((My heart longs for the platonic "I love you." Because it's so hard for Ruby to say. She hesitates. She chokes on it. She wonders if she should say it or if the other person merely puts up with her because they happen to be in proximity. Even if they've noticeably gone out of their way to help her. The only people she believes loved her unconditionally were her father, who she doesn't want to confront because she thinks he must be ashamed of her, and the one remaining member of her junior squad who's stood by her side for years, but is often not with her because of the nature of her work.))
"You don't seem particularly trusting." Mizuki commented, mildly curious gaze settling on Ruby, only to shrug, as if to brush the matter off as something not to be made a big deal out of. "Then again, maybe neither am I."
"Just taking note," she replied, instrument still resting on her lap, the case open at her feet with a few paper notes and a lot of change inside. "Big city. People pass by, don't see them again. Can't a girl question it a bit when she sees the same face repeatedly?"
The wall behind her was uncomfortable, but dragging a chair out here was more trouble than she cared to go through. She set the guitar in its case and stretched the tension out of her spine.
He was hard to miss. It was the hat. She could see that thing coming her way from a mile off. The past few times he'd walked past her usual busking spot, she'd had to reign in the urge to ask him what was up with that thing.
“it's a little strange. i think i've started looking forward to seeing you.” //Jon
She glanced up at him from across the desk. He'd seemed a bit more open lately. She couldn't deny that she preferred him that way, easier to read, sincere when it mattered. Probably a good thing because considering the number of things she refused to expound upon, she didn't see her required attendance here absolving itself any time soon.
And yet those words didn't give her the pause they once would have. At least, not in the same way. She had been getting better under his guidance, despite him having to maneuver his way around the myriad of topics that made her clam up on him. In that, there was some small kind of hope.
"Probably a good thing," she replied. "I don't think my uncle is going to let me off the hook coming here any time soon, so being liked can only help."
She gestured to the container in front of her, which contained a generous slice of homemade pie.
“you're surprisingly good company :/sclfmastery (Dhawan)
"Surprisingly?" she asked, tilting her head towards him like a lazy cat as she reclined in her seat. "Did you really think I'd changed that much since...yester-you?"
She'd be lying if she'd said him coming back as someone different wasn't jarring. He came with a whole new set of mannerisms to acclimate herself to. But home was home, and he still wanted her here. Besides, where else was she going to go?
((I meant to answer things, but I was just trying to stay awake to fix my sleep schedule. I think I borked it even more, because it's currently 8:05 a.m. and I'm just now dog tired enough to pass out. I don't think I'm going to make it to bedtime. I think the crash is upon me. My energy drink has left my system. Good night. Good morning.))
((Gonna try to reply to some things today. Thanks to everyone who sent an ask or has a thread with me! I feel like I have more consistent partners than I've ever had, and it's wild, but fun.))
Do you carry any good luck charms/talismans on you? How did you get them if so?
What deities do you worship (if any)? Can you talk about how you connected with them?
Is there anywhere spiritually significant to you that you'd want to visit someday?
MUNDAY WITCHY ASKS
Do you carry any good luck charms/talismans on you? How did you get them if so?
I tend to treat my devotional jewelry as my talismans. The pieces make me feel closer with the associated Gods. A physical reminder that they're with me makes me feel much safer and more comfortable.
My class ring is for Prometheus. I have another ring for Poseidon, bracelets for Manannan and Loki, and my necklace is for Kronos. I tend to go by vibe, so I haven't found anything that strikes me for Stolas or Hermes yet, but I feel like I'm going to look into a necklace for Hermes and a ring for Stolas.
I didn't use to wear them all every day, but when I was going through a rough patch at my last job, Loki was there for me a lot, so I started wearing his bracelet to calm me down. Then I just started wearing all of it daily because it made me feel safe.
What deities do you worship? Can you talk about how you connected to them?
The first deity I ever connected with was Prometheus. I'd was just dipping my foot in, and I thought of several deities that I thought would be cool to worship, but every time I wanted to reach out, I chickened out. Ironically, both of those deities are currently in my personal pantheon, so they found their way around to me eventually once I was more comfortable.
I didn't even realize that Prometheus was an option at first, but I fell in love with the character while playing Hades 2, and I began doing research into him as a figure in mythology. Then I found a scattered few others who worshipped him, and it all came together.
I work with Prometheus mostly in artistic endeavors and with divination. He's the God of Forethought, and a prophet in his own right, so he's guided my hand quite a bit in my understanding of my cards in specific. His favorite card to give me is the three of pentacles, often as a way to remind me to evaluate my emotional state to foster better communication. He has a good sense of humor, and will often give me readings that seem contrary to what they're actually saying to prove a point. I think he likes watching me think and try to puzzle out his messages.
Kronos was the second, and the only God in my personal pantheon who actually approached me first. I woke up one morning with his name repeating in my head, no dream connecting it to anything, just that. Spent a few days waffling about whether or not it was something I wanted, then took to the cards to ask if he was present. Immediately, the Knight of Pentacles, the only card with a tilled field baked into a good portion of its meaning, flew out of my hand.
He's the quietest of my pantheon, but that first meeting made it clear that he was VERY capable of being present and known if he wanted to be. He reminds me of my grandfather in a way. Quiet guy, ran his own farm, cared for his patch of earth with his own two hands, but if he had something to say, you'd better listen.
Loki initially soft-rejected me. I contacted him with an interest, and he basically said, "Not yet. You've gotta do something first." The day after my graduation, I felt a very distinct energy. I got in the shower, and kind of half-joking, I said, "If that's Loki and it's time, show me the spider." I shit you not, I turned around, and the shower spider was dangling in front of my face.
I'm ashamed to admit that I went through a bit of a paranoid phase with him, wondering how much I could trust him even though I wanted this. The answer is 99% and the remaining 1% is actually just a prank. He was my unexpected rock when I was working under a horrible micromanager. He communicated to me repeatedly that I should not quit that job. And he was correct, because if I'd quit when I initially wanted to, I would not have the money I have to pay off my student debt while I look for another job. Also it made me about 20% less tolerant of people's bullshit, which is probably what he wanted for my doormat ass.
Manannan was approached on a whim. I'd been looking into Irish deities, because I wanted to get more in touch with my heritage, and I thought that fostering a connection with one of my ancestor's Gods would be a great way to get in touch with that. I went to meditate and see if I could call out for him, and I remember this very specific sensation. It was like when you're with a gathering of people, but you don't really know anyone, and then the host who knows everyone turns and notices you and brings you in. I just felt that moment when he turned and saw me and went "oh, you're new."
He's been one of my more protective deities. I very vividly remembering an instant where I woke up in the middle of the night with the feeling that someone was standing near the foot of my bed, facing out into the room in that kind of arms-crossed "you aren't welcome here" kind of way. Felt like him, so I asked "should I be concerned?" And immediately went from wide awake to more relaxed than I've ever been in my life. Fell asleep almost instantly, and it usually takes me at least 45 minutes to drift off. No idea why he was on guard, but I believe it that he took care of it.
Stolas was one of the more consistently vocal spirits from the beginning. The night after I first offered to him, I had a dream that indicated a barrier in communication. So I made an effort to try and deprogram some of that Christian indoctrination that you inevitably gather if you live in the southern U.S., even if you aren't Christian. Still working on that, but he's with me for it. After that, I had a dream that I had to leave my phone somewhere for repairs and I was like "what will I do without my phone???" In the dream I went for a walk. Woke up, asked if he was telling me to touch grass, told him that if it wasn't too cold, I'd try to go out tomorrow. The next night, my charging brick fell out of the wall and my phone died in the night. I went for a walk.
Hermes is a recent addition to the altar, but not a stranger to me. I prayed to him once when I was trying to find a job, immediately felt bad because I didn't worship him, apologized for coming to him asking for favors and said "never mind." The next day, I got callbacks from two places I interviewed for two part time jobs.
After that, I gave him food offerings every once in a while during meals, and it finally just seemed right that he should be there. His candle smells like ice cream bars, and I get a very distinct impression that he loves it.
Poseidon is the most recent. He was one of the two deities I wanted to reach out to years ago and chickened out. I'm still kind of getting to know him, so I don't have any experiences to lay out other than that he picked out his own candle while I was shopping. Just the craziest, most undeniable compulsion that this specific candle was the one. Which was funny in a way, because Manannan also has a strong preference for a certain candle, so there are two sea gods with strong preferences for different sea-scented candles.
Is there anywhere spiritually significant that you'd like to visit some day?
Absolutely! Prometheus' only known temple is a small temple in Athens that he shares with Athena and Hephaestus. That's at the top of my list for sure.
The Isle of Man is second, named for Manannan and known for the seals, which are sacred to him.
What does someone have to do to earn an instant unfollow from you?
It's pretty hard to get me to unfollow if we actually write together. Usually my reason for unfollowing is as simple as "they didn't follow me back and I assumed they weren't interested."
However, something that would make me instantly break mutuals is if I found out that a partner harassed people for the topics they write. I stand by the fact that everyone is entitled to their own space and can block and curate it as they will. There are topics that I don't want to read or write about either. But when we start crossing a line into "I heard they wrote about xyz once and so they're basically a criminal" or the ever-present "if you rp in x fandom, I think you should literally die bc it's problematic," that's where I hit unfollow.
I don't trust people who refuse to curate their own spaces and expect people to censor themselves for their sake. I find that in the over a decade that I've been rping, these people often are not mature enough to engage with long-term writing partners. Which is why everything on my blog is tagged, so my partners can curate their feeds, but I don't have to censor what I write about.
How long do you stay mad?
It depends on what was done. Most things can be talked out and I'll be fine after that for the most part. However, there have been partners who have done some horrendous things to me that I've had to spend years working to get over. I can count them on one hand. They were all part of the same group during the same period of time, and I no longer associate with those people in any capacity for obvious reasons. You would definitely have to consciously make effort to be malicious to rise to that level though.
Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction?
I personally practice it because if it's on my dash, it belongs to someone I have an interest in rping with. I don't really view it as forced interaction because reblogging it from the source is a workaround to that. For the most part, I just don't like memes being reblogged from me because I get excited to read a reply, and it turns out to be a meme reblog. I'll usually still reblog from the source even if I send someone something so it doesn't clutter their notes.
Because, like it or not, we're not all balls of sunshine all the time. We can be pure salt when we want to be.
☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?
♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?
♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise?
♢ Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz
♚ How many people don't like you?
⚜ How many people do you not like?
✮ Have you managed to stay away from drama?
☄ Have you ever been in the middle of drama?
☯ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?
☼ How long do you stay mad?
☀ What's your rp pet peeve?
☁ Have you ever forgiven a partner when you shouldn't have?
☂ Have you ever been forgiven when you knew you shouldn't have been?
☢ What fads/trends are you so over?
☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?
♨ Have you ever made a public call out post?
❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?
✿ What do you think about public call out posts?
✂ A fandom that you feel isn't open and accepting?
✉ A fandom that you feel is open and accepting?
✦ Thoughts on duplicates following you?
✧ Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction?
❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?
❦ Has someone been jealous of you?
❧ Have you ever been jealous of anyone?
✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?
♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?
@shouga-nai I think about the fact that this exists a lot, because the monks wanted to make sure human visitors were accommodated to the point that they set up a restaurant. I feel like Ruby hangs out there a lot and might even offer to help out there once she's feeling some better bc she has a compulsive need to feel useful.
((I am genuinely so tired of trying to explain to grown-ass adults that no, they cannot report fictional material to abuse tiplines because no real abuse took place. I'm tired of explaining that hounding people who write certain topics makes victims feel forced to come out as survivors because people demand proof that they're "allowed" to write about something. Genuinely, criticise whatever you want and support or don't support whoever you want, but nobody owes you proof of their victimhood over what they choose to explore in fiction.
Note that this is not anti-criticism. Criticism is great. Criticism is healthy. This is anti "I think the topic you write about is gross on a kneejerk reaction, and I refuse to look beyond my own discomfort to understand what the work or author is actually saying."))
She had noticed the observation. Or at least, she thought she had. Staying alive in this, or any, world was only aided by vigilance. Still, sometimes she wondered if she was growing too paranoid, imagining lingering eyes where there were none, growing suspicious of those who had no ill intent. It would just be one step closer to insanity, wouldn't it? To perceive everyone to be staring at you. The thought almost made her want to laugh. Bitter. Humorless. Going insane would be a fitting ending to all of this.
Still, regardless of what was reality and what was merely the workings of paranoia, he had made no move towards hostility. Neither had any of his brothers in this place. She would offer the same in kind.
"As well as it can," she replied, eyes wandering him.
Now who was staring? She quickly snapped her gaze to the plants nearby. She should have been used to oddities by now, yet still, when she saw something so foreign to her own world, it still drew her in more than she should allow it to.
Her voice was what one would have expected from someone of her age and size, laced with a thick accent from the southern United States.
"I won't put y'all out for too much longer if I can help it," she said.
He'll take that vague response, expecting that to be the end of the conversation, particularly when he caught the way she was eyeing him. Unlike her, he did not shift his gaze, as if trying to read her. Then she spoke once more, finally prompting him to let his gaze wander before unwanted thoughts would have a chance to develop.
My presence is found abhorrent - a part of him concluded; the logical part that formed assumptions based on observations made of the humans around him as of late. She might have recognized his model, though it's fairly hard to tell for certain. But Ramattra failed to see any other reason why their guest would feel the need to make her stay as short as possible given her condition.
"The mountain terrain and weather conditions are nothing to scoff at. Venturing out haphazardly even at optimum health poses a deadly risk. As things stand, you will not last."
That might come off harsh and cold, a tone unbefitting of a monk, one could also interpret it as the Omnic's way of warning and expressing concern for the recovering traveler's safety. Or, was it concern for the monastery's image and nothing more? He could only imagine the kind of talk that would spread if the one human under the monks' care ended up perishing...
A pause, and what sounded like a low, drawn out sigh left him. What was he saying?
"...Do you... have somewhere to be?" A destination she needed to reach, a place to return to-
His tone was quieter now, in an attempt to correct himself and salvage what's even left of this interaction. Perhaps trying to understand where she's coming from would prove helpful, at the very least.
The part of her that was used to having to be bigger than she was bristled at the way he said it. It was the nature of things that were used to being small to ruffle their fur and arch their backs. Then logic caught up. She looked back at him, trying to remind herself that looking at people while speaking to them was polite.
It wasn't staring. She wasn't staring.
It snowed up here, so high in the mountains, even now in the late spring. Had she not stumbled up that path only a few days ago, arriving at their door shaking, arms crossed over herself, a hair away from collapse between the cold and her injuries. She hadn't realized how pleasant numb was until she'd taken her boots off and felt the stiff muscle protest against the friction.
She wouldn't last. Meaning she would have to be an inconvenience for these people for much longer than she'd have liked.
"A few miles south," she replied. "Not home or anything, just..."
She paused. What did she even call what she did without raising questions? This was why she hated talking about herself.
"...just a responsibility, I guess. Don't stay in one place for too long."
She wished she could read anything from him. Was his posture unease or just the way his body was built? His expression didn't change. Only the tone of his voice gave her some indication of what an appropriate response might be. It wasn't unique to him. It was difficult for her to read any of the monks before they spoke to her.
"I'm sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable?" She asked. "I don't think I've spoken to so many people in...No, I don't remember actually."
Be a little honest. Be disarming. If she'd offended him in some way, make up for it. This was his home, and she was just staying in it.
I do not wish to write with people who actively use Generative AI.
If you write with me, you won't ever have to fear any AI being used to doing my replies for you. I will not feed your writing to ChatGPT and the like, and I would appreciate it if you don't feed my writing to any kind of Generative AI either. You do not have my consent to do so.
If I reblog AI images/text or use images for aesthetics/graphics that were originally generated without realizing, please let me know. Generative AI images have infiltrated Pinterest and other sites so much, it can be hard to tell sometimes.
