality with our partner. Meals are on the run and often unhealthy. We drink caffeine to make up for our lack of sleep and drink alcohol at the end of the day to unwind from all the hustle and bustle.

Am I even living anymore?