Idk why I decided to make this more painful heartbreak than angst, but here we are.
“I don’t love you anymore.”
Dane sat at the edge of the bed, Max a few feet away from him. He gripped the sheets and breathed slowly, trying to control the tears forming in his eyes. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but what was he expecting? Lengthy phone calls became ignored text messages, late night cuddles became sleeping with their backs turned, rushing home to see each other became late work days to avoid confrontation- the spark was gone, and they both knew it. Why fight for something nobody wanted? They’ve lived separate lives for months, Max basically spent half the week at Kevin’s house, but neither of them wanted to admit it until now. Dane waited for Max to come home late to rip the band-aid and finally end their sufferings.
“Just say it.” Max broke the silence, staring at the floor so he wouldn’t see him cry. “Please, just say it.”
Dane bit his lips harshly and tilted his head so the tears wouldn’t fall, because he knew when they started, they wouldn’t stop.
“I don’t...” He couldn’t force the words out if he tried. How can he look his fiancé in the eye and tell him “I don’t love you anymore”?
“Come on, Dane. Who are we fooling?” Max moved closer to him, shoulders touching. “We deserve better than this.”
It was torture coming home every day knowing their worlds were falling apart and all they could do is watch, hoping the pain would end soon. Max was right, they didn’t deserve this.
Dane shook his head, finally finding the right words.
“I can’t even fathom life without you. I fucking hate that I want to give you everything I have and just...can’t.” His head fell to his hands in frustration before his tears followed. “I don’t know what I want, but it’s not this,” he whimpered.
Max nodded and rubbed his back, a lump in his throat forming as his eyes became glossy.
“You know,” Max sniffled, “I hate myself for letting it get to this.”
“We both did,” Dane said, raising his head and meeting Max’s eyes for the first time. They were puffy and red, dark circles glistening from the tears wiped away. His weak smile felt like a shot in Max’s chest.
He’d had been fidgeting with his engagement ring the entire night, twisting it around and moving it between knuckles. The day Dane proposed was a disaster. It stormed all day, ruining their plans to visit Volunteer Park, Max got food poisoning from the restaurant they went to for his mother’s birthday, and Dane lost his wallet in the cab on the way back to the hotel. But he kept the ring in his pocket, hoping the right time would come. Apparently, it was right after Dane tripped on the sidewalk, tearing a hole in his pants, and just getting up on one knee with the tiny box that broke on impact. Max fell to him and sobbed, several people across the street cheering as they sealed the moment with a kiss before trying to find a drugstore to buy band-aids and a mini sewing kit.
In one swift motion, the ring came off Max’s finger. He felt naked staring at his hand, a pink mark on his skin where it once sat for a year.
“I don’t think I can love anyone else,” he said as he put the ring in Dane’s hand and closed his fingers around it, “but this isn’t our time. And I don’t know when it will be, but I’ll be here, waiting for you.”
He kissed Dane on the cheek and stood up, walking out with one last glance at his ex-lover from the doorway. Dane sat in silence, clutching the ring with nearly white knuckles for several minutes. He knew the ring belonged to no one else but Max, but not now.
It wasn’t the right time.
