[intersectionalpraxis]

"Here are your tortured poets. All from Mahmoud Darwish to Dr. Refat Alareer to Khaled Juma, these are tortured poets. Tortured by longing for a home they can never return to, tortured by the world they were born to for BEING BORN. Palestine, home to the tortured poets department." [@/folkoftheshelf on X. April 20th, 2024.]

[randoms0fmine]

Im starting to stress about having to do first year uni all over again. It was bad all over, academically and socially. Literally cried about it because im afraid it’ll happen again but its not gonna, now i know how to distance myself and put boundaries its gonna be alright, there will be more studying to do so no time for drama

[randoms0fmine]

I didnt make friends first year of uni. I felt like it was kind of my mum’s fault because she was scared i would end up alone, talked to my roomates then just shoved me into their friend group which turned out to be toxic, i had some difficulty confronting them about not being nice to me but eventually cut them off. But from the start i didnt feel like we clicked together as people , they had beliefs that i didnt agree with and vice versa. Now when i try to talk to her about it everyone makes me feel bad like im the bad guy.

[happyheidi]

a front row seat to nature with you ♡. x

[randoms0fmine]

I realised i dont like when people try to tell me what to do or try to force me to do things. It angers me for some reason. Especially when they keep pushing it.

[randoms0fmine]

Im great when it comes to the useless stuff. Im great at languages and learning them, good enough for the scientific subjects. Im great when it comes to literature and english, good enough for biology and chemistry. Im great when it comes to creativity, barely good enough for actual work. Im great at useless things but barely good enough for something actually important. I can talk for hours about poems and books and characters but i cant tell you any single useful information you might actually benefit from in real life.

[randoms0fmine]

My grandmother lived to a hundred. 100. A century. She died 2 years ago gonna be 3 in October. A hundred and 3 to be exact. A hundred and three years living on this earth. A hundred and three years breathing air, eating, drinking water, raising kids while being a kid herself, loving, hating, realising, grieving, losing, giving, receiving (although she didnt receive much love during her lifetime), learning, growing, evolving, cooking, cleaning, smelling but most importantly she knew and REALLY knew how to love. And now she’s gone.

I never expressed my gratitude or love for her. At least i dont remember i did. And if i did, i didnt do it enough. I hope she knows how much i loved her and what a light she was in our lives. Although she lived a hundred and three years, i didnt get to make enough memories with her. I hope you know how much you were loved, you were a literal angel on earth.

[randoms0fmine]

In 2 months i’ll be leaving for uni. Ive been waiting for this forever. I remember when a classmate said we have only 2 months left for school to be over forever. I graduated 16 days ago. 16. Im so scared yet thrilled for university. I hope its gonna go well. Im thinking about cutting my hair, its all the same length it has been like that since i was 11 and i feel i need a change so i might cut some long layers. We’ll see. I hope i never lose touch with 2 of my closest friends. Im starting to get sad over the people im never gonna talk to again, the ones i used to pass in the hallway or talked to cause we were the only ones in the cafeteria and found out by mistake they love reading too. I hope the boy who didnt speak unless spoken to will do fine and i hope he achieves whatever he wants to.

[jame7t]

Oh that social faux pas you committed? Nobody remembered that. Nobody remembered how you stuttered or went off topic or said something embarrassing. Well, nobody except the sorcerer who saw you do it. Yeah, he saw it. He cursed you to remembered to forever too. Yeah that’s the only reason why you still think about it. Kill the sorcerer to win.

[randoms0fmine]

Im obsessive. I dont just “like” something, i let it consume and devour me. I hyper-fixate on it. I let it be the reason for my being for some time until i find something else to obsess over. Im the physical embodiment of “i want to be great or nothing”. I dont know the color gray, its either white or black. Im either all in or all out. There’s mo other way, no other option. Because why go through all of that to just be mediocre. To not be special or remembered. Why just “like” it when you can know everything that is ever known and discovered about it? I want to be great or nothing.

[leonardospoetry]

I had this little mindshift the other day and decided to write this poem.

[randoms0fmine]

In love with carrie bradshaw <3

I started watching sex and the city like 4 days ago and ive been binge watching it im on season 4 episode 11 i think? LOVE HER

[randoms0fmine]

I am having trouble understanding the idea that time is irreversible. I will never be 13 again. 17 again, THAT WAS LAST YEAR. I will never experience summer the way i did when i was a child. I will never see the cat i had at 8 years old. This is it. I graduate in 2 months. In between now and then i have to study for upcoming exams and that’s it. High school is forever over.

[randoms0fmine]

Mum is thinking about selling our house. My childhood home. I leave in a few months to study at university abroad and the thought of never being able to come back to this sweet home terrifies me. How could she sell it when its walls have listened to the laughter of her children and their silent cries she never knew about? when the wooden tables have watched us grow up into teenagers and soon adults? when its floors felt our feet dancing during the summer ? When its furniture hold memories of all the pets throughout the years that laid on them? How can she throw all of that away?

[randoms0fmine]

New celebrity crush, it might be shocking

Young Al Pacino (preferably in the 70s)

Michael Corleone tho and Bobby deerfield and serpico THE MAN IS GORGEOUS especially those big doe eyes

[randoms0fmine]

Everyone around me is making me feel like im annoying and a burden and im starting to pull away from them. They interrupt me when im talking and it’s irritating. I dont share my interests with my older sister anymore and dont talk about the movie that i recently watched to my mum cause she’ll make me feel guilty for watching it than studying for an exam. I no longer play with makeup and show it to my friends, they only ever acted as if it’s interesting to make me shut up.

[brunasource]

BRUNA MARQUEZINE photographed by fernando tomaz for colcci