Random

🧍

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[24hrsoda]

sometimes my favorite bruce and alfred dynamic to imagine is one where they’re kind of mean to each other sometimes because they don’t know how to admit that they love and care about each other and also they’re kind of codependent

alfred gets frustrated with batman taking over bruce’s life because one of his biggest fears is losing bruce like he lost martha and thomas and failing them again by not being able to keep bruce safe if he dies as batman but he can’t just express his worry like a normal person and often times it comes off as scolding or he just outright makes his disapproval known.

bruce gets frustrated because alfred is judging him and scolding him and telling him that batman is ridiculous and that batman is going to get him killed but batman is all bruce wants in life. it’s his family’s legacy and alfred can’t see that because alfred made it clear they’re not family when he refuses to be the father figure 8 year old bruce needed!!

alfred who never wanted to be a father and ran from that responsibility despite taking guardianship of bruce and kept the boy at a distance a lot of the time and now when he shows concern it comes off as overbearing and judgemental and makes bruce tick

bruce who didn’t get much affection from alfred and has learned that getting under alfred’s skin is just as, if not more, effective at getting alfred’s attention and he exploits this like crazy because if alfred is glaring at him then he’s acknowledging him and he can’t ignore bruce’s mistakes like he so desperately tries to (because it reflects on him poorly if he acknowledges it….and it’s been like that for 20 years)

alfred who threatens to leave and bruce who snarks “take a severance check and go then” but alfred doesn’t actually want to leave because if he DOES who will be there to stop batman from totally consuming bruce??? and bruce knows he won’t leave and doesn’t want him to. but he knows it annoys alfred when he says that so he says it anyways.

bruce who tells alfred “you’re not my father” and alfred who says “i’m well aware” and sometimes “thank god” and even “no child of mine wouldve turn out like this.”

(and one time mid argument about how batman is overtaking bruce’s life, alfred had said in a moment of anger, “i’d trade places with him if it meant i didn’t have to deal with this” and bruce cried so hard he threw up not because of the mention of his late father, and not even because he was upset that alfred thinks he’s truly that insufferable. but because he cannot handle thinking about alfred dying. he never wants that. ever. top ten worst things that could happen.)

alfred and bruce who like to get deep under each other’s skins. embedded. they can’t so easily be shaken off or brushed away by one another. but also they’re all each other has in this world. somehow this is easier than saying “i care about you, you’re family, and i don’t want you to die. please don’t die.”

[cykelops]

I like when characters try to fix their problems with bad sex

[depsidase]

[haunted-hideaway]

I’m glad that OP:

1) Figured this out.

2) Shared so others can learn from their mistake.

[ghost-guard-13]

Idea for Coltland twins au...

This was Grace's final message to earth. To Stratt.

"I remember now, what you did to me." He gazed at the camera coldly, his eyes already wet with tears. "I remember you taking that choice away. I remember you killing me, Eva.

"And the worst part is is that you were right. I couldn't sabotage the mission. I had to help you, all of you, and it was the right thing to do. You were right.

"But I will never forgive you. You sent us up to die, and I had to wake up alone. I had to give my friends a funeral without even knowing who they were- who I was. I had to go through all of this alone before Rocky.

"I remembered something else though. Someone."

Glaring at the camera so fiercely, Grace spoke through the tears on his cheeks.

"Colt. My brother, my twin. You didn't even let me say goodbye. I don't know what he thought when he saw my name in the news- I don't know what you told the rest of earth, and I haven't spoken to him since two years before you found me, and that is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I needed to tell him I loved him, because the last thing I said was that I hated him. I hope you regret that too.

"You better be alive. Knowing you Stratt, you are. But Colt better be alive too. He better know that I didn't leave him willingly, that I wished you'd let me say goodbye, that I loved him. Colt needs to know that I had to fight, and that you're the one who did this to me.

"Show this to him, if you can. All of it. I have a message for him. If he died-" finally, his voice cracked, and his eyes squeezed shut as he scrubbed his face and pushed his glasses to his chin. "If Colt died, play it to his grave, and leave him sunflowers. Those were our favorite.

"I had a brother, Stratt. I didn't have a wife, or a dog, but I had my kids and I had my brother. You took that from me, and you took me from them.

"I want you to die knowing that I didn't. I want you to die knowing that I lived. I saved you despite it all, my best friend is an alien smarter than I'll ever be, and I never got to tell my family goodbye.

"Hell's coming back to you Stratt. In the form of me. I'm hell. You're welcome."

[walmartnoodle]

Some silly sketches of Simon adapting slowly to life on Erid. Don’t worry him and Rocky love playing around

[walmartnoodle]

Knifes aren’t allowed anymore after The Accident.

[medusadyke]

tumblr discourse after 13 years on this fucking website

[princessnijireiki]

[teaboot]

[iskander-tm]

Rocky's ptsd makes him stupid as hell, but no worries, Adrian would still listen and console to the best of their abilities

[universeleads]

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

[universeleads]

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

[overwhelmedfernfrond]

I explained the “x before gta6” meme to my immigrant father and he, in turn, explained to me how back in his day in Romania, they had the same type of joke, except instead of it being gta6, it was about the imminent death of a singer named Gică Petrescu, who everyone was continuously shocked by because he refused to die. Every time a momentous event happened people would say, in essence: “This happened and Gică Petrescu hasn’t even died yet?!?”

So. He understood the gta6 meme immediately because they apparently had the same thing in Romania when he was young, except way, way more morbid

[venort]

OP are you telling me we got the death of Gică Petrescu before we got gta6

[howling-wizard2]

he's just so shy~~~

[yo-its-matt]

anyway the “nice cock jason” tiktok is playing in my head at all times on repeat indefinitely

[inthefallofasparrow]

Page of Wands

[dragon-in-a-fez]

actual image I have just seen on an actual website attempting to sell travel packages. welcome to our plane where there's no aisle so you have to climb over seats if you're not in the first row. the pilot has no legs and is joined to one of the passengers at the wrist.

[smol-ghosts]

They’re stupid your honor

[mousegirlheart]

Visit Original Link

[treasuredplanet]

in hindsight sending the number one digit at a time created the funniest half second of either of our lives

[angry-eevee]

when people defend the “Cis white guy is default” thing like “He’s meant to be an everyman we can all relate to and project on!” kindly remind them the largest ethnic group in the WORLD is Han Chinese and the highest gender percentage fluctuates so if you want an ACTUAL  “default” you want a 40 year old chinese person whose gender changes from year to year.  

[galren]

#give us the middle-aged gender fluid Chinese protagonist that we can all relate to and project on (via @mr-and-mr-pavus)

[computationalcalculator]