@rapierdota - Tumblr Blog

about

23, polish (white) and german (still white)

art-blog: @emlos-art

im actually venty and annoying and not rly posting much of quality, dont follow me lmfao

links:

my website, artfight, my ko-fi

#hello pinned post #tags:#text #mecore #announcement baby!#DONT RBLOG #i block whever i want fyi #somethimes its personnel kid #update #ask #my art #rgu #fave

or not

tatzelwurming

i took a drug test and tested positive for hummus #fuck

temporary-gentleman

CASE NO. 001847 (in which the Bachelor lost track of time)

i think i have like 20% more energy now. its not perfect, but the wave of "everything is so exhausting" is lower

#hm. i think i might actually have depression

dykeovsky

[Image description: A digital painting of Eva Yan and Daniil Dankovsky from Pathologic. They are sitting on a bed together. Eva is curled up while holding Daniil's face, and holds her head close to his as if leaning in for a kiss. Daniil is laying down in her lap, smiling, holding one of her legs. End description.]

ive been indulging in my worst habits

rapierdota

zoloft check in: cant get off

rapierdota

zoloft check in: i bent my body to my will. not that good feeling eugh

applerums

annoying

having anxiety and being with someone whos sometimes easily triggered is actually great for weightloss

#not to be too disordered but damn #fast day!#im happy when i dont have to fight my apetite my stomach is so tense i cant think about food #the zoloft is helping though its tense but not bad

came up with a new way to kill myself on the walk

#this one is actually feasible i think #i dont want to ill myself now but always good to have things like that in my backpocket #im exhausted from the lack of sleep anyway #do you think i have depression and the zoloft will kick in?#i hope so #im tired of being useless

zoloft check in: cant get off

#also the jitters and the congestion eugh #neverending acid come up highkey

the earth opened

i dont understand why me hating myself affects other people. im kind, im nice, im willing to help. im willing to understand. the fact that i feel like im majorly worthless and invite suffering to have meaning shouldnt affect anyone.

#first melody now ema #i dont know what to do #im okay!#im on zoloft now! again!#im just. i dont mind bad things happening to me #on an outside level not inside level i mean #inside bad things make me want to kill myself #but outside... outside it proves i matter #it proves that i have some value to someone else #if someone wants something of me even not good... i like that #i wish i was beaten fr fr as a child not just spanked and hit there and there #i wish i got into a real accident #i want everything bad to happen to me and none to those i love #which is two people currently #the love of my life and my sister #everyone should get what they want #and i want bad things #god. so fucking selfish

kkyos

pfp commission with Danya

jacqal

been watching the wife play #Pathologic #Three: The Bachelor Pad™ for PC. very diverting stuff

in the us again! crazy how awful of a person i am

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