valentine's day

katarina valentina. spanish-greek. ravenclaw, 7th year. they say you don't know what you've got until it's.. gone.

[ravenjake-deactivated20170103]

Cookie Bond | jake & katarina

Jake was in the Ravenclaw’s common room studying on some charms. More specifically, healing charms. Today was one of those days where not much was going on and he felt at peace at where he was. Plus, he had some snack along with him, albeit it was untouched for quite some time.

It was a Chips Ahoy! packet of cookies that he enjoyed eating at times. His mother had insisted him to bring a few snacks at times just in case, the cookies being one of them. So he decided not to let it go to waste by eating it now. Of course, being too focused on his studying, he forgot to take another piece of the cookie, leaving it still almost filled.

So without paying attention to the rest of the world, he continued on reading, leaving the packet of cookies in front of him, now more akin to a display than to a snack.

[ @ravkatarina ]

[ravkatarina-blog]

the common room was a sort of spot that she found herself to be wandering around aimlessly. she was supposed to study but she preferred to do that on her own, not in the desire to be around menaces and pestered by fellow classmates. she hugged her books closer to her chest, azure orbs looking around as she tried to find an open spot.

there was one spot open, but it had to be next to an unfamiliar face. above all, someone she didn’t know of. her eyes dart on what seems to be on a box of cookies. were they from the muggleworld? because they were cookies she had never seen before. she was in the dire need to try them out.

she takes the initiative to approach the boy, sitting next to him and greeting him with a warm smile. she tucked in a strand of hair behind her ear nervously, “hello chips ahoya! do you mind sharing some cookies?” a light chuckle escaped from her pink lips, “sorry, i hope I didn’t startle you.”

[ravkatarina-blog]

because you're ( still ) my best friend

( @slyamelie​ )

some friends came for a lesson, only to stay for the season. however, with amélie, she was a long-lasting friend. a friendship that katarina thought would last for years, only to be proven wrong when she decided to walk out the door without a proper explanation to her ( former ) best friend. truth to be told, she pointed the finger at herself and not her dear amélie. she doesn’t deserve that at all. besides, katarina wasn’t such a great friend anyways.

it’s not like she wanted to leave—as a matter of fact, katarina didn’t want to let go of their friendship. she wanted to keep it intact, strong and sturdy. amélie made katarina’s days at hogwarts brighter back then. now that the tides have turned, she wasn’t sure where they stood but there was a huge dent in their “friendship”.

can she even call me her friend anymore? i owe her too many words, i should’ve told her the truth.

she had every chance to explain. katarina did care deeply and wholeheartedly—that it pangs so much even today to lose her dearest best friend. she could’ve wrote letters, sent an owl—whatever it was but decided not to.

at this moment, she had to muster an adequate amount of valiance to speak up to her. “amélie, hello.” a smile was forced, she was trying her best not to get too awkward because the atmosphere surely wasn’t going to be the best. just like she expected. “how have you been lately?”

[ravkatarina-blog]

hey guys i'm finally back and alive from my hiatus!! it feels so good to be back. i hAD too much fun for my own good that i didn't wanna come back home omg. ;; i'll get to writing my replies and starters for those people who have been waiting on them. i'm so sorry about the long overdue.. replies and starters. ;; on another note, i would definitely love to plot with you guys!! is anyone interested? if so, feel free to like this post and i'll get back to you!1

[ravkatarina-blog]

guys i just wanted to let you all know that i'll be out of town and will be coming back next weekend!! i'm going to take a vacation and visit my friends. ahh i'll still be able to post some replies here and there! i'll be on aim too.

[hajipop]

[chuutie]

[ravkatarina-blog]

raindrops on our heads

( @auror-liam​ )

for most of her entire life, katarina thought that she was an outcast from the world. a ghost, an outsider, a loner, etc. she’d never reach out her hand to anyone unless they meant almost everything to her. she had her fair share of close bonds. bonds that she had clung onto and cherished deeply. however, she’d already lost so much after life hadn’t been fair for her for the past decade.

she was fond of the thought of being alone. mainly because she wouldn’t deal with people and their pettiness, people always had something to say and it was never nice. so, she retaliated and created a guard in order to protect herself. the icy façade that everyone saw, the way she portrayed herself wasn’t friendly or approachable. some had been intimidated. because of the fact that she had pretended to be something she wasn’t in order to bottle everything up, she felt alone. that feeling of loneliness wouldn’t wither away simply.

though, it’s times like these that she’s thankful that there were exceptions. that there was the brighter side to life than the grey skies that surrounded her. a person to relate to was a great feeling. she had never really been able to connect with anyone properly. “you know.. liam.. life is real fair, isn’t it?” she looked at her friend, sadness visible through her eyes but had tugged her lips to a painful smile.

[healerdorian-deactivated2018020]

❖ { butterflies } sungmin & kat

[healerdorian-deactivated2018020]

Reluctantly withdrawing from the embrace, Dorian quickly wiped his tears on his sleeve. He didn’t want her to see him cry. His brother was right—crying was weak. Girls like Evie and Kat wanted a strong man, not a crybaby like him. “Ok.” He sniffed, biting back further tears that distorted the blue tint washing over his brown orbs. “Yes,” he said, leaning into her comforting touch, “I’ll be here for you from now on—no matter what.” It was a hard promise to keep when the future was so uncertain, but Dorian knew he’d try his damn hardest to keep it. His hands held onto her arms, drawing circles against the fabric of her sleeves with his thumb. He looked back at her, forcing a smile on his trembling lips and felt himself drawn forward towards hers as if he was under a potent spell. I shouldn’t, but Kat is so beautiful—no. Dorian pulled away and turned around, unable to face her. It wasn’t right. He didn’t know what was real and what was Veela magic anymore. It was a weakness his brother had never had to endure and he would continue to shove that fact in Dorian’s face. Why did the thought of kissing Kat now feel wrong in comparison to when he pondered kissing her in the past? 

[ravkatarina-blog]

commonly, people thought that if tears were shed then it was an indication of weakness. however, not in katarina’s case. tears meant that someone had been a) clinging on to something negative for way too long or b) someone trying to be strong for too long. a “strong” man could cry too and she had witnessed it with how her father was. he’d make mistakes, he wasn’t perfect nor was he the greatest father but at least, he’d realize what he had been doing wrong after he stepped out of the door and katarina was solely raised by her mum. she rubbed his back caringly, trying her best to comfort him. “same here.. i promise.” she’d take a bullet for him if she needed to. that’s how much dorian meant to katarina in her heart. she’d prioritise him over her needs any day. it was due to the long line of their friendship they had and all these years.

no way can i kiss him. it isn’t right. she couldn’t do it. she pulled back a bit, wondering if it had been her veela abilities that would have him head over heels for her. that isn’t fair. but—she couldn’t help it, her eyes shut close and she pressed her lips against his.. almost until she decided to kiss his the corner of his lips. “i’m very sorry.” she pulled away, averting her gaze to hide her flushed cheeks.

[healerdorian-deactivated2018020]

❖ { butterflies } sungmin & kat

[ravkatarina-blog]

Regret began to plague his thoughts. If he hadn’t upset himself over Kat’s relationship with his brother, then perhaps he could have been there for her on the day she was given the grave news. Perhaps he could have supported her and held her hand, tended to her aches and pains. Perhaps she wouldn’t have even gotten sick in the first place. He held her tighter and tears swelled in his eyes, landing onto her shoulder in tiny droplets when he blinked. “I—I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” he sniffed, burying his head into the crook of her neck, “I s—should have been there for you”. His voice trembled, choking in a feeble attempt to hide the emotions threatening to pour out of him. “I should have been there for you.” He repeated, his voice growing quieter until it faded completely.  

“no no..” she didn’t want to cry, not now. not when she was smiling so widely around him. she didn’t want to shed tears letting the flashbacks play, ruining what they had present day and what was so much more in the near future. “it.. it’s the past okay oppa.. we’ll get through it together. let’s let it go..” she furrowed her eyebrows, looking at him with a worried expression. “listen.. you’re going to be here now for me as i am going to be here for you. that’s what matters now. the present is a gift, you’re a gift to me.” she placed both of her hands on his cheeks. “you’re amazing, okay. don’t forget that.” her azure orbs were darted on his lips, i shouldn’t kiss him.. no. but should she do it?

[healerdorian-deactivated2018020]

❖ { butterflies } sungmin & kat

[healerdorian-deactivated2018020]

Smiles were contagious and Dorian had always thought Kat looked beautiful when she smiled. He couldn’t help smiling back at her, only to blush and turn his head to hide his reddened cheeks. “I—I do?” Dorian asked, sucking in his bottom lip. After their fall out, Dorian had resigned himself to the fact that his friendship with Kat was over—but now to be walking beside her, hand in hand again, felt like a dream. “I wanted to help people,” Dorian said shyly, his voice growing quieter, “people like you who needed a healer—I didn’t want anyone to go through the pain of losing someone if I could prevent it”. His lips pursed together with a soft hum. He felt embarrassed sharing the truth behind his passion with Kat—not because she wouldn’t understand but because it was personal. His dreams were naive fantasies that deep down he knew had little chance of ever being achieved, but that wouldn’t stop him from trying. 

When Kat embraced him, Dorian froze. He’d missed her affections but never knew how to react to them. Physical displays had never been his forte. He was too awkward to adapt to the spontaneous touch of others, which perhaps had resulted in the demise of his previous relationship with Rosalie. Hesitantly his hands wrapped around her body, holding her closer. “I’d like that.” 

[ravkatarina-blog]

at a young age, katarina was told by her mother that people were more beautiful when they smiled. ironically, at this age, she didn’t smile a lot as compared to in the past. she didn’t crack smiles often because she found no reason to. not after everything that left scars on her ill-stricken body. though, with dorian she was different. she couldn’t explain why she like to smile so much. because despite where they stood, she was happy around him. genuinely happy. “to be in pain.. to be alone.. it’s so..” she took a pause then let out a distressed sigh. “it’s hard going through pain.. alone. i really wish that i had you around me when i was in the hospital. i thought about you.. everyday, oppa-ah. i really did.” she couldn’t get him off his mind, even now. “whatever you want in your life and where ever you’ll go, i’ll encourage you.”

she hugged him tighter, wanting this moment to last. she was going to cherish it, “i’m glad because you make me happy.”

[bellasdonnas-deactivated2020022]

[healerdorian-deactivated2018020]

❖ { butterflies } sungmin & kat

[ravkatarina-blog]

Dorian bit back a smile. Even his own mother hadn’t congratulated him for his achievements in healing, his father was too drunk and his brother, simply didn’t care—but despite this Dorian didn’t want to bother her with pines for affection he didn’t receive at home. Today was about reconnecting, not stroking his ego. “Y—you do?” He said, his smile seeping through. Dorian wasn’t sure what he wanted. On one hand he wanted to see her again, he wanted to see her every day but whenever he thought about her and his brother—no. He shouldn’t let Neukmin their friendship again. Neukmin didn’t love Kat, the time they spent together Dorian was sure meant nothing to him. If anything he probably used Kat. She was a victim as much as he was—yes. “I—I’d like that too, Kat.”  

 “of course.” more than often not, katarina didn’t like to smile but with dorian, it was different. she smiled and smiled to the point that she could feel her cheeks hurting. i look like an idiot smiling like this. she kept her composure, her facial expressions stoic and unemotional. “i love spending time with you..” she really did even if it didn’t seem like it since she had always been around neukmin more in the past. however, that was the past—no longer present day. “you make me happy, you really do. you know, i’m glad you’ve made it this far.. what did you want to be since you were young?” she wanted to know more and more about him even if they had been close before, there were still many quirks to a person. katarina stopped her tracks, arms embracing around dorian in the public area but she was too heedless. “can we stay like this?”

[ravkatarina-blog]

a visit from an old friend

( @prophetxmyungsoo​ )

(  tw: mention of illness! )

katarina valentine once remembered that during a time in her stay, in a place that ought to be called a “sanctuary” to some. however, it wasn’t home sweet home for her. the traces of bittersweet memories wouldn’t be swept away easily. most of her past was bad, but there was some good too. like, how she met an amazing friend. it was a while, her stay at that hell hole and the meeting. about a year ago or two.

rehabilitation centers aren’t exactly safe. not with the way the needles, the treatment, the chemotherapy, all sorts of various methods that even she couldn’t name to recover from her leukaemia. she’ll get over it, it’ll all be over soon. she didn’t like the way that she had lost her long beautiful tresses that passed her chest. she was stuck with a hat for most of the time, concealing that she had no trace of hair. her skin was sickly, pale and lost a lot of colour compared to before. she looked as if she hadn’t stepped out to have vitamin d.

more than often not, she didn’t pay attention to her looks but this was something else. she’d rather weep over the fact she lost all her friends in hogwarts because she left without a single goodbye. how selfish of me. she always lurked back on it. she couldn’t get over it.

though, apart from her depressing days.. today was different. someone cared enough to visit her, it had been so long—someone that knew about her illness. the only person. a vampire, yikes. but, he was that good friend. kim myungsoo.

[akookiepls]

(✿◠‿◠)

[ravkatarina-blog]

alone? ( open )

[ministryneuk-deactivated2018020]

This kid had a risky mouth on her. The kind that would get a girl in detention for fraternising with a naive professor who didn’t know how to say no to a pretty face—but after all the trouble Evie had gotten him into, Neukmin had no intention of losing his job over a random encounter in the corridors. He let out a laugh and tutted. “Aish. And is this is how you get away with breaking the rules—” Neukmin began to tease but as she leaned closer, he caught a whiff of her scent and with it, a flash of a memory returned. Disheveled dormitory sheets and clothes strewn across the floor—a girl with longer hair but the same scent buried into his shoulder. Moist skin against skin.

Shit. His brother wasn’t joking when he said Neukmin had gotten around. 

[ravkatarina-blog]

at times, katarina was thankful that she was blessed to have a beautiful face but most of the time, she really wasn’t. she didn’t like taking advantage of it, but she knew in this situation—she had to be remembered. katarina didn’t like to be forgotten, good or bad. she still had prominent features such as her azure eyes or her silky hair. “maybe, maybe it is.. maybe it isn’t..” she rose a brow, shoulders crossing. she was playing along, “i like to break rules, only if that someone is punishing me happens to be handsome.” a frolicsome chuckle escaped from her lips.

he better remember now. “so.. do you finally remember me, pretty boy? you were good in bed.”

[ravkatarina-blog]

from there to here

( tw: mention of illness!! )

backtraced: 6th year.

this is the last day.

the last day she’ll have to see dorian.

this was her last day of hogwarts.

this was her last day of seeing him.. smile.

katarina promised herself that it’ll all over be soon. that she would eventually disappear from his life just like that. she’s forgettable, she knew that much. there wasn’t any specialty behind her existence besides that she was a half-veela and sorted into the ravenclaw house. she was a typical, simplistic girl who had too many issues going on behind closed doors. issues she wouldn’t dare speak up to her best friend, dorian. in this case, she told him everything from head-to-toe except for one monster that rendered her fragile—

leukaemia, they called it. she had a check-up awhile back, only to find out that she wouldn’t have much time to live if she didn’t go through chemotherapy. she couldn’t imagine it, if the pain of the illness was much to bear or the fact that she wasn’t going to see her best friend in forever. she was putting everything that meant so much to her, all behind.

she knew that her long-flowing light brown tresses would be chopped off in a couple weeks. she knew that it wouldn’t be the same, the state her physical health was going to be. she couldn’t allow him to see that. not those that she cared for. katarina, at the very least wanted to write an owl to him or even better, a letter she could give to him in person. in the end, she decided to write a handwritten letter that she could give to him in person

inside the envelope was written:

dear my dearest, precious fruit oppa,

this is katarina writing to you. do you know how much you mean to me? do you know how much you are very precious and dear to me? you mean a lot to me, you know. as i write this, i may or may not be here anymore.. we’ve shared a lot of good times. a lot of memories that kept our friendship strong. you’ve made me smile so much. you’ve made me so happy that i forgot that burden i was going through because of my parents. you know.. they’re not the best right? but, i’m glad to be here at hogwarts because of you and my friends. you guys kept giving me a reason to fight and on and on. but unfortunately.. all good things must come to an end. including us, including me.. and you deserve better.

trust me, i didn’t want to hurt you. in fact, i think even if i don’t know what’s going to happen in the future.. i think it’s best to say that i can’t be here for you anymore. as the tears stain this letter, i’m not sure how much i have long left to live. i wanted to tell you this in person, face-to-face but i can only weep like a child and write it on this letter. i’m going to disappear for a while. that’s why i said i wouldn’t be here.. for you..

also.. i’ve always liked you.. more than a friend.. just so you know. you big fat idiot. <3

sincerely, katarina valentina.

please take care of yourself.

i’m doing this for the best.. forget me. please..?

she wrote the letter a night ago but when she wanted to give it to him, she couldn’t. she only kept it buried in a box, full of secrets, like her illness. something she would never tell him.

she was leaving today, her bags packed with her clothes and all her belongings. she was going back to barcelona in ten minutes. a flight back to the muggle world.

[ravkatarina-blog]

i still love her

a rose was once a symbol of heavenly perfection and earthly passion, sora was much like a rose to katarina. breath-taking and bestowed with effervescent beauty, she knew what she had lost. gone, just like that. a rose she couldn’t keep in her selfish, sinful hands. she had tainted the rose, ripping off the petals one by one to the point that there was nothing left. katarina could call herself a murderer for destroying the poor girl’s heart.

then again, she never meant any of it. not the way she left with a silent goodbye. up to this very day, she still found herself to be the scapegoat ( and should be held responsible ) in regards to her ill-treatment towars sora. it was easy to say that life went on and on, continuously playing and never stopping. but, to find herself atoning for her sins was another path she wanted to take. she had to, she needed to. for the lies she had set up, the fact that she never wanted to wave her hand “goodbye”.

the lingering feeling still existed within the shattered shards of her heartbroken soul. she’ll miss sora now and forever. the feeling of someone having lay against you, to hold hands, share such joyful intimacy was a blessing. nothing that she should’ve took advantage of.. i am an idiot.

it was another one of those nights where she found herself overthinking, mulling over the same muses before passing out. but this time, she wasn’t going to sleep peacefully.. not with the way this woman was invading her mind. she’ll always have a place there and in her heart.