Steve told him not to say that, and Eddie frowned. Staring at his own knee, he tried not to feel bitter. He'd accepted the risks when he'd gone back- when he'd run off to distract the DemoBats to buy them all more time. A part of him had hoped he might survive, yeah, but this?
He was something he didn't fully understand, and despite his interest in dark and strange things, he'd never been dark. Not like this. Eddie Munson- despite the vicious rumors this town liked to spread- was not by any means a violent person. He didn't even like hunting or fishing, for Christ's sake! He didn't want to hurt anyone- much less again and again, for however long this was going to last.
If it ever ended. Eddie paled at the thought, shuddering. This couldn't it. This couldn't be... how it was, now. There had to be some cure, some way to fix this-
"It doesn't matter, man..." Eddie said miserably, running a hand down his face. "There's no intention is nine-tenths of the law when it comes to goddamn monsters," he snapped, dropping his head back against the wall and groaning. "... I'm gonna end up in a goddamn cage the rest of my life. Not even old enough to legally drink, and I'm-" he barked a bitter laugh. "Christ..."
He swore he wasn't going to end up like Al Munson, or like his father before him. That dealing drugs was just to help Wayne catch up on his backed up bills, to help fund the road trip with Corroded Coffin out of Hawkins and to California to make a new life for them all. It was temporary.
And then he dealt to the Queen of Hawkins High. He watched her die in the most horrific of ways... and nothing was ever, ever going to be the same again.
"You know... you're not what I thought you'd be like,"
I wasn't back then, he thought, picturing her sweet laugh, the pleasantly relieved smile on her face. But I guess I kinda am, now.
Eddie picked at a loose thread in the blue jeans he'd borrowed from Steve. Everything he owned was locked away in evidence, and Steve had been nice enough to share his clothes so he wouldn't have to walk around in an ill-fitted, grave dirt and blood stained suit. But it felt strange, being clad in expensive, soft fabric that smelled like Steve. Everything hung a little too loosely, and the style was to polished- even the more relaxed fits like the thin sweater and jeans he wore now.
Steve's heart rate picked up, and Eddie's dark eyes looked up, locking on his chest. It was so loud. It was like a goddamn lunch bell screaming at him, and it made it so much more difficult to focus through his thirst- his senses locked onto the other like... like Steve was a rat, and Eddie was a goddamn snake. The temptation he felt to taste the air was not helping him fight the comparison, either.
Eddie was breathing hard through his nose, clenching his teeth against the urge to rush over and sink his teeth in, feel that blood rush and fill his mouth and warm him from the inside out-
"If you need to ... do it again, you can."
The metalhead blinked, surprised. "I- what?" Dark eyes were wide as Eddie looked up at the other with a baffled expression. "You're joking." He retorted. "You- Harrington, I almost killed you, last time. The hell do you mean do it again?" Eddie shook his head. "No. No way, man. I'm not- I don't- I don't want to hurt you, Steve!" He hissed, speaking lowly.