I'm not sure of you're still into jjk or even take requests (PLEASE UNSEE THIS IF YOU DON'T IM SO SORRY FOR BOTHERING YOU<3) but would you maybe consider a jogo degradation fic🫣 Idk I feel fondly for that disgusting short king lately
hello! i just finished reading your work "devoted innocence" in ao3 3 months ago and i was wondering if did you already made a part 2 of it? i kinda loved it and i was hoping to be fed up more with your works. you're one of my favorite writers now btw :p
arghhh thank you and glad to hear that i was able to provide a good story hehe <333
the bad news is that the final sequel won’t be coming out anytime soon. i’m waiting for the motivation and inspiration to write geto gojo and nanami. the story is 3k words long rn but again i’ve visited the document over a year ago ToT
the worst case scenario is that i’ll write a long summary to finish the story if the motivation to write for them never comes back
now thats out of the way, thanks for your concern dear friends i appreciate it and i apologize for not being able to return to your requests or writing/posting anything.
i have a few stuff already written for new lab dog chapters from before so i may post those but i cant really promise anything for the future. it all depends on how quickly i can get back on track so wish me luck <333
one year ago, my bf told me to post this fic after he introduced me to tf2 and made me realize this old ass script i had for a film could be used with these characters lol
well, here we are now. the warning taglist keeps growing lol
anyway, hope you enjoy!! please leave a comment <333
warnings for the whole fic: non-con, forced puppy play, manipulation, gaslighting, power imbalance, human experimentation, lobotomy, suicide attempt, humiliation, blood and gore, guro, alcoholism, self-harm, sexual assault, kidnapping, vomiting, death, dismemberment, murder, animal gore, animal death, diapers, piss, waterboarding, shock collars, drugging, hypnotism, cage sex, blood drinking, knife play, body horror, necrophilia, human vivisection, cannibalism
tldr: horror porn munkey stuff
word count: 9.8k
ao3 link
The bandages on the tips of your fingers were bleeding through. It wasn’t a problem, Medic was going to change them later. The problem was just how desperately you were bringing your fingers into your mouth to taste the blood. When you weren’t able to get enough to taste, you started biting the inside of your cheek. The gummy flesh caught between your molars was easily torn apart, tasty blood and bits of your flesh filled your mouth. The pain was nonexistent. You weren’t sure if it was due to the meds you were forcibly given or your weak body. You chewed slowly, savoring every bit.
Staring at the stinky meat in the bowl, you contemplated whether it was worth it.
Was it worth trying to subdue your hunger by gnawing at yourself instead of eating the smelly mystery meat?
Were you that hungry?
When did you get so hungry?
The best explanation your brain could come up with was the modified medi-gun they used on you. What did accelerated healing even mean? Did it also accelerate every other function of your body? You had lost a lot of your muscle in such a short time, and your body had grown weak in a matter of days. On top of it all, you weren’t having any withdrawals despite being forced to stop drinking alcohol so suddenly. This fact was enough to prove your theory right, at least you believed it was enough. Another set of questions followed. How was this affecting your internal organs, like your brain, heart, and stomach? Was this a part of their plan? Weakening you inside and out so you would submit to them?
You didn’t know the answer to any of these questions. Though Medic would likely answer them if you asked him.
Why would you ask him?
He was the enemy.
Your brain wasn’t functioning normally.
You can trust him.
The words kept echoing in your head, and you had to shake your head to successfully get rid of them.
You were in the workshop, sitting in a corner with a bowl of water and meat in front of you. Pyro had taken you to the workshop shortly after Medic had interrupted him back in the office. He left you with Engineer who paid little to no mind to you as he worked on a machine.
There were a few blood trails where Pyro walked. You weren’t able to reach those since your leash was tied up to the radiator, but if you could go any closer, you were scared that you would lick the blood off the floor.
Brushing off those thoughts, you tried to think of something else. Something to make you forget about your hunger and something that could make you feel normal.
What would normal (name) do?
The question made you smile because you didn’t know the answer. Back there with Pyro, your old self would have fought him. Your old self would sink her teeth into his throat and find a way to escape the base. You knew yourself the best and you believed violence solved most of the problems. Especially in this line of work. So, why didn’t you attack him then?
Was it because of what happened yesterday?
You partially remembered the sounds of nature. Hypnosis. Medic had used that term. This was the only answer you had for not being able to use the knife Pyro gave you to kill yourself. He was already in control of you. How long before you lost everything that made you (name)?
Though he wasn’t fully in control of everything, was he? His own teammates were going against him. You hadn’t been there to witness what happened at the end of the meeting but you could imagine that there were some lines that were drawn. There were the people who didn’t stick to their plan and presumably were against having you here and there were those who wanted to see you suffer more than anything.
This was a great advantage. You could use this. If you used one of these people who went against Medic, you could get them to kill you, since you couldn’t do it yourself. The obvious candidates were Skirmisher and Spy for now. She was jealous to have you here and Spy was doing things to please her…
Skirmisher wouldn’t do it but Spy was already doubting Medic. If you went to him and asked him to kill you, he would do it to please Skirmisher.
Even in this situation, jealousy was bubbling inside you right away at the thought.
So, you focused your attention to Engineer. He was tinkering with the same machine with his back against you.
“Wouldn’t killing me be easier?” you asked, watching his reaction.
He paused momentarily and glanced over his shoulder, “What would be the fun in that?”
“Your team is falling apart,” you replied. That made the smile on his face disappear. Was it true? From his reaction, it had to be.
“We spent a long time preparing for this,” he said, returning to his machine. “Some things are bound not to go as planned.”
“Like one of you raping me in secret?” you scoffed. How long had it been happening? How long had you been here? You were baffled that they had deemed it was fine to rape you as long as they put down a reservation for their time. How absurd was that? You couldn’t help but scoff again.
“Medic and I did put that into account,” he sighed, putting his hand on his knee for leverage as he stood up. “It’s inevitable when you have a woman as a prisoner.”
So, now you were being acknowledged as a woman. How great!
“My team wouldn’t have treated your Skirmisher like this,” you snapped and noticed that you were pulling at the leash too much. Your neck was hurting. You moved closer to the radiator he had tied your leash on.
He shook his head with a chuckle, “Are you sure?”
“They’re not like you.” You glared at him, angry that he would even consider your team to do anything like what they were doing to you to her.
Engineer smiled pitifully. “We’re not as cruel.” He put his hands on his toolbelt as he stepped closer. Quickly untying your leash, he crouched to pat your head. “My advice is that you don’t bring this up too much. You may discover something you won’t like.”
“Like what?” you snapped, shoving his hand away. “What can be worse than being treated like a dog?”
He slid his goggles up to his forehead. “You’re lucky. Be grateful.”
“Be grateful for what?” you spat. The anger you felt wasn’t strong enough to overcome this veil they had put over you. It wasn’t enough to break through whatever medicine you were forcibly given.
“It could be much worse,” he said. His gaze on you had some weight. He studied your face like he was determining if you could handle whatever he was hiding. “We could’ve done it like those REDs,” he began, his voice stiff. “Gotten a few dogs and trained them to do the job. It’d be fitting too, for a damn dog like you.”
Speechless, you barely got to process what he said before he stood up and yanked at your leash, the impact made you fall. You barely caught yourself above the water bowl before you felt the weight of his boot on the back of your head.
“Stop,” you shrieked abruptly, trying to maneuver away but he was keeping you in place with the leash tightly wrapped around his hand. He started putting his weight onto his foot on your head and you were struggling to hold yourself up. Your hands on the floor were stable but your arms were trembling. How weak had you gotten that you couldn’t hold your position?
“C’mon, doggy, I know you’re thirsty,” he cackled and stepped harder. “This is nothing compared to what your team did to Mish.” Your arms gave in and you dropped to the floor with your face in the water bowl. You hadn’t gotten the chance to take a breath before being shoved into the bowl, in a panic, you ended up inhaling and getting water into your nose. Coughing made it worse, you were unable to control where the water you were involuntarily swallowing ended up.
Engineer was putting almost his entire weight on the back of your head now. Struggling harder, you got a grip on his boot with your hands but it wasn’t enough to push him off. With your quick thinking, you placed your hands on the water bowl and shoved it away from yourself. It ended up being more painful than you expected, with the weight on your head, the bowl felt like a punch against your face as you showed it. As soon as it was gone from under you, your face smashed on the floor. Your nose was crushed under Engineer’s weight and you felt your teeth throb in pain. You weren’t sure if you hit them on the floor or if the pain from your nose was spreading down.
He finally moved away while you were coughing up the water you swallowed. The relief was short-lived as you heard the sound of a drill before you felt it pierce through your skin on your arm and hit the bone in the same second. Your body jolted in pain.
You screamed in agony as he kept drilling into your bone. “Please, please, please… PLEASE!”
“What’re you begging for?” he asked with a chuckle and the drill suddenly went fully through your arm. Then, he pulled the drill out by force, you felt every bit as the drill bit tugged at your flesh, muscles and grazed against the bone it had pierced. You didn’t stop screaming until it was fully out. “Whew,” you heard him say and glanced at what he was admiring. You saw bits of flesh on the blood covered drill bit. “We’re late for lunch,” he said. “Let’s go.”
There was no way you could crawl like this.
He must have thought the opposite because he was pulling you by the leash, forcing you to crawl.
Your right arm was throbbing in pain, and you couldn’t put your weight on it either. Luckily, you could put most of your weight onto your legs and use your left arm for balance as you crawled. Medic would heal you soon.
Even then, you didn’t think you could eat after what Engineer said. What did he mean? Idiot, you knew what he meant! It was just hard to believe. This was one of those psychological torture talks. They were trying to break you down by making you doubt yourself and your team. You had to stay strong. The BLUs would do anything to destroy every bit of your identity.
Were you going to let them?
They had already stripped you naked, made you walk on all fours and even put a leash on you. These things were nothing. You refused to dwell on them. You had to keep moving forward. Humiliation was nothing compared to the death of who you were. All of the things they were trying so hard to use against you were nothing to you. Your body would heal in time. They could torture you however they wanted but you would heal one way or another. The pain was temporary. It brought the question of whether you could overcome the psychological torture. Could you?
At the end of this torture was a certain death. That was if they were telling the truth. Though if they were lying, the psychological damage they did to you would remain once you respawned. Either way, if your mind broke, there was nothing that could fix it. For that reason, you had to stay strong.
Wheezing as you breathe, you noticed how you could barely smell anything other than blood. You wanted to stop crawling to check your nose. Was it bleeding? Broken?
Engineer pulled you by the leash and you were forced to continue moving.
Attempting to fix the issue, you blew out the air you inhaled through your nose with all your strength and felt warm blood trickle down to your mouth and chin. Now you could breathe better.
You licked your lips to not waste the blood, it could help subdue your hunger even just a tiny bit. You kept licking until your stomach convulsed at the smell of food when you entered the dining hall. Bread? It had to be bread…
When did bread smell so good?
Your mouth was watering at the imaginary taste. The blood on your tongue was now tasting of soft, fluffy bread. You chewed without noticing and caught your cheek between your teeth. You tried resisting. If you bit the inside of your cheeks too much, you could do something much worse in the future. You knew hunger was something you could overcome to a certain point. No matter how much you refused to eat the unappetizing food in your bowl, it was inevitable that you would in the future. Still, you wanted to hold out for as long as you could.
Medic was sitting at the table with a distant look on his face, and on the floor next to his chair was the same raw meat they kept trying to feed you.
Engineer approached Medic, handing your leash to him after a greeting. Medic’s gaze lingered on your bleeding arm only for a moment before he asked Engineer if the repairs were going well. The two continued talking while you stared at the raw meat in your bowl.
Since when was it your bowl?
Fuck.
You were so hungry. Your body was losing more muscle every day and it was affecting your brain. If you didn’t eat, you were allowing them to break you.
“It was a match,” Medic whispered. That got your attention. What was he talking about?
“Well, would you look at that?” Engineer sighed in disappointment, taking a seat next to Medic. “Are you sure, doc?”
“Despite our limitations, his blood type is a match. It’s difficult for me to observe the genetic structure with our provided equipment,” Medic replied and covered his face with a hand. He dragged it down and spoke in a low tone. “I’ve already compared the rest of the team’s blood samples. Sniper and Pyro weren’t a match despite what we suspected.”
Wait.
Wait. Were they talking about who was assaulting you?
“What’re we gonna do?” Engineer asked. “How will you punish him?”
He shrugged, “I was hoping it would be Sniper but Scout? I didn’t expect him. If (name) learns what he did, she’ll be beyond jealous. I don’t think we can handle a controversy like this at the moment. Especially before a mission.”
“I agree,” Engineer whispered. He leaned closer to speak. “I can keep an extra eye on him.”
“He won’t do it again,” Medic said dismissively. “I don’t believe he’ll risk it after he learned the consequences. He’s not stupid enough to make the same mistake again if he knows he’s been caught.”
“So, should we act like this never happened?”
Medic didn’t answer right away. “It’s for the best. His punishment will come later.”
It was like they were presenting this information to you on a golden plate. Did they assume that you weren’t a threat anymore? Because you could use this. If they were going to keep this to themselves, then you could blackmail Scout. Or reveal this to Skirmisher. The more unstable she was, the frailer the BLUs were. You could definitely tear them apart from the inside.
There was still hope.
You had to wait until the right moment. You just needed a moment alone with Scout or Skirmisher.
“Aah,” you heard Medic gasp and he stood up, his chair scratching against the floor. “You’re bleeding too much,” he said, dropping his napkin over the small pool of blood under your right hand. The white napkin soaked up your blood almost instantly, and the color red was slowly spreading and covering every side of the cloth. Your mouth was watering at the waste of blood. If you could wring the soaked up blood on the napkin into your mouth, maybe it would help with hunger.
“I can wash the pup,” Sniper replied from somewhere in the dining room. You didn’t know he was here. “I was done with my food anyway.”
You glanced up at Medic, begging silently. You didn’t want to be near Sniper. You wanted to be healed and sleep. You were sick of the torture already. Whatever meds you were given were wearing off, you were becoming alert and feeling pain more and more. They had to know this.
“I need it back in an hour,” Medic said. Did you really think he would show mercy to you? How could you beg for him to show Mercy? What were you expecting? What had happened to you? “Bring it to my lab when you’re done.”
You watched blankly as Sniper came into your vision and Medic handed him your leash before returning to his seat.
Sniper pulled your leash, making kissy noises, “Come, girl.”
Glancing at Medic, you saw that he wasn’t paying any attention to you. He was talking to Engineer like you meant nothing.
If you resisted going with Sniper, would they punish you?
Did you want to risk it?
You awkwardly started crawling toward the exit, where Sniper was leading you. “Good doggy,” he praised with a smile. “Let’s clean you up.”
You were struggling to crawl down the corridor. Your arm was sizzling in pain. Couldn’t they heal you first?
That was when Sniper took a turn. He wasn’t heading toward the communal showers. Was he going to heal you or patch you up somehow?
When he took another turn, you realized he was heading out of the base. Did he not know you would get shocked?
You stopped crawling. “I’m not going out,” you said. “I’ll get shocked.”
He chuckled at that, “It’s fine.” He tugged on your leash to get you to move again. “It’s within the limits.”
Wait. You remembered something like that. Was he leading you to his camper? You would end up getting assaulted if he cornered you in there. Would you be able to fight back? What if Medic’s hypnosis involved making you unable to fight back?
“Where are we going?” you asked as you got closer to the exit door. You couldn’t hide the unsure tone in your voice.
“Just outside,” he replied, pushing the door open.
The bright sun blinded you as you crawled outside. The soft breeze and the warm sunlight were kissing your skin, you inhaled the smell of dusty concrete and exhaled softly. Your eyes adjusted slowly to the sun and you saw that Sniper had dropped your leash and gone ahead. He was holding a garden hose with running water spilling out of its mouth. He aimed the mouth at a large, stained bathtub.
You stared ahead. His camper was a few meters away and their watchtower was further away from that. There was nothing else. The rest was just the desert that surrounded their base like yours.
A whistle grabbed your attention. You turned to look at Sniper, who was gesturing for you to come closer.
You crawled weakly toward him as he was rolling his sleeves further up after leaving the hose in the tub. You still couldn’t put your right hand down, you had to let it hover over the ground as you proceeded. The sun was hitting directly where the stained tub was, it was comfortably hot. The concrete ground was hard on your skin, and rocks and cracks were scraping your knees as you got closer to him.
“Look at you, limping like an actual pup,” he chuckled. “Did Engineer do that to you?”
You assumed he was asking about the arm and mumbled out a response, “Yeah.”
He crouched as you approached him and reached to pet your head. “We’ll go and bandage that up later.”
Was he being nice, or was he pretending?
“Get in,” he said.
You stared up at him and then at the half filled bathtub. It looked absolutely disgusting. It was broken on one edge and it was covered in brownish stains. You couldn’t tell if they were dried blood stains or something much worse.
“Where did this come from?” you asked.
“Medic,” he replied, moving his hand over your hair. “He has one lying around in the lab for experiments. He threw this one out when it broke.”
“I meant the stains,” you said. “I’d rather wash off here anyway.”
He hummed in thought, “Blood, I believe but it’ll be fine. It’s your blood anyway.”
“Mine?” you scoffed. Did he mean Skirmisher’s?
Sniper let go of your hair and smiled as he stood up. “I’d gather a corpse or two of yours after a battle for Medic,” he said casually, folding his arms over his chest. “Now, get in.”
“Why?” So even your dead bodies weren’t allowed to rest. What did they use them for? Experiments? Research?
He shrugged, “He enjoys figuring out what makes you tick. He might be attracted to the dead more than the living.”
The mental image of Medic tenderly handling your corpse flashed before your eyes. You stared at the dark stains on the tub as if they could paint a picture of what happened. “It sounds more like you,” you shot back as you tried to ignore your own imagination of what that looked like. Sniper choosing and collecting a body of yours that hadn’t been damaged too much for himself instead of taking it to the incinerator. Dragging it into his camper and peeling off the clothes.
Your eyes were unblinking as you tried reading his mind. Was he fucking with you, or was he telling you something closer to the truth?
He didn’t give you an answer and went to turn off the faucet.
The bathtub was full and the water wasn’t clear.
If you resisted, it would only take longer and the quicker you got this done, the quicker you could return to Medic. He was a safe option among all of the others. Maybe he would let you rest. A nap sounded so good right now. Or was it because you had a concussion of some sort? Should you be sleeping anytime soon?
Your stomach sank when you heard his belt unbuckling. Turning to look at him, you saw him getting undressed. “Get in,” he instructed. He was holding the familiar remote in his hand. “I’ll wash you.”
You should have known that it would come to this.
Standing on your feet, you stepped into the dirty tub one foot at a time. The water wasn’t too cold but the water had a nasty brownish hue. Under your feet, the bottom was textured, you guessed that they were rocks. Still, the disgust was overwhelming your senses. You placed your hand on the bleeding wound and attempted to bring yourself back with the throbbing pain. That brought another question. How long until you bled out?
“Sit down,” he said, taking off his shirt.
“No,” you replied, standing in the tub. The water was reaching just below your knees. “I’m not getting in any further than this.”
He pulled his shirt off above his head, and his messy hair slowly fell to cover his forehead. “Are you scared of getting wet? What are you, a cat?” he mockingly asked. Throwing his shirt on the concrete ground next to his pants, he stood next to the tub in his underwear with a noticeable bulge in the front. He chuckled to himself, “Actually, now that I think of it. You're more like a cat than a dog. What do you think?”
His words were bleeding through the memories of your Sniper. The resemblance was something you wanted to ignore, just as you had been ignoring how similar the BLUs were to your teammates. They had no right to tarnish your memories of them.
“No,” you replied firmly without thinking. You were hoping he wouldn’t continue.
“So, you’re a dog?” he teased. He took a step closer and stepped out of his shoes before getting in the tub himself. He stood in front of you, the remote was still in his hand.
“I’m not a dog,” you replied, your head was spinning from the blood loss. He should have patched you up before bringing you here. “I’m a woman.”
That made him pause with a smile as his gaze dropped to your body. You wrapped your arm tighter around your chest to try to cover up. He placed his hands on your shoulders and pushed you down, “Sit.”
You opened your mouth to tell him off, but you lost your balance. Taken aback, he didn’t have time to catch you either. You ended up in the water face first and swallowed some of the dirty water despite your liking. Coughing and retching in disgust, you grabbed onto the edge of the tub for balance. Everything was too overwhelming, shame, disgust, and frustration were taking over you. You wanted to die. “Just kill me,” you whined, almost tearing up.
Grabbing you by the hair, Sniper pushed your head under the water. You began struggling immediately as the dirty water touched your face. Using your hands, you tried to hold yourself up. When that didn’t work, you grabbed his wrist to get him to release your hair. Unmoving, he held you in place as the water started invading your mouth and nose. Panic was making things worse, you couldn’t hold your breath any longer.
Just then, he pulled you up. “Hold still,” he said into your ear, rolling his hips forward. You finally noticed the warm cock against your ass.
“Wait!” Greedily sucking in air, you let out a wheezing cough before you were able to speak again. “Stop…”
“Stop?” He pulled at your hair harder. His lips grazed the shell of your ear as he spoke, “You need to make up your mind. Do you want to die or not?”
He was right. Didn’t you want to die? Why were you begging for him to stop?
You shook your head, coughing and wheezing to breathe. “I don’t know,” you said weakly. “I can’t die here. Not like this.”
“Do you have a preference on how you’d rather die?” he asked. His cock was throbbing against your cunt.
His relentless humping was making it harder to think. You didn’t want to die in a dirty tub with him while he was having his way with you and possibly violating your corpse too. You didn’t want to die without getting the chance to destroy the BLUs. You didn’t want to die while your team had a fake among them, pretending to be you.
“I’ll do anything you want,” you whispered, ignoring his free hand trailing over your breasts. He groped the supple flesh at your words, a soft groan escaping his lips. “If you help me sabotage your team.”
“That’s a hefty request,” he replied, you could hear the smile in his voice. “Intriguing.” He pressed himself harder against you, the tip of his cock was one thrust away from penetrating your cunt. “Anything?”
“Anything.” Your voice broke as he pushed his entire length inside of you.
“We may have a deal.” Releasing your hair, he pushed you down until your back was arched. His hands gripped your hips hard enough to bruise and he leaned forward until his lips could plant a kiss on your shoulder. He took a sharp inhale as he humped your cunt in deep thrusts. “I saw him,” he started, a smile was tangible in his breathy voice. “I saw him grab you like this,” he said, emphasizing his words by grabbing your hips harder, “Your flesh was more fragile, it easily tore apart. You slipped through his hands and your head whacked at the edge of the tub. It broke just as you did.”
Your breath caught in your throat, and he continued thrusting inside you mercilessly. You wanted to know if what he was talking about was a lie but the broken tub was enough to give you a definitive answer. It was better not to know what he meant.
His fingers dug into your skin. “He threw the tub away without even removing you. I would come here to watch the maggots squirm under your skin while having my coffee. It was fun seeing them eating their way out.” His cock throbbed at the words. Pressing his mouth on your ear, he whispered his next words, “In the heat, you started to stink from the maggots before your corpse melted into the tub.”
The nausea came upon you in an instant. You tried to push him off while you hurled uncontrollably. Bile rose to your mouth and spilled out into the water beneath you. Blood loss was making you dizzy and vomiting had made it worse. You tried struggling free. You needed to get out of here. Disgust made your stomach churn, you didn’t care what happened anymore. You had to leave the tub.
“It was a joke.” Sniper sighed as he covered your mouth with a hand, thrusting harder into you.
You didn’t believe it was a joke.
You fought back harder and he finally released you. Crawling out of the broken bathtub, you threw yourself on the dusty concrete ground. You watched the wall while taking deep breaths. Your stomach churned again but you had nothing to throw up in there. Your body spasmed with each gag.
Between the gagging and heaving, you gathered enough strength to drag your body toward the back entrance door. The hard concrete beneath scratched and cut your skin but it would be nothing once you got to Medic. He could heal you.
Maybe you could ask for food as a consolation.
Walking into your view, Sniper opened the door for you. He was fully clothed now but his clothes had soaked up most of the moisture from his skin. He looked like he had been standing under a pouring rain. “I’ll see you tonight,” he said.
Ignoring him, you continued crawling and went through the door. He didn’t follow you inside and you tiredly dragged yourself. Although your destination was Medic’s lab or office, you barely made it a few meters away before your arms gave out.
Flopping on the cold tile, you took deep breaths. In between those breaths, you found yourself calling out to Medic before passing out.
~~~
Bright lights blinded you as you opened your eyes. You were in Medic’s lab.
You didn’t know how you got there but you were feeling better.
“But he said he’s protecting me.” It was Skirmisher.
“Which one of us is the medic?” Medic’s voice made you perk up. “I’m qualified to decide what’s best for you. He isn’t.”
He was chatting with Skirmisher somewhere. You could hear them. Rolling over on the floor, the first thing you noticed was that something was attached to your arm. An IV? You couldn’t focus on it too long as your eyes quickly searched for Medic when his laughter filled your ears. He was sitting on a stool with his back toward you.
“I don’t know,” she said. “It’s too much sometimes. I don’t know what to think or do. I’m scared that you’re lying to me about what happened.”
“I lie to you because I want to protect you,” he replied. “The truth is something only I can handle. You don’t need to know everything to live.”
What were they talking about?
You stayed still to listen.
“I can’t,” she choked up. “I want to be exterminated if you won’t tell me the truth. I can’t live like this. I need to know.”
“If you knew, you’d want to be exterminated too,” he said calmly. “You need to take your meds and let me decide for you. I’m doing what’s best for you before I do what’s best for us.”
“Is that the truth or a lie?” she asked.
“There’s some truth in every lie.”
“That’s what a liar would say,” she scoffed.
“Or a doctor,” he joked. “You should trust your doctor.”
It was quiet for a moment, and you held your breath, thinking they had noticed you were listening to them. That didn’t seem the case, Skirmisher spoke after a long pause. “I trust you,” she started. “But you don’t trust me.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I’m never included in the meetings,” she said. You had noticed her absence in the meeting since your capture and how Medic didn’t want her to be informed about the things happening. But you thought it was happening recently because she was against having you in their base.
Medic grabbed something from the tray next to his stool. It was a syringe. “We should start before it’s too late,” he said.
“I thought I proved my loyalty,” she whispered. “Didn’t I?”
He didn’t give a reply.
Their conversation seemed to be done and you didn’t know what he was going to do to her. Grabbing the pole with wheels next to you to not rip whatever was connected to your arm, you moved closer. Your legs were a bit weak to crawl but you weren’t covered in blood anymore, nor was your drilled arm sizzling in pain. He had cleaned you up and healed you. Though you couldn’t move your arm freely, it jolted in pain if you raised it too high.
The wheels made a squeaky noise and Medic swiveled around in his stool. “You’re awake,” he acknowledged before turning back. “Come,” he ordered.
As you got closer, you could see that Skirmisher was lying on a gurney. Medic was in full lab gear with a mask, gloves and an apron.
“You can stand up,” he said after glancing down at you.
You were curious about what he was doing.
“I don’t want her here,” Skirmisher replied. “I don’t want her to look at me and I don’t want to see her.”
You froze, you didn’t want to move.
“Stand up,” Medic instructed.
“She doesn’t want me to,” you whispered.
“Stand up,” he repeated. “She has to accept that you have the right to be here.”
You slowly stood up, holding onto the pole for balance. In front of you was Skirmisher on the gurney, her naked body on full display. Her chest had deep scars going from both sides above her chest and meeting in the middle before going down to her belly. It was a healed dissection scar. She was fighting tears as you looked at her.
Medic placed the instruments on the tray next to you with graceful movements. Each instrument was treated with utmost care. He put them next to each other with a trained organization, you wondered if each gap between them or even which instrument goes where was planned before.
“What are you going to do?” you asked. Skirmisher hadn’t moved at all. Was she drugged? Was he going to operate on her?
He put his hand on Skirmisher’s stomach and traced over the scar up to her chest. “I’ll cut her open.”
“Why?”
He tilted his head while looking at Skirmisher. “Torture.”
You saw the tears flow down her cheeks. “Is that why she has those scars?” you asked, pointing at the prominent scar on her torso.
“No,” he answered. “That was when I brought her back. We updated her respawn data that day, which is why she’ll always have these scars as a reminder.”
You remembered him saying something like that. So, was it true? Did he kill her and bring her back after another one of her respawns? How could she be confused as to which one she was if she had the scars to prove that she was the original? Or was it something else she was worried about?
“That day,” you started. “Was there a backup plan if anything went wrong?” You looked at him. “What if I were able to escape or respawn before you could replace me?”
He sighed audibly, “We would bring you back by force.” His hand tracing over her scar returned to his side. “If I had to be honest, those details weren’t too important. I was stressed about the fact that you or any of the REDs managed to kill the replacement. She wasn’t connected to any respawn systems like you are right now. If she died, we’d fail and wouldn’t be able to try again unless (name) requested an extermination.”
“Because of the scars,” you mumbled. Then they would have gotten an exact copy of you. Wait. Pyro had gotten exterminated but he didn’t look like your Pyro. Was there a complication to the extermination you weren’t aware of? Was that why Medic chose to cheat the respawn system for his plan?
“Precisely,” he replied as he stood up from his stool and moved it to the side using his foot. “You can sit on that if you’d like.”
You wanted to stand for this. For someone who thought they were much better than you to be tortured by their own teammate, you wanted to see it up close. You wanted her to see you enjoy it. “I’ll stand,” you said. “Is she going to feel what you’re doing?”
Medic glanced at you, his eyes were squinting as if he was smiling. “She’ll feel everything,” he explained. “Would you like to join?”
Was he being serious?
He stepped away from the gurney, gesturing for you to come closer. “Don’t be shy.”
Hesitantly, you approached him and stood where he was standing before. Skirmisher’s eyes were glossy with tears, you couldn’t help but smile.
He pulled the tray closer and grabbed a scalpel. “You can help me with the incision. Hold this,” he instructed as he placed the scalpel in your hand. Your fingers were unable to fully grasp the instrument. Standing behind you, he put his hand over yours to hold the scalpel. He placed his other hand on your side to pull you closer. “Now,” he started, guiding you to the middle of her chest. “If it were you,” he said, moving his free hand to press his gloved finger on your chest. “We could make the incision right down the middle,” he said, tracing his finger down to your stomach. “But with her scarring, we can’t. We’ll be a little off-center.”
You were nodding but you weren’t sure if you understood anything. You were too focused on Skirmisher’s eyes, which were overflowing with tears. “Can’t she talk?”
“She can’t. Just like when you were in the cage. She’ll be awake and somewhat alert.” He placed his hand on your back to lead you forward. “Now, pay attention,” he said and you felt his hand over yours applying pressure. The scalpel made contact with the skin, piercing through the skin as if it were nothing. Quickly, he made you drag the scalpel down, cutting through the skin like butter. Blood started oozing out along the deep cut as he lifted the scalpel. “Excuse me,” he said and moved away from you after putting the instrument back on the tray. “I’ll get the medi-gun to keep her vital organs functioning manually. Or we’ll have to intubate her like we did with you.”
With the heat of his body gone from behind you, your focus shifted back to Skirmisher’s face. She didn’t have any emotions showing on her face but her eyes were full of tears. She was looking at you with the very familiar hatred that had to be boiling in her blood. “I hate you too,” you said, grabbing the edge of the gurney in frustration.
Medic put his hand on your shoulder to turn you around. “You’ll get a headache from crying,” he said and brought his other hand up to your face.
You didn’t know you were crying. Why were you crying? Did you feel bad about her?
He wiped away your tears and gave your shoulder a firm squeeze. “You don’t have to watch if you don’t feel well.”
You were unsure why he was behaving like this. Was he hoping to drop your guard by acting as if he cared about you?
“I want to watch,” you replied and noticed the whirring of the medi-gun behind him. It was aimed at her, healing her slower than normal. Another modification? Perhaps specifically for torture? Or surgery? He said it would force her organs to continue functioning.
“Great,” he said, returning to the tray with the instruments. “I could use some company.”
You watched him pick up the scalpel again and proceed to make two incisions from her shoulders, meeting them in the middle.
“If she could, she’d squeal like a pig from the pain,” he chuckled.
It was true, you could see how her tears kept flowing. All she could do was to cry. You forgot why she was being punished. Was it for not taking her medicine? Or was it to serve as a warning for others and perhaps you, for going against Medic?
He was handling her like she was cattle. Cutting her flesh without any hesitation. Her blood splattered on his apron and face as he cut deeper but he didn’t pay any mind. He didn’t ask for your participation until her organs were exposed.
“Would you like to see what you look like from the inside?” he asked, pulling down his mask. “It’s quite beautiful.”
You stepped closer, staring at her open abdomen. Her ribcage was forced open and her organs were moving. You assumed it was normal for them to squirm like they were doing now because you didn’t know. They were red too. Was it from the bleeding, or were they always so red?
“This is your heart,” he said, pointing at the organ fused with machinery. It was beating so fast, pumping the blood that had nowhere to go. She should have died by now but he was keeping her alive with the medi-gun. Forcing her heart to pump so you could see her in pain.
Wasn’t he torturing her for some other reason, though?
“You can pick some of them out if you’d like,” he sighed. His shoulders rose as he took a deep breath. “With the way she’s behaving, she’s no use to me.”
“I can be of use,” you replied, looking at him. “I can replace her.”
He had a smile on his lips as his eyes flicked back on her. At that moment, the only sound in the room came from the whirring of the medi-gun.
Frozen, your eyes locked into her heart. You could kill her now. She would respawn but you held the power to decide when she could die.
“You had a relationship with the RED Spy,” he said suddenly, bringing you out of your thoughts.
“Why are you bringing this up?” you asked.
“So it’s true,” he said.
“Why does it matter?” you snapped and for a reason you didn’t know, you told him the truth. Perhaps it hurt and you wanted to talk about it with someone, or you were going insane. Whichever it was, you couldn’t stop yourself. “We were never together anyway. He said he did it to keep me under control.”
He paused momentarily. Maybe he felt bad for you. You were so pitiful. You let your obsession take over you. How weak were you? Why were you telling the enemy about this?
“How did it start?”
His question made you look at him. His eyes were on you, alert and waiting impatiently for your answer. Was this something they could use against you? Something they could feed to your replacement? You decided not to answer him.
As if he realized you weren’t going to talk, he made a guess, “You were following him around and invading his space to get his attention.”
You tried to keep a straight face. He probably knew because they had been studying you for too long. Perhaps, he made a good guess. That was it.
“What makes you think you can replace her?” he asked.
Returning your gaze to Skirmisher on the gurney, you spoke again. “She’s not a weapon but I am. I can replace her.”
“You’re not a weapon,” he replied. He was testing you. “You’re a dog.”
You gritted your teeth but didn’t let him get under your skin. “A loyal dog,” you said. “Let me replace her.”
“Dogs don’t talk,” he smiled. “They take orders.”
Silence.
When you stayed quiet, it amused him. He walked around the gurney to stand behind you. With his blood stained gloved hand, he pulled your hair away from your face and ear. His mouth was pressed right next to your ear as he whispered in a tone she couldn’t hear. “Eat her heart like a good dog.”
You glanced down at her, watching the panic in her eyes. Her heart was beating faster in her open chest. You were starving. It was possible to do it. It didn’t look appetizing in the slightest but you were used to the taste of your own blood by now. It was pleasant. It would be pleasant. You could stomach it.
While reaching your hand forward, you noticed your fingernails had regrown back, which would make things easier. Your hand reached inside her open chest. It was a weird sensation. The warmth of her insides was radiating enough heat for you to feel it on your skin. Your fingers touched the organ first, and the gummy flesh pulsated against your fingertips. Wrapping your hand around the heart, you felt it beat in your hand. Above your thumb was the mechanical attachment, it was warm to the touch and some muscle tissue had grown over it. Something that didn’t belong in her body had been accepted like it had always been a part of her. You grabbed the still-beating heart and tried to tear it out of her chest. You felt something pop, it was dislocated from its previous place but it wasn’t fully out of her chest. You needed to cut it out.
A dog couldn’t use tools.
You leaned over her chest, placing your other hand on the gurney for leverage as you brought your open mouth to her heart. It was throbbing in your hand and when your teeth sank into it. It was so soft, a velvety texture between your teeth as it continued pulsating. You bit harder, putting all the force you had in your jaw into the bite. Blood spurted into your mouth and down your neck. The organ between your teeth fluttered like a bird in a cat’s mouth. You bit harder and moved your mouth away to tear the chunk off. It wasn’t enough. Closing your fingers around the heart, you pulled it away from your mouth as you ground the muscle between your teeth.
Finally managing to tear it off, you had a small chunk of her heart in your mouth now. You chewed without hesitation. Despite the chewing, it didn’t get smaller. You had no choice but to swallow. The blood and raw muscle traveled down your throat, and you felt it move down your chest. Your own heart was beating like it could stop at any moment.
You went for another bite and another until the organ didn’t move anymore.
A hand landed on your head. Turning your head, you met Medic’s proud face. He petted your head gently, “Good dog.”
~~~
Medic was wiping the blood off your mouth and neck with gentle movements. His eyes were following his own hands, dipping the soft towel in warm water and bringing it up to your chest to clean the rest of the blood.
You had helped him throw Skirmisher’s body in the incinerator moments earlier, after he removed the fluid drip attached to you. He made a joke about how she probably had run to Spy to complain about what happened as soon as she hit respawn. You hadn’t laughed, not when you could still taste her heart on your tongue. The lingering taste made you think you could never forget it. This would stay on your tongue forever, the feeling of her fluttering heart in your mouth and the taste of her fear.
You looked at Medic. He was smiling, he hadn’t stopped smiling since you ate her heart.
You wanted to talk. Ask him if you could replace her. Yet, you had a bad feeling about it. You were scared that it would take you back to the beginning if you spoke. The game he was playing had rules that he didn’t care to explain. If only you could read his mind, you wouldn’t feel so anxious. Even then, you wouldn’t be able to make sense of his thoughts, you guessed. His thoughts could be in another language or encrypted to make sure no one ever could decode them.
He brought the warm towel up and wiped your lips. You met his gaze as his smile grew wider. He used his free hand to push your hair out of your face. “Blood looks good on you,” he said simply and continued wiping your lips.
Once cleaned, he took you to the dining room. He made you sit on the floor next to his chair and placed the same smelly food in front of you. The rotten smell wasn’t enough to make you vomit but you still pushed the bowl further away from yourself. You weren’t too hungry anyway.
Medic returned to his chair with a plate after getting food for himself. You looked around the room. There were a few people around but it was so quiet. Nobody was talking. You could only hear Medic’s cutlery moving against his plate.
The knife ground against the plate, over and over again, until he was done with his meal.
“What did you do?” Spy spoke abruptly as he rushed inside the room. You watched him stomp closer. “I asked you a question!” he raised his voice, glaring at Medic.
Medic’s chair squeaked as he stood up. You didn’t know what you were expecting but he placed his finished plate in front of you. “You earned a treat,” he whispered, ignoring Spy.
The plate in front of you had some leftovers from mashed potatoes and juices from some meat and sauce. You couldn’t believe yourself as your body moved before you could think. You started licking the plate to get a taste of normal food.
“Did you tell her that the enemy would take her place?” Spy demanded an answer.
“What happens between my patients and me is confidential,” Medic replied as you sloppily licked the potatoes.
“You’re impossible!”
You hadn’t noticed your tears rolling down your cheeks until your nose started to get runny. Potatoes. Did they ever taste so good? You decidedly licked the sauce with the potatoes when a kick landed on your side.
Coughing up the food you had yet to swallow, you fell on the floor while holding your stomach. Above you were Spy. “All because of you!” he shouted as he landed another kick on you.
Medic stood there with brows furrowed. He almost looked angry at you instead of him.
Spy pulled his leg back to kick you again. You grabbed onto his leg and bit him with the entire strength of your jaw. Yelling in pain, he tried to shake you off but you had your arms wrapped around his leg, chomping on his leg through his pants. He started hitting you on your head with balled up fists. You bit harder.
“Enough,” Medic said, grabbing his arm. He looked down at you with a faint smirk on his lips. “Release.”
You opened your mouth in an instant, pulling your arms away from Spy’s leg. He limped backward while Medic held him for support. Then he pulled his arm free from Medic. “Do you see what you’ve done?” he asked. “Why would you do this to our team?”
“You’ll thank me for this one day,” Medic replied.
“Thank you for what?” Spy pointed a finger at you, scoffing. “For this?” He quickly patted his pockets as if he was looking for something before pulling out the familiar device. “I’ll end it here.”
You braced for the pain as he pressed the button.
Nothing happened.
Was it malfunctioning?
You could hear the mechanical clicks as Spy kept pressing the button.
The pain never came.
“You’re not yourself,” Medic said in disappointment. “You’re letting Skirmisher manipulate you.”
You looked at Spy and saw him throw the device on the floor. “You don’t trust me,” he spoke through his teeth.
“Trust should be mutual,” Medic said, stepping closer to you. “You’ve been doubting me and I’ve been doubting you. We’ll work on this.”
“You’re protecting the enemy and torturing one of ours,” Spy said.
“Only one of them has been turning us against each other,” Medic replied.
Spy clenched his jaw. “We’ll have a meeting and take a vote.” He took staggering steps toward the door. “I won’t let you destroy us,” he said before he left.
You didn’t know if he was talking about you or Medic.
“Could you take it to the cage and lock the door?” Medic asked abruptly. “I need to prepare.”
“Sure,” you heard Sniper reply.
You looked up at Medic, wordlessly begging him not to leave you with him. “I’ll check on you later,” he promised.
Sniper took your leash from the floor and pulled. “That was a nice show,” he said as he led you to the door. “I heard you went feral and ate the poor little Mish.”
You glanced back to watch Medic pick up the plate you hadn’t finished licking. Would you get another chance to taste normal food again so soon?
“Did it taste good?” he asked and you remembered he meant her heart.
You decided not to talk to him at all.
He must have gotten the hint because he was quiet for the rest of the time as he walked you to the hidden office. He didn’t bother turning on the lights and detached your leash. “Get in,” he instructed.
You crawled closer to the open cage and noticed how cramped it was. Most of the time you had been in the cage, you had been drugged and it was the first time you were walking into it on your own. While on all fours, the cage was cramped, you needed to flop to your side and find a comfortable position to sleep before he closed the cage door.
Sniper slammed the cage door shut.
Now, you had less space to find a good position.
“You said anything I want, right?” he started. “And this isn’t a one time deal?”
Having an enemy on your side was important. You kept reminding yourself.
“That’s the deal,” you replied. “Yeah.”
“What do I have to do?” he asked.
The thing you needed the most right now was information. Their plan. How everything was executed and why the Skirmisher was the way she was. The truth. All of it.
“I want you to tell me everything first. Every detail of the plan and I only want the truth.”
“We don’t have enough time for that now, nor is this the place to tell you anything,” he chuckled. “I have reserved you for tomorrow. I’ll take you to my camper where we can have some privacy.”
Did you trust him?
Trust should be mutual.
“Okay,” you whispered. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I’d like you to do something for me right now,” he said and you heard his belt unbuckling. “Put your doggy cunt against the cage for me.”
You wanted to mumble out a no but you knew what you were getting into when you offered him the deal. If not right now, he would do this tomorrow. Did you want the truth?
Slowly, you arched your back, pressing your ass against the cage.
“That’s a good girl,” he praised. You could hear him getting on his knees and grabbing the cage for balance. “Can you bark like a dog too?”
“In your dreams,” you hissed.
He let out a soft chuckle and you felt his finger move along your folds. “Did they ever figure out who was coming here?”
You knew the answer but it was a good trump card. You had to keep it to yourself for now. “Isn’t it you?” you snapped without thinking.
Sniper laughed at that, “Do you want it to be me?” He slipped his finger inside, letting his digit thrust in and out slowly. You could feel his breath against your cunt. “I think you do,” he whispered as he pulled his finger out of you. The tip of his cock replaced his finger as he slowly inserted his length inside your cunt through the bars of the cage. Groaning in pleasure, he pulled his hips away before thrusting back full force. The impact rattled the cage walls.
Something started boiling in your tummy. Hot enough to reach your face and between your legs. You believed it was shame or something akin to anger until Sniper slammed into your pussy again and you felt your pussy sucking him in. With blushed cheeks and a new form of shame blooming deep inside, you bit your hand to suppress the whimpers that threatened to come out of your mouth with each thrust.
Sniper’s cock was dragging along your fleshy walls just right and despite everything, your body was aroused by the warm cock frantically penetrating your cunt.
“Bark like a dog,” he breathed, pulling himself out and pushing in slowly. “Bark for me, doggy.”
You stayed quiet as he picked up his pace.
“You’re no fun.”
He thrust into your cunt like an animal in heat, putting his weight into them and making the cage’s walls rattle louder. Your body moved on its own and you thrust backward to suck more of his cock into your greedy cunt.
You heard him inhale sharply before he let out a raspy groan at your walls pulsating around him. He was close, maybe one thrust away, you could feel his cock throb. Then, a sudden shock wave of electricity shot through your nerves, incapacitating you and Sniper, who was still inside you. The tip of his cock coercively spurted thick ropes of cum inside from the voltage.
When the shockwaves finally stopped and you fell limp against the bottom of the cage. You felt Sniper’s cock slide out of you in a squelching pop before you heard someone stomp closer angrily. Medic was shouting at Sniper to get out while your swollen pussy squeezed around nothing.
i have to add necrophilia, human vivisection and cannibalism to the tag list for the new lab dog chapter before i post it today. 1 year anniversary done well?
how do you deal with someone copying your writing? i recently have been informed by a reader about someone having very similar scenarios and all in their fics.
i don't want this person to get hate but also the scenarios are there yes maybe they've taken inspo from my works but they've blocked me on ao3 so i can't leave comments on their fics...
so that's kinda bugging me? they also write non-con so it's not an 'anti' thing.
i've also checked the kudos of my fics with the similar scenarios in their fics, and they've left kudos on my fics that they've copied.
idk very strange? i don't know if there's anything i need to do because i could just pass this as them taking inspo but them blocking me kind of makes me feel like they may fully copy my stuff in the future?? (on ao3 if you block someone both of you can still read each other's fics but the person you've blocked can't leave comments on your fics)
warnings for the whole fic: non-con, forced puppy play, manipulation, gaslighting, power imbalance, human experimentation, lobotomy, suicide attempt, humiliation, blood and gore, guro, alcoholism, self-harm, sexual assault, kidnapping, vomiting, death, dismemberment, murder, animal gore, animal death, diapers, piss, waterboarding, shock collars, drugging, hypnotism, cage sex, blood drinking, knife play, body horror
tldr: horror porn munkey stuff
word count: 4.4k
ao3 link
A kind hand rested in your hair. The warmth from the fingertips melted your thoughts as the sounds of nature calmed your mind. The fingers massaging your scalp stopped and you barely noticed how the rest of the room was in chaos. Their muffled voices slowly grew clear. The team was arguing on your behalf. Partially.
“I think it’s keeping quiet on purpose!” Scout said.
“It’s no use asking her, she doesn’t know since Medic drugged her,” Spy said, tapping the ash from his cigarette into the ashtray. “We should put a camera in there to monitor her.”
“That’s a good idea!” Soldier spoke abruptly. “We fill the hidden offices with cameras!”
“No,” Engineer replied, mixing his coffee with a teaspoon.
When the group around the table looked at Engineer for an explanation, Medic spoke instead. “If we put a camera in the room, it’ll show up in the RED’s radar. We can’t risk them finding out about this.”
You were forced to sit beside Medic’s chair during this meeting. He had you sitting on the floor where there was a metal bowl filled with water in front of you. You had taken a few sips when you were sure no one was looking, but there was a bell and a leash attached to the collar now. The moment you moved, the sound of the bell alerted them to movement. Luckily, they were all too busy with their meeting to care about you.
Medic tugged at the leash and you stared at him. He was reaching for his coffee and the rise of his arm must have moved the leash with it. He had been holding the leash since you came out of the cage this morning with no intent of letting it go. Although the leash allowed you to use the bathroom on your own like a normal person while he waited outside, you weren’t a fan of him having complete control over you. Yet, you weren’t capable of feeling anything right now and you didn’t know why.
Nonetheless, you knew a few things. The meeting was about you and although you couldn’t recall much of what happened previously, piecing the picture together wasn’t too difficult. One of these men had been assaulting you every night in secret while you were unconscious.
“Can’t you just admit it?” Scout whined. “Just admit it was you! I’m sick of hearing about this all the time!”
“Wasn’t me mate,” Sniper replied, you could see him tapping his foot impatiently from under the table.
“Sniper took her yesterday,” Heavy said, drumming his fingers on the table. “But he asked Medic before.”
“I thought the list was private,” Sniper scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “Is it private or not?”
“The list is private. Your reservations are between you and me. Though if you’re not spending your time with the dog in private, there’ll be observers.” His tone was strained. Something was wrong. “I made a promise when I proposed this plan,” Medic said, removing his hand from your hair. “You. Can. Do. Whatever. You. Want.” He tapped on the table to emphasize his words. “As long as you don’t kill it and it’s not during training, you can do whatever you want to it. Whoever is doing this is going against what we’ve decided. When the dog is in the cage, it needs to be alone. We can’t risk it getting killed or hurt during the night. The cage is supposed to be a safe space, we must keep it that way. If you want to fuck the dog, then do it before it’s in the cage.”
“Jesus fucking Christ, stop calling that lass a dog,” Demoman groaned in frustration.
“I believe this man is doing it in secret because he doesn’t want to be put in the same box as Sniper,” Engineer said, ignoring Demoman. “No offense.”
Sniper shrugged.
“If this man is ashamed of what he’s doing, then it has to be one of you,” Scout said. You raised your head to see over the table to check if he was pointing at anyone in particular. He wasn’t.
“It could be Scout,” Heavy scoffed. Was Heavy included in that group of people Scout mentioned just now?
“True. Scout goes after any woman that’s in the same proximity,” Sniper chuckled.
“Says you!” Scout raised his voice. “It has to be you! I saw you two outside the common room last night. You have no shame!”
How strange. That made you think of Soldier for some reason.
Sniper sipped his coffee with a smile in response to the allegation.
“He made a reservation for his time,” Medic recalled tiredly, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “He returned it before the reservation ended.”
“I cannot believe any of this,” Spy sighed audibly after taking a drag from his cigarette. “We’re wasting our time with this because what? One of you can’t keep it in your pants?” He took another quick inhale to calm his nerves. You could see how his hands were shaking.
“I need a cigarette,” Medic started, tapping his finger on the table twice. You watched as both Spy and Sniper offered him a cigarette.
Spy flicked his cigarette case open, holding it out for him and Sniper slid his pack across the table. Medic went for the Sniper’s cigarette pack and quickly placed one between his lips. He used a lighter he fished out from his pocket to light it before sliding the pack of cigarettes back to Sniper.
“I’ve gotten a sample,” he said plainly. You sort of remembered his gloved hand on your thigh, keeping your legs spread open. You had thought he was cleaning you but it made more sense that he would have collected evidence. The rest of the team was silent as Medic took a deep inhale. It was a long moment after that when he finally exhaled, his hand returned to your head, his fingers were buried under your hair to massage your scalp. “I’ll take a sample from all of you before noon. We’ll finish this today.”
“Nuh-uh,” Scout replied. “I’m not doing that.”
“Is that a confession?” Sniper taunted.
“No!” Scout shouted, looking around the table. “It’s just weird! I’m not gonna jerk it into a cup and give it to Medic!”
“Be serious!” Spy raised his voice. “If it means that we’ll find the culprit without a fuss, you’ll do as you’re told.”
“Or we do it if it happens again!” Scout said.
“You know, this makes you look oddly suspicious, boy,” Engineer said with a scoff, unable to contain himself.
“Perhaps I should only take your sample to save everyone’s time,” Medic sighed, cigarette smoke spilling from his lips. “Any objections?”
You watched as nobody other than Scout raised his arm to object. He looked around the table in disbelief. “It’s not me!” he shouted. “This is stupid!"
“Great!” Medic’s fingers rubbed just the right spot on your head, and you leaned into his touch until your temple was against his thigh. The “I’ll see you in my office, Scout.” He patted your head lightly with a chuckle, “Let’s move to another issue. Please, Engineer.”
“Thanks, doc,” Engineer said after taking a big gulp from his coffee. He cleared his throat as he began speaking, “I’ve received information about a mission in three days. It’ll be another battle on the field.”
“What’s the problem?” Soldier asked.
“We need to get a word from the new Skirmisher. I’m sure a quick exchange will do. We need to know if the REDs suspect anything and if things are going well.”
“And? How’s that a problem?” Demoman sighed audibly.
“(name),” Spy replied. “She’s reluctant to talk to the RED Skirmisher.”
The sounds of nature stopped for a moment. RED Skirmisher, that was you. Were they talking about you?
Medic’s fingers rubbed your scalp firmly, and your furrowed brows became relaxed. You could feel the breeze on your skin as the birdsong returned with the rustling leaves.
“Well, she doesn’t have to,” Scout mumbled.
“We need to think of every possibility. During the battle, she could be the only one who gets the chance to hear from the replacement,” Engineer explained.
“I’ll talk to her,” Medic said.
“Go easy on her,” Spy said. He met your gaze and spoke with a look of discomfort. “She needs time. She thinks you’ll send her back.”
“She still believes that?” Scout asked, barely containing his anger. “We should’ve raided them sooner. What kind of sick torture did they do to her?”
“I mean, at this point, who knows if they switched them or not,” Engineer sighed. “Half of the documents were blacked out.”
“Our lass is paranoid,” Demoman said. “That bastard RED Medic has done irreparable damage to her.”
“She tell me she has nightmare every day. Skirmisher is strong weapon but (name) confused. I think Medic’s experiment bring bad memories back. We must stay patient.” Heavy’s words laid the base for another argument.
“I’ve said this from the beginning,” Spy started, glaring at Medic. “Your research has cost us (name)’s peace of mind.”
“It was our research,” Medic corrected, his fingers in your hair were no longer gentle. You attempted to move away from him but he had wrapped his fingers in your hair, tugging you hard and keeping you in place. Your weak hands grabbed his wrist, trying to pull yourself free. He tugged your hair harder before abruptly letting you go.“Was it not? Or what would you rather call what you were doing in the RED base?”
Someone was screaming, which disturbed nature. The blood-curdling scream bounced off the trees and scared the birds, they flew away. The breeze stopped. It was getting quiet again.
“Stop this.” Spy’s jaw was clenched, you looked between him and Medic, back and forth. They were glaring at each other. If there hadn’t been a table to separate them, they might have been on each other’s throats. The tension in the air was thick. The rest of the team had gone silent. “You know I wouldn’t have done something that didn’t have to be done.”
Medic tugged at your leash and looked at you. “Do you believe him?”
What did that have to do with you?
“What?” you questioned. “What did he do?”
That made a few people stifle their laughter.
Medic gestured to Spy to talk. “What did you do, Spy?” he echoed, glaring at the man.
Spy put out his cigarette on the ashtray. He refused to look at you, his eyes were glued on Medic’s. “I did everything you ordered me to. I led her to consider extermination. I collected intel and I made them distrust each other. The rest is confidential.”
“It’s a dog,” Medic scoffed. “Who will it tell? What will it do with this information? There’s no need for confidentiality.”
Shifting in his seat in discomfort, Spy spoke through his teeth, almost hissing. “Is this necessary?”
“Remember, friend,” Medic spoke. “You’re not morally above any of us. Behaving like you’re better than us will only alienate you.”
“I never said I was above you,” Spy objected. “I worry about (name).”
“We all do,” Engineer replied. “What Medic did was for the sake of us. And you have to accept that Mish’s just jealous and threatened by the dog’s presence. She’ll say and do anything to end this. She’d be fine if she took her meds but you’re not giving them to her.”
Medic abruptly slammed his hands on the table and stood up, knocking his chair to the floor. “Tell me it’s not true!” You stared at him and your eyes slowly trailed down his arms to his empty hands. He wasn’t holding your leash anymore. It was on the floor.
“She refuses to take them,” Spy replied.
That was all it took for the entire team to stand up.
Were they going to fight?
Medic tried to move to get to Spy in anger, but Heavy and Soldier held him back. “Are none of you sticking to the plan?! Is there anyone left that I can trust?! Don’t you believe in me?!”
You crawled backward, away from the men who soon could end up having a fistfight. Yet, you were forced to a stop when someone stepped on your leash. Staring at the black combat boot on top of your leash, you watched a scarred hand reach and take the leash into his hand.
Looking up, you met Pyro’s gaze. Since he hadn’t spoken at all during the meeting, you had forgotten his presence in the room. He pulled at your leash and effortlessly moved you closer to him. Despite trying to resist, your palms and knees slid across the smooth floor as he started walking.
You ended up being pulled out of the conference room and decided to crawl when the pressure on your neck became unbearable. The rest of the team was still arguing and trying to resolve the conflict. Their angry words grew distant with every step further down the corridor.
Awareness returned. What were they talking about back there?
Pyro tugged on your leash as he made a turn, which made the bell on your collar jingle. Following his lead, you began wondering where he was taking you. He had taken you in the midst of an argument, had anyone noticed your absence?
When he stopped to close a door, you noticed that he had brought you to what you guessed was the BLU's private office. Approaching the desk, he opened a drawer and then another, searching through them for something.
You took this moment to look at him. He wasn’t wearing anything to cover himself, unlike the Pyro you knew. And unlike the Pyro you knew, his face was somewhat recognizable as to who he once was. It was bothering you because he had been exterminated. He should have had your Pyro’s exact face. Did Medic help him heal? Even then, your Pyro’s deep scars were supposed to be impossible to fix with a medi-gun. What was worse was that he didn't have the neck tattoo you gave him either.
A stinging pain struck through your head, making you lose your train of thought. Blinking slowly, you returned your eyes to his face.
He did have the deliberate cuts around his neck and what was left of his lips. The healed cuts on his neck went all the way around, it horribly resembled a necklace. You couldn’t tell if the scars came from a rope, a blade, or both. There were a few deep vertical cuts on his cheek and you had no idea how he must have gotten them, and half of his upper lip was cut off or ripped off, exposing some of his teeth. The side of his neck, ear, and half of his head were deformed from burn scars.
You didn’t get to study him any further when he dropped a knife in front of you.
It clattered against the floor, its blade catching the light above and blinding you for a moment.
When you looked at the blade, you felt your limbs turn to stone as you saw your reflection on the blade. You couldn’t recognize yourself.
Were you sure it was you?
A thought emerged. Someone was screaming in the back of your mind. It sounded like you.
You should use the knife.
Your body wouldn’t move.
Use it how?
Why would you use it?
Your temple began pulsating as a sharp pain stung the side of your head. You were having a terrible headache.
This was your chance! For something!..
…
?
What?
Think.
Maybe if you grabbed the knife, you could remember what you needed to do.
However, you couldn’t lift your hand to reach for it. Your hands were planted hard against the floor, impossible to move.
You heard Pyro move and looked at him to find him kneeling in front of you. It surprised you. He was so close. He stared at you wordlessly, waiting for you to do something.
What?
Did he expect you to do something with the knife?
His hands and arms were covered in cuts and burn scars.
Cuts.
You could use the knife to cut yourself.
Your hands?
No.
That wouldn’t be enough.
?
You needed to stab.
Why?
To end something.
Your life?
Your breath hitched, staring at the blade, you saw the trees. You could hear the birdsong and feel the breeze that rustled the leaves. Under your palms, the hard floor changed texture. Your fingers dug into the dirt, sinking slowly back into the earth.
It struck you like lightning, an order that was burned into your brain.
You can’t kill yourself.
Your pulse quickened, and you could feel your heart beating against your ribcage. No matter how much you tried, your hands wouldn’t move. You couldn’t grab the knife to end the torture. It was physically impossible.
You stared at it with teary eyes, wheezing because you forgot to breathe.
What was that?
Why couldn’t you pick the knife up?
Had they brainwashed you to prevent you from harming yourself?
You took a deep breath to calm yourself. There had to be another way. If you weren’t able to do it, you could make someone else do it for you.
Pyro.
Lifting your head, you looked up at him, trembling as you spoke. “Kill me, please.”
Upon your words, Pyro took the knife in his hand and you froze as he put the sharp tip against your throat.
Was that really what you wanted?
If you died, they would get away with everything. Your team would never know what happened to you.
You didn’t want to die.
You didn’t want to die but it was horrifying to let this continue. You were so tired. Your body was giving up on you. You were too weak. It was only a matter of time before you actually lost yourself and became whatever Medic wanted you to be. What if things got even worse and you never escaped here? What if you stayed as a woman-turned-dog forever and were kept as a trophy or a reminder of his godly accomplishment? Wouldn’t death be kinder?
Tears ran down your cheeks, you took a shuddering breath and looked at Pyro. His expression was unreadable. In the end, it was his decision to kill you now.
You felt the tip of the knife breach the skin slowly. Holding your breath, you watched him with teary eyes as he dragged the knife down. From your throat to your chest. The trail it took stung. At last, the tip was against your chest, resting in the middle between your breasts. It wouldn’t be painless but it would be quick. Medic wouldn’t have enough time to fix his broken toy.
Pyro placed his free hand on your shoulder and pressed the knife harder against your chest. You felt the tip go inside, your eyes grew wide at the sharp pain and a gasp left your lips. The warm blood started trickling down from between your breasts to your stomach.
Your hands went to grab him for leverage but he was slowly pushing you back with his hand on your shoulder. Like a lamb to the slaughter, you let him lie you down with your back on the floor. There would be less resistance then and less fear, as you gazed up at the bright fluorescent light on the ceiling.
His hand firmly squeezed your shoulder as if to let you know he was going to do it.
Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath, waiting for the embrace of death. It didn’t take too long before the hand on your shoulder slid down to your chest. Your eyes snapped open but before you could react any further, you felt his tongue replace the knife. His hand on your chest groped your breast and his scarred lips pressed against your skin as he licked the blood coming out of where he cut you.
You abruptly sat up and kicked at the floor weakly until your back was against the desk’s drawers. He stayed where he was, watching you silently. Blood dripped down from his lips, his exposed teeth were stained red. He resembled a shark with how extremely his irises were dilated. Breathing heavily, your eyes searched for the knife. Although you knew you wouldn’t be able to use it, you weren’t sure if he wanted to kill you or torture you. Putting distance between the two of you and locating the knife would make you calmer. Medic would notice your absence soon to get you.
Pyro was still holding the knife and it was stabbed deep into his thigh. His pants had a growing stain of blood, yet he looked indifferent to it all. He put his free hand on the floor for balance and moved closer.
“Don’t!” you warned, pointing your finger at him. You had no idea what was going through his head and it couldn’t be anything good.
He ignored your warning and you helplessly watched as he pulled out the knife from his thigh to awkwardly approach you. He raised the knife as if to show it to you. Half of the blade was covered in his blood. You glanced back and forth between him and the knife, you didn’t understand what he was doing. Your breaths were becoming uneven and heavy.
Putting his free hand on your face, he caressed your cheek with his thumb and brought the knife up to your lips. You pressed them together instinctively as he wiped his blood on your mouth from the blade. When you refused to open your mouth, he grabbed your face and squeezed the sides of your face until your mouth was forced open. He deliberately wiped the bloody knife against your lips. His dark eyes were on your lips, watching while the sharp tip grazed your bottom lip and dragged the soft skin down. He glanced up at you for your reaction. You didn’t give him any.
Suddenly, you saw him stab himself in the upper thigh. He didn’t look away from you for a second, watching your expressions. You couldn’t fight to keep your face straight, you gave him a reaction. An unnoticeable smile tugged at his grotesque lips. He loosened his grip on the handle of the knife and left it stabbed into his thigh. Putting his hand on his thigh, his fingers slowly found the previous stab wound before he dipped his fingers inside.
You watched in terror as he brought the fingers dipped in blood up to your lips. The tips of his fingers had small droplets ready to drip down. You tried struggling but he was squeezing your cheeks harder to keep your mouth open and you didn’t have nails on your hands to dig into his skin to fight back anymore. He placed his foremost fingers gently on your lips, smearing the blood on them like lipstick. His fingerpads hovered over your bottom lip, leaving a ticklish sensation. He leaned closer before pushing his digits into your mouth.
His fingerpads pressed against your tongue as he deeply exhaled. You hadn’t eaten in so long that the taste of blood wasn’t unpleasant. The metallic smell and taste were making your mouth water, so you swallowed around his fingers to not drool. Pyro let out a soft gasp in response.
Releasing your face, he focused on pressing his fingers on your tongue.
Big mistake, you thought as you bit on his fingers with all of your jaw strength. This made Pyro’s eyes widen and he let out a pained grunt but he didn’t stop you or try to pull his fingers out of your mouth. Instead, he pulled out his fully erect cock from his pants and wrapped his free hand around his girth.
Biting harder, you felt the skin break and more blood flooded your mouth. You swallowed again without thinking. Pyro let out a shuddered breath, his hand moving faster on his cock. His eyes were dark, his brows were furrowed and his lips were spilling hushed whimpers as he looked at you in need.
When you held his gaze, you could see his arm moving faster from the corner of your eye. His fingers in your mouth were trembling as the tips curled over your tongue and you felt him push them further. That made you gag and instinctively turn your face away to get his fingers out of your mouth.
Once his bitten hand was free, Pyro replaced his dry hand around his cock with the one that was covered in his blood and your saliva. Now, each pump made a nasty squelching sound. You watched in horror while the blood painted the length of his cock into a dark, patchy orange color.
Decidedly, he used his free hand to take some of your hair into his hand and sniffed as he rapidly rubbed his bloodied cock.
He still hadn’t looked away, you noticed when you couldn’t look at what he was doing anymore. The uncomfortable eye contact was also becoming too intense for you. Especially with how vigorously he was jerking himself off.
Grunting, Pyro deeply inhaled the scent of your hair one last time before taking your hand in his. Bringing your hand up to his face, he pressed his deformed lips against your knuckles. You felt his hot breath on your fingers as he let out a shaky sigh. Placing your bandaged fingers on his bottom lip, he made you trail over it and moved onto his top lip. Starting from the intact corner of his lips, he was slowly leading you to the damaged side. He didn’t let your finger trace over the deformed part of his lips and instead brought your fingers to his scarred cheekbones to lean his cheek into your warm palm while he quickened his pace. He was close. You could tell from how bad he was twitching.
The door to the office swung open and you froze in surprise. Pyro buried his face into your chest and covered himself, leaving your hand on his cheek mid-air. You stared at the door to see Medic. He let out a sigh as if he was relieved. “I apologize, Pyro. I forgot about your reservation,” he said with a smile, closing the door slowly. “Please continue.”
hi monky I love your writing so much. I ran out of the jjk/chainsaw man ones so I started reading the tft ones. I don’t know who any of these people are but all that matters is your amazing psychological horror. you are the only writer I would read literally anything from. you could write a linkedin post and I would still eat it up.
thank youuu, dear reader!!! honestly, i can't thank you enough for trusting my writing and vision to read from a fandom you don't know!! it's an honor and i'll make sure to continue writing stuff you'll enjoy!! <333
also here's an image of prof. dr. munkey trying to write a post on the manmade horrors website...
on another note i do feel bad for not posting as much jjk and csm nowadays since most of my followers do come here for these fandoms but i'm glad sooo glad you're enjoying the tf2 fics!!! if you're reading lab dog, i promise you won't regret it!! that fic is my horror porn masterpiece and we barely got to the horror porn... lol i'm rubbing my hands and giggling because i know you'll love it!! ehehe
warnings for the whole fic: non-con, forced puppy play, manipulation, gaslighting, power imbalance, human experimentation, lobotomy, suicide attempt, humiliation, blood and gore, guro, alcoholism, self-harm, sexual assault, kidnapping, vomiting, death, dismemberment, murder, animal gore, animal death, diapers, piss, waterboarding, shock collars, drugging, hypnotism, cage sex
tldr: horror porn munkey stuff
word count: 5.6k
ao3 link
You were forced to crawl out of the showers. Scout left to change his clothes and Soldier led you to the dining hall while walking beside you. He didn’t talk or kick you when you stopped every few meters to rest. Your knees were going to bruise, they hurt terribly but the shame of being naked while crawling on all fours was far worse. You stared down as you crawled, your damp hair worked like a curtain, falling around your face and hiding that shame marring your features.
Psychological torture.
Remember.
Remember, you couldn’t let them win.
“Right!” Soldier shouted, announcing the change of direction.
You had to be inside the dining hall, you could hear some chatter and the clinking of cutlery. It wasn’t as eerily quiet as the corridors and you could focus on the ambient noises rather than drowning in your thoughts. However, you weren’t allowed a moment of peace. The chatter died out as soon as you made it to the middle of the room.
“Halt!” Soldier marched in his place as he ordered you to stop moving.
Stopping crawling, you sat on the floor to rest. You didn’t lift your head to look at the enemy. Through your hair, you could faintly see the shiny black shoes and the chair legs. You were next to their dining table.
“Thank you, Soldier,” Medic said. “I’ll take it from here.”
You could hear Soldier’s heavy footsteps move further away as you heard a small metal clutter. In the same second, a bowl was dropped in front of you. The rancid smell of raw meat hit your nose first and you stared at chum-like food in the metal bowl. Gagging at the sight, you brought the back of your hand up to your face to cover your nose.
“That’s your meal for today,” Medic said, the cutlery scratching against his plate as he spoke. “Or go hungry until dinner.”
Your stomach was rumbling in hunger but you could endure it, you weren’t going to let him humiliate you back to back. You pushed the bowl away until you couldn’t smell its stink anymore but you caught a glimpse of a small engraving on the side. Turning the bowl, you clenched your jaw at the sight.
‘DOG’
The engraved letters were bold and mocking. Something they probably bought from the pet store downtown.
“I’m not a dog,” you whispered weakly.
“You will be,” was Medic’s response.
Gritting your teeth, you lifted your head to look at him but something else caught your attention in your peripheral vision. Sitting across from Medic, a hand was reaching beneath the table with a piece of bread. With the other hand, the man was palming himself hard while beckoning you with the piece of bread.
Your head was almost aligned with the table, when you glanced above the table, you found Sniper across from you smiling. “Come doggy, let me pet you.”
Medic chuckled in between bites. When you glared at him, he met your gaze and gave an apologetic smile. “Excuse me,” he said in a sincere tone, catching you off guard and his hand landed on top of your head. He gently patted. “I think we have two vastly different ideas of petting.”
Leaning away from his touch, you tried to ignore Sniper. Below the table, he was palming himself firmly but he wasn’t trying to bait you with the bread anymore. He made kissy noises to get your attention, “Come puppy.”
Relax, you reminded yourself. Any sudden outbursts could result in getting shocked. You had to preserve your strength for the right moment. It would come soon. A small moment they would overlook because they believe you had given up. You were going home tomorrow if not today.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” Medic’s voice made you look at him. Was he talking to you? By the way he looked down at you, he had to be.
You wanted to spit at his face. Did he expect you to eat that? Never in a million years would you willingly eat that rancid glob of suspicious meat. “I’m not hungry.”
Medic gave a small sigh, you could see Sniper’s hand moving hastily in your peripheral vision. “I think you should eat, you need to gather your strength."
Was he mocking you? He could guess that was what you were thinking and wanted to make fun of you. “No, thanks.” You glanced at Sniper, who had his cock in a tight fist, you could see the tip poke out of his hand with each pump. Did he not care that he was in a common space? You could hear some other people in the background too, did he have no shame?
Medic’s chair scraped against the floor as he stood up. “If you’re not going to eat, could I give this to Boncuk?”
You turned to look at him, “What?” Though as soon as you asked, you remembered the cat from before.
“My cat,” he replied with a smile. It looked almost genuine. Maybe it was.
So, you were eating the same food as a cat. How great!
He stood there, looking at you like he was waiting for your answer. What would he do if you said no? You looked away and found yourself staring at Sniper rubbing his cock again. Closing your eyes, you gave a soft reply, “No.”
“Shame. I thought we were making progress rather quickly.” Looking back up at him, you saw the smile on his face slowly disappear. “We need to work on your resource guarding,” he said.
“I’m not a dog,” you replied in frustration. Sniper’s hand was moving faster. You couldn’t take it anymore. You stood up while covering your chest. “Give that to your cat. I don’t care! Don’t treat me like a dog!”
Now, you could see the rest of the people in the dining room. Heavy and Demoman were sitting further away from the table, and they were looking at you. What surprised you was how Pyro looked. Pyro was…
Sniper let out a groan, biting his knuckle to suppress any more noises. Both you and Medic stared at him in confusion as he chuckled against his hand.
Medic rolled his eyes and returned his gaze to you. “Sit.”
You didn’t comply.
“Sit,” he demanded, his hand reaching into his pocket.
Did you want to be shocked? Were you going to let him humiliate you again?
You were about to decide when you felt something against your leg and jolted in surprise. Looking down, you saw the cat rubbing against your legs.
Medic removed his hand from the pocket. He wasn’t holding anything.
Did he decide not to punish you?
He had a wary look on his face as he watched the cat. “Gel Boncuk,” he softly spoke as he snapped his fingers repeatedly to get the cat’s attention. “Gel pisi pisi.”
The cat was rubbing on your legs, her tail wrapping along the back of your knees. It was ignoring Medic. Out of the sudden, the realization dawned on you and you quickly leaned down to take the cat in your arms. The cat didn’t protest, purring against your chest as you held her tightly against yourself. A sickening smile was on your face as you stepped back.
“Put her down,” Medic said, his tone was unreadable but the dark expression on his face was frightening.
You took a few more steps back. The rest of the people in the dining room were just as alarmed as he was, they stood and watched you carefully. Medic wouldn’t risk shocking you if it meant getting his cat killed, as it seemed. The others had to know this too.
This was the moment you had been waiting for.
“If you put her down, I won’t punish you,” Medic said.
The dining room was close to their weaponry, you remembered the route. If you ran with the cat, he wouldn’t shock you to stop you. Once in there, you could kill yourself to go back home.
What if you didn’t respawn?
What if Scout was telling the truth?
No. They were trying to control you.
“PUT HER DOWN!”
Startled, you froze, chills running down your spine. The cat in your arms was also scared but you held her tighter to prevent her from jumping down. You had never heard Medic shout like that. Were you making a mistake?
You weren’t going to be here long enough to know anyway. Turning around on your heels, you started running. Your breath came in shallow gasps as you ran out of the dining hall and down the corridor leading to the weaponry, your body was trembling with terror. The cat was uncomfortably digging its claws into your arms, so you pressed her firmly against your chest to calm it down.
Your own heartbeat was all you could hear and the rest of the noises were muffled as if your ears were filled with cotton.
Focus on running!
Pain struck your legs first. Your legs were too weak and it was uncomfortable to force your body to run.
Were you going to let this moment go to waste?
Absolutely not.
You tried not to put too much pressure on your right leg and started limping. They wouldn’t be able to catch up to you since you had a good headstart.
While you were hyper focused on running, you had forgotten to breathe. The moment you sucked in some air, you couldn’t help but cough uncontrollably. Your lungs were too weak to let you keep the air you inhaled.
Don’t stop!
You could see the door.
The door to the weaponry was right there. Just a little more!
You were almost there. A couple of more strides!
Three more.
Two.
You kept the cat pressed against your chest with one arm and grabbed the door handle. Before you could even open the door, a sudden and violent blow to your back stopped you. Your spine was boiling where you felt the impact. First, your arms fell to your sides involuntarily, the cat you were holding jumped down and landed perfectly on the floor as you tried to breathe but couldn’t. That was when you were pushed to the ground and fell on your back hard. The second blow to your back sent shockwaves through your nerves. Your mouth kept opening and closing like a fish, you could feel your chest heaving but no air could travel inside you. Barely a second had passed but the pain and the panic made it feel like hours.
Scout was standing above you with a metal bat, trying to catch his breath. He wiped off the sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand. He let out a breathless laugh while looking down at you.
Coughing, you finally got some air in your lungs as you inhaled in short gasps. You saw Medic in your vision next to Scout, he was holding his dear cat in his arms. He looked absolutely out of it.
He said something to Scout, you couldn’t hear as you were greedily inhaling more air and coughing violently instead of exhaling. Scout reached into his pocket and pulled out the familiar device.
You didn’t get to react before the shockwaves assaulted your muscles and nerves. Losing control of your body, you were spasming against the floor. Your body temperature kept rising to the point that you believed your skin was about to catch on fire.
A little taste of hell before you could return to heaven. Right? Would you be able to die now and return home from this?
They didn’t allow you. The shockwaves stopped. You weren’t allowed to die.
You couldn’t move, your limbs were too heavy, even your eyelids. You couldn’t think. You could see two figures in your blurry vision. Exhausted, you couldn’t fight off your eyelids from closing.
~~~
“You smell perfect.” His mouth was on your neck, his lips brushing against your sensitive skin. You wouldn’t have heard him if the live performance hadn’t ended.
Raising your shoulders in response to feeling ticklish, you giggled. He wrapped his arms tighter around you to keep you in place, embracing you from the back. “What would the coworkers think?” You were smiling as you tried to break free from his embrace. The bartender put the refilled beer in front of you on the counter.
“What would they think?” he asked into your hair.
“I don’t know…” You turned your head to try to face him but ended up locking eyes with Medic from across the bar. The rest of the team around the table was busy talking to each other while he was watching the two of you.
It felt awkward.
“They’d just be jealous,” he replied while pressing a kiss against your jaw.
~~~
You were strapped to a gurney with a medi-gun’s beam on you. This was the hidden room, you recognized it immediately when you saw the specimens in the glass jars decorating the place. Frenziedly, you began tugging at the restraints on your wrists and ankles as soon as you gained control of your body. They were far too tight for your hands to pull free and your body was still weak. The medi-gun attached to you had to be the one he mentioned before. Accelerated healing instead of restoring your health. Wait. If it were healing you, then wouldn’t it let you regain some strength? Why was your body still so weak?
“I hate dogs.”
With the speed at which you turned your head, you felt your neck strain.
Medic stepped closer with a tray. You could hear the wheels of the tray rolling against the tile. He was wearing his lab coat and glasses.
“You hate dogs but you want me to act like one?” you replied. “You know I’ll never play along to satisfy your sick fantasy. It’d be easier to get a real dog if you want one so bad.”
“I’m training you to become one,” he said, looking at you over his glasses. “I don’t enjoy obedient animals and owning a dog is the last thing I want in my too-long life.”
You couldn’t help but scoff as he turned off the medi-gun. “Then why do this?”
He was facing away from you but the anticipation in his voice was tangible. “Dogs are too easy to control. I like the challenge of taming a wild animal. Though I haven’t gotten the chance with that, doing the complete opposite is a promising challenge.” Glancing over his shoulder, he let you have a glimpse of the sinister glint in his eyes. “It’s a moment to prove myself as God. If humanity tamed wolves and domesticated them into dogs, then God could turn a feral human into a well-behaved dog.”
“What makes you think I’ll ever submit to you?” He couldn’t be more insane.
He moved closer to the gurney, pulling the tray to his side. There were various instruments on the tray. “It won’t be easy but it’ll happen.”
“I’m getting sick of this game. Just kill me and send me back unless you want me to kill your beloved cat.” You were panicking. You didn’t want to suffer anymore.
He froze, his shoulders stiffened at the threat. The look in his eyes was enough to make you recoil. “That won’t happen again,” he said, almost to himself. “I’d never considered that she would mistake you for (name). Regardless, you will be punished after this.”
“It will happen again,” you smirked, your eyes widening in fear and anxiety. “I will kill that cat unless you kill me first. I’m not gonna play this game with you.”
“You won’t be able to harm her or yourself again,” he replied. His naked hand went to your face as he moved some hair away from your face. “What will you accomplish by killing yourself?”
You leaned away from his touch as his knuckles hovered over your cheek. “Going back to my team.”
He didn’t speak for a moment. You looked at him for an answer and your stomach dropped at the sight. He looked at you like you were an injured animal, something pitiful. It confirmed what Scout had said before. “You won’t respawn at all. You’re no longer in the RED respawn system. Not in ours either. You will simply cease to exist.”
Was it the truth or a lie to stop you from killing yourself?
“That’s not possible,” you said, confused. The company policies were strict about the use of the respawn systems. You weren’t allowed to tinker with anything besides updating the respawn data. How? “How?”
He sighed, caressing your cheek. You didn’t lean away this time. It made him smile. “It took a lot of trial and error. Months of research and a year long investigation.” He leaned on the gurney, he smelled of cigarettes. “We had to figure out a way to turn you back to normal.”
Normal?
What did he mean?
“When nothing worked, I decided to take matters into my own hands.” He petted your hair gently, it was sickeningly intimate. “I had to use my dear (name) for research. I did everything he could’ve done to you but I must’ve not been cruel enough. Or perhaps it was by mere luck that he did this to you.”
“Who? Medic? What did he do?” Were you being manipulated?
Medic nodded and looked at you with affection behind his glasses as he pressed a finger against your forehead. “Lobotomy.”
Your eyes widened, your breath hitching slightly as you processed what he said. “What?”
“I suspect that it happened approximately a year and a half ago or perhaps two years ago. That was around the time you started becoming a problem for our team.”
“He didn’t,” you denied. “He’s not like you-”
“He is me and I am he. Besides, the proof is there,” he said, tilting his head to gesture behind him where you could see your severed head in that glass jar and tapped his finger on your forehead. “And in here.”
You stared at him. Was he telling the truth or lying? It had to be a lie but deep down, you were doubting yourself. Two years ago. You didn’t remember much from that point. It had all been a blur. Wasn’t it around the time you started drinking? Yeah… You had to be drunk around that time constantly, that explained everything. He was lying.
Don’t let him break you.
“I tried to replicate what he has done many times but it just wouldn’t work. Our Pyro even exterminated himself for more information. Thus, I thought of something amidst his extermination.” He caressed your face softly. “We could influence you for an extermination.”
There was a chill running down your spine. Voices in your head were telling you not to listen anymore. He was trying to break you.
“During this time, I was continuing my experiments with our dear (name). I had a certain understanding of the respawn system. Respawn wouldn’t produce a body unless the previous body were still animate.” Gently, he took some of your hair into his hand and took an inhale. “It took months but I was able to assist her death and bring her back just after she respawned. Necromancy!” he chuckled as he watched your reaction. Was he expecting you to laugh?
“Isn’t it against the policy? Our contracts prohibit-”
“I’ve discussed this with the Administrator. I was given the green light to proceed with my experiments. The (name) I brought back would stay here but we would make a switch with you and the respawned Skirmisher. The Skirmisher who took your place would become part of the team without any connection to us. There wouldn’t be any further sabotages and she would fight for the RED team against us. I took it in my own hands to make the RED team equal to our team again. Think of it as balancing the teams for fair play.”
They would notice it wasn’t you. “They will know it’s not me.”
“She’s you,” he replied. “The only difference will be her performance during missions. Though she will blame being sober for this decline. I planned everything thoroughly so as not to let them suspect anything.”
He had planned every detail. Every small detail to get you out of the picture. Why would he even go that far? And if he got what he wanted, why wouldn’t he kill you?
Was that why BLU Skirmisher wanted to kill you last night? Because she knew this dog thing would go too far? No, this was all a lie.
Why would the Administrator allow this?
Even if everything he said was true, there was no reason for him to keep you alive.
Wait. Was he telling you all of this because he was going to kill you? That had to mean he was telling the truth. Why else would he tell you their plans and details if he was sure you could never leak this information to your team?
“Then why are you keeping me alive?” you asked, biting your lips to prevent them from trembling. Maybe there was a way out of this.
He moved away to get a good look at your face with an uncertain smile. “We took a vote.” His hand stayed on your head as his thumb slowly petted your hair. “All but three voted against killing you. Letting you get away with everything would be too kind. After all, you’ve cost us many losses. When I proposed this plan to strip you of your humanity and keep you like a dog, we took another vote. We ended up with the same results,” he chuckled as he said it. “In the end, you’ll be euthanized once I’m satisfied with this passion project. That’s why I’m grateful that you’re fighting back and making this an enjoyable challenge for me.”
Your body couldn’t stop shivering, and you hadn’t even noticed how much you were sweating until the cold sweat started sticking to your skin. “You’re lying. You’re just lying.”
Sighing, he pulled his hand away from you. “Why would I lie to a dog?”
“I’m not a dog!” You spoke through your teeth, spitting. “Let me go!”
“Then what?” he asked mockingly. “Will you go to the REDs? They’ve already replaced you. You were a problem for them as much as you were to us. Do you think they’d choose an abandoned dog over a trained mercenary?”
They would accept you. You were a part of your team.
“They’d choose me…” You replied, uncertainty spilling from your lips. You watched him put on gloves. “What are you doing?”
He ignored your question as he nodded, grabbed a syringe from the tray and flicked his finger on it until the air bubbles were pushed out. “They chose you before but you still ended up here,” he said as he pushed the syringe into your arm and injected you with something.
“What? Wait, what was that?”
He didn’t reply.
Were you going to die? What was he doing? You didn’t want to die if it meant staying dead. There were too many things that were left unfinished. You had so much to do. You still hadn’t heard Ludwig’s answer…
His name spilled out from your lips in a prayer, begging. “Ludwig, please…”
He paused as he was pulling the needle out of your arm. “Ludwig?” he asked, sneering. “Is that what he said his name was?”
“What do you mean?” Confused.
“Relax,” he said softly. Your body loosened at his words, you stopped pulling at the restraints. Smiling, he set the syringe down on the tray before grabbing something else.
You blinked slowly. In the next second, he was awfully close, placing cold metal under your eyelids that didn't let you blink. You tried blinking harder, but your eyelids didn’t move. Your eyes were forced to stay open.
“Shh,” he shushed gently before you started to panic and pressed your head back on the gurney. “Look ahead,” he instructed and you found yourself staring at the projector in front of you.
It was displaying a film of nature, oddly calming. There was no audio but you could hear the birdsong and the wind.
“Can you hear them?” he asked.
“Yes,” you answered, your mouth was feeling numb.
“(name) told me something,” he started. The trees were so green. The sunlight was blinding you from between the gaps of the leaves as the breeze passed through them. “Can you tell me?”
“What?” The breeze rustled the leaves. The sunlight was similar to a flashing light now.
“There was a cruel, cruel dog,” he whispered. “What happened to that cruel dog?”
Your mouth opened, numbness slowly spreading. Your brain shuffled past your memories in mere seconds. “I-I don’t know?”
“You don’t know? Or perhaps you don’t remember?”
He spoke so softly, it was like he was in your head. The sunlight was kissing your skin, the breeze soothing you where the sun kissed. The smell of earth filled your nose. You took a deep breath.
“I found that individuals with repressed memories are easier candidates for hypnosis.”
Beneath your fingers, the soil was soft. Critters were crawling all over you, slowly, and you were becoming one with the dirt. Digging your fingers into the ground, you stared up at the gaps of sunlight with a smile, sinking further down into the dirt. “Hypnosis? That’s not real,” you replied.
“It is,” his voice was growing distant. He was standing above you as you continued to sink. He raised his open hand and met your gaze, “When I snap my fingers, you will enter a trance.”
“It won’t work,” you giggled. The breeze stopped. The trees grew oddly still as he smiled down at you. The voices in your head were getting louder. You could hear yourself scream in your ears. Your body floated and sank as if you were
F
A
L
L
I
N
G
.
It won’t work.
It won’t work.
It won’t work.
It won’t work.
It won’t work.
It won’t work.
It won’t work.
It won’t work.
It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work. It won’t work.
Medic was smiling as the dirt filled your mouth and lungs.
Why weren’t you digging yourself out?
Ama iyisi mi senin kediye geçirdiğin pençelerin sökülür.
Evcil bir köpecik miyiz yoksa kuduz bir sokak iti mi?
Karar verip ona göre davranalım. Hangisini tercih edersin? Köpek gibi terbiye edilmeyi mi? İt gibi mi?
Ona göre devam edelim.
Wake up. He’s going to turn you into a dog.
This is not real.
Snap.
.
.
.
.
…
Between your teeth, the meat’s texture was odd. Raw and chewy but the taste was somewhat familiar. Gamey. You chewed harder and heard a crunch. Staring down at your meal, you saw blood on a familiar patterned fur.
Back then, you really should have buried her.
The acidic taste of vomit hit you suddenly as you vomited violently.
“Jesus! I’m not cleaning that!” Scout’s voice was muffled.
Retching harder, you emptied your stomach. In front of you was now vomit covered metal bowl and the chum-like pinkish meat. Had you been eating that?
“Please, must she be here while we’re having dinner? It’s disgusting!” Spy’s voice was upset.
Your hands went to cover your mouth. The aftertaste of the meat was terrible, it made you retch more but nothing else would come out. Your fingers went into your mouth to try to dig out bits of the meat between your teeth and scrape it off your tongue. Hurling, you let out a sound closer to a panicked scream.
A large warm hand landed on your back, petting you gently to calm you. “I’ll clean.” It was Heavy’s voice.
“Do you want me to come with you?” Medic asked.
“Heavy will handle it.”
He helped you stand up and you stared around in confusion. You were in the dining room and the entire team was in here. They all stared at you in disgust. You met eyes with Medic, who looked at you over his drink.
You scanned the room blankly. You felt like you were floating, like you were weightless. It felt too foreign.
“Mom? I-I’m scared,” you whimpered, tears running down your cheeks.
The room erupted with laughter.
The noise was all so sudden, your hands went to cover your ears as you stared at them. What was so funny?
Heavy led you out of the room and held a piece of bread in front of you. “Eat,” he said softly.
Lowering your hands to take the bread, you could still hear them laughing. You were walking down the corridor as you reached for the bread and noticed the tips of your fingers were bleeding. Bringing your hands closer to your face, you found out why. Your nails were ripped out, your nailbeds were bloody and covered in clots.
You felt the bread prodding against your mouth and opened, chewing absently before swallowing. It was so dry. You felt its way down your throat.
Heavy held your wrist and pushed your hands down. Abruptly, water was pouring down your head, you grabbed onto Heavy in fear, staring around you as you were unable to comprehend what was happening.
“Safe here,” he whispered, petting your head to reassure you. “Heavy cleans you.”
You stared at the tile walls surrounding you. This was the communal shower. You could hear the running water behind you. The water was warm, and you could feel the warmth under the soles of your feet. Slowly, you let go of him with a small nod and stepped back to get under the water. His clothes were soaked in water and vomit. Closing your eyes, you let the water run down your head and face, washing away whatever had happened.
Opening your eyes, you found yourself on all fours in another room. It looked like their common room. You stared at Skirmisher, who was sitting on the couch with the cat in her lap. She looked uneasy as she met your gaze and petted the purring cat. Soldier was sitting next to her with his arm draped over her shoulder while he was glued to the rerun of a film on the TV screen.
Someone whistled to get your attention. You turned your head to look at them. It was Engineer. “What’re you doing here, girl?” he asked and you noticed that he was working on a machine. You glanced back to see if he was talking to you. The office was empty.
Demoman’s drunken shouting made you crawl out of the kitchen. You heard footsteps after you. Behind you was Pyro, slowly following you through the dark corridors. He kept his distance. You stopped crawling and he stopped walking. It became eerily silent before he finally spoke.
“Are you watching?” Sniper whispered into your ear. You stared at him in confusion as he pointed at the small gap in the door. He was so close and it was so dark around you. The light was bleeding through the small gap between the door and the doorframe. You could hear the sound of something cutting through the air before the sound of impact.
Unsure, you leaned over to look. It was the common room from before. On the couch were Soldier and Skirmisher. They were both naked from below. He was holding Skirmisher’s hands behind her back as he guided her to bounce on his cock. In his other hand was a riding crop, he smacked it against her hip as she moaned.
You had never thought of Soldier like that. Seeing him fuck a version of you was strange. She looked like she was lost in pleasure from being filled to the brim by him. Heat was spreading south from your belly at the thought of being in her place now.
Sniper’s soft chuckle brought you back to the moment, you realized your hand was resting between your legs, your fingers pressing against your wet cunt.
"Does doggy have an itch that it can't scratch?"
His calloused hand replaced yours as you looked through the gap to continue watching them. The room was dark now. You couldn’t see anything. The presence of Sniper disappeared from behind you.
“Goodnight,” Medic said. You stared at him through the bars of the cage as he walked out the door. The room became pitch black as he closed and locked the door.
Soft fingerpads were trailing over your hip, and a soft voice was telling you to come closer. You arched your back at the sound of a belt unbuckling. The awareness returned slowly as you pressed your ass against the cage bars. You felt the tip of his cock entering your cunt impatiently and moaned into your bandaged hands.
The walls of the cage rattled as the man thrust into you desperately, seeking more than pleasure. Each thrust left the cage walls shaking, accompanied by wet sounds of your cunt sucking him in. You pushed your ass against the cage to meet his thrusts. You could hear the cage’s bottom scrape against the floor as his cock throbbed. He pushed deep, your pussy welcomed him, twitching in a rhythmic pulse, begging for his cum. With a restrained grunt, the man stilled inside you as thick spurts of cum spilled inside you.
The lights turned on as soon as you heard the door unlock. Flinching, you watched as Medic walked into the room with a cup of coffee, its smell filled the room. “Good morning!” He was smiling until his eyes landed on you. His brows furrowed momentarily before he asked, “Who was here last night?”
warnings for the whole fic: non-con, forced puppy play, manipulation, gaslighting, power imbalance, human experimentation, lobotomy, suicide attempt, humiliation, blood and gore, guro, alcoholism, self-harm, sexual assault, kidnapping, vomiting, death, dismemberment, murder, animal gore, animal death, diapers, piss, waterboarding, shock collars
tldr: horror porn munkey stuff
word count: 5k+ i forgor
ao3 link
In the dark room, the bed was illuminated by the moonlight pouring through the window. You found yourself melting in his embrace, moving closer to feel the warmth of his chest against your back.
“Do you think we’ll ever be able to go home?” you asked.
“I don’t know,” he spoke into your nape, his breath ghosting over your skin. “Do you miss your home?” His arm around you tightened and he pressed a soft kiss on your hair.
…
“Do you?”
Chuckling into your hair, he took an inhale. “My home is wherever you are.”
~~~
“I’m sick of canned soups for lunch.” It was Engineer’s voice.
“You’re starting to sound like Scout.” Spy.
Why were they in your room?
God. It was so cold. You could feel the hard surface against your cheek. Were you sleeping with your face against the wall? That could explain the sore throat. You slept inhaling the dust sticking to the wall all night.
“All I’m saying is we’re not eating nearly enough meat. A barbecue wouldn’t be so bad every once in a while!”
Blinking slowly, you opened one eye and saw white tile. Ahead of you were two pairs of shiny black shoes. Your eyes trailed up, above you were Medic and Spy.
A short gasp sent you into a coughing fit from how sensitive your throat was. Why?
“Stop moving, girl!” You heard Engineer’s voice from behind you and felt something that was putting pressure on your throat. He tugged harder, making your cough worse. “Thought you said the meds wouldn’t wear out so soon?” Before you could comprehend what was happening, you heard something click shut. It triggered a large wave of memories flooding your thoughts. The cage. The medications. The intubation.
“She may have built some tolerance to the medication,” Medic replied.
Your body moved on its own, turning and grabbing Engineer’s arms with your nails, digging into his skin. Instinctively, your eyes were looking for a gun but he didn’t have anything on him. In his hand, though, was a wrench. Sinking your teeth into his arm, you bit hard enough to tear his flesh as you grabbed and pulled the wrench free from his grip.
While he was hissing and groaning in pain, you tried standing up but your legs were betraying you. Holding the wrench up took more effort than your body could handle but you refused to look weak in front of the enemy.
“That damn thing bit me!” Engineer spoke through his teeth and stood up to stay away from you. He was holding his arm to stop the bleeding.
Glaring at Medic and Spy, you spat out Engineer’s blood from your mouth. You could feel some of his arm hair between your teeth, you licked your teeth to get rid of them but it didn’t make a difference.
“It’s impressive,” Medic said, staring down at you.
“Is it?” Spy raised a brow and lifted his arm to check his watch.
You spat again to get rid of the taste of blood, hoping to talk this time. “I’m going to kill you.”
“It talks!” Medic chuckled, clapping mockingly. He sighed deeply with a smile, “I would love to see you try.”
Spy rolled his eyes.
Your other hand went to your mouth to try to pull the annoying arm hairs out of your mouth but your thumb touched a metal around your neck. Your fingers quickly felt around the metal ring around your neck. What the hell was that? You attempted to hook your fingers underneath the metal but the gap barely allowed your knuckles to slip past.
“What are you waiting for?” Medic asked, stepping closer and kneeling in front of you.
It was a trap. Something was up.
You tried to feel your legs. Did you have enough strength to make a run for it? Your calves felt weak, and your ankles looked bruised. If you made a run for it and they caught you before you could exit the room, you could guess that you wouldn’t have another chance so soon. If you could run out, however, you could find a weapon to kill yourself and go back home through respawn.
While your thoughts were racing, you caught Engineer handing Medic something. They were all too calm despite setting you free. What was waiting behind that door? Glancing back over your shoulder, you could see that the door was half-open and you were starting to doubt everything. Were you overthinking this?
“Will you kill me or will you run away?” Medic’s fingertips tapped your foot lightly, making your head whip around to glare at him.
An involuntary cough left you but with how much you were clenching your jaw, it sounded closer to a growl when you inhaled. “Don’t touch me!”
He smiled as he pulled his hand back. The same soft smile your Medic had on his face when he had a cadaver on his table. “Have you made your choice yet?”
The trembling started. How could they act like you weren’t a threat? There was something deeply wrong. Something. SOMETHING! What was it?
“This is miserable to watch,” Spy said. “Has the medication impacted her brain?”
Medic clicked his tongue, “It’ll take a while for it to adjust.”
You glanced down at your body and noticed that you were completely naked. You could see your own chest move hastily as your breathing became uneven. You were getting lightheaded. Calm down. Another shuddered breath left you, you could feel the pressure deep in your eye sockets. Pressing your hand against your head, you tried to subdue it.
“For something that was hooked up to tranquilizers and pain meds, I think it’s a miracle it can still think. And put on anesthetics too, I believe?” Engineer was wrapping his own arm with a bandage and chuckling to himself when Medic gave a soft hum to confirm. “It’s a damn miracle it’s still alive then.”
You remembered things in parts but if what he was saying was true, why would they waste all of that medication on you? You hadn’t been taken hostage by the enemy before but this was far too excessive for a simple hostage situation. What exactly was their plan here?
“All those experiments on (name) are finally paying off. Isn’t that great?” Spy’s tone was upset.
“She consented,” Medic sighed. While they were busy bickering, you had started to crawl backward slowly. You had to find a weapon to kill yourself with as soon as possible.
“She was scared to say no,” Spy shot back.
“Did she tell you that?” Medic asked.
Spy didn’t reply.
“Let’s focus on what’s important-” Engineer started.
“You sent me away so you could brutalize her,” Spy spoke abruptly.
Medic stood up, turning to face him. “And we sent you for conspiracy and you slept with the enemy.”
Rolling his eyes, Spy was the first one to notice you by the door. He barely opened his mouth to speak when you planted your heels on the floor and bolted out the door, using the ground like a springboard. Behind the door was something you didn’t expect. An unfinished and dark short entrance that led to a dead end. Unable to stop in time, you crashed into the wall ahead of you and it moved.
You could see an outline from the light that was bleeding through the gaps that shaped into a doorframe.
A secret door?
Gathering your strength, you pushed and gritted your teeth as the wall in front of you moved bit by bit. When there was an opening big enough for you to squeeze through, you slipped past without looking back. You could hear them behind you. The slow footsteps were echoing in the back of your mind.
You lifted your gaze to find yourself in the BLU’s medical lab. Glancing back, you saw that the secret door was a large medicine cabinet. You didn’t know they had a secret room. Your base didn’t have one. Why was this information never discovered? How well had they been hiding this place?
The cabinet moved and so did you. Running further inside the lab, you headed directly toward the station where the surgical instruments were. Your legs were shaking, unable to hold your weight but you pushed through. One more step and you would be home. It was enough to give you more strength.
You grabbed the tray, looking for a scalpel but couldn’t find one among all of the instruments. Dropping the wrench, you dug your fingers inside the tray to pull out a pair of scissors.
“You’re going to kill us with a pair of scissors?” Spy’s mocking tone filled your ears.
Gripping the scissors more tightly, you glared at the trio standing a few meters away. You could do it and they wouldn’t have enough time to take the scissors away from you, nor stop you before you died.
Medic was holding something in his right hand. It could be something to stop you. You couldn’t risk it. You had to do it fast and make sure it was fatal. From the side of your neck to your throat. If you could puncture enough of your skin, you would hit an artery.
With a shaky hand, you abruptly raised your arm to stab the tip of the scissors to the side of your neck but an intense wave of pain started wrecking your nerves. Still gripping the scissors, you crumbled to the ground, convulsing. The pain was deep in your bones, violently attacking every part of your body and making you spasm uncontrollably.
It all stopped just as suddenly as it had started.
Your mouth opened, greedily sucking in air. Your body felt too hot and it hurt even to try to move. Your muscles were still buzzing and contracting involuntarily as you tried to learn how to breathe again.
“Isn’t this level of voltage lethal?” You heard Spy say.
“It’s a small possibility but it’s the perfect dosage to immobilize any threat,” Engineer replied. “Doc and I designed it specifically for it. Effective and keeps things in control.”
Coughing, you felt saliva leaving your mouth and became aware of the foam on the sides of your mouth. You could see Medic step closer from the corner of your eye and kneel. He removed the scissors from your hand with force, your fingers were curled uncomfortably tight around the instrument.
“Your training has started,” he said with a smile. “You will learn as we go.”
It hurt to breathe. You were wheezing with each inhale. You wanted to speak, to ask him what he meant and to tell him to go to hell but instead you felt the same jolt of pain deep in your bones. Your body shook uncontrollably, tensing and spasming. Then it was gone like it never happened. You could hear some laughter in the background as you wheezed against the cold tile. The white tile was turning red as they discussed what to eat for lunch.
Why?
That was all you could think about.
Why were they doing this?
“You’ll get lunch too,” Medic said and you noticed he was talking to you. He frowned as he stared down at you. “We should clean you up first.”
Coughing, you sputtered out more blood. There had to be something foreign in your throat, you had the constant urge to cough. Or was it from the intubation? Was that why you were bleeding? What was that around your neck? A shock device?
“I’m leaving,” Spy announced, pulling out his cigarette case. “I have matters to attend to.” He placed a cigarette between his lips and turned to leave
“See ya.” A moment later, Engineer chuckled as he spoke when Spy wasn’t in sight, “He’s taking Mish downtown, is what I’ve heard.”
“Another lunch?” Medic smiled, shaking his head slowly. “He’s spoiling her too much.”
You knew your teammates gossiped but to experience the enemy’s gossip was strange. Besides, it could be useful information. You held your breath in case you would miss out on hearing something important.
Engineer nodded as if to agree, “I’ll be honest, I think it’s better he plays house with her. That way they’ll be out of our way.”
Even when you had just been shocked and coughing blood, there was a fire deep in your gut from jealousy. Playing house? What did he mean by that?
“That’s not what he’s doing. You’re smart, you should be able to see right through him. He’s trying to do damage control. He told me how he doubts himself.” Medic walked over to a tray, placing the scissors in his hand on it. Then, he glanced at you. “He’s confused. He spent too much time with the REDs.”
“What is he confused about?” Engineer asked. “The plan or who he is?”
Medic paused, staring at you with a blank look. He spoke hesitantly, “No. Spy is one of our best men. I trust him to stay professional until the end." Tilting his head to point at you. “He got too close to the enemy and he’s become sympathetic toward it.”
Was he talking about you? More importantly, what did he mean by that? When had Spy gotten close to the enemy? BLUs had infiltrated your base; this was a fact. It was to steal information, you remembered the meeting about how they had gotten to the data center. Had the enemy infiltrated your base more than once? To do more damage? Earlier, they were talking about a conspiracy. Was that what Spy had been doing in your base? For how long?
Engineer turned to look at you. “It’ll go away. Being away from (name) for too long would have any of us seek her image in the enemy. Give him some time to adjust.”
Medic nodded to brush off the topic as he walked to the wall and grabbed the handset from the wall-mounted telephone. You saw him dial a number and raise his shoulder to keep the receiver against his ear. He turned around carefully and motioned for Engineer to wait. “Hello?” Lowering his shoulder, he grabbed the handset as he spoke, “Can you come to the lab with Scout?” A pause. “Thank you. Great.” He hung up the phone before speaking to Engineer. “We can continue talking over lunch.”
They clearly didn’t want to talk near you. If you respawned now with the information they were discussing, your team would be ten steps ahead but if you managed to learn more, it would be even better.
“Scout?” Engineer let out a scoff, “Are you gonna leave your dog with Scout?”
“His punishment,” Medic snickered. “Soldier will watch over both of them.”
Was that what you were now? First an ‘it’ and now a dog.
You focused on your fingers and wiggled them. Though you could see them moving, you couldn’t feel any movement. You could brush it off as the aftermath of being shocked and alarm bells didn’t start ringing just yet. If the device around your neck could do this much damage, it couldn’t be a good idea to be shocked repeatedly. Yes, you wanted to die but a quick death to respawn was a much better option than to torture yourself for days before your body finally gave up. Avoiding being shocked was a top priority at the moment, you would surely get a moment where you had access to a gun when Medic wasn’t around. Or better yet, if you could piss off someone like Scout or Soldier who acted on impulse, you could be killed by the enemy.
The moment you respawned, it would be over for the BLUs. Thinking about your base had you wondering why your team hadn’t come to save you yet… Oh. Obviously, they didn’t think of you as weak. They knew you would take care of yourself. That made your chest tighten. A dumb smile formed on your lips. Those fuckers better throw a party once you get back. You could almost imagine a few of them waiting in worry while your Spy would tell them that there was nothing to worry about. You were strong. You were RED’s greatest weapon, Skirmisher. You wouldn’t yield to the enemy.
“Woah, what happened here?” Scout’s scratchy voice tore right through your thoughts. He stepped through the door with Soldier beside him. Scout’s swollen face was covered in bruises and cuts. If you weren’t struggling to breathe, you would have been cackling at the sight.
“Tried to kill itself,” Engineer replied with a grin. “Doc zapped the hell outta it.”
Scout chuckled at that, looking at you like you were a joke. “It’s wheezing with every breath! God, I wish I were here to see that.”
Medic crossed his arms over his chest, “Fix yourself.”
Scout’s expression fell flat, frowning, he faced Medic with a more serious face. “Sorry, doc. She got in my head yesterday.”
Medic let the silence sit for a moment before talking to Soldier directly, ignoring Scout. “He will wash the dog. I need you to watch over them so he doesn’t let another one get into his head.”
Soldier glanced at you and dipped his head in a nod. “We’ll take her to the yard and hose her down.”
“No!” Engineer raised his voice. “Do NOT take it out of the base. That collar will fry that dog if it leaves the borders of our base and sets off our alarms.”
Medic sighed, “We’ll keep it confined to the base limits. If it ends up running out of the base, the collar will keep it immobilized until we’re able to track and retrieve it.”
Why go that far?
“Yeah, man, don’t you remember the wires they buried around the base?” Scout scoffed.
“I was there,” Soldier replied. “I was also there when we took a wider limit to include that hippie’s van, where we have a perfectly good hose to use.”
Medic clicked his tongue, “What?”
Engineer dropped his head in disappointment. “I let him take charge while I was working on the tracker transfer gadget.”
A vivid image of Medic and Engineer crowding a very similar copy of you with a device popped up in your mind. Your stomach twisted as you lifted your arm and reached behind your head. The pads of your fingers brushed against your skin below the device around your neck and you pressed hard to feel the bump of the tracker under your skin.
It wasn’t there.
Scout couldn’t stop grinning. “Are you sure it wasn’t him doing nightly visits?”
Medic glared at him, which stopped his grinning. Sighing, he pointed at you, “Just get that thing cleaned in the base as we discussed.”
Soldier nodded to acknowledge, while Scout was quiet.
“Great,” Engineer said, lifting his head. “After lunch, I’ll find Sniper and have a talk.”
“It’s fine,” Medic replied as he headed toward the door. Engineer was quick to follow him. “Like everyone else, he’s allowed his private time with the dog when it’s not being trained.” You could hear the rest of his sentence as it echoed in the corridor outside but couldn’t even bother making sense of his words. You were still pressing your fingers against your skin to feel the tracker but there was nothing.
“Get up.”
Staring up, you saw Scout glaring down at you.
“C’mon,” he said and kicked your leg. Lowering your arm that was checking for your tracker, you rubbed where he kicked you. “I don’t have all day, get up.” He was getting ready to kick you again.
“Don’t damage company property.” Soldier kicked him behind his knees, making Scout fold and lose his balance momentarily. Despite having already emphasized his point, Soldier kicked him before he could regain his balance and Scout fell rather awkwardly on the floor next to you.
If there hadn’t been a looming dread of the unknown danger you were slowly becoming aware of, you would have enjoyed Soldier bullying Scout.
“Yeah, I got it!” Scout snapped and pushed himself up from the floor. While on his knees, he stared at you with hatred. “Get up!”
If you refused to get up, would Soldier beat him out of frustration? You wanted to see that.
Sighing, Soldier stepped closer. “Move,” he said to Scout. As soon as Scout moved away, he crouched next to you. “C’mere cupcake,” he said as he scooped you up in his arms unceremoniously before you could protest.
Pressed tightly against his firm chest, you planted your hands on his chest to push him away. His white shirt was getting stained with your blood. “I can walk,” you said hoarsely. “I can walk!” Your voice cracked.
He tightened his arms around you as he was walking out of the lab with Scout rushing after him. He was indifferent, no matter how hard you struggled to break free. He was carrying you like you weighed nothing. Just how strong was he? You had wrestled your fair share with your Soldier for training and he was strong but he struggled to hold you down for too long. Had he been pretending to lose? No. You were weak. You didn’t know how long you had been in that cage. That intubation meant that you weren’t being fed during that time. Was that why he had you medicated too? To get you weak and force you to submit?
You stared down at your body and it confirmed your speculation. You looked weak.
Soldier walked past the locker room and into the communal shower before he finally put you down. You stood on your unsteady legs, your arms wrapped around you to cover your breasts instinctively. Under your soles, the tiles were grimy. Did they not clean the showers?
Scout gave you a downward push on your shoulder. “Down,” he instructed.
Turning to glare at him, you coughed as your throat convulsed abruptly. “I can wash myself,” you managed.
Scout pointed his finger down. “Get on all four, dog.”
“I’m not a dog,” you spat. Soldier behind him had gotten a bucket and a sponge ready with him. “I’ll wash myself.”
Scout looked back at Soldier. “What am I supposed to do now?”
Soldier handed him the bucket and stepped closer. You stepped back in response, refusing to let him come any closer. “You’ll obey,” Soldier said. “Or else-” His hand dug into his pocket, pulling a remote. You took a step back. Could that set off the collar?
“Wait!” You sounded so desperate. What happened to not yielding to the enemy? “Wait…” You just didn’t want to get shocked again. That was it. “I can wash myself.”
“No can do.” He pointed down. “Down, girl.”
“I’m not a fucking dog,” you spoke through your teeth and that made your sensitive throat flare up again, you ended up coughing uncontrollably.
“You are in my book,” he replied. Pointing down, he spoke with certainty, “Down.”
Trying to catch your breath from coughing, you slowly lowered yourself until you had your hands on the grimy tiles of the shower floor. You hated yourself but you were given two choices. Either humiliate yourself or get shocked. The latter would have been the best choice if it didn’t hurt so much. If you could get this device off your neck, you could escape. You could kill yourself soon too. There would definitely be a weapon close by soon. You hadn’t lost hope.
How could you let them humiliate you? Torture was better than this.
Was it though?
Dropping the bucket next to you loudly, Scout was grinning as you looked up at him in surprise. He stepped back and you looked at Soldier, who was holding a hose connected to the closest faucet. The tip of the hose was already spilling water and he pressed his thumb on the mouth, creating enough pressure to direct the running water. Almost immediately, you were being splashed with cold water.
Opening your mouth instinctively, you grunted from the cold and wrapped your arms around you. “Ssstop!” you hissed.
Soldier removed his thumb from the mouth of the hose. With the cold water gone, you were still freezing, and your teeth were chattering. Scout’s cackling filled your ears as he got closer with a soapy sponge.
Crouching next to you, he grabbed you by the hair and pulled your head back. When you grunted in pain, he shoved the soapy sponge in your mouth and quickly pulled it out to roughly rub it against your face.
“What? I’m just cleaning it!” he laughed when Soldier said something you couldn’t hear.
Spitting out the soap in your mouth, yougrabbed the hand in your hair. You couldn’t even open your eyes, they were burning from the soap. The sponge moved down your throat and between your breasts.
Scout tugged at your hair harder, “Doesn’t it have a great pair of tits?” you heard him say.
Furious, you dug your nails into the skin of his arm and clenched your jaw hard. Abruptly, you felt the sudden impact of a punch on your face and the sheer force of it made you lose your balance. Barely catching yourself on your hands on the floor, you moved one hand to your nose, it was surely bleeding since all you could smell was copper. Argh, it hurt so bad. Fuck.
Then came the random burst of cold water, making you stiffen involuntarily. You could hear them arguing but it was all unintelligible.
After wiping your bleeding nose, you wiped your eyes to get the soap out of them so you could open them. Now, you could hear Soldier giving clear warnings to Scout. Opening your eyes despite the stinging pain, you watched Scout step closer with the soapy sponge.
“Obviously, it can take a punch,” he sneered and reached to grab you by the hair again.
“Don’t touch me!” you shrieked, slapping his hand away.
Scout straightened up with a frustrated grunt. He glanced at Soldier. “A little help here?”
“I’m going to come for you first,” you spat through your teeth as you sat up. You could taste the copper in your mouth, and your nose hadn’t stopped bleeding. “Once I respawn, I’ll come to kill you first. I promise I won’t make it quick.”
Scout froze while looking down at you. Your threat had gotten to him. He looked genuinely shocked.
You couldn’t stop the smile forming on your face, “I’m going to enjoy it.”
He looked back at Soldier and the latter shrugged. Scout gave you a sinister look as he met your gaze. “You think you’re going to respawn if you die?” he said and you barely realized it was a question. He didn’t let you speak. “Haven’t they told you?”
Puzzled, you stared at him.
Scout began laughing as if it were the greatest joke he had ever heard. He dropped the sponge and wrapped his arms around his stomach, still laughing. When he finally stopped, his cheeks were blushing red from how hard he had been laughing. “I can’t believe this! This is incredible! Don’t you know anything?”
It was getting too strange. What was so funny? The way he was acting was making your blood boil. You wanted to get under his skin. With the way he was acting with the Skirmisher, Scout had to be dating her, right? You wanted to see the reaction on his face when he learned what she had done previously. If he were just as jealous and possessive as your Scout had been before, then this could be your chance to get the upper hand. “I know that your girlfriend was sucking off your Medic last night,” you replied.
That made him pause. “My girlfriend?” he asked, confused. “Are you talking about (name)?” God, you couldn’t wait to see that despair on his face. But it never happened. “Can you imagine that?” he sighed and glanced at Soldier.
Soldier shook his head with a soft smile.
Scout chuckled as your confusion was showing on your face. “(name) belongs to all of us,” he said, speaking directly to you. “She’s nothing like what you were.” His nose scrunched in disgust. “Don’t try to sink her to your filthy level.”
“So she’s also company property?” you shot back, furious.
“Aren’t we all?” he scoffed. When had he gotten so clever? “Besides,” he said. “You have bigger issues to worry about.” He began grinning like what he was about to tell you would-
Cold water started splashing both of you. “You were told to clean her up, not run your mouth,” Soldier said. Your teeth chattered from the sudden cold. Scout was shrieking and stepping away to stand where the stream of water couldn’t reach him.
You shielded your face but it did nothing to stop the shaking of your limbs.
“Fine! Fine! Just don’t splash me again!” Scout shouted, wiping his eyes and quickly wringing his shirt to remove excess water. You watched him return to your side after picking up the sponge.
“What?” you asked, unable to hide your curiosity as he dipped the sponge in the soapy bucket. “What are you talking about?”
He grinned despite how badly his teeth were chattering. “If you die, you’ll die for real,” he said, squeezing the sponge over your head. The lukewarm water warmed you up slightly but your body was shaking nonetheless.
“What do you mean?” Your voice almost cracked. “That’s not true. It’s not possible. My team will come for me.”
He scoffed while roughly washing your hair, “They won’t.”
You couldn’t deny his words as Soldier splashed you again to wash off the soap from your hair. Gasping, you shook off the cold shock and spoke again to ask another question. “Why wouldn’t they?”
Scout moved back onto lathering your face up in soap as if he was sick of you talking. “They made a switch,” he replied with a smile. “Your respawn data was deleted yesterday.”
“Who made a switch?” You could taste the soap in your mouth.
“Another Skirmisher,” he said, watching your reaction. He didn’t blink. He wasn’t risking missing a single moment. “You have been replaced by one of ours.”
That was impossible. “That’s not possible,” you said. “There can’t be more than one copy in each team. Respawn wouldn’t produce another copy if you’re alive!-” Soldier splashed you with cold water to wash off the soap.
Your limbs wouldn’t stop shaking as Scout continued rubbing the sponge on your body. He moved to your arms before he finally decided to snicker, “Nothing is impossible for our Medic.”
“They’ll know…” You bit your lip. How could that be possible? “They’ll know it’s not me.” Would they?
He chuckled at that, “They won’t. You weren’t close with any of them, that’s why it was easy to replace you.”
Cold water wasn’t as cold anymore. You could only utter a single question, “Why?”
Scout looked at you with a sinister smile plastered on his face. “It was the only way to defeat you.”
There were so many more questions left unanswered. You had so many questions and you still struggled to understand any of this. Why would they do all of this? Why were they keeping you alive? How could they replace you? Couldn’t your teammates tell the difference? They had to know it wasn’t you. They would figure it out.
Scout poked your face while cackling, “What happened to the RED’s greatest weapon?”
Psychological torture, you reminded yourself. He was lying to break you. Everything was a lie. None of it was true.
You didn’t give him the reaction he wanted and he took it as a challenge. He pressed the sponge on your chest with one hand and put his other hand on your shoulder as he crouched. The sponge moved in a circular motion on your chest until he decided not to use the sponge and used his hand to spread the soap. Fingers slid under your breasts and up until he could grope the supple flesh.
Would Soldier care to step in if you attacked Scout right now? Judging from how he held the remote in one hand and the hose in the other, he definitely wouldn’t let it happen.
Scout’s hand on your shoulder went to hold you by the back of your neck beneath the collar as he gave your breast a firm squeeze. He tried to meet your gaze, desperately trying to get into your vision while you were being humiliated. “Hey, let me see your face.” His cocky voice was begging for you to land a firm punch on his face. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if you managed to break his nose or a tooth before you got shocked. Although tempting, if you caved in now and got weaker before an opportunity to kill yourself to hit respawn, then what?
What if you didn’t respawn?
That was a lie. You had to remember that the enemy kidnapped you, so you were missing in action. They would do everything to keep you out of duty for as long as they could.
Scout slid his hand between your legs, giving a rub that was too deliberate to dismiss as cleaning. You grabbed his wrist firmly and glared at him. “Don’t. Touch. Me.”
Retrieving his hand with a smile, he drank in your expression as he continued to clean your legs. “It’s fine when Medic cleans you but it’s not when I do it?” The small giggle at the end of his words almost set you off. He kept looking at you expectantly, like he wanted you to attack him. Was he trying to bait you into attacking him so Soldier would shock you?
You had to ignore him.
He sighed at the lack of interest from you and stood up. “I’m done.”
Soldier barely waited a second before splashing you with cold water to wash off the soap. You wrapped your arms around yourself, shaking.
“Open your mouth,” Soldier said. “There’s blood on your teeth.”
You heard him but your body wouldn’t respond. Had the water gotten colder? You needed a minute to adjust. A minute they didn’t have.
“I’ll do it!” Scout crouched behind you and you felt his fingers forcibly curling around your lips as he pulled them apart. Cold water was immediately flooding your mouth, and your teeth sizzled in pain. Your hands went to his wrists to move them away but he pulled harder. The pain of your lips stretching was too much, tears were prickling in your eyes. You opened your mouth and coughed involuntarily as water kept coming while you were struggling to breathe. You sputtered and struggled in his hold as water invaded further down your throat, you were choking on water. You could hear Scout laugh. “Relax! It’s just water!”
The water stopped abruptly. Scout released you. Catching yourself on your hands, you coughed up more water. You barely caught your breath when you felt a towel being dropped on your head before being roughly dried.
“What’s for lunch?” Scout asked.
“Soup,” Soldier replied.
Scout groaned in disappointment, “Again?”
“Affirmative.”
For a moment, while your eyes were closed, you weren’t in the BLU base. You were back home. You could practically imagine your Scout and Soldier talking instead. You hated how effortless it was to find your teammates in the enemy.
i’ve been advised to not write my rejected scripts into fics and at first i brushed off this advice since it’s much easier to write them into fics than to produce films for them. i could make a lot of my characters and stories live through fanfiction in case they never ended up appearing in films. however it's becoming clear to me that this was the worst thing i could have ever done as there will never be appreciation for these stories nor characters in fanfiction setting.
i started posting and sharing to get feedback and engagement personally with the readers but no matter how much i try to convince myself that it's worth my efforts, it's clearly not. sharing such personally crafted ideas and expecting people to appreciate them will always be seen as selfish and that's when i am reminded by my agents' advice about keeping these stories private for future projects.
although i like writing and posting, it came to be obvious that it's all meaningless and the more i try to make it work the more ridiculous everything feels. i thought since fanfiction is free and easily accessible i would be able to receive the attention i crave since fans interact with each other but i was wrong.
i keep delaying the inevitable and looking for some sort of sign but i'm thinking about deleting this tumblr and ao3 account.
i’ve been advised to not write my rejected scripts into fics and at first i brushed off this advice since it’s much easier to write them into fics than to produce films for them. i could make a lot of my characters and stories live through fanfiction in case they never ended up appearing in films. however it's becoming clear to me that this was the worst thing i could have ever done as there will never be appreciation for these stories nor characters in fanfiction setting.
i started posting and sharing to get feedback and engagement personally with the readers but no matter how much i try to convince myself that it's worth my efforts, it's clearly not. sharing such personally crafted ideas and expecting people to appreciate them will always be seen as selfish and that's when i am reminded by my agents' advice about keeping these stories private for future projects.
although i like writing and posting, it came to be obvious that it's all meaningless and the more i try to make it work the more ridiculous everything feels. i thought since fanfiction is free and easily accessible i would be able to receive the attention i crave since fans interact with each other but i was wrong.
i keep delaying the inevitable and looking for some sort of sign but i'm thinking about deleting this tumblr and ao3 account.
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