Rat Librarian

Just a Rat. Likes Books. Cheese?

[ratlibrarian]

I love how Morrowind has sparked such a wide spread of enjoyment and different areas of enjoyment:

There're shippers, who draw and write the most beautiful, (and the horniest) creative works imaginable, to enjoy Morrowind as a Canvas.

There're ultra-gamers, who find new, challenging, or exploitative ways to use the game mechanics to find new ways of enjoying Morrowind as a Game.

There're also loremasters and roleplayers, who use what has been written and expanded upon (in e.g. Tamriel Rebuilt) to find ways to enjoy Morrowind as a Setting.

I love all aspects of Morrowind and its fandom. Because, while I start another RP-playthrough, I can listen to Just Background Noise (check him out on youtube for challenge runs!) play Morrowind, and take breaks while scrolling some heartwarming Voryn/Nerevar art on tumblr, (and some toe-curling fanfics on AO3).

I love Morrowind.

[ratlibrarian]

One of the greatest paragraphs in the LOTR trilogy is, in my opinion;

"Merry himself felt as if a great weight of horror and doubt had settled on him. His heart beat slowly. Time seemed poised in uncertainty. They were too late! Too late was worse than never!"

It gives off such a guttural feeling: too late IS worse than never, for if some salvation never comes, the saviors need not feel that they have failed: if they come too late, then they must witness their failure first-hand.

Yet it reminded me, as I was re-reading the books, of some other quote I had read or heard, and lo;

"The history of failure in war can almost be summed up in two words: 'Too late.' Too late in comprehending the deadly purpose of a potential enemy; too late in realizing the mortal danger; too late in preparedness; too late in uniting all possible forces for resistance, too late in standing with one's friends." - Douglas MacArthur, 1940, as quoted by James B. Reston in Prelude to Victory (1942).

Now, Douglas MacArthur was a terrible, horrible person. An absolute war-hawk, with an overinflated sense of self, and an impenetrable bubble of self-aggrandizement. Yet he managed to reach the very same conclusion as Tolkien did.

I think this is, partially, because of their shared background. Both men served in ww1. Both men saw the horrors of war, first-hand. And, here I'm speculating, they both saw the aftermath of being "too-late".

Too late IS worse than never.

[ratlibrarian]

When considering the player-NPC-worldbuilding interactions in the Elder Scrolls games, I feel like there's a rather clear-cut series of steps toward "the Hero of Everything who is Awesome and Unique".

In Arena, the player character is "chosen" for the main quest because they were so unimportant in Tharn's claculations that he doesn't even kill you.

In Daggerfall, you are an agent of the Emperor. Not a messianic hero, chosen by prophecy, but a handy associate who can be trusted to keep a secret.

Sure, Morrowind has the Nerevarine and associated prophecies, but you're actively told to question them, and shown, through the failed incarnates, that you are not the only possible hero. Also, there are living gods, crazed wizards of an age with those gods, and other mythical, legendary NPCs of immeasurable power.

In Oblivion, the HoK is closer to a mythical hero, but truly Martin takes that throne. But, if considering the DLCs, the player character becomes, at once, an embodiment of Lorkhan (by mantling Pelinal, a Shezarrine) and a Daedric Prince.

And then, Skyrim tops them all (imo) by rewriting and retconning existing lore, and writing new lore, so that the Last Dragonborn is a once-in-an-era hero with the Aedric soul of a dragon, destined to defeat the very embodiment of the cyclical destruction of the world, and being somewhere between an immortal dragon, and a mortal adventurer.

The differences are stark; and I am not able, nor willing, to call one "objectively better" than another. I have a preference for Morrowind, where the Nerevarine starts out as a gopher, fetching knick-knacks and doo-dads for this or that faction, and slowly develops into a mythical reincarnation of an ancient hero.

(Also, the fact that while Nerevar was an admired hero, he was not a god, daedra, aedra, et'ada, nor ehlnofey, but a mere mer, makes the player's association with him feel less "special", in contrast to e.g. the Last Dragonborn's hand-waved "Aedric Soul of a dragon in this random kleptomaniac khajiit crossing the border at a seriously inopportune time while trying to hawk diluted skooma")

BUT! I still love Skyrim, and Oblivion, and Daggerfall, and I (conceptually, from a distance and through the lovingly crafted uesp) also love Arena. There's an endless amount of roleplaying possibilities in these games, and making one's own story is not just an option, but is, in my opinion, the greatest draw these games have.

soooooooo...

is this one interested in...

skooma?

Ra'Libra sells only the most pure wares in all Skyrim...

[ratlibrarian]

I think of the LOTR trilogy, from the public perspective as it was published, is a legendary epic, steeped in the worldview of a religious, British, veteran of the Great War, who just wanted to translate epic poetry, study languages and construct new ones.

But that perspective is not the common perspective today. From what I've seen, perspectives range from "the origin of modern fantasy" to "a queerplatonic love story between a doomed hero and his gardener".

But I want to consider another (unoriginal) perspective: that of the mythic view of male friendship in the ancient epics.

Though today, in many a retelling and analysis, the heroes and characters in the epics are described as gay; Achilles and Patroclus, Alexander and Hephaestion.

But in Tolkien's time, this view was less mainstream, instead these relationships were viewed as the ideal male friendship, Platonic in its philosophical context.

So writing this epic, concerning this friendship of Frodo and Samwise, Tolkien might have been attempting to emulate this ideal friendship, as it was understood in his time.

So, by writing what was, essentially, the ideal male-male relationship dynamics, as they were understood, Tolkien unintentionally wrote a story which can easily be read through many queer lenses.

But my favourite reading still involves no sexual/romantic relations between Sam and Frodo. My favourite reading is of Sam as a heterosexual (maybe queer-romantic of some flavor?) man and of Frodo as an Aro/Ace man. Because it lends itself strongly to this reading already, and it gives a wonderful view of how Aro/Ace people might still find fulfilling, loving, and caring interpersonal relationships.

Not everyone's happily ever after involves marrying the barmaid you're sweet on back home, or giving up your immortality for the man you love.

Frodo's life after the trilogy was by no ways the best, having to leave those he loved and all he had known, yet still I want to imagine Frodo happy.

[ratlibrarian]

Morrowind's NPCs don't move, sleep, eat, nor do most of them even have (much) unique dialogue; yet they FEEL more alive than those in Skyrim.

I think this stems from a confluence of reasons:

1. Every NPC has a name, and NPCs share family names, some have ancestral tombs on Vvardenfell, and there are just more NPCs that don't do anything. NPCs that just hang out in a cornerclub, without being part of some quest or faction, makes the cornerclub itself feel alive.

2. All NPCs live somewhere. They all have houses, or at least a bedroll or a room in an inn, a barracks, or in a faction building.

3. The world itself is more fleshed out: the lore is told not only through dusty scrolls and books, but by the people living in the world. They disagree, they lack knowledge, they even have opinions on changes in the sociocultural landscape. Being able to ask about rumours or secrets or advice makes any NPC that much more real.

I think this method making of NPCs is the perfect mix of Daggerfall's huge variety of generated NPCs and Skyrim's handcrafted, fully voiced and radiant "realistic" NPCs.

I also think we'll never see it again in a mainline Bethesda release. It is a lot of work to place, script, and create this type of NPC, and most modern gamers will not stand for essay-reading when asking for directions.

At least we have Tamriel Rebuilt and Project Tamriel.

[ratlibrarian]

Mantling

My favorite concept in all of the Elder Scrolls' lore is Mantling.

Mantling, poetically described as "walk like them, until they must walk like you" is, in my opinion, the coolest method of achieving apotheosis I've ever seen in fiction.

The concept that acting like someone/something and BEING that someone or something is just so filed with irony and cool possibilities.

Did Martin embody Akatosh enough to summon him, or to BECOME him?

Does the HoK embody Sheogorath, or are they Sheogorath?

"My first question is: Are you really Nerevar reborn?"

Are you? Is the Nerevarine truly, really, the embodiment or reincarnation of Nerevar? I often RP as such, that my beastfolk, Imperial guild member, outlander N'wah truly is Nerevar. Serves the racist, xenophobic Dunmer right that their Messiah is all that they hate.

But on a more lore-brained, and less commonly discussed level, does it matter?

Prophecy is all about the will of mortals anyway. The failed incarnates claim that the fact that they failed means the prophecy is more believable, but it seems that prophecy is more often a mix of vague, mystical mumbo-jumbo with a helping of Determined mortal will. So being the prophesized savior or not is less important than having the capacity to fulfill the duties imposed on the savior.

So, what other examples of Mantling do I especially enjoy?

Well, surely the many Shezarrines are a fan favorite. Pelinal and Arctus or Talos or Ysimir or all three.

Micheal Kirkbride seems to favor Cyrus, who mantled the HoonDing, together with Crown Prince A'tor.

Then, if we bring in other, unconfirmed cases, the Ruddy Man seems to allow others who wear him to Mantle some form of Dreugh-based interpretation of Molag Bal.

And then, the most controversial of my takes: the Tribunal are mantling the Three Good Daedra.

Vivec claims to have achieved CHIM, but how this was done is shrouded in mystery. Certainly, the use of Kagrenac's tools on the Heart of Lorkhan seems to have been a factor. Understanding, however, that CHIM is merely one of the Six Walking Ways, all used to achieve Apotheosis, or Mantling, there must be a "them" to walk like.

So the Tribunal almost certainly mantle their own Anticipation, without fully attaining their powers, and thus replacing them, as the HoK does, nor disappearing in the process, as Martin did.

Their wish was to remain closer to mortality, and to their beloved people.

The ending of the words is ALMSIVI

[ratlibrarian]

Why Neloth is so rude in TES III: Morrowind

I have played Morrowind for hundreds of hours. My favourite great house has always been Telvanni. I have done the Mouths' chores dozens of times.

YET I ONLY NOW FOUND OUT THAT THERE'S A REASON NELOTH IS SO TESTY:

Neloth's Mouth, Arara Uvulas, says:

"Perhaps these will put Master Neloth in a better mood. He is old, you see, and has trouble moving about. I use the soap along with some roobrush and bonemeal to make an ointment for his joints."

A potion made with Roobrush, Bonemeal, and Sload Soap, has three effects:

Restore Agility,

Fortify Agility,

AND DRAIN PERSONALITY

Thus, while ointing his jointing(s), Neloth becomes bitter, mean, and soothes his lil achy knees.

I love this game.

[ratlibrarian]

The Towers and the Thalmor

This is, unabashedly, me putting on my most exquisite tinfoil hat and theorizing what I believe to be the goal of the Thalmor in the Elder Scrolls universe.

Spoilers for all the major Elder Scrolls games, I think?

So, what do the Thalmor want? According to the loading screens in Legends, and the Infernal City by Greg Keyes, the Thalmor wish to subordinate all other peoples of Tamriel and "bring about a new Merethic era".

I find this somewhat lacking as an overarching goal. Simply taking control over Tamriel is something that the Cyrodiilic empires of Alessia, Reman and Septim have tried, and to varying extents, succeeded in before. Subjugating the other races seems a little bit on-the-nose. So what instead? What do they mean by bringing about a new Merethic era?

Well, the beginning of the Merethic era is considered the introduction of the Adamantine Tower to Mundus, and the beginning of linear time at the Convention. There, Lorkhan was punished for his treachery in creating the world, and by his execution, two more Towers were formed, or at least their essence was implanted in Mundus: the Red Tower and the White-Gold Tower, alongside their respective stones, the Heart of Lorkhan and the Chim-el Adabal, the gem at the center of the Amulet of Kings.

The Towers that formed after the Adamantine Tower was placed (or flown onto, or constructed on) on Nirn, seem to be the origins of the differences between the elves, what allowed the Bosmer and Chimer and all the other mer to distinguish themselves from the Aldmer, and later the Altmer. Condsidering Crystal-Like-Law is meant to be a copy of the Adamantine Tower, I personally theorize that the Altmer are in fact closest to what the Aldmer were like before the sinking of Aldmeris.

Thus, I think that "subjugating" the other races is less about subordinating the other elven races under the iron fist of the Thalmor and the Aldmeri Dominion, but more about forcing them to revert to a more Aldmeri state, in essence making all elves return to their pre-sinking of Aldmeris forms. The humans and beastfolk might simply be subjugated, though.

But I think it might even go further than that. I think the end goal of the Aldmeri Dominion is nothing less than the un-creation of Mundus. Notably, I don't think the goal is merely destruction, as Alduin or Satakal might aim for, but the undoing of the very creation of Mundus. In essence, undoing what Lorkhan tricked the Divines into doing.

The Altmer give us the terms "Aedra" and "Daedra", meaning "our ancestors" and "not our ancestors". I think the goal of the Aldmeri Dominion is to return the stolen strength and power of the Aedra to them, power which is used to maintain the constant that is Mundus, and which allows for linear time, and to return the elves to a state where they were indistinguishable for other et'Ada, other powerful ancestral spirits.

To do this, the collective strength of all elven nations might be required, which would explain the conquering tendencies of the Aldmeri Dominion and the Thalmor, while also giving a reason for the seeming destruction of the Towers around Tamriel.

So, how far have they gotten? And what is the final act?

Well, which Towers are operable?

Crystal-Like-Law - Seemingly inoperable, according to "Rising Threat", but might still be operable in other planes of existence.

Red Tower - Probably inoperable, considering the destruction of the Heart of Lorkhan by the Nerevarine, but might simply need a new Stone.

White-Gold - Inoperable, as the Chim-el Adabal is destroyed.

Orichalc - Unknown, thought inoperable with the sinking of Yokuda.

Snow Throat - Likely operating.

Green Sap - Perchance.

Walk-Brass - A conundrum. Thought inoperable, might simply need rebuilding and a new power source.

And the last Tower. The site of the Convention, Ada-Mantia. Likely operating, considering linear time continues on Mundus, this is, in my opinion, the final goal for the Aldmeri Dominion. To destroy or disable Ada-Mantia and break the Earth-Bones which bind the Aedra to Mundus.

My sincerest hope for the Elder Scrolls 6, aside from re-introducing spears, is that the Adamantine Tower becomes an important site for the plot, if it truly is set in the Iliac bay region.

This has been a cathartic embrace of my inner tinfoil hat-wearing lore nerd.

I'm probably wrong (for canon), but I love the Elder Scrolls, and I will head-canon this always.

[ameliadallon]

time for the Amy Dallon Bad Takes Hour, the irregularly scheduled segment where i give reprehensible, disgusting, concerning, or just flat out weird takes on amy dallon for an hour. to start us off:

Amy goes to sleep with wet hair and uses a polyester pillowcase

[lowpolyanimals]

Rat King from UBERCAT OVERDRIVE

[ratlibrarian]

In that one post by Michael Kirkbride, Lord Vivec's Sword-Meeting with Cyrus the Restless, Vivec really went:

"So, by the way, I totally slept wih all the lords of Yokuda. And I wanna sleep with you."

And Cyrus went:

"Flattered, but I'm not interested. Would you like to experience a nuclear bomb?"

[ratlibrarian]

Unsurprisingly, there's no contest in my mind for which game has the best daedric quests in the Elder Scrolls.

It's Morrowind (Shocker!!)

Because, at least in Skyrim, and to some extent in Oblivion, they follow this formula of "go here, kill or hurt or use or fetch x/y/z, come back and boom. Artefact of immense power (except it's scaled to your level, so, lmao get rekt nerd.)

And sure, Morrowind has couple of those. Go kill Menta Na, get the Mace of Molag Bal. Go fetch this rusty iron dagger, get Mehrunes Razor.

But hey, want Goldbrand? One of the best one-handed swords in the game? Find some dude to sculpt a rock. Let him do it. Boom. Sword.

And the artefacts, like the rest of the game (mostly), aren't ginped by your character's level. Becaus ewhy would an "Evil" god of noncreation limit the power of the blessing they confer upon a mortal who has done them a minor, trifling duty?

And, not all daedric artifacts are locked behind daedeic quests. Several are just. Hanging out. The Bitter Cup, the Skeleton Key, hell the Masque of Clavicus Vile is just. Chillin.

Because of course others have comitted grave and reprehensible sins to acquire artefacts of untold power!

Now your job is made easier:

"It's not theft if they're dead, and it's not murder if they hit you first!"

[ratlibrarian]

Tiny little rant:

So, being a university student in the year of our Lord, 2024, I am beset on all sides with AI.

"Oh, you could just check that with ChatGPT!"

"If you're struggling to understand the code you can ask ChatGPT!"

"Oh, I recommend using ChatGPT to help learn these concepts!"

I get it. This might (MIGHT), earnestly, be the best use case for AI when studying. Lots of students, my own coursemates included, find AI useful in their studies.

Being able to ask a LLM what the code I've blindly copied from the professor's notes does would be genuinely useful. Being able to check spelling and grammar when writing without bothering a classmate, or friend, or relying on half-remembered rules for a language I feel actively rotting in my brain whenever I write anything in any language ever; useful. Good.

But it has been tainted, somehow, in my mind. For me. Because I've seen too many of my friends get caught trying to cheat with AI, or even worse, getting away with it.

So while I would never fault someone for their use of AI, I do think professors actively encouraging its use in coursework somewhat off-putting.

I will continue to stubbornly take notes like a plebian, ink on paper; I will continue to stubbornly fail in writing and then deciphering the code I write.

Because to me, that's the very human evidence that I am studying. That I can learn. That I will, one day, REMEMBER THAT IT'S FUCKING

install.packages("nameofpackage")

and not FUCKING

download.packages("nameofpackage").

(R-coding will be the death of me)

[cpericardium]

this is a message for Roma's irl friend who reads this blog ⚠️

league is bad for you. play disco elysium instead

[ratlibrarian]

Thinking about worm again after speedreading a bunch of fanfics.

There's a certain feeling that worm evokes in me, a thought that keeps me returning. A question I keep asking myself.

Why is worm special?

I'm not a big comic-book superhero fan. I don't like Marvel movies. I find stories about Superman, or Batman, or Iron Man boring. The concept of a superhero is often lacklustre to me.

But worm is different. Worm manages to invoke all the emotions that "normal" superhero stories fail to create within me. And that makes me wonder what makes it unlike all the others.

I feel like I've read this from someone else, but I can't remember who or where:

"Worm is a story about bullying, couched in the imagery of superheroes."

That idea has stuck with me. Worm, absent its prose, characterization, or charm, is a story about bullying.

I was bullied.

I am not unique in having this experience. Bullying sucks. Bullies, and the bullied, are everywhere. Often, they are the same person. Bullies are often bullied persons themselves.

Superman is a bully. Batman is a bully. Iron Man is a bully. They use their power, whether literal or based on wealth and influence, to bully common criminals.

Criminals are bullies. They take from, hurt, and traumatize innocent people constantly. It's quite clear that having one's agency taken away by a criminal is violating.

A superhero cracking a mugger's wrist, because he snatched a purse, feels immoral all the same. A bigger bully beating up on a smaller bully.

Worm, to a certain extent, changes the foundations behind a superhero story. Instead of a perfect baby from an alien world, or a billionaire who happens to have been orphaned young, or some guy who found a magic ring, those who have powers have all suffered the most horrible, downright traumatic experiences of their lives.

If i had gotten superpowers at my lowest point? I would not be a hero. I would have been to caught up in my own feelings, my confusion, rage, sorrow, and apathy. I would at best be indifferent, and at worst a true monster.

Worm solves the issue I have with "boring superheroes" by making them all deeply flawed characters. People who, despite seeing and experiencing the absolute worst humanity has to offer, still go out to attempt to stave of ruination. Even if only for one more day.

That's heroic.

[theoddsandendscollector-deactiv]

Hey,

So I've been playing Morrowind-

I'm stuck between hating the fact I can't find anything, and finding it funny, and somewhat (very) realistic, because I almost got lost on my way to Walmart the other day, and I don't have a clue how to get (insert location near me, that I've been to, just never drove to)

But I can set things on fire, so there's that, I guess

[ratlibrarian]

Honestly I NEED more soft au (think coffeeshop au) worm content. NEED IT.

I love Worm. I love Ward. I love the gritty, dark world.

But Taylor deserves a soft story too. And Vicky. And Lisa. I wanna see soft Taylor worrying about the cute guy at her gym. Or the cute girl at the bookstore. I wanna see a story where she never had a fallout with Emma. Where Sophia gets help. Where Amy lives with Marquis. Where Vicky and Dean can just be a teenage couple.

I know of some stories like this, but they're often dead, or smutty. And while I have no problem with smut, I still want more SFW stories.

All this to say, if you have fav wormfic that fits these criteria, please recommend!