i need to talk about it

ritual abuse venting / we don’t care if you believe us

[ramcoas]

this blog is essentially a diary. trigger warnings will not be provided. proceed with caution

[ramcoas]

Phone calls are getting less frequent, but i think thats making them scarier when they happen.

[ramcoas]

Today was good. Therapy tomorrow will be hard. I’m hoping for the best

[eclipse15]

Controversial RAMCOA opinions:

Programming cannot be done by one person, or even two or three people

Programming takes lots of dedication and many “techniques” (blegh) of programming actually requires more than one person even if it’s just being done in one event/moment.

It cannot be done unintentionally.

Literally how would somebody torture and/or drug you multiple times in a short period long term so that your mind and behaviors are severely warped…unintentionally? Makes no sense

It cannot be done once a week.

You can have failed/incomplete programming done that way but successful programming would not be able to have been successful if it happened once a week. I’m not saying you have to have grown up in a secular commune in a secluded forest owned by a cult that lived and breathed TBMC, but it had to have been frequent

Lots of people questioning RAMCOA do not have RAMCOA trauma, or if they do it’s not in the way they think

This is just from my interactions with the community but from what I see lots of people don’t really get what RAMCOA is and therefore cannot question it properly. That’s not their fault, it’s just not correct.

[ramcoas]

Hello, i would like to say now that a few people seem to have noticed this blog, while we are open to being social and friendly, we are not open to being friends. This is a matter of personal comfort - we are primarily anonymous on this blog and would like to keep it that way. We are not okay with people knowing our name or any other identifying details. Thank you for understanding.

[ramcoas]

So many bad days feel packed so closely together around this time. Halloween just happened, Christmas is around the corner. Thanksgiving is never pleasant. Old habits are returning. We aren’t eating nearly enough. We want to call our pastor.

[artisticdysfunction]

please, for fucks sake, do not try and Solve cases of ramcoa survivors when they are venting about their trauma. this isn't a true crime show, you are not a detective, and the legal system (at least in the USA) is not as fair and good as you think it is. if a survivor has not gone to the police, there is a fucking REASON. and you trying to get the police involved, will inevitably get that survivor involved as well! quite trying to be a white knight for strangers on the internet. cope in a different way.

[ramcoas]

Stop sharing the group(s) you were part of online. Stop sharing intimate details of your trauma online. Stop sharing names, dates, locations. For your own fucking safety.

This is not a game. I’m not saying dont consume information about ramcoa - i encourage you to do so in a manner that is safe - but you do need to understand that your personal safety, as well as the safety of others, is at risk when you start speaking about specifics on the internet. Talk with a therapist, write it in a diary if you have to, but PLEASE stop sharing these things on the internet.

[ramcoas]

I only hope that one day we’ll be able to speak up about what happened. Not only are we terrified, we do not know enough. We have not yet been able to piece enough memories together, we are cut off from access to the parts that hold the worst of the memories. We front people, using this to refer to those who consistently have access to the front, know only what we have been told. We do not have firsthand information, aside from the horrific flashbacks and body memories. It is impossible to speak on events for which you were not present, and unfortunately, most of us were not.

[ramcoas]

every time i try to write about a memory, i am punished. i hate this