âšïž Twinkle twinkle little star, how the hell you draw an arm âšïž
No title available

Discoholic đȘ©

pixel skylines
Cosmic Funnies
cherry valley forever
Misplaced Lens Cap
hello vonnie

if i look back, i am lost

romaâ
trying on a metaphor
i don't do bad sauce passes
Three Goblin Art

blake kathryn
taylor price
AnasAbdin
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
ojovivo
YOU ARE THE REASON
Game of Thrones Daily
Keni

seen from Belarus
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from China

seen from Canada
seen from United States

seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Germany
seen from Canada

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from Japan
seen from United States

seen from United States
@rawmiio
âšïž Twinkle twinkle little star, how the hell you draw an arm âšïž
"NO I WAS NOT JEALOUS"
Lost my fight with fate A tug-of-war of leave and stay I give in, I abdicate I lay my sword down anyway I'll see you at Heaven's gate 'Cause it's too little, way too late Ref:
Just watched "destroying a world that doesn't exist" and that was the most homosexual tension between two pixel characters I have ever seen. I need updated fanfiction and fanart immediately
ITS MGGS BIRTHDAY
cold!reader used to work with VCAC? the idea that she's good with children despite just hating everyone is so funny to me
would you consider writing a fic where the BAUs main witness is a kid and cold reader is the only person to get through to them? and then the kid becomes like super attached and the rest of the team is just like 'hm, strange' because they never expected her to be good with kids? thank you!
đđĄđąđ«đđČ-đŹđąđ± đĄđšđźđ«đŹ.
A family annihilator who's killed three families in two months makes a fatal mistake. He leaves behind a witness, a child, and she's the only one that can help solve the case.
cold!reader â 10.0k â series masterlist. â main masterlist.
CW | typical criminal minds violence, violence against children, mentions of trauma and ptsd, you do not know how tempted i was to kill this child but i didnât
The scent of burnt coffee lingers in the air, mingling with the sterile chill of the air conditioning.
The conference room is dim, the overhead lights casting a dull glow against the crime scene photos spread across the table. Three families, their faces smiling in old photographs, juxtaposed with the horror of their final moments.
You sit stiffly in your chair, arms crossed, watching as Hotch stands at the head of the table. His expression is unreadable, but the tension in his shoulders speaks for itself.
The team is silent as he clicks to the next slide on the projector, displaying the most recent crime scene. Blood splatters across beige carpet. A broken picture frame. A child's shoe, left in the doorway.
âThis is our unsub's third family in six weeks,â Hotch says, his voice steady but heavy. âAll killed in their own homes, in the middle of the night. No signs of forced entry, no clear connection between the families. Each time, heâs managed to evade security cameras and forensic evidence. Heâs methodical, careful, and fast.â
âSpree killer tendencies, but controlled,â Spencer interjects from across the table. His fingers drum against the tabletop as he speaks. âHe escalates quickly, but thereâs no erratic behaviour at the scenes. Heâs not disorganisedâhe knows exactly what heâs doing,â
âUntil now,â JJ murmurs. She leans forward, her brows drawn together, eyes fixed on the next imageâa little girl. The survivor.
Sheâs small, her arms wrapped tightly around her knees, pressed into the corner of what looks like a hospital bed. A police officer stands nearby, talking to her, but thereâs no recognition in her eyes. She looks⊠empty.
âShe got away,â Emily says, glancing at Hotch. âHow?â
âThe unsub killed her parents and older brother before she managed to escape through a back door,â he explains. âThe neighbours called 911 when they heard screaming. By the time officers arrived, the house was quiet, and the suspect was gone. She was found hiding in their backyard shed.â
âA survivor,â Morgan says, shaking his head. âThat changes things. This guy has a patternâhe wipes out the entire family unit. That means she wasnât supposed to make it out alive,â
âWhich means he might try again,â Rossi adds grimly.
A beat of silence. The weight of the statement settles over the room like thick fog.
âLocal PD has had no luck getting her to talk,â Hotch continues. âShe hasnât said a word about what happened. Refuses to answer questions. Sheâs traumatised, barely verbal, and right now, sheâs under police protection until we can confirm if she has any extended family who can take her in.â
You shift in your seat, already sensing where this is going. A slow dread creeps up your spine as Hotchâs gaze flickers toward you.
âWe need to get through to her,â he says. âSheâs the only witness we have, and if the unsub left anything behindâa name, a face, a detailâsheâs the only one who can give it to us.â
His words hang in the air for a second too long. You feel everyoneâs eyes move toward you.
And then Hotch says it.
âI want you to talk to her.â
You inhale sharply, jaw tightening. "Hotchâ"
âYou have a PhD in Psychology,â he cuts in smoothly, as if he already anticipated your pushback. âAnd your time in VCAC makes you the most qualified person here to work with child victims.â
The mention of VCAC makes your stomach twist. You fight the urge to grimace.
âI moved to the BAU for a reason,â you remind him, keeping your voice measured. âChildren can be⊠difficult. Especially ones dealing with trauma this severe. Sheâs not just going to start talking because I ask her to.â
âI know,â Hotch says. âBut if anyone can get her to open up, itâs you.â
Silence stretches between you.
You donât want to do this.
You hate working with kids. Not because you donât care, but because they feel too much.
They cry, they panic, they cling, and their emotions are messyâunpredictable in ways adults rarely are.
You spent years in VCAC, watching helpless children break apart under the weight of their own trauma, and it wore you down in ways you never admitted.
Thatâs why you left.
Youâre not the nurturing type. You donât coddle, you donât reassure with empty promises, and you donât have the patience for endless sobs and incomprehensible explanations.
And yet.
You glance at the image of the little girl again. She looks so small. So completely alone.
No one else in this room is going to be able to reach her. And if she doesnât talk, if she doesnât tell you what she sawâ
The unsub will keep killing.
You exhale slowly, forcing the tension out of your shoulders.
âFine,â you say finally. âIâll do it.â
âGood,â Hotch nods. âWheels up in 30.â
The meeting disperses, chairs scraping against the floor as the team gathers their things. You stay seated for a moment, staring at the blurred-out image of the girl on the screen.
A hand brushes against your arm.
You look up to see Spencer standing beside you, concern flickering in his eyes.
âYou okay?â he asks softly.
You almost say yes, but stop yourself. Instead, you shrug.
âItâs just⊠not my favourite thing to do,â you admit, voice quieter than usual.
He nods, as if he understands. Maybe he does.
âYouâll be good at it,â he says. No hesitation. No doubt. Just quiet certainty.
For some reason, that makes your chest tighten.
You swallow, push back your chair, and stand.
âLetâs hope so,â you mutter, grabbing your case file.
And then you follow the team out the door.
â
The jet touches down in Minnesota under a dull, overcast sky, the kind that promises rain but never quite delivers. The air outside is biting, cold enough that you pull your coat tighter around you as the team steps off the plane.
The local PD is already waiting for you on the tarmac, their unmarked cars idling, exhaust curling into the frigid air. Hotch exchanges quick introductions, then splits the team without hesitation.
âRossiâyouâre with me at the latest crime scene. JJ, youâll work with the departmentâs media liaison to handle the press. Morgan, Prentiss, youâre going to the MEâs office to go over autopsy findings.â
His gaze lands on you. âYouâre going to the station to talk to the girl.â
You nod, ignoring the way your stomach tightens at the assignment.
âIâll go with her,â Spencer says, stepping forward.
Hotch gives him a brief look, then nods. âKeep me updated.â
You donât say anything as you and Spencer break off from the group, climbing into the backseat of a waiting squad car. The officer driving doesnât speak much, just gives you a curt nod before pulling out onto the highway.
You spend the drive flipping through the case file, rereading the details you already know.
The survivorâs name is Madelyn Carter. Eight years old. No prior history of abuse or neglect. No suspicious activity leading up to the night of the murders. A completely normal kidâuntil the night she lost everything.
The police reports are frustratingly sparse. Non-verbal. Unresponsive to questioning. Wonât engage.
You tap your fingers against the file, jaw tight. Sheâs just a child, but already, you can feel the weight of the challenge ahead of you.
The police station is small, tucked into a sleepy suburban district, the kind of place that probably never sees much worse than drunk and disorderly charges.
But today, itâs buzzing with quiet tension.
You and Spencer are led to a small interview room at the end of the hallway. The walls are a washed-out shade of blue, meant to be calming, but the effect is ruined by the harsh fluorescent lighting.
And there, curled up on a chair too big for her, is Madelyn.
Sheâs impossibly small, arms wrapped around herself, knees drawn up to her chest. Her hair is tangled at the ends, her clothes a size too big, probably donated by someone at the station. A stuffed rabbit sits limply in her lap, its fur worn and patchy.
She doesnât look up when you walk in.
The officer standing in the cornerâa middle-aged woman with tired eyesâgives you a look thatâs equal parts sympathy and frustration.
âShe hasnât said a word since we brought her in,â she murmurs.
You nod, but your focus is on the girl.
You know better than to overwhelm her right away, so you take your time settling into the chair across from her. No sudden movements. No clipped, authoritative tone. Just careful, deliberate quiet.
âHi, Madelyn,â you say gently.
She doesnât acknowledge you.
Thatâs fine. You expected this.
You shift slightly in your seat, keeping your posture relaxed as you introduce yourself to her. âIâm a Doctor, Iâm going to try and help you,â
Still nothing.
You glance at Spencer, who watches the interaction closely, hands tucked into the pockets of his cardigan.
âThatâs a nice bunny,â you say, nodding toward the stuffed animal in her lap.
Madelyn doesnât respond, doesnât even flick her eyes toward you. She just tightens her grip on the rabbit, her small fingers curling into its worn fur.
You exhale slowly, adjusting your approach.
âI used to have one kind of like that when I was little,â you continue, keeping your voice soft, conversational. âMine was a bear, though. His name was Theo. I took him everywhere.â
Nothing.
Not surprising, but frustrating nonetheless.
You lean back slightly in your chair, glancing at Spencer, who watches the exchange with quiet patience.
âYouâre good at this,â he murmurs under his breath, just for you to hear. âJust be patient,â
You barely resist the urge to roll your eyes. âShe hasnât said a word, Spencer.â
âThat doesnât mean sheâs not listening,â
You donât respond, but his words linger in your mind as you turn back to Madelyn.
Sheâs still curled up, still silent, but you notice the way her fingers twitch slightly against the rabbitâs ear. Itâs a small movement, but it tells you one thing, sheâs aware of you.
Thatâs something.
You decide to change tactics. Instead of talking, you lean forward, resting your arms on the table between you. Then you take out your notepad and a pen, clicking it open.
Madelyn doesnât look up, but you catch the smallest flicker of movement in her postureâcuriosity.
Good.
You start to doodle. Simple things. A flower, a star, little patterns in the margins.
Still nothing from her.
But when you glance up a few minutes later, her eyes are on the notepad.
Just for a second. But she was looking.
You resist the urge to smile. Instead, you gently slide the notepad across the table toward her, placing the pen on top.
âYou can draw something, if you want,â you say simply. âYou donât have to, but sometimes it helps.â
Madelyn doesnât react immediately. But then, slowlyâso slowlyâher fingers twitch again, and she reaches out.
She doesnât grab the pen. But she touches it.
Your heart stutters slightly in your chest.
Progress.
You let her take her time. You donât push, donât rush. You just watch as her tiny fingers trace the edge of the pen absently.
You glance at Spencer again, and his expression is warm. Encouraging.
After a long silence, he speaks, his voice gentle.
âDo you like stories, Madelyn?â
She doesnât answer.
But after a moment, she nods. Barely. But itâs a nod.
You share a look with Spencer, and for the first time since walking into this room, you feel the smallest spark of hope.
Sheâs in there.
You just have to find a way to bring her out.
â
You donât know how long you sit there, watching Madelynâs fingers trace absent shapes against the edge of the pen. Time moves strangely in moments like thisâslow and thick, like wading through molasses.
Spencer stays quiet, offering his presence but not overwhelming the space. You appreciate it more than youâd ever admit.
Madelyn doesnât speak. But she nods. And she touches the pen.
Thatâs more than you had ten minutes ago.
So you build on it.
âYou like stories,â you say, keeping your voice soft. âWhat kind of stories?â
No response.
You lean back slightly. âI like mysteries.â A pause. âNot the scary kind, though. More like⊠puzzles. Things that make you think.â
Nothing at first. But thenâso subtle you almost miss itâMadelyn shifts. Itâs small, just the faintest movement of her shoulders, but itâs acknowledgment.
Encouraged, you try again.
âI think you might be really good at puzzles,â you say casually. âThe way you were looking at my drawings earlierâthat was you figuring things out, right?â
She still doesnât answer, but this time, you catch the way she avoids your gaze, like sheâs fighting the urge to react.
Sheâs engaged. Even if she wonât admit it yet.
So you take another risk.
âDo you want to play a game?â
That gets her attention. Not fully, but her head tilts just slightlyâlike sheâs listening more closely.
You grab the notepad again, flipping to a fresh page.
âItâs really simple,â you tell her. âI draw something, and you guess what it is. If you guess right, itâs your turn to draw something for me.â
You donât expect an immediate response, so you keep moving. You draw a cat. Just a simple, messy sketch, the kind a kid might do. Then you slide the notepad back toward her and wait.
Silence.
You donât push.
Then, after an agonising pauseâMadelyn reaches for the pen.
She doesnât say anything. Doesnât look at you.
But she writes one word in the space beneath your drawing.
Cat.
Something in your chest unclenches.
âYeah,â you say, voice even softer than before. âItâs a cat.â
Madelynâs fingers tighten around the pen.
Thenâhesitant, almost reluctantâshe starts to draw.
Itâs shaky, unsure, but after a moment, you recognise it.
A rabbit. Her stuffed animal.
You donât rush to answer. You let the moment sit, giving her control.
Finally, you say, âIs it your bunny?â
Madelyn nods.
Not small. Not hesitant. A real, full nod.
Your breath catches. Spencerâs posture shifts beside you, like he can feel the significance of it, too.
Youâve got her.
â
It takes another hour before she agrees to talk.
You donât push her. You keep playing, keep gently pulling her out of the dark space sheâs been locked in. She tells you her bunnyâs name is Milo, that heâs red because itâs her favourite colour, about things that donât hurt to answer.
She tells you her friends call her Maddie. You ask if you can. She agrees.
And slowly, carefully, she leans into it.
Finally, when the moment feels right, you set your pen down.
âMaddie,â you say gently. âI need to ask you about what happened that night.â
Immediately, she shrinks in on herself.
You donât reach for her. Donât move too fast.
âI know itâs scary,â you continue. âAnd I know it hurts to think about. But youâre the only one who knows what he looks like.â
Her grip on Milo tightens.
You lean forward slightly. âI want to stop him,â you say. âI donât want him to hurt anyone else. But I canât do that without your help.â
Sheâs trembling. But sheâs listening.
Spencer speaks for the first time in a while, his voice quiet but steady.
âWe can do it in a way thatâs not so scary,â he tells her. âYou donât have to remember everything at once. We can do it piece by piece, and you can stop whenever you want.â
Maddie hesitates.
Then, after a long, agonising pauseâshe nods.
You take a slow breath.
âOkay,â you murmur. âLetâs do this together.â
â
The cognitive interview is exhausting. For her, for you, for everyone in the room.
You guide her through it carefullyâasking her to picture the house, to focus on what she remembers before things got bad.
She whispers about the TV being on. About how her brother was playing a game on his tablet. About how her dad was in the kitchen, and her mom was upstairs.
Thenâthe noise.
Something breaking.
Screaming.
Maddie shakes violently, curling in on herself, and you immediately pull back.
âItâs okay,â you say quickly. âYouâre safe. Youâre here with us.â
She nods, but her breath is coming too fast, her body trembling too much.
Spencer places a gentle hand on your arm, meeting your gaze. You understand what heâs asking. Back off. Give her a moment.
So you do.
You wait.
Finally, she whispers, âHeâhe was big,â
You go still.
Sheâs talking about him.
You nod encouragingly. âOkay. Big. Can you tell me anything else?â
A shaky breath.
âH-he had a⊠a hat.â
You glance at Spencer, whoâs already jotting this down in the case file.
Maddieâs voice is barely audible.
âI think it was red.â
Your heart pounds.
Piece by piece, she tells you more. His height. His clothes. A scar on his arm.
By the time she stops, sheâs crying.
You reach forward, gentlyâso gentlyâand brush a piece of hair from her face.
âYou did so good, Maddie,â you tell her. âSo, so good.â
She hiccups, her tiny body wracked with exhaustion.
And thenâbefore you can reactâshe throws herself into your arms.
You freeze.
Youâre not the nurturing type. You donât know how to do this.
But right now, this kid trusts you in a way she doesnât trust anyone else.
So you let her cling.
You let her cry.
And for the first time in a long timeâ
You donât pull away.
â
The interview is over, but somehow, it feels like the work is just beginning.
Maddie doesnât leave your side.
Not even for a second.
Youâd thought that once the interview was done, youâd be able to hand her over to someone elseâmaybe the police, or someone from her extended family who was supposed to arrive soon. But instead, Maddie just⊠clings.
After the interview, she refuses to let go of your hand. You try to tell her she can go with one of the officers to get something to eat, but her grip tightens.
When you tell her itâs time for you to go back to work, she just looks up at you, her eyes wide with that quiet, vulnerable desperation that makes you want to soften, but you canât.
Her tiny fingers dig into your sleeve when you stand, like sheâs afraid youâll disappear.
You canât blame her.
Youâve been the one whoâs been there for her, the one whoâs gotten her to speak, the one whoâs made her feel safe for the first time in days.
But the child is persistent.
Everywhere you go, she follows. To the small break room where the team is gathering, to the bathroom when you briefly step away, back to the conference room where theyâve gathered for a case update.
Sheâs your shadow now.
And the team notices.
You try not to make it awkward, but it's impossible when she insists on sitting at your side, her tiny body almost engulfed by the chair next to you. Her stuffed bunny sits in her lap, its fur nearly as frayed as her nerves, but she holds it tightly. Itâs like her last link to some semblance of safety.
Morgan raises an eyebrow as he walks in. âI thought we were done with the interview?â
âWe are,â you say, keeping your tone neutral. âShe just⊠she doesnât want to leave me.â
No one teases youâat least, not directlyâbut thereâs a quiet amusement in the air as they all take in the sight of Madelyn curled up in her oversized chair, the edges of her blanket practically touching the floor, with you sitting across from her.
Hotch is the only one who doesnât seem particularly surprised. Heâs worked with children beforeâhe knows how attachment works, especially after trauma.
But the others? Theyâre bemused.
JJ glances over at you as she sips her coffee, a smile pulling at her lips. âShe seems to have taken quite a liking to you,â
You tilt your head, barely acknowledging her. âIâm just doing my job.â
Maddie, of course, doesnât let go of you, even as the case discussion begins. She stays glued to your side, her small hand clutching the sleeve of your jacket, her eyes darting from one agent to the next as they go over the details of the unsubâs pattern.
You keep your voice even, answering questions when necessary, but itâs becoming increasingly hard to focus when you feel the weight of her gaze fixed on you, like sheâs waiting for something.
Spencer notices.
Heâs been watching the whole scene unfold with quiet fascination, his arms crossed, his head slightly tilted, like heâs trying to puzzle out the situation. Finally, when the meeting breaks up, he sidles up next to you as you get ready to leave the conference room.
âSheâs really latched onto you, huh?â he says, his voice low, but the smile tugging at his lips is evident.
You glance at him, your expression unreadable. âItâs nothing. Just transference.â
âUh-huh.â He doesnât believe you, but he doesnât push.
Maddie hasnât let go of you once during the discussion, and now that itâs over, sheâs still following you around, pressing close to your side as you move toward the exit.
âAre you hungry, Maddie?â you ask her gently, glancing down at her with a touch of exasperation. âYou havenât eaten, and Iâm pretty sure thereâs a cafĂ© close to here.â
Her head nods almost imperceptibly.
Spencer watches, his eyes softening slightly as he observes the quiet bond thatâs developed between the two of you. Itâs not obvious at firstâjust the way the girl clings to you like youâre the only thing tethering her to some kind of reality.
âMaybe we can grab lunch,â he suggests, his tone more teasing than anything. âI mean, youâve earned it. Getting the kid to open up like that? Not easy.â
You roll your eyes, though there's no malice behind it. âIâm just doing what needs to be done.â
âYouâre good at it.â
You mutter something under your breath about it not being a permanent situation, but Spencer just chuckles.
He walks with you as you lead Maddie toward the small café a few blocks away. As you cross the threshold of the restaurant, you notice the oddity of the whole situation.
Itâs strange to have someone at your side like this. A small, vulnerable child who insists on being with you despite everything that happened.
The waitress gives you an odd look when you request a secluded booth, but she doesnât say anything. You slide in, Maddie immediately beside you, her fingers still clutching your sleeve.
Spencer orders for everyone, giving Maddie a soft smile as he does. You canât help but notice the way his expression softens around her.
âShe seems to like you,â Spencer comments as you sit, his voice light but carrying a certain warmth.
You cross your arms and shoot him a glance. âWhat can I say? Iâm just a magnet for clingy children.â
Spencer laughs quietly, but itâs warm. âYouâre good with her. I think she feels safe around you. And you are good at what you do.â
âThanks,â you mutter, but thereâs something unsettlingly genuine in your voice.
Spencer raises an eyebrow, but he doesnât press you. Instead, he changes the subject, discussing the case with you as if nothingâs out of the ordinary.
But in the back of your mind, you canât shake the feeling that something has changed.
As you eat, Maddie picks at her food, her gaze flickering from you to Spencer and back again. She looks at you with a certain familiarity, like she trusts you completely, like youâre the one person whoâs made her feel safe in the whirlwind of everything that happened.
After a while, she speaks.
âAre you boyfriend and girlfriend?â
Your fork stops halfway to your mouth. Spencer looks at you from across the table, just as surprised.
You freeze. How do you explain the whole weird mess that is your and Spencerâs relationship to an eight-year-old? How do you explain the not-together-but-kinda-together situation that doesnât even make sense to you half the time?
So you side-step the question.
âNo, sweetie,â you say, âNot quite.â
Maddie doesnât seem disappointed by that answer. She just nods, although a little confused.
You glance at Spencer, whoâs trying to hide a smile behind his cup of water.
âItâs okay to be curious,â he tells her gently.
You roll your eyes and take another bite of your food. âIt's just complicated,â
Maddie shrugs, her focus shifting back to her plate. She doesn't press any further, and for a brief moment, you almost feel normal againâjust two adults eating lunch with a kid. Like a proxy family.
But normal doesnât last long. The reality is that sheâs still attached to you, and you're still the one she turns to. For now, at least.
And despite all your reservations, thereâs a part of you thatâs starting to understand why.
â
The evening sets in with an oppressive stillness that mirrors the tension in the air.
Maddie has been tucked into a small cot, an officer stationed outside her door to ensure her safety. Sheâs asleep now, her face still flushed from the dayâs events, her small form curled tightly under the blankets. The moment she closed her eyes, a quiet kind of peace settled in the room, but the unease in your chest hasnât subsided.
The case isnât over. Not by a long shot.
The team has reconvened, sitting around the large conference table in the BAUâs temporary Minnesota office. The maps, photos, and notes are all spread out before you, the room filled with the usual quiet hum of focus.
Theyâre all working with urgency nowâcalculating, piecing together information, and drawing conclusions. But none of them, not even Hotch, seem willing to speak the one truth youâre certain of.
Madelyn is in danger.
Itâs only a matter of time before the unsub comes back for her.
âBased on the pattern,â Hotch begins, his voice steady, âwe can assume the unsub is going to strike again. Heâs methodical. The way he works suggests heâs already been planning this next move. We have a window.â
You listen, but youâre not really hearing him. Your eyes are fixed on the girlâs pictureâthe innocent smile frozen in time, the eyes full of unspoken fear. Sheâs just a little girl.
âAnd our best bet,â Morgan continues, leaning forward as he studies the information in front of him, âis to get her back into her old house. Lure the unsub out with a setup that looks weakâsomething thatâll convince him to make his move.â
Your stomach churns.
âThatâs what weâre doing,â Hotch affirms, his eyes briefly meeting yours. âWe need to make sure heâs brought to justice, and weâre running out of time.â
You can feel itâthe tension rising in your chest, suffocating you. Itâs not just the decision theyâre making. Itâs the plan. Itâs the idea that theyâre considering putting Madelyn in danger again.
You canât stay silent.
âAre you serious?â Your voice cuts through the conversation like a knife. âWeâre going to use her as bait?â
Thereâs an edge in your tone, one you rarely let genuinely show. The room goes still, and all eyes turn toward you.
Hotch looks at you with that ever-steady gaze of his, the kind thatâs usually so impenetrable, but you can see the frustration beneath it. âWe donât have many options here. If we canât draw him out, we risk losing him completely.â
âBy using a child?â You repeat the word like itâs a poison, something that doesnât belong in the same sentence as the word justice. You stand, unable to keep still, the anger making your pulse quicken. âThis isnât some game, Hotch. This is a real little girl. Sheâs already been through enough. We canât justââ
âYouâre overreacting,â Morgan interjects, his voice quieter now but firm. âWeâre not putting her at direct risk. The setup will be controlled, and weâll have backup in place,â
You shake your head, the words slipping from you before you can stop them. âControlled? How do you control something like that? How do you control what he does to her when he finds out sheâs there?â
Spencer speaks up from across the room, his voice calm but carrying an underlying note of empathy. âWeâre not doing this blindly. Thereâs a risk, yes. But weâre also talking about a chance to stop him, once and for all. This is what we do,â
You turn to him, frustration boiling in your chest. âThis is not our mission. Sheâs not just some tool to help us find a solution to our problems. Sheâs a child!â
Spencerâs eyes flash for a moment, but he softens his tone, lowering his voice. âI know, but weâre doing this to protect her. We canât just sit back and wait for him to come to her. Thatâs not an option anymore,â
The conversation swirls around you, their voices growing distant in your ears as the weight of the decision begins to settle over you.
The plan, the baiting, the manipulation of this little girlâs already broken worldânone of it feels right. The thought of putting her in harmâs way, even with all the precautions in place, is enough to make your stomach turn.
But no one is listening to you.
And you know, in the back of your mind, that itâs already decided. Theyâre going to go through with it.
Hotch gives you one last look, his gaze unreadable but firm. âI understand your concern, but this is the best option we have.â
You hold his gaze for a beat, the frustration still burning in your chest, but you canât push it anymore.
Instead, you take a breath and step back, your voice tight. âFine. But donât expect me to like it.â
The rest of the team doesnât speak upâno one challenges the decision. They all know what needs to be done, even if it isnât easy. Even if it feels wrong.
And in that moment, you realise just how far this has gone. Youâre not just part of the team anymore. Youâre now complicit in something that you canât reconcile with the woman you thought you were.
â
That night, you sit at your desk, staring at the case file in front of you, though youâre not really looking at it. Your thoughts drift back to Madelynâher fragile, trusting eyes, the way sheâs clung to you all day.
You didnât sign up for this.
Spencer walks past your desk, pausing when he sees the way youâre hunched over the case files.
âYouâre really not okay with this, are you?â he asks quietly, his voice soft but knowing.
You donât answer at first, focusing on the photo of Madelyn. Her smile, her bunny clutched tight in her hands, all of it makes you feel like youâre trapped in a nightmare you canât wake up from.
Finally, you speak, your voice barely a whisper. âI justâI canât believe weâre doing this to her.â
Spencerâs silence speaks volumes. He doesnât say anything for a long time, and you donât expect him to. Finally, he leans in, his tone steady but sympathetic.
âSometimes, we have to make hard choices,â he says. âBut that doesnât mean we forget who weâre doing it for,â
You glance up at him, meeting his eyes. Thereâs something in his gazeâa quiet understanding, a recognition of the struggle.
âYouâll be okay,â He hesitates before setting a hand against your cheek, thumb brushing over your skin. âAnd so will she,â
â
The silence in the room is almost oppressive. Madelyn has been tucked into her cot for the night, her small body curled into the covers as if trying to make herself as small as possible.
Youâve been avoiding looking at her, because every time you do, the weight of what youâre about to ask her presses down harder on your chest.
You know that this is necessary. You know that this is the only way to stop the unsub and give her a chance at safety. But that doesnât make it feel any less wrong.
The plan is set. Tomorrow, theyâll use her as bait. And you, the one person she trusts in the world, are expected to stand by and watch.
It doesnât matter that youâll be there to protect her. It doesnât matter that youâll be the one closest to her. The thought of her being used like this leaves a bitter taste in your mouth that no amount of logic can cleanse.
But thereâs no getting around it. The team has made their decision.
So you sit at the edge of her cot, trying to steady the storm of conflicting emotions swirling inside you. Youâre the one who has to make her understand, and that terrifies you.
Maddie is lying on her side, her bunny tucked into the crook of her arm. She looks so small in the dim light, so fragile, and it hurts to see her like this.
The trauma sheâs endured is still written on her face, though the interview was a step forward. But that doesnât mean sheâs ready for whatâs about to happen. None of you are.
âMaddie?â you say softly, your voice quieter than usual. She doesnât respond at first, her wide eyes flicking from her bunny to you. Sheâs so still, almost as though sheâs bracing herself for something worse.
âHey, sweetheart, look at me,â you coax gently, reaching out to touch her shoulder. She hesitates for a moment, but then she turns, her face a mask of anxiety and exhaustion.
You swallow hard, forcing yourself to hold her gaze. âI need to tell you something important. Do you remember what I told you earlier, about keeping you safe?â
She nods, her lips trembling. âYouâre gonna stay with me?â Her voice is barely above a whisper, like sheâs afraid of hearing the wrong answer.
Your heart aches. You can feel the weight of what youâre about to say hanging in the air like a storm cloud. But you canât lie to her. Not now. She deserves the truth. Even if it breaks you to say it.
âIâm not going anywhere, okay?â you promise, trying to keep your voice steady. âBut tomorrow⊠tomorrowâs going to be a little different.â
She furrows her brow, her small hands twisting the edges of her blanket. âHow?â
You take a slow breath, carefully choosing your words. âTomorrow, weâre going to do something to make sure that bad man never comes back. Something that will keep you safe. But itâs going to be a little scary, and I need you to trust me, okay?â
She looks up at you, eyes wide with apprehension. You can see her processing, the fear bubbling under the surface, trying to break through. But she doesnât pull away. She stays there, watching you, waiting for the rest of it.
âItâs not going to be easy,â you continue. âWeâre going to go to your old house, the place where all this happened, and weâre going to make it look like it did before. Weâre going to have people watching from close by, and Iâll be right outside. The whole time, okay?â
Her lips tremble again, and you can see that sheâs struggling to understand. The idea of going back to that houseâwhere so much horror happenedâis almost too much for her to process. You donât blame her. Youâd feel the same way.
âI wonât leave you,â you say again, making sure she hears the sincerity in your voice. âYouâll be safe, Maddie. I wonât let anything happen to you.â
The trust in her eyes is palpable, but the fear is too. Her small body stiffens for a moment, and she looks down at her bunny like itâs the only thing holding her together. âWhat if⊠what if Iâm scared?â she asks, her voice barely audible.
You lean in, your heart breaking just a little more. âItâs okay to be scared, But weâll make all the scary things go away.â
Thereâs a long pause, and for a moment, you almost feel like youâre breaking. The responsibility is too much, the pressure too great. You want so badly to pull her out of this situation, to find another way. But you canât. You have to do this, not just for her, but for everyone whoâs been affected by this unsub.
Madelyn bites her lip, her eyes filled with uncertainty. âYou promise?â
You nod, your voice thick with emotion. âI promise.â
She looks at you for a long moment, as if weighing your words, trying to decide if she can trust you. And then, just as youâre starting to doubt yourself, she nods, barely perceptible. âOkay. I trust you.â
The words settle between you both, and for a moment, you feel the quiet weight of the promise you just made. This isnât just a case anymore. Itâs her. Itâs her safety, her future, and youâre the one who has to make sure sheâs protected.
âGood girl,â you say softly, brushing a few stray strands of hair from her forehead. âYouâre so brave, Maddie. Iâm proud of you.â
Her eyes flicker up to you again, and this time, thereâs a faint smile. Itâs small, but itâs there. âIâm not scared if youâre with me.â
Thatâs the moment you realise: sheâs not just trusting you to keep her safe. Sheâs trusting you to give her back a sense of control over her own life, something she hasnât had since the night her family was taken from her. And you canât let her down. Not now, not ever.
âIâll be with you,â you repeat. âEvery step of the way.â
And as you watch her settle back into the covers, her bunny tucked tightly under her arm, you make a silent vow to yourself that no matter what happens tomorrow, no matter what you have to do, you will keep that promise.
Because no one else is going to.
Not like you will.
â
The air inside the old house is heavy with tension, each creak of the floorboards under the teamâs feet amplified in the stillness.
The plan is simple. Madelyn is placed in the house, under the guise of a minimal police presence, to lure the unsub into taking the bait.
Everything has been carefully orchestrated, right down to the smallest detail. Outside, the team is positioned in hidden locations, all eyes on the house. Theyâre watching for any signs that the unsub is approaching, but you know theyâre all thinking the same thingâyou hope this works.
Youâve spent the entire day getting Maddie ready, talking her through the steps again, reassuring her that this is the right thing to do, that sheâll be okay. And, despite your own misgivings, youâre trying to convince yourself of the same thing.
Youâve promised her that you would stay by her side, and you have to see that promise through.
The door to the house is left slightly ajar, a weak police presence positioned just inside. You take your position on the floor below Maddieâs bedroom, staying close, but not so close as to be obvious. Your heartbeat is a loud thrum in your ears as the time ticks by, every minute stretching into what feels like an eternity. The silence inside the house feels like a storm waiting to break.
Then, it happens.
The motion sensor outside the house triggers, and you hear itâthe unmistakable sound of someone breaching the perimeter. Your stomach lurches. The unsub is here.
Itâs go-time.
The team moves in quickly, and in that same instant, you spring into action, your focus singular. Your only thought is Maddie. The unsub can be handled by the others. Theyâve got it covered. But you canât take your eyes off the one person you promised to protect. You know exactly where she is, and you donât even hesitate to run toward her.
â
You burst into her room, your heart pounding. The light is dim, casting long shadows across the space. Maddie is standing by the window, looking outside with wide, fearful eyes. The moment she hears the door open, she turns to you, her face a mixture of confusion and terror.
She doesnât say anything, but you can see the fear etched into her small features, the tremor in her hands as she holds the bunny close.
Without thinking, you move towards her in two quick steps. You scoop her up in your arms, holding her tight to your chest, pressing her small form into you as though you can shield her from all the horrors in the world. The weight of her trust feels heavier than ever.
âShh,â you whisper, your voice as steady as you can make it, though it cracks just a little. âItâs okay. Youâre safe now. Iâm right here. See? I told you youâd be okay.â
She clings to you, her fingers curling into your shirt. Sheâs trembling, but she doesnât pull away. In this moment, sheâs not just the scared little girl caught in a nightmare. Sheâs the child who trusted you with her safetyâand that trust is all that matters.
You stroke her hair gently, trying to soothe her with the rhythm of your hand.
Your heart is racing, but you canât afford to let that show. Sheâs looking up at you now, her wide eyes full of questions, full of fear that you canât quite banish. But she trusts you. Thatâs enough.
âEverythingâs going to be okay,â you say again, even though you canât promise it. You hold her tighter, wanting to shield her from everything outside this room, from the danger lurking just beyond the walls. Youâre not thinking of the unsub anymoreâonly of Maddie. Sheâs the only thing that matters.
For a moment, everything else fades away. The outside world is a blur of movement and sound, but you are anchored in this small, dimly lit room with this little girl in your arms.
You donât hear the teamâs voices anymore, donât hear the chase or the shouting, donât hear anything except Maddieâs breathing against your chest. Sheâs calm now, her body still trembling but no longer with fearâmore from the shock, the exhaustion of the night.
Itâs a strange thing, the weight of her small body in your arms. Thereâs something deeply instinctive about it, something that stirs in you like an echo from a past you thought youâd finally buried alongside your Professor.
In this moment, holding her like this, you canât help but think of what might have been. If youâd had that child, if youâd stayed.
What would it have been like? To raise a child of your own? To care for someone who needed you as much as she does?
The thought catches you off guard. Itâs a brief moment of reflection, one that passes as quickly as it comes, but the weight of it lingers, like the fading scent of something once held close. Itâs not the first time youâve thought about it, but itâs the first time itâs felt so⊠real.
You quickly push the thought aside, focusing again on Maddieâs presence. Not now.
This isnât about you. Itâs about her. Always her.
âHey,â you murmur, pulling her back slightly to look into her eyes. âYou did great. You were so brave. Youâre okay. Itâs over now.â
Her eyes are wide, still searching your face for reassurance, but she doesnât speak. She doesnât need to. You know that sheâs still processing everything, still trying to make sense of the danger, of the chaos, of everything sheâs been through in the past few days. But sheâs safe now. Sheâs in your arms, and youâll keep her safe for as long as it takes.
âDo you trust me?â you ask softly, even though you already know the answer.
Maddie nods, her small hand clutching tighter onto her bunny.
âGood,â you say, giving her a small but sincere smile. âThen weâll get through this together.â
â
The storm has passed. The danger is over. Madelyn is safe. The unsub is in custody, and the team is in the clear. Youâve done your job. Youâve kept her safe, just as you promised.
But now comes the hardest part.
Her grandparents are here, having arrived just after the house was secured, the paperwork signed, and the chaos of the operation settled.
Theyâre older, frail but warm, and thereâs a visible relief on their faces when they see their granddaughterâsafe, unharmed, and sound, despite everything sheâs been through.
They approach her cautiously, with a tenderness that is obvious in their every move, but itâs clear that Madelyn isnât ready to leave yet.
Sheâs sitting on the edge of the bed, her back to you, staring down at her hands, her bunny still clutched tightly in her grip. Her eyes flicker toward the door every now and then, but she doesnât look up.
She can hear the voices outsideâher grandparentsâher familyâbut sheâs frozen. The transition from being with you, the one person sheâs come to rely on, to a completely new environment is more than sheâs ready for.
You move closer, kneeling beside her. Her head doesnât turn, but you can tell she knows youâre there. The silence between you is comfortable, not awkward, but weighted with the realisation that this is the end of the road for you both. This is where you have to let her go.
âMaddie,â you say softly, your voice a little hoarse from the long hours. âYour grandparents are here. Theyâre going to take you home. Youâll be safe with them.â
She doesnât say anything, but you can see her shoulders tense, just a little. Her fingers flex against her bunnyâs fur, as if trying to hold onto some sense of control, some last shred of the familiar. Sheâs scared. You understand that, even though sheâs made it through the worst of it, sheâs still just a little girl. And little girls need security. They need the things theyâve trusted, and right now, thatâs you.
âI know itâs hard,â you continue, gently brushing her hair back. âBut youâre going to be okay now. Youâre going to be with your family. Youâre not alone anymore.â
Madelyn stays quiet, but this time, she finally turns her head to look at you. Her eyes are wide and vulnerable, and itâs all you can do to hold back the swell of emotion threatening to break free. Sheâs asking with just a lookâCan I stay? Can you keep me safe?
But you canât. Youâve done what you promised. You canât be her protector forever, and you both know it. She needs her family now, the people who can be there for her in ways you canât.
âIâll always be here if you need me,â you say, your voice steady, though your heart is anything but. âBut youâve got your grandparents now. They love you, and theyâre going to take care of you. Youâll be safe with them, just like I promised you.â
Maddie looks down at her bunny again, as if deciding whether to give it up. For a long moment, she just holds it, her fingers tracing the worn fabric. You donât push her. She needs to come to this decision herself, in her own time. But eventually, she looks up at you, and her face is as serious as itâs ever been.
âI want you to have him,â she says quietly. âHe keeps me safe. Maybe he can keep you safe too.â
Your throat tightens at the simple, honest offer. The bunnyâher constant companion, the thing that has been with her through every terrifying moment, every flash of panicâis now being entrusted to you. You can feel the weight of it, of the trust in her small hands as she holds it out to you.
For a brief moment, you hesitate. You werenât expecting this. You didnât want this. You didnât want to accept anything from her, to make it feel like a goodbye, like this was the end. But the way sheâs looking at youâher eyes filled with the kind of vulnerability that only a child could showâitâs a gift. A gesture of complete trust.
You reach out, slowly, your fingers brushing against hers as she places the stuffed animal into your hands. You donât say anything at first. You donât need to. The weight of the moment says it all.
âIâll look after him,â you say finally, your voice soft. âI promise,â
Maddie gives a small nod, her lip trembling slightly, but she doesnât cry. She doesnât need to. She knows sheâs safe now. She knows that the danger is over, even though itâs going to take a long time for her to truly feel like it. But she trusts you. Thatâs what matters most.
Her grandparents step forward now, gentle and patient. Her grandmother reaches out, her hand trembling slightly, but Madelyn doesnât move. She looks up at you one last time, and itâs like sheâs asking you for permission. You nod, brushing a hand over her hair one last time, offering her the comfort and security sheâs going to need in the days to come.
âYouâre going to be okay, Maddie,â you repeat, knowing itâs true. Youâve done everything you could for her, and now itâs time to let go.
Madelyn doesnât look back as her grandparents gently lead her out of the room. She doesnât cry, though youâre sure the tears will come later. For now, sheâs holding herself together, with the knowledge that sheâs safe, and that sheâs going to be okay.
â
The hum of the office is soothing in its familiar monotony. You step inside, the heavy weight of the case finally lifting from your shoulders. Itâs strangeâpart of you feels relief, the other part feels like an echo of something left behind. Something you didnât quite expect to feel, but there it is, nestled in your chest, quietly tugging at you.
You take a deep breath and walk to your desk, setting down your bag and the files youâve been carrying all day. Then, without really thinking about it, you place the stuffed animal on the corner of your desk, the soft bunny now a permanent fixture in the workspace thatâs been both home and battlefield for so long.
Itâs a small thing, but itâs a thing that means something. And as soon as you set it down, you feel a soft exhale escape your lips. A sense of finality, of closure, as if everything has settled into place.
The case is over. Madelyn is safe. But something about thisâabout the stuffed animalâfeels like a piece of you that will always remain in that small room with her, in the moment when you promised to keep her safe.
You donât realise Spencer is watching you until you hear his soft voice.
âShe gave it to you,â he says, a quiet smile tugging at his lips.
You glance over at him, momentarily surprised. His gaze is soft, understanding, and thereâs a certain warmth in his eyes that youâre not sure youâre ready for.
You glance back at the bunny and then back at Spencer. Itâs an odd feelingâthe way heâs looking at you, almost as if he sees more than just the case, more than just the professional side of you. He sees the part of you that changed over the past 36 hours.
âShe did,â you say, your voice low, not quite sure what to say after that. Itâs true, but you hadnât really thought it through. You hadnât thought about what this moment would mean.
âYou didnât have to take it,â Spencer offers gently, taking a step closer. âBut I think itâs... a good thing. That you did.â
You swallow, unsure how to process the mix of emotions stirring in your chest. Itâs strange, this feeling. The feeling of having kept a promise, of having kept someone safe. Youâve done this kind of work before, but never like this. Never with this kind of personal connection.
âYeah,â you say, your voice thick with something you canât quite put into words.
Spencer steps closer, his posture relaxed, yet thereâs an unspoken care in his movements. He looks at youâsoftly, steadilyâand you feel the warmth of his presence settle around you. He reaches a hand out, his fingers brushing over the edge of your waist. Itâs a gesture thatâs comforting, gentle, not pushing, just there.
âYou okay?â he asks, his voice barely above a whisper, as if heâs afraid of breaking the moment. His touch is subtle, yet you can feel the tenderness in his gesture.
You nod, but the answer feels incomplete. How do you explain that you're fine, but also changed? How do you explain that the girl who clung to you, who trusted you with her safety, left something inside you that you hadnât expected to find?
âIâm fine,â you say finally, because itâs easier to say than to explain.
Spencer doesnât press, doesnât ask for more details. He just gives a soft nod, his fingers still lingering for a moment longer than necessary before he steps back slightly. He doesnât push. Heâs always been good at giving space when needed.
âWant me to take you home?â he asks, his voice gentle. âOr⊠we could just go somewhere. Get some food. Something to relax.â
The offer is simple, but you can tell that itâs more than that. Itâs his way of letting you know heâs there for you, not out of obligation, but because he wants to be. Because he sees you in a way that not many people do.
The soft affection in his voice, the quiet care in his wordsâitâs enough to make you feel like maybe, just maybe, youâre not as alone as youâve felt in the past.
You glance at him, a soft smile tugging at the corner of your lips. For a moment, the world outside the office fades, and itâs just the two of you. Heâs standing there, so patient, so steady, and the weight of the last 36 hours begins to feel a little less heavy with him around.
âThatâs be nice,â you say finally, surprising yourself with the answer. You donât know why, but you do. You could go home, retreat into the silence of your apartment, but thereâs something about the idea of being with himâof having someone there, someone who understands, someone whoâs seen the way youâve changedâthat feels better.
Spencer smiles, a quiet relief crossing his face. He steps forward, offering you a hand, and you take it without hesitation. His fingers close around yours, warm and comforting. Itâs a simple gesture, but it feels like a promise, like something new is beginning.
âLetâs go then,â he says, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.
who needs a valentine when we have cold!reader and Spencer kissing on the 14th
đ«đđđ€đ„đđŹđŹ đąđŠđ©đźđ„đŹđąđšđ§đŹ.
spencer thinks youâre too reckless sometimes. too impulsive. you donât exactly prove him wrong.
spencer reid x cold!reader â 3.4k â cold!reader masterlist.
main masterlist.
A/N | and thus, the romance arc begins. the amount of requests for this is so funny đ
The air is thick with tension as the team moves through the abandoned office, the only sounds the distant creak of shifting metal and the quiet shuffle of boots against concrete.
Flashlight beams slice through the dim light, illuminating dust swirling in the air. The unsub is here. You know it like you know the feeling of a storm comingâan electric charge beneath your skin, a pull in your gut.
Your grip on your gun is steady, but your pulse thrums with anticipation. You keep your breathing measured, sharp eyes scanning the shadowed corners of the room.
The others are moving carefully, methodically, sticking to protocol. Spencer had warned you earlier, voice low but insistent: âPlease donât take unnecessary risks. We donât know what weâre walking into.â
He worries too much. Itâs something youâve come to expect from him, but it gnaws at you differently than when others do it. With Spencer, itâs not condescending or dismissiveâitâs genuine. He cares, and that unsettles you more than it should.
Which is exactly why you ignored him.
Movement flickers at the edge of your vision. A shadow slipping through a half-open door at the far end of the warehouse. Your instincts scream at you to move. To act. The others are too far behind; if you wait, the unsub could disappear.
You donât hesitate.
âGoing left,â you mutter into your comms, but you donât stop to explain further. You slip through the doorway, gun raised, ignoring the sharp crackle of your earpiece as Spencerâs voice comes through.
"Waitâ Donât go in aloneââ
But youâre already inside.
The room is colder than the rest of the building, the air thick with the metallic tang of rust and something elseâsomething sharper. Itâs nearly pitch dark, the only light filtering in through a broken window near the ceiling. Your heartbeat is steady, controlled, but your muscles coil tight, ready to spring.
A shift. A whisper of movement.
Thenâ
Pain.
A white-hot sting tears through your side before you fully register whatâs happened. Your breath hitches as you stumble back, your free hand instinctively pressing to your ribs. It comes away slick with blood.
Shit.
Your body reacts before your brain catches up. You fireâonce, twiceâand the gunshots are deafening in the enclosed space. The figure in front of you jerks and collapses, the dull thud of their body hitting the ground barely registering through the rush of blood in your ears.
The room tilts slightly. The pain sharpens. Your legs feel unsteady beneath you, but you grit your teeth and straighten, forcing yourself to stay upright.
Thenâfootsteps. Fast, urgent.
A second later, Spencer bursts into the room.
âOh my godâ We need a medic in here!â
His voice is tight, breathless, as he skids to a stop in front of you. His eyes, wide with panic, dart from your face to the growing stain on your shirt. And then heâs moving, closing the distance in an instant, dropping to his knees beside you before you can so much as protest.
His hands replace yours, pressing down on the wound, and you hiss at the sharp pressure.
âJesus, Reid,â you bite out, trying to push him away, but he doesnât budge.
âItâs fine,â you grit through clenched teeth, but even you can hear the slight tremor in your voice.
âFine?â His voice cracks, his breath coming fast, like heâs been running. âYouâre bleeding, and youâGod, why would you go after him alone?â
You try to roll your eyes, but the action is weaker than you intend. âHeâs down, isnât he?â
Spencer lets out a sharp breath, and you catch the way his jaw clenches, the flicker of something dark and unreadable in his eyes. His fingers press harder against your side, grounding you, keeping you here.
âYou could have diedââ His voice is lower now, rougher, and it makes something twist uncomfortably in your chest.
You try to scoff, to deflect. âWouldnât be the first time.â
âThatâs not funny.â
You freeze.
His voice is raw. Unsteady. And when you meet his eyes, you see something there that you donât want to seeâsomething that makes the air between you feel too heavy, too charged.
Youâve seen Spencer worried before, but this is different. This is something deeper. Something dangerous.
And for a moment, itâs just the two of you.
His hands are warm, firm but careful. Heâs so close, close enough that you can see the way his throat bobs as he swallows, the slight tremor in his fingers despite the pressure heâs applying to your wound.
Heâs afraid.
Not in the way most people would be. Not in the way someone fears losing a teammate.
Itâs different with him.
And that realisation sends something cold through your chest.
You should push him away. Should tell him to back off, that you donât need him fussing over you like this. But your head is light, and the pain is making you sluggish, and his hands are keeping you steady in a way that you donât want to think too hard about.
So, for once, you donât fight it.
Just for a moment.
Then, the rest of the team rushes in, and the fragile thing between you shatters.
â
The hotel room feels too small. Too bright. Too loud.
You shouldnât be hereâyou should still be in the hospital, technicallyâbut the second the doctor said you were stable enough for discharge, you signed the damn papers and got out of there.
You donât do hospitals. They make you feel trapped, restless, like youâre waiting for something to go wrong. So you took the out, ignored the side-eye from the nurse, and made your way back to the hotel with nothing but a few high-grade painkillers and a warning to take it easy.
Right. Like that was going to happen.
Now, sitting on the edge of the bed, stiff and exhausted, youâre starting to regret it. Not because of the painâyouâve had worse. Not because of the exhaustionâyou can push through it.
But because Spencer wonât stop hovering.
Heâs been like this since you walked through the door, tracking your every move with sharp, restless eyes. He wonât sit down, wonât even lean against the desk or the wallâhe just stands there, pacing slightly, rubbing his fingers together in that nervous habit of his.
And worst of all? He hasnât stopped talking.
"You canât keep doing this,â he says again, voice tight. âOne day, youâre going to get yourself killed.â
You sigh, forcing yourself to keep your expression blank. Here we go.
âIâm fine,â you say, each word clipped and deliberate. âIâm sitting here, arenât I?â
âThatâs not the point.â
Thereâs something sharp in his voice now, an edge you donât hear often. Spencer doesnât yellânot reallyâbut this is worse. His frustration is controlled, simmering just under the surface, and it makes your skin prickle in a way you donât like.
âThe point,â he continues, stepping closer, hands moving in short, tense gestures, âis that you ran into a room alone, without backup, without knowing what you were up againstââ
âI knew enough,â you cut in, irritation flaring.
Spencer lets out a short, incredulous laugh, but thereâs no humour in it. âEnough? Enough that you got stabbed?â
His voice rises slightly at the end, and you swear thereâs something like desperation in it.
You exhale through your nose, gripping the edge of the bed. Breathe. Keep your cool. You donât want to fight with him.
Except, maybe you do.
Maybe it would be easier to push him away, to make him angry enough to stop looking at you like thatâlike you matter too much. Like you scared him.
âI got nicked.â you say, your voice flat. âThatâs part of the job, Reid. We all take risks.â
âThis wasnât just a risk,â he snaps, eyes flashing with something dangerously close to anger. âIt was reckless.â
You scoff, shaking your head. âYouâre not my minder, Reid.â
His jaw tightens. His whole body goes tense, like heâs holding something back.
âThen stop making me feel like I have to beââ
The words hit you harder than the knife had.
You inhale sharply, but he doesnât give you a chance to recover.
âDo you even realise how bad it could have been?â he presses, voice lower now, but no less intense. âHow bad it was?â
You clench your jaw.
âI know exactly how bad it was,â you say, quieter now, your voice cold. âI was there.â
But he wonât let it go.
He keeps talking, keeps pushing, listing every single thing that could have gone wrong, every possible outcome that ends with you bleeding out on the floor, and itâs too much.
You canât breathe past the weight of it.
Itâs overwhelmingâthe concern, the intensity, the way heâs looking at you like youâre something fragile. Like youâre something he canât lose.
Like you matter.
You donât want to hear it.
You just want him to stop.
But he just keeps talking.
His voice is insistent, sharp with frustration but frayed at the edges with something softer, something worse. Heâs listing probabilities now, rattling off numbers and percentages like theyâre supposed to mean something to you.
Like hearing that there was a 42.7% chance of you bleeding out before medics arrived is going to make you rethink everything.
But itâs not the numbers that get to you.
Itâs him.
Itâs the way his voice wavers, just slightly, like heâs fighting to keep it steady. The way his hands wonât stay still, fingers twitching like he doesnât know what to do with them. The way his eyes are burning into you, dark and unreadable, except for one thing:
Heâs scared.
And you donât know how to handle that.
The worry in his expression is like a weight on your chest, pressing down hard enough to make it difficult to breathe. Itâs too muchâhis voice, his eyes, the intensity of it all. He wonât stop talking, wonât stop pushing, wonât stop caringâ
And you canât take another second of it.
So you do the one thing that will shut him up.
You kiss him.
It happens so fast, you donât have time to process it. One second, heâs standing in front of you, mid-sentence, his mouth forming words you donât want to hear, and then your hands are gripping his face, and your lips are on his, andâ
Everything stops.
Spencer goes completely still. Not just stillâfrozen. His breath catches, his entire body tensing like heâs just been short-circuited.
For the first time since this whole damn argument started, thereâs silence.
No words. No numbers. No probabilities.
Just you. And him. And the space where your lips meet.
For a fleeting, desperate second, you think it might actually work. That maybe this is enough to make it stop.
Then, the weight of what you just did slams into you.
Your breath stutters as reality crashes down around you, as you realise that the heat of his skin is real, that his hands have curled slightly at his sides like he doesnât know whether to push you away or pull you closer.
You pull back abruptly, your fingers slipping from his jaw as you take a step back, your heart hammering against your ribs.
But Spencer doesnât move.
He justâstares.
Wide-eyed. Breath uneven. Lips parted like heâs trying to form words but canât quite find them.
Like he doesnât quite believe it happened.
And the worst part?
You donât know what the hell to do next.
Your heart is pounding in your chest, too loud in your ears, and every instinct in your body is screaming at you to retreat, to put the walls back up and pretend nothing happened. Pretend it was just some mistake, some impulsive thing you did in the heat of the moment.
It was just a kiss, right?
Thatâs what youâll tell yourself. Thatâs what you have to tell yourself.
Your fingers tremble as you step back, your breath coming in shallow bursts. You can already feel the walls sliding back into place, the emotional armour rising to shield you from whatever this is. From the mess you just created.
You werenât supposed to care this much about Spencer. You werenât supposed to let yourself get wrapped up in himânot when your instincts always screamed at you to push people away, to keep things simple, to keep yourself safe. But now, standing here in the wake of your impulsive decision, you feel anything but safe.
And that terrifies you.
But before you can finish shoving the walls back up, before you can even start to deflect or pretend it didnât mean anythingâhe moves.
Itâs almost too fast, a blur of motion that catches you off guard. One second, youâre standing there, heart still hammering, and the next, Spencer is right there in front of you, his hands gently cupping your face, his gaze holding yours with an intensity that pins you to the spot.
You barely have time to think before he closes the distance again and kisses youâagain.
But this time, itâs different.
This kiss is slow, deliberate. Itâs not impulsive, not reactionary, not a desperate attempt to silence the chaos between you.
This time, itâs a choice. His choice.
His lips move against yours with purpose, as though heâs trying to tell you something with every brush of his mouth, something he couldnât say before. Something youâre too scared to hear.
And for a second, you want to pull away. You want to tell him this was a mistake, that you donât have time for this, for the complication, for the mess thatâs swirling between you both. But your body wonât listen to your mind. It wonât let you run this time.
Instead, you lean into it.
You let your hands reach for him, sliding up his chest to rest against his shoulders, feeling the warmth of his skin underneath the fabric of his shirt. The kiss deepens, and you realise with a sinking feeling that youâre not pulling away because you donât want thisâyouâre pulling away because you do.
Because you knew. You knew this was inevitable.
This moment, this connection, this tension between you both thatâs been building for so long, simmering just beneath the surface. You could feel it in every glance, in every touch that lingered a second too long.
Youâve both ignored it, buried it under layers of professional distance, under the constant chatter and the mission-driven focus that keeps you moving forward.
But it doesnât work anymore.
You canât ignore it anymore.
And as his lips press against yours, as you finally, fully allow yourself to feel whatâs been there all along, you realise that thereâs no going back from this.
The world feels like itâs holding its breath as you separate, suspended in the space between you both. Neither of you speaks for a long, heavy moment.
Thereâs a tension now, a thick, unspoken understanding that pulses between you, a thread that has always been there, but now itâs too palpable to ignore. You canât pretend like itâs not there anymore.
His hands are still on you, a soft warmth, but not quite enough to distract from the fire that lingers in the air. His fingertips hover at your waist, just shy of touching, as though heâs afraid if he holds you too tightly, something will breakâsomething more than the fragile tension thatâs just been shattered.
Youâre still so close. So close to something youâre not sure you can name.
You pull away slowly, reluctantly, when your body reminds you of the injury. Itâs a sharp, jarring painânothing too severe, but enough to make your muscles protest, enough to make you wince and break the moment.
Youâre trying to hide it, but the slight catch in your breath gives you away. Spencerâs gaze sharpens immediately, eyes flicking down to your side, where the bandage is just barely visible under your shirt.
âHey,â he says softly, voice quieter now, as if heâs finally realising the full weight of the situation. His hand moves to your elbow, guiding you carefully down to the bed, but not without a lingering touch. His fingers brush against your skin just a little too long, a quiet caress that makes your pulse spike again.
You sit down with a soft sigh, the sharp throb in your side a welcome distraction from the mess of feelings still swirling inside you. You try to focus on your breathing, but Spencer is still standing there, just a few inches away, looking at you like youâve just cracked the universe wide open.
Your eyes meet, and his expression is a mix of something you canât quite placeâconcern, sure, but thereâs something else there. Something that burns hotter, deeper, just beneath the surface.
He doesnât speak at first. He just watches you, like heâs waiting for you to do something. Maybe waiting for you to tell him this was a mistake, or to push him away again, or to tell him it didnât mean anything.
But you donât say anything. Neither of you do.
And then, as if testing the weight of the silence between you, he speaks your nameâjust your name, soft and careful, like heâs unsure of how to even say it after everything thatâs happened.
Itâs barely a whisper, like heâs afraid of what will happen if he says it too loudly. Or maybe heâs just unsure of what to do with the name now that itâs hanging in the air, heavy with the implications of everything youâve just shared.
You swallow hard, eyes flicking away from his, suddenly unsure of what to do with yourself. The walls youâd worked so hard to put up feel like theyâve crumbled, but youâre too proudâor too scaredâto admit it.
âAre you okay?â he asks, his eyes tracing the line of your jaw, as though trying to gauge how much of you is still the same, how much has shifted.
You donât answer right away.
Instead, you look at him, at the softness in his expression, the way heâs waiting for you to tell him what happens next. And in that moment, itâs impossible to pretend this didnât happen, that things are just fine, that the walls youâve so carefully built around yourself are still in place.
Because theyâre not.
Thisâwhatever this isâis real. And itâs not going away.
So you exhale, steadying yourself, and look back at him, finally allowing yourself to face whatâs there between you. âYeah,â you say, voice quiet, but steady. âIâm okay, Iâm fineââ
But whatever happens next, thereâs one thing you know for sure:
You canât pretend this didnât happen.
Not when everything between you has shifted so suddenly, so irrevocably. Not when youâre feeling more exposed than youâve ever been in your life, and the weight of Spencerâs gaze is both comforting and terrifying.
âI think I need to lie down,â
âYeahââ Spencer nods a little too quickly, hesitating before helping you under the sheets. âYeah of course, Iâll uhâ come and check on you in a few hours,â
You press your lips together, the phantom sensation of his still present. âThanks,â
"it was in 2020" oh so like a year or so ago. a couple years. im sorry 5? did you just say five? five years ago ?
Hate to admit, but I think you knew - Spencer x BAU!reader
âItâs always on the tip of my tongue, but I stop myself from saying it. Tell myself itâs not the right time or something dumb, but then you kiss me like you do.â
Hate to be lame, Lizzy McAlpine, FINNEAS
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader, 2nd person, no use of Y/N Summary: the dumb genius you're hiding feels for decides it's entirely appropriate to explain to you the intricacies of the science of love. 2.1k Content: pining, angst, fluff, SFW other than some cursing A/N: entry for @mggslover's lover's 1k event. Reader hides their feelings for each Spencer, but the words keep almost slipping out. Season 6 Spencer loves you and you love him back. I was too impatient to revise any of this, sorry in advance for any crap that doesn't make sense.
Itâs a typical Monday morning in the bullpen; the lack of a case means youâre all studying reports and finishing paperwork, and youâre grateful for the break; the team has been travelling a lot lately, and youâve fallen pretty far behind on reports. You try to stay focused, but your eyes dart around the room looking for any relief of distraction.
Your heart plummets into your feet as you look across from you, eyes landing on Spencer, lip pinched lightly between his thumb and forefinger; the lock of hair hanging in front of his eyes is criminal, accenting the crease in his forehead as he studies the report in front of him. His eyes flit around the page, reading faster than you could think. How were you supposed to do your job when he looked like that?
Suddenly your phone buzzes in your pocket with a text message; you pull it out only to find a text from Morgan, youâre drooling again, and your eyes snapped up to the sender, cheeks heating. Of course he was smirking, wiggling his eyebrows. You clear your throat loudly, unfortunately catching the attention of the very doctor youâre embarrassed over. âYou okay?â he asks, noting the blush on your cheeks, eyes quickly darting to Morgan who is trying to hide a laugh behind his hand.
âYes, Iâm fine,â you say, a little sharper than you intended. âI justâŠâ you shake your head, âhad something in my throat.â
He studies you for a second, and you can tell heâs not not really buying it. âDo you need some water?â he asks, already starting to stand up to go get you some water. At this, Morgan literally laughs out loud, and Spencer looks even more confused.Â
You clear your throat again, kicking Morgan from under your desks that were butted up beside each other. âNo, Iâm fine,â you say more clearly. Jesus christ. Spencer seems to accept the answer, but sits back down and continues reading, eyes glancing up at you every few minutes. You try to ignore him and go back to your work, but at this point, any chance you had at staying focused for the rest of the morning is totally shot.Â
âIâm going to get more coffee. Anyone want anything?â you ask the room, not waiting for an answer as you walk away.Â
You approach the break room, grateful to see that itâs empty. You honestly just need a second to yourself to cool off. The way that your body was almost in physical pain with the affection you had for Spencer was overwhelming to say the least, and you needed to get yourself in check. How lame. Spencer is your coworker, and even more importantly, your friend. These days you had to catch yourself before you said something stupid; three words haunting your dreams and almost slipping out in the quiet moments you shared with him.Â
Just this weekend, youâd spent Saturday night on his couch, gearing up for Halloween by watching through the idiocy of The Evil Dead. The two of you had popped popcorn, taking up either end of the couch, a large throw blanket covering both sets of legs. If your legs slotted in between his, it wasnât a signâafter all, the two of you had become cuddly over the last year, even if only in private and strictly platonically. You couldnât help but notice how Spencer seemed starved for touch, while at the same time unable to handle the stimulus of physical contact. You werenât sure why it was okay when it was the two of you, but you were happy to be the one he touchedâmaybe a little too happy (which he did not need to know.) Whether it was carding your hand through his hair, gently scratching his back (feigning absentmindedness, when in actuality all of your nerves were on high alert), or like this, sharing a blanket on the couch, you were grateful for the contact, and he was none the wiser.Â
You were snapped out of your reverie as the devil himself walked in, sidling up next to you as you brewed a fresh pot.Â
âDid you see that article I sent you about the science of physical attraction?â he asks, shooting right from the hip. You nearly cough, choking on your own spit. You manage to stave off a coughing fit, but not before heâs gently rubbing your back, trying to help. He turns to grab a glass of water, continuing obliviously, âBasically, all of our senses actually cause individual chemical releases in our brains. For instance, smelling someone youâre attracted to actually triggers a dopamine release, while physical touch releases oxytocin. And actually, seeing someone you love causes your body to release pheromones, so your body is really on your team.â He hands you a glass of water, and you choke it down.Â
âBasically, when we love, we love with our entire bodies. Scientifically, our body goes through more chemical changes when we are around people we love than most people realize; the release of norepinephrine in the reward centers in our brain even causes physiological responses, like when your heart races.â Or when you choke on your own spit. You wish heâd shut up.Â
âThatâs cool, Spence,â you squeak out, and if you sound nervous, he doesnât seem to notice.Â
âThe thing is, itâs difficult to say what makes us attracted to the people weâre attracted to,â and you notice a change in his voice. He is more timid, looking at the ground. âLove is chaotic, and the article suggests itâs actually impossible to predict how people will act when theyâre in love.â At this point, heâs petered out, and you realize heâs nervous.
What. The. Fuck.
âWhatâs really crazy is that your mind likely subconsciously knows you love someone before your conscious mind accepts it. The chemical reactions and changes that occur are almost metaphysically controlling your subconscious.â
You lose any logical train of thought as you realize how close he is standing. His smellâthereâs no cologne, but he smells like Spencerâoverwhelms your senses. Your pupils must be the size of saucers as you take him in, unable to drag your gaze away from his soft lips as he talks at you. His nervous cadence is contradicted in the proximity of his physical being, staring into your soul as he describes being in love.
His body towers over you, and as you stare up at him, the words are on the tip of your tongue, and it takes every ounce of will you have left to keep them locked behind your tightly pressed together lips. As if he canât help it, his hand reaches out to touch your jawline. âWhat are you doing, Spence?â you whine, out loud, and his hand snaps down.Â
âIâm sorry, I-Iâm not sureâ,â he stammers, backing away, but before he can get far, your feet are moving your body back towards him.Â
You stare into his eyes, mind filing away facts as you finally see them. The size of his pupils, the nervousness in his tone, the way you can see the pulse of his heart in his neck, pounding in front of you, so strong you can almost hear itâ
Someone behind you clears their throat, and you whip around to see Hotch. Your feet pull you quickly out of the room; if you hide from Spencer the rest of the day, hey, can you help it? Is there even another option?
-three days later-
Itâs Thursday night, and youâre on your way to the sports bar down the road from the office. Every time your team is in town on a Thursday, Garcia, JJ, Spencer and you all get together to play trivia (team name âCriminally Underratedâ, youâll take credit for that one). Youâre buzzing with excitementâthis week the theme for trivia is the tv show Friends, and you consider yourself a real expert on the topic.Â
Sure, youâve been mildly avoiding Spencerâand is he also mildly avoiding you? But youâre not nervous to see him, at least not anxiously nervous; in fact, youâre maybe even a little excited, ready to stomp around in some deeply charted, highly familiar territory again with your best friend. Surely the two of you can put any awkwardnessâor avoidanceâaside.Â
As you pull into the parking lot, you take note of the cars, noticing Spencer is here, but no Garcia or JJ. You park right next to him, and when you walk in, itâs easy to find Spencer, already in your usual corner booth with an ice waterâand you notice thereâs already a Coke on the table for you as well. You smile to yourself before stomping out the fire that starts to warm your insides as you walk up and slide into the booth next to him. You bump shoulders with him as he looks at you, a soft look on his face when he slides the cup of Coke over to you. âI already registered,â he said, sliding the answer sheet in front of you; heâd be letting you take the reins on this one, as his expertise apparently didnât extend to wildly popular nineties sitcoms.Â
You glance down at the paper, and donât miss the adorable smiley face scrawled on the âteam nameâ line on the quiz sheet. At that moment, you realize that any of the anxious energy youâve been harboring for the last few days is gone, and youâre instead filled with a bubbly, light hope that makes your head spin.
You take a sip of coke and pull out your phone to look at the timeâfifteen minutes until the trivia night starts, still plenty of time for Garcia and JJ to get hereâbut as youâre looking at your phone, you noticed three missed text messages, all from your trivia group chatâfirst message being Spencer noting he grabbed the table, and then a message each from JJ and Garcia apologizing and bailing. You canât help but notice the texts were delivered at suspiciously the same exact minute; you groaned internally, cursing them.Â
âWell, looks like itâs just me and you tonight,â you say sheepishly, showing Spencer your phone. As he reads over the texts, he frowns, and you start to feel nervous tension again, sparked at the idea that the two of you would be alone again for the first time since⊠whatever had happened in the break room on Monday.
âI donât know anything about Friends,â he mutters, and the little pout on his face is fucking adorable. This was going to be impossible.
You pause to think, contemplating if what you were about to suggest was wise, but all of a sudden you pull some form of superhuman strength to the surface and put on your bravest face. âDo you want to skip this? You could come over, if you want⊠like, maybe we could watch Friends. For educational purposes, you know,â you hide your hope behind a joking tone, providing some bravery. You canât help but feel like youâve just put your heart out on a line, unsure that youâd ever be able to recover if he didnât bite. Luckily, he bites in the form of a giggle, and your heart soars.
âI suppose I could put in the effort,â he smiles, and he pulls a ten dollar bill out of his pocket to leave on the table before you walk out the door together.Â
The dark of the night sky envelops you, and an undeniable buzz hits your bones as you realize how close the two of you are, brushing up against each other as you slowly make your way to your cars. You both stop when you get to the hood of your jeep, an easy stillness settling into you as you turn to him and look into his eyes. You search his eyes, his words flashing through your mind, seeing someone you love causes your body to release pheromones, and some animalistic part of you hopes he can smell them. After a moment, his finger lightly brushes the back of your hand, and he steps closer. Something zips through you at his touch, lighting up every nerve ending from your toes to your head, and you canât help but think about how itâs probably oxytocin. You shakily sigh, closing your eyes and leaning into him. When he kisses you, the feeling of his lips creates a shockwave that courses through you, smashes through your resolve, and as you surrender to the feeling of falling, the words fall off of your tongue in a whisper.
âI love you too,â he promises.
The science of falling in love.
Angela face studies â
(hurt my back so im getting into the swing of drawing again âïž)
A couple episodes into dressrosa WHERES MY BOY
I will fall in love with you over and over again!!!
Tele and penelope listening to his tales â
đŹđđđ§đđšđ«đâđŹ đđąđ§đđŹđ.
a case involving female students being murdered in their dormitories brings the team to stanford university. You have more of a connection to it than you originally realise.
cold!reader â 8.4k â cold!reader masterlist. â main masterlist.
CW | typical criminal minds violence, violence against women, detail of murder and injury, abuse of power, student-professor relationships, miscarriage and abortion, character death, manipulation, cynicism
âThree women, all doctorate students of Stanford University, have all been killed inside their dorm rooms in the last two weeks,â Thereâs a click of a button, and then three images flash up on the screen, headshots of the girls. âAll three were found with their stomachs cut open and their reproductive organs removed,â
What a lovely way to start a Monday morning.
âSo much for the best University in California,â Morgan nudges your arm with his elbow, and your roll your eyes.
âWhat was the medical knowledge of the unsub?â
âYou tell me,â JJ clicks another button on her remote, and the smiling photos of the victims are replaced with their crime scene photos.
Hands and feet tied to their beds, a large incision at the pelvic bone that had been stretched open to leave the internal organs bare, and the uterus cut out of the body. The surface knowledge was there, but the execution was not. Messy lines and uneven incisions that left the gap left in the victims more blood and tissue than actual hole.
âSo weâre not looking for a professional then,â Morgan points out the obvious with a cross of his arms, leaning back in his chair.
âThey clearly know something about it though,â Spencer leans forward as Morgan leans back, squinting his eyes like itâs going to make the images clearer. âThereâs several different ways to perform a hysterectomy, but for a complete hysterectomy like our unsub is doing, the most common method is to start with an incision just above the pelvic bone,â
Weâll discuss the details of hysterectomies whilst weâre on the plane,â Hotch taps both of his hands on the table as he stands. âGather your things, wheels up in thirty,â
Thereâs a chorus of âYes Sir,âs as you all follow him out of the conference room to return to your respective desks and gather your belongings for the flight, an air of fatigue still surrounding the group even through the graphic imagery you were presented with.
âGoing back to your alma mater, how do you feel?â Morgan clasps his right hand into a fist and holds it out to you like an invisible microphone.
You push it away without much thought as you pack your laptop into your bag, rolling your eyes at him for what feels like the tenth time since youâd walked through the door an hour ago. âItâs been almostâ no, it has been ten years since I graduated, whatâs there to âfeelâ?â
âOkay robot face, damn, no lingering love for the College that gave you your career?â Morganâs taunt is laced with that familiar air of light-heartedness thatâs there to remind you that he really is just poking fun, but youâve never been very receptive to his humour.
âNo.â
He lets out a sharp laugh in a mix of amusement and surprise, opening his mouth to make another comment, but the expression on your face tells him youâre definitely done talking about the topic.
He does have some self restraint.
â
Stepping out of the San Jose International Airport almost felt like going into a time machine, spitting you right back out where youâd left that decade ago just 18 miles from your old campus.
It felt even more surreal actually reaching Stanfordâs main site, walking around the place youâd dedicated four years of your life to. Not much had changed since youâd left, not that you really expected it to, but it felt almost foreign to you to walk around the campus as you were now, a properly matured adult compared to the almost naive teenager you started as.
You began where you always did, at the most recent crime scene, a college dorm room on the south-east side of the campus.
It was pretty standard, a bedroom big enough for a double bed and a desk, a built in wardrobe, and a private bathroom; Decorated how you would expect from a girl in her early twenties, covered in memories and interests that gave it a personality outside of the off-white paint on the walls.
Of course, it was mildly ruined by the fact the previously pink bedsheets were stained in a pool of oxidised blood that dripped down onto the rug adorned floor and ledger small spatters on the skirting boards, but what can you really expect when the girl had been cut open whilst she was still alive and most definitely struggling against it.
âThereâs no signs of forced entry,â All Morgan could do was shrug as he examined the fire door that acted as the roomâs only entrance. âThe inside lock was unfastened and thereâs no marks indicating it was forced open, or that it even could be without heavy grade tools,â
âSo our unsub had his own key then?â
âOr,â Emilyâs suggestion was side-stepped by Spencer, âHe was let in,â
Thereâs a small hum from Hotch as he stands beside you, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed. âAlright,â He turns his eyes onto you with a small nod, âTake Prentiss to the Mortuary and check the autopsy. Morgan, Reid, get Garcia to find a list of professors the victims shared and go and speak with them, they mightâve noticed a change in the girlsâ behaviours before their deaths.â
âWill do,â
âGot it,â
Thereâs a series of shared nods between you as you spilt up, leaving Hotch, Rossi and JJ at the crime scene in search of any more information they could utilise.
â
Trying to catch a Professor when theyâre not busy is harder than most people would think. So hard in fact that Spencer and Morgan had been left with standing inside one of the lecture rooms to endure the last twenty minutes of a forensic psychology lesson so they could get the professor between classes.
âProfessor Callahan?â
âFor any personal feedback on your essay please send me an email,â The professor doesnât so much as look up from the papers he collects and organises on his desk, seemingly already in a rush even after barely two minutes of the lecture ending.
Morgan and Spencer share a glance.
âMy nameâs Dr Spencer Reid, and this is Agent Morgan, weâre from the FBI,â
Callahan looks up this time, rectangle glasses reflecting the two back to each other through the overhead lighting.
âWe were hoping we could ask you a few questions, Sir,â
Spencer watches the Professorâs eyebrows knit in confusion before his eyes spark with a hint of realisation, and then understanding.
âYes, of course,â He nods, collecting the pile of papers in his right arm. âPlease, follow me into my office,â
His office is filled with bookshelves stacked with psychology texts and framed accolades lining the walls. Small busts of philosophers in the mpty spaces. His desk is littered with small rememberences of his former students, and lining the opposite wall is another, a small plaque reading Dr. Wittchen at itâs forefront.
âDid you notice any changes in the girlsâ behaviour, or anything unusual leading up to their deaths?â Spencerâs question is cautious, if not a little bit emotionally insensitive.
Callahanâs expression shifts to one of concern. âHonestly, I hadnât noticed anything alarming. They were all such high achievers, incredibly driven. The stress of their programs sometimes affected them, but nothing out of the ordinary.â
Spencer nods, then glances toward the accompanying desk. âWhat about Professor Wittchen? Does he interact with the students much?â
Callahan hesitates, his brow furrowing slightly. âRobert is highly respected, very dedicated to his work. He can be a little tough on their grades, but more often than not heâs sat in here doing one-on-one tutoring in his spare time,â
Spencer hums softly at Callahanâs assessment. âDo you know if he turoed any of the girls? He might have a better insight into any changes in their mannerisms,â
âIâm not sure Iâm afraid,â Callahan shakes his head, âI leave him to his teachings most of the ime, but I can let him know youâve asked,â
As they speak, Morganâs gaze drifts to a nearby display shelf adorned with photographs of past students on the far wall, each one framed and labeled with a name and a date.
Etched into the wood of the shelf itself an engraving reading, âShelf of Stars.â stood front and centre, and as Morganâs eyes wandered the pictures, a certain label caught his attention.
Front and centre, there you sat, â2006 PhDâ followed by your name, a picture of you and your Professors in whatâs presuambly your first year.
âNo way,â Morgan breathes out a laugh. âReid come look at this,â
âWhat? Whatâs wrong?â Spencer and Callahanâs expressions mirror each other as they glance over at Morgan in concern, only for him to quash any need for worry as he holds up the frame in their direction.
âLook how different she looks! What happened, did she get hit by a truck when she turned 20 or what?â
Thereâs a flicker of recognition in Spencerâs eyes, one that almost turns to fondness as he takes in the bright smile printed behind the glass. Heâs not sure heâs ever seen you smile like that since youâve been with the team.
âYou know her?â Callahan raises an eyebrow.
âYeah, yeah, sheâs on our team,â Morgan nods with a chuckle as he places the picture back where he found it, pulling out his phone to snap a photo, probably to make fun of you later.
âReally?â Professor Callahan looks more than a little surprised at the revelation. âI knew she was destined for great things, but the FBI, wow,â He breathes out a short sigh, nodding. âRobertâll have a field day when he finds out she chose forensics over clinical,â
Spencer gives whatâs almost a laugh, clearing his throat. âWell, Professor, thank you for speaking with us, weâll contact you if we find any more information,â
âNo problem at all, my door is always open,â Callahan follows Spencer and Morgan over to the office door, holding it open for them as they leave.
âOh, Agents?â He stops them before they get too far. âIf you have any time in or after your investigation, ask her to pay us a visit? Itâd be nice to catch up,â
âWeâll let her know,â
â
âFrom what I can tell, the removal of the uterus was done antemortem, and the victims cause of death was the blood loss that resulted from it,â The Coroner lifts the muscle torn by the initial incision to give you and Emily a proper look at the damage.
âThe nature of the incisions tells that they were most likely done with proper surgical instruments, a scalpel most likely, but their nature is unpracticed, see here for example,â
She points towards the left side of the victims pelvis, where the muscle had been separated from the uteral lining. âIn a professional hysterectomy, this tissue here would also be removed, but in this case itâs been left attached to the surrounding tissues, and the same can be said for the others,â
âSo our unsub knows the basics, is that something that would require medical training?â Emily furrows her eyebrows at the sight, and youâre much the same.
The sight is almost enough to make you feel nauseous, but you donât need sickly thoughts clouding your judgement right now.
âPossibly, although with how the internet is, itâs possible they read an article or watched a documentary on how the procedure is done,â The coroner sways her head side to side, âIâd say that whoever did this has had some training, but not necessarily in the field,â
Emily hums, turning her gaze from the victim towards you. âMedical student maybe?â
You hum absently, eyes trained on the gaping hole left in the girlâs stomach. âMaybe, probably wonât still be a student though,â
It affects you more than it should, you think, a malingering nagging in the back of your head that wonât leave you alone but also wonât tell you why itâs there in the first place.
You sigh, âWe should look at biologists too, clinical fields,â
Emily gives you an agreeing nod. âIâll call Garcia,â She pats your shoulder deftly as she leaves the room.
âWas there anything else strange about the body?â You tear your eyes away from the girl to look up at the coroner, who only gives you a small shake of her head.
âNot that I can see,â Her gaze, though objective, flickers with small amounts of uncertainty. âItâs so upsetting, things like this, what spurs someone to do something so⊠primally horrific?â
âA rejection probably, a denial of a sexual relationship or children thatâs projected onto other women because he canât get to the person he really wants to hurt,â You shrug out an exhale. âMore common than youâd think,â
She frowns. âitâs awful,â
âYeah,â You purse your lips together. âBut it is what it is,â
â
âDid the three girls have any clear connections?â
Garcia taps away on her keyboard, and the jingling of her earrings over the reciever suggests that sheâs shaking her head. âApart from being Stanford students, not really. Julie was doing an MsC in Pediatric Therapy, Ophelia doing an MA in History of Medicine, and Marie doing a PhD in Psychology.â She sighs. âNone of them had any classes together, no mutual friends, I donât even think they knew the others existed,â
âThere has to be some overlap,â Morgan groans exasperatedly, glancing over at the mostly bare profile board that him and Spencer were trying to put together. Theyâd spoken to most of the girlsâ professors by now, and apart from offhanded comments about stress and pressure, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
It was frustrating, really frustrating, and for all they knew, the team was on a time limit before another girl suffered the same fate. They needed a break in the case, sooner rather than later.
âWhat about the students Emily asked you to look into? Spencer bends almost awkardly towards Morganâs phone, trying to raise his voice into the speaker whilst still writing against the whiteboard.
âNada, Iâm afraid, no one who had connections to all three girls, past or present, Iâve hit a wall,â
âNo kidding,â Morgan exhales heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose with the hand not holding his phone. âThanks anyway, sweetness,â
âOf course my love, Iâll hit you back if I find anything, Penny G out,â â
âSo weâve got three dead girls, no connections, and no signature to help us track down this guy, lovely,â Emily sips on her coffee, leaning back into her chair with a sigh.
âIsnât this like every other case weâve ever had?â You raise an eyebrow is disinterest, stretching you arms above your head and almost hitting Morgan in the face as he and Spencer reenter the room from their lunch break.
The Psychology department had been kind enough to loan you one of their staff rooms during your investigation, and comments had already been made about Hotchâs demeanour as he walked around you like he was keeping an eye on a group of toddlers.
âThereâs something weâre missing here,â Rossi pours over the whiteboard with a disgruntled sigh, his palm dragging down the side of his face. âThereâs always something,â
Reid nods, tapping his pen against his notebook as he takes a seat. âEven perfectionists leave traces. Itâs just a matter of understanding their logicâhow they justify their actions.â
âChange of subject quickly,â Morgan holds up a hand as he walks around the table, his other hand landing on your shoulder. âTalking of leaving traces, who was going to tell us that you actually knew how to smile?â
You shrug his hand off of you with a furrow of your eyebrows. âWhat?â
âIâm talking little nineteen year old you beaming like you were trying to compete with the sun,â He digs his phone from his pocket, holding the screen out to face the group. âI mean look at this, look at you, its weird,â
You snatch the phone from him as soon as you recognise the picture. âWhy do you have that picture?â
âWe took a trip to see one of your old Professors,â Morgan wrestles the device back out of your hands before you have a chance to what he assumes will be deleting the evidence of your past sunniness. âHe asked to see you at some point by the way, wants to âcatch upâ,â
âDelete that photo, Morgan.â You cross one leg over the other with a huff.
âNo way, Ice Queen, Iâm gonna make fun of you with this forever,â
âI hate you,â
âI love you too,â He blows an air kiss in your direction.
The shrill ring of the door opening cuts through the room, snapping everyone to attention. A mildly out of breath PD officer leaning against the doorframe.
âThereâs been another one,â she says, her voice tight.
The room erupts into motion.
â
When you arrive, the scene is eerily similar to the others. The victim, a young woman in her early twenties, lies in the middle of her dorm room, fully clothed and carefully positioned. Her face is serene, as though sheâs simply sleeping. The blood pooling out of her lower abdomen tells you that sheâs not.
âVictimâs name is Natalie Yu. Twenty-one, Psychology major. She fits the profileâacademic, driven, top of her class.â JJ fills you in easily.
You step closer, your heart sinking as you take in the meticulous staging. The unsubâs reverence for his victims is apparent in every detail. No signs of a struggle. No personal belongings out of place.
Reid crouches near the body, his eyes narrowing. âSame as the others. No physical trauma that would suggest a cause of death other than bloodloss. Removal of reproductive organs.â
Morgan stands by the door, his jaw clenched. âThis guyâs escalating. Three murders in three weeks, and now this. Heâs not slowing down.â
Something catches Prentissâs eye. She kneels beside the victim and carefully lifts the edge of her blouse. Tucked neatly into the waistband of her jeans is a folded piece of paper.
âWhatâs this?â she murmurs, pulling on gloves before unfolding the note. The room goes still as she reads aloud:
âIt was meant to be you.â
You lean over Emilyâs shoulder to get a glance at the writing yourself. And then you immediately regret doing so. The handwriting is unmistakableâsharp, angular strokes that youâd recognise anywhere.
But you canât say that. Not yet.
ââIt was meant to be youâ?â Rossi repeats, stepping closer. âWhat the hell does that mean?â
Reid frowns. âItâs personal. Direct. Heâs targeting someone specific now.â
âIt could be a taunt,â JJ offers. âA way to throw us off or instill fear in the team.â
Morgan shakes his head, his expression grim. âNo. This is different. This isnât just about control anymoreâthis is about sending a message,â
âItâs personal,â Reid says again, his gaze sweeping the room. For a brief moment, his eyes land on you, and you feel like he can see right through you.
âExcuse me,â you manage, your voice steady despite the panic clawing at your chest.
You step outside, the crisp air hitting you like a jolt. Your hands shake as you pull out your phone, staring at the screen without really seeing it. The note wasnât just a tauntâit was a reminder. He knew you were here. Heâd known the moment you stepped onto campus.
It was meant to be you.
The words echo in your mind, a sinister promise that leaves no room for doubt.
â
âThis is different from the previous victims,â Spencer says, âThe note changes everything. If we assume the unsub has been fixated on someone specific all along, the other victims could have been surrogatesâstand-ins for the real target.â
Prentiss looks at him sharply. âYou think the unsub is escalating because the real target is now within reach?â
He nods. âExactly. The murders were practice, perfecting the method. But now that the target is accessible, heâs shifting focus.â
âGreat,â Morgan mutters. âWonderful.â
JJ gestures to the note. âWe need to figure out who heâs targetingâand fast.â
You stand by the door, your stomach twisting. You canât let them figure it out, not like this.
âIâll follow up on the note,â you say, forcing a calm you donât feel. âMaybe thereâs something about the phrasing or handwriting we can use to narrow down suspects.â
Morgan eyes you, his brow furrowed. âYou sure youâre good? Youâve been quiet since we got here.â
You nod quickly, brushing off his concern. âIâm fine.â
He doesnât look convinced, but he lets it go.
â
You barricade yourself in the staff room, spreading out the case files across the table. You stare at the note, the handwriting glaring up at you like a brand.
âIt was meant to be you.â
You were just a kid, desperate to prove yourself. He saw that. He used it.
You grip the edge of the table, your knuckles white. You canât let him win. Not again.
A knock at the door pulls you out of your thoughts. Itâs Spencer, holding a cup of coffee.
âThought you could use this,â he says, setting it down in front of you.
âThank you.â You manage a display of gratitude, but his gaze lingers, sharp and questioning.
âYouâve been off since we got here,â he says softly. âIs there something youâre not telling us?â
Your heart skips a beat. Reid is too perceptive for his own good, and you know he wonât let this go.
âIâm fine,â you lie. âJust tired.â
He doesnât look convinced, but he nods, stepping back. âIf you need to talk, Iâm here.â
As he leaves, you let out a shaky breath. The walls are closing in, and you donât know how much longer you can keep this to yourself. Not if you donât want anyone else to die because of it.
â
Spencer stands near the board, absentmindedly tapping his pen against his palm. Morgan is leaning against a table, arms crossed, while Prentiss and JJ exchange quiet remarks by the coffee pot. Rossi, as always, is seated with his chair tipped back, his eyes fixed on the board.
But itâs Hotch who breaks the silence. âThis unsubâs timeline is escalating, and the note makes it clear theyâre getting bolder. If we donât figure out their connection to Stanford soon, someone else is going to die.â
Morgan sighs. âWeâve gone through the victim profiles a dozen times. Thereâs no overlap other than the school. No shared clubs, professors, dorms, nothing. Itâs like this guyâs picking them at random.â
âNot random,â Spencer interjects, his voice sharp. âThe victims are stand-ins for someone else. Iâm sure of it. The note confirmed itââIt was meant to be you.â The unsub isnât just killing; theyâre trying to send a message to someone.â
Rossi tilts his head. âNone of them bear any significant physical relation to each other,â
Reid nods. âIt doesnât have to be physical. Itâs an ideal, thereâs something specific that ties all of the victims together, something linked to whoever the unsub is actually after,â
JJ frowns. âBut who is it? If itâs not one of the victims, how do we figure out who the unsub is fixated on?â
You tense in your chair, your hands curling into fists under the table. You can feel their eyes shifting to you, their collective attention like a spotlight burning against your skin.
Morgan raises an eyebrow. âYou did go here. Maybe thereâs something youâd recogniseâsomething weâve missed.â
You meet their gazes with forced calm, willing your voice to remain steady. âJust because I went to Stanford doesnât mean this case has anything to do with me.â
Prentiss leans forward slightly, her tone gentle but insistent. âNo oneâs saying it does, but if thereâs even a chanceââ
âThereâs not.â you cut her off, sharper than you intended. The words hang in the air, and you immediately regret your tone. It doesnât change anything though. âWeâre here because of the victims, not because I graduated from here a decade ago.â
The room falls quiet, and the tension thickens. Hotch watches you carefully, his unreadable gaze a weight you canât escape.
âI need some air,â you say abruptly, standing before anyone can argue. âIâll be back in a few.â
You leave the room before anyone can stop you, the sound of your boots echoing down the sterile hall.
â
Stanfordâs campus feels both foreign and familiar as you wander its paths. The sprawling quads and ivy-covered buildings havenât changed much in the years since you left, but the memories they stir feel sharp and raw.
You stop at a bench near the Psychology department, the cool breeze doing little to calm the storm inside you. Your arms wrap around yourself as if trying to hold yourself together.
âYouâre not fine.â
The voice startles you, but you donât turn around. Youâd recognise that soft, observant tone anywhere. Spencer.
He sits beside you, leaving a respectful distance between you, his lanky frame folding awkwardly on the bench. âYouâve been different since we got here,â he says after a moment. âQuiet. Hesitant. Thatâs not like you,â
You donât respond, staring out at the students passing by, their laughter and chatter a stark contrast to the weight in your chest.
âI know itâs not just the case,â he continues, his voice gentle but unyielding. âThereâs something else. Something youâre not telling us.â
Your jaw tightens. âI donât know what youâre talking about.â
âYes, you do,â
His certainty grates on your already frayed nerves, and you finally turn to him, your eyes flashing. âWhat are you trying to say, Reid? Spit it out.â
He hesitates, his brow furrowing as he chooses his words carefully. âI think you know who the unsub is. Or at least⊠you suspect,â
You laugh, the sound bitter and sharp. âThatâs a hell of an accusation.â
âIâm not accusing you of anything,â he says quickly. âIâm worried about you. Youâre not acting like yourself, and the way you reacted to that noteâŠâ He trails off, shaking his head. âIt was different. You looked like youâd seen a ghost,â
âMaybe Iâm just tired,â you snap, the defensive edge in your voice sharper than you intend.
He doesnât flinch, his gaze steady and unwavering. âItâs more than that. I can see it. Youâre scared,â
The word hits you like a slap, and for a moment, you canât breathe. Heâs right, of course. You are scared. Terrified, even. But admitting that feels like surrendering, like letting him win.
âStop it,â you say, your voice low and dangerous. âYou donât know what youâre talking about.â
Spencer leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he studies you. âI think I do. I think this unsub has a connection to you. And I think thatâs why youâve been avoiding usâbecause you donât want us to figure it out.â
Your hands curl into fists at your sides, and you glare at him, your composure threatening to crack. âYou donât know what he did to me.â
The words slip out before you can stop them, and the moment they do, you see the understanding dawn in his eyes. âWho?â Spencer presses gently. âWho are we talking about?â
Your chest heaves as you fight back the tears threatening to spill. âOne of my Professors.â
âDid heâŠâ Spencer hesitates in pressing the subject, a mix of his usual timidness when it comes to you and the fear that heâs broaching on a very concerning topic.
âIt was consensual.â
Spencer watches you closely, his eyes searching your face for a sign, some clue, as if trying to understand the puzzle that is your inner workings.
He doesnât push, but the silence between you both is suffocating. His voice is almost a whisper when he speaks again, but it still cuts through the heavy air between you.
"You were just a kid," Spencer murmurs, his words soft but no less sharp. "He took advantage of you when you were vulnerable, when you were still figuring things out. Thatâs manipulation."
You flinch at the truth of it, at the way he so easily sees the pieces of your life you've tried so hard to bury. You didnât want to think about him anymore, didnât want to remember how he twisted every gesture, every word, until it was all about him, all about what he wanted.
You can still feel the weight of his hands, the way he made you feel like you didnât have a choice, that this was all part of the price you had to pay to succeed, to be seen as worthy of your place in academia.
Spencer shifts slightly, his eyes never leaving yours. âHe used his power over you. You were just a kid, and he was a professor. Someone you trusted.â His words are steady, but they cut deep. "You were in a position where you thought you had to do what he wanted. But it wasnât your fault,â
âIt was consensual.â you say again, more firmly this time, though it feels like youâre trying to convince yourself rather than him, the words raw and drenched in a cold calmness you didnât really feel.
âWas it?â Spencer asks gently, his voice low. âIf you were 19 and you thought you had to do it to get ahead, was it really? Was it truly your choice?â
You feel the air leave your lungs, and you want to scream at him, to deny everything, to make him stop asking these questions, because the answers are too painful, too complicated.
But heâs right. You were a childâso young, so desperate to succeed, to make a name for yourself in a field dominated by people like him. You thought you were lucky when he took you under his wing, when he offered you guidance, extra attention, time. But you werenât.
âI had an abortion,â you finally confess, the words coming out in a broken whisper.
Spencerâs eyes widen, and for a moment, heâs silent, processing your admission. His lips part as though he wants to say something, but nothing comes. He doesnât push, though, just watches you, his expression a mix of sympathy and concern, but there's no judgment in it. Not like you expected.
âIn my shitty college dorm room,â Your voice catches, and you blink rapidly, trying to stop the sting in your eyes. âI thought I was dying. The amount of bloodââ You let out a shaky breath, your hands trembling in your lap. âI didn't know how to make it stop.Sometimes I wish it didnât.â
âDonât say that.â
Spencer leans in a little, his gaze intense, but gentle. âYou were just a kid,â he says softly, his words like a balm, soothing yet cutting through the guilt. âHe took advantage of you. It wasnât your fault. You didnât deserve that.â
You want to believe him. You want so badly to hear those words and let them erase the shame that has clung to you for so long. But the voices of doubt are louder in your head. The fear that somehow, deep down, it was your fault. That maybe you couldâve said no, maybe you couldâve gotten away before it went too far.
âI didnât tell anyone,â you say, your voice low, almost ashamed of the vulnerability. âI couldnât tell my parents or my friends⊠or anyone. It was like everything I worked for, everything I had, was tied to him. If I said something, everything wouldâve been ruined.â
Spencerâs brows furrow, and he lets out a soft exhale. âNo one should ever have to carry that weight alone, especially not at your age.â His voice is steady, but thereâs something deeply empathetic in his tone. âItâs not a burden you shouldâve had to bear by yourself.â
âI lied to him too,â you whisper, the confession hanging heavily in the air. âI told him I miscarried. He was devastated. He wasnât even angryâjust sad. But I didnât. I didnât feel anything.â
âYouâŠâ Spencer starts, hesitating to make sure he words his response correctly. âBeing in a state of shock is normal after a traumatic event,â
You shake your head. âI know what shock feels like. I was just numb. I murdered my own child and I didnât even feel guilty about it.â
Spencerâs jaw tightens slightly, a flicker of anger flashing in his eyes, but itâs not directed at you. Itâs directed at him, at the man who shouldâve protected you, not preyed on you. His voice is tight, but he keeps it calm.
âYou did what you had to do. Thatâs not your fault.â
âIt was alive. Seventeen weeks. I flushed it down the fucking toilet,â You drag your palm down your face, leaning forward until your elbows are resting on your knees.
âI didnât even want to graduate after that,â you admit, your voice raw. âI couldnât face him. I just wanted to disappear, but I was not going to put myself through hell without getting something out of it.â
Spencer is quiet for a long moment, taking in everything youâve said. His gaze never wavers from yours, like heâs trying to understand every piece of you, trying to reach that place where youâre still hiding, still locked away from the rest of the world.
âYou donât owe anyone an explanation for what happened. You did what you needed to survive. And you are surviving. But you donât have to do it alone.â
You close your eyes, letting the weight of his words settle over you. The storm inside you hasnât calmed, but for the first time in a long while, it feels like itâs not threatening to swallow you whole. The walls youâve built around yourself feel just a little more porous, itching to crumble.
âIâm scared,â you say, the vulnerability youâve been holding back creeping into your voice. âHeâs murdering people because of me.â
Spencer doesnât hesitate. He sits up straighter, his expression serious. âWeâll figure this out. Weâll help you, and weâll make sure that he doesnât hurt anyone else.â
âYou canât tell anyone what I just told you.â
He lets out a sigh of your name.
âPromise me, Spencer.â
âOkay,â He nods solemnly. âI promise.â
â
The moment you walk through the doors of the empty lecture hall, you feel itâthat same nauseating mix of dread and anticipation curling in your stomach. The air is stale, thick with the weight of memories you spent years trying to forget.
Heâs already there, standing at the podium like he belongs there, like nothing has changed. Like he hasnât left a trail of bodies behind him.
âAh,â Professor Wittchen exhales as if relieved. âThere you are,â
Your fingers twitch at your sides. âI shouldâve known youâd pick this place.â
His lips curve into a small smile, a smile that used to make you feel seen. Now, it makes your skin crawl. âItâs fitting, donât you think? This is where it all began,â
He watches you with the same unwavering gaze he always had, the one that used to make you feel specialâchosen. Now, it just feels predatory.
âI missed you,â he says simply, stepping closer.
You donât move.
âYou shouldâve visited,â he continues, his voice warm, inviting, like this is a casual conversation and not a confrontation between a killer and his last loose end. âYou were my brightest student,â
âI was your victim.â you correct, voice sharp.
His expression doesnât falter. If anything, he looks pleased. âVictim?â he echoes, like heâs rolling the word around in his mouth, testing its weight. âThatâs not how I remember it.â
You swallow hard, jaw clenched. You knew this was how he would react. Knew he would twist things, make them blurry, like he always had.
He tilts his head, studying you. âI heard you became a profiler. Thatâs impressive. Though I always thought you were more inclined to be a Psychiatrist.â
âYou shouldn't be surprised,â you say flatly. âI learned from the best manipulators.â
A flicker of amusement crosses his face. âNow, thatâs not fair,â
Your nails dig into your palms. âI know itâs you,â you say, cutting through the act. âYou murdered four innocent women because you couldnât move on.â
He exhales, almost disappointed. âThatâs not quite right.â
You donât let him continue. âWhy are you doing this? Why now?â
His gaze darkens, and for the first time since you stepped into this room, the warmth fades from his expression. âItâs been ten years since you left me,â he says simply. âYou never even had the decency to say goodbye. I tried to find a substitute, but they werenât like you. No body is. Youâre special.â
A shiver runs down your spine, but you force yourself to hold his stare. âI didnât owe you anything.â
Wittchen exhales through his nose, shaking his head like youâve disappointed him. âThatâs not true. I shaped you. IÂ made you.â
A bitter laugh escapes you. âYou ruined my life.â
His eyes flicker with something unreadable, and thenâslowlyâhe steps down from the podium, closing the distance between you. âYou donât believe that.â
Your breath catches, but you donât move.
He stops inches from you, his voice dropping to a murmur. âI see it in your eyes. You still need me.â
You know what heâs doing. You know how his mind works, how he bends reality to his will, how he rewrites history to suit his narrative.
And for the first time, you donât fall for it.
âYouâre pathetic,â you whisper. âYou think killing people will make me what? Love you? Miss you?â You shake your head. âYou mean nothing to me.â
Something in his expression shifts. Itâs subtle, but you catch it. The crack in his mask. The first glimpse of the monster beneath.
His fingers twitch at his sides.
There it is. The control slipping.
Good.
You see the flash of something dark behind his eyesâanger, frustration, maybe even desperation. He knows heâs losing control, and for a man like him, thatâs unbearable.
You take a step forward. Not away, but closer.
âI hate you.â you say, your voice sharp, cutting through the heavy silence of the room.
Wittchenâs lips barely twitch, but you see the flicker of amusement in his eyes, like he thinks youâre still playing a game with him. Like this is another debate, another test of wills.
âNo, you donât,â he murmurs. âNot really.â
Your hands curl into fists at your sides. âDonât tell me how I feel.â
He sighs, tilting his head like youâre disappointing him. âI did anything you didnât ask for,â he says, like itâs a fact. âYou wanted me.â
Rage burns through you, hot and all-consuming. âI was nineteen,â you spit. You knew exactly what you were doing. You took advantage of me.â
Wittchen exhales through his nose, shaking his head. âIt wasnât like that,â
âIt was exactly like that,â you snap, stepping closer. âAnd do you want to know the worst part? I spent years telling myself it wasnât. That maybe I did love you, that maybe I wanted to be with you. But I didnât.â
His jaw tightens, but he doesnât deny it.
âI donât regret leaving you,â you continue, voice trembling with fury. âI donât regret moving on, or never looking back. But do you know what I do regret?â
He doesnât answer, just watches you carefully, like heâs waiting for the killing blow.
âI regret ever letting you touch me. I regret every second I spent thinking you were something special, that you cared about me. You didnât. You only cared about what I could give you.â
Something shifts in his expressionâsubtle, but enough. His fingers twitch again.
You steel yourself and drive the dagger deeper.
âYou think I miscarried?â you ask, voice dropping to a whisper. âThatâs what I told you, right? That I lost the baby?â
His face remains eerily blank.
âI lied,â you whisper. âI had an abortion.â
His entire body stiffens.
âBecause the thought of being tied to you for the rest of my life made me sick. And I wouldâve rather died from sepsis than deal with you.â
The silence that follows is suffocating.
For a moment, Wittchen doesnât react. Doesnât breathe.
Then, without warning, he moves.
His hand goes for his waistband, and in a split second, you see the glint of a gun.
But youâre faster.
Your own weapon is already in your hands before he can fully draw his, aimed directly at his chest.
âDonât.â you warn, your voice steel.
Wittchen hesitates, his gun halfway raised, his eyes locked onto yours.
For the first time, thereâs something close to uncertainty in his expression.
â
The team is listening.
They hear every word.
Spencerâs grip on his gun is tight, knuckles white, jaw clenched so hard it aches. The rest of the team stands tense beside him, ears trained on the conversation happening just beyond the door.
They could go in. They should go in.
But they donât.
Not yet.
Because this isnât their battle.
Still, when they hear the shift in the conversation, the moment Wittchen reaches for his gun, every muscle in Spencerâs body tenses, ready to move.
And thenâ
Silence.
A long, stretching silence.
Then a single gunshot.
â
âYouâre lying,â Wittchen snaps, his voice rising as his fingers curl tighter around the revolverâs grip. He pulls back the hammer with a metallic click, the sound loud in the charged silence of the lecture hall.
His arm is steady, the barrel aimed at your chest, but you don't flinch. âYou miscarried. You were sick. Thatâs the truth. I took care of you. I was there when you needed me.â
Your lips curl into a bitter smile.
âThe baby was fine,â you say, voice cold and firm. âI just didnât want it.â
The words hang between you, heavy and raw.
For a split second, something akin to disbelief flickers in his eyes. But he recovers quickly, his jaw tightening as his grip on the gun tightens. The cold, calculating look is back.
The man who used his power over you is right here, still trying to control the situation. But heâs unraveling, and you can see it nowâthe cracks in his façade.
âYou think you can just walk away from all this?â Wittchen growls, his voice a low threat. His eyes dart between you and the gun in your hand, calculating the distance, the time it would take to react.
âYouâre going to watch me.â you reply, your voice steady despite the chaos swirling inside you. You take a step forward, gun lowered in favour of a pair of handcuffs.
He lets out a sharp breath, taking a step backwards, his arm still outstretched, but his expression is one of rage and something elseâdesperation.
âI gave you everything,â Wittchen sneers. âI couldâve given you more. You were a star, you were going places. But you threw it all away.â
âI didnât throw away anything.â you say, voice sharp, anger curling in your gut. âI made my life what I wanted it to be.â
You take another step toward him. Your hand grips your gun tighter, its cold weight a reminder of how far youâve come, how much youâve survived.
âI was a kid,â you say, quieter now, more dangerous. âA kid who wanted to make something of herself. But you? You made sure Iâd always be tied to you, that Iâd never escape your reach. You took that from me. And now?â
Now, youâre not just angry. Now, youâre done.
âI donât need you anymore,â you continue, voice quiet but lethal. âAnd I donât need to live in fear of you. Not anymore. Just give up.â
Wittchenâs face hardens. His finger moves closer to the trigger, and for a moment, it feels like time stands still. His eyes are cold, calculatingâheâs trying to force you to back down, to make you fear him again. But you donât. Not anymore.
And he knows it.
The silence stretches out, suffocating. And then, without another word, he turns the gun away from you and towards himself.
For a moment, the world is frozen.
The sharp scent of gunpowder lingers in the air.
You donât flinch.
You donât move.
Wittchen stares at you, almost smiling.
A slow, dark red stain spreads across his chest. His gun falls from his hand, clattering uselessly to the floor.
Then, his knees buckle.
He collapses.
The impact is dull, almost anticlimactic.
His breath comes in shallow gasps, and for the first time since you walked into this room, he looks small.
Weak.
The man who once held so much power over you is nothing more than a dying, pathetic heap on the floor.
And somehow, thereâs no satisfaction in it.
You watch as the light fades from his eyes, as the last breath leaves his lips.
And thenâ
Itâs over.
â
The gunshot sends the team into action.
Spencer is the first through the door, gun raised, eyes scanning the room for threats.
But all he finds is youâstanding still, gun loose in one hand, handcuffs in the other, staring blankly ahead.
Wittchen is on the floor, unmoving. Blood pools around him.
For a second, no one speaks.
Then you move.
Without looking at any of them, you turn away from the corpse.
And then, numbly, silently, you walk past them.
You donât stop when Spencer calls your name.
You donât stop when JJ reaches for you.
You just keep walking.
Because itâs finally over.
And yet, somehow, it doesnât feel like a victory at all.
â
The air outside the lecture hall is thick with tension.
Your gun feels heavy in your hands, and at some point, you register someone gently taking it from you. You donât resist.
The hallways of Stanford feel different now. The ghosts you tried so hard to forget have been exorcised, but their shadows still linger.
You reach the nearest exit and step outside, inhaling sharply as the crisp night air hits you. You brace your hands on your knees, grounding yourself.
Then you hear footsteps behind you.
You know itâs them.
You straighten, forcing yourself to meet their gazes.
Hotch stands with his arms crossed, his expression unreadable but his presence steady. JJ and Emily exchange a look, worry etched into their features. Rossi, as always, watches with quiet understanding.
Then thereâs Morgan.
He looks⊠shaken.
Guilt lingers in his eyes, and when he steps forward, his voice is lower, softer than youâve ever heard it.
âIâm sorry,â he says.
You blink, caught off guard.
âFor what?â Your voice is hoarse, raw.
Morgan exhales sharply, rubbing a hand over his jaw with his eyes full of regret. âI didnât know.â
You swallow hard. You donât want to talk about it. But thereâs something in his voice, in the way his usually confident demeanor falters, that makes you nod stiffly.
âI know.â
Itâs the closest thing to forgiveness you can offer right now.
Morgan nods, accepting it.
Spencer is the last to approach.
He doesnât say anything at firstâjust stands there, his hands shoved into his pockets. His eyes, though, say everything.
You hold his gaze for a moment before sighing. âWhat?â
âI donât know what to say,â he admits. His voice is careful, but thereâs an edge of something elseâfrustration, sadness, maybe even anger. Not at you. Never at you. But at what happened. At what Wittchen took from you.
âYou donât have to say anything,â you murmur.
â
The hum of the jet is steady and low, a constant presence that fills the silence between breaths.
You sit by the window, staring out at the clouds, your reflection barely visible against the dark glass.
You should be exhausted.
You are exhausted.
But sleep wonât come.
Your mind wonât let it.
The seat next to you shifts slightly, and you glance over to see Spencer settling beside you.
He doesnât say anything.
Doesnât ask if youâre okay, because he already knows youâre not.
Doesnât try to fill the silence with empty reassurances.
He just sits.
And somehow, thatâs reassurance enough.
Sleep comes a little easier after that.
muppet kremy can do the kermit face scrunch btw
i luv this man, steb is SO FINE