Slightly Raspberry Flavored

f/41 minors dnf as i dont tag things

[destiny-islanders]

he wants to be cool too

[kaity--did]

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

[kaity--did]

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

[kaity--did]

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

[kaity--did]

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

????

[kaity--did]

Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave

Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!

[kaity--did]

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

[justplainsalty]

I have follow up questions:

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?

[kaity--did]

I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂

[kaity--did]

Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times

[mentalhealthnut]

1) My dad was also like this with me. Best example - reading a manual for a washing machine to me as an infant. Didn't turn into a Deals Warlock, but I did become a writer, so make of that what you will.

2) If you are the type of person who counts how many questions your child asks you in a day, and didn't give up after like ten of 'em, *and* potentially did so more than once (you said she "averages" at 892, meaning you might have gotten your data from at least two days)... then I think she is Like That because of both sides of her family, actually

[kaity--did]

[gojinka]

This post is so funny like comment subscribe if you picture your favs bloodied and coughing on the floor and flinching

[cacodaemonia]

lol this person needs to read Vulture's David Cronenberg interview from a few years ago (it's paywalled, but you can access it through archive.ph here)

Louder for the people in the back:

... you cannot tell what an artist is going to be like personally from being very familiar with their art.

(incidentally, this article also talks about his film Crimes of the Future, which was super weird and which I really loved)

[roaldamundsen]

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

[roaldamundsen]

?

[roaldamundsen]

can people stop saying insane things on this post

[rodrickheffeley]

women stories matter

[sixty-silver-wishes]

happy pride month to the fuck tree I guess

[teaspoon-of-stars]

Theres the lil thang

[iwantwings44]

[treecitysessions]

Text I got from my guy friend who’s currently dating a man for the first time when I asked him how it’s going

[treecitysessions]

I heavily fw bro

[systlin]

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

[ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis]

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

[systlin]

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

[systlin]

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.

[orteil42]

how does something like Pokemon evolve over thousands of years? once the construct of capitalism wears off, what's left of an omnipresent world-spanning franchise? personally i think it's gonna get religious. it's gonna get syncretic

[chongoblog]

The medieval times had dragons. We also have dragons, we just want to fuck them

[black-sasuke]

Can anyone help me eat today pregnant black woman currently really struggling with the day to day

$Hopesoda

Venmo: Hope-soda

PayPal: [email protected]

[black-sasuke]

Could use help still today is Monday I have a job interview on wed

[black-sasuke]

I’m really struggling still my will to live is at an all time low I have no support nothing going on and no motivation I appreciate all the help so far it’s July 16th words of encouragement are also welcome

[fishtax]

He was surprisingly chill ab being rejected

[batmanbeyondrocks]

Black Menswear modelled by Black Men

Creative Director Rock Mitchell

[kowabungadoodles]

[headspace-hotel]

The dude in bright orange with the orange umbrella that looks like a peacocks tail.... FAVE

[radioactive-leopard]

Something by I love about Black Menswear is how they’re not afraid of color and personality. It’s not just the same boring black or blue suit jacket every time. It’s also just very dapper.

[headspace-hotel]

YESSS i especially love the florals...

[parkchanwoohoo]

if u get second job i'll you

YOU'LL ME??

[integrityflower]

[renewashere]

a flower, a jack of spades, a laptop and a CRT TV lay at a bar...

(tiny doodle comic)