Hi

If you’re expecting consistency then I have some bad news for you

[aella-targaryen]

Rhaenyra, when Crispin Cole offered her Oranges and Cinnamon in exchange for leaving the Iron Throne 💀💀💀

[hellsite-yano]

nintendo copy right striked a fanart 3D model of Bowser's cock and, by doing such, has now confirmed what it canonically looks like

[telltalebatman]

here’s a link to the artist’s tweet about it, featuring the dick itself https://twitter.com/akkoarcade/status/1380764674656858117

[hellsite-yano]

[wickedwonderlandd]

I was truly expecting a Rick roll…but uhhh

[murderturtles]

[radiofreddie]

just crying over how romantic Freddie & Jim were nbd

[l0uvie-deactivated20191019]

So I read the book, and almost everytime Jim gave/made Freddie a gift, Freddie would always show it off and say “My husband got me those!” or “My husband made that for me!” It’s so sweet, especially for this one part when they first started dating:

[viroqu]

yeah?

[atticroach-deactivated20220125]

As you can see I have strong feelings about the orgy scene in Cats

[daco-broman]

the w-what

[highasaklaus]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[roachliquid]

whoever said humans have free will has never been forcibly compelled to watch bad movies because their celebrity crush is in them

[slappycat]

you hate me because you know i am funnier and sexier than you. when i jingle my little clown bells and do my silly little jester dance it fills you with anger that i can be so funny and also so sensual in my big, big clown shoes

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

teaching paddling courses to kids is so much fun because without fail every class will have one or two children who are terrified to the point of tears about getting into the canoe, and every time I ask them what they’re most afraid of. I ask genuinely, “what do you think is the worst thing that could possibly happen to you today? If something horrible happens to you today, what will that thing be?”

And it’s always that the boat will capsize, that they’ll fall in, etc.

In summer courses, the answer is easy. I just walk into the water wearing my life jacket, start floating, and say “this is what it looks like when your boat capsizes and you fall in. I’m doing it right now. I fell in.”

If it’s chilly out and I don’t want to spend all day wet, I tell them, “want to know something funny? We’re going to capsize on purpose later. We have to learn how to capsize so that we know how to help ourselves when it happens on accident. Do you think we’d so something on purpose that’s dangerous? What will happen is that we will all fall in the water, and our life jackets will hold us up. I know that, because it’s my job to check your life jacket. Then we’ll all float around until we get back in our boats, and then we’ll go inside and change. The worst part of it all is that you’ll be soggy.”

This has never failed me. They always calm down, get in the boat, and end up having fun the entire time. Time and time again, the Unknown is the ultimate fear, and a little bit of patience at the start is all it takes to keep things running smoothly.

All that said, my favorite kids are the funny ones who clearly respond well to humor, so I get to tell them, “I can absolute guarantee that no one is going to drown today. I would never let that happen, because I don’t want to have to fill out the paperwork.”

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

me: what’s gonna happen?

crying child: I’ll fall in the lake

me: *falls into the lake on purpose* like this?

crying child: 

:’ 0

>: O !!!!!!!

[marisatomay]

my brother has been criticizing me all day and he told me if i wasn’t happy i could go somewhere else so i wouldn’t ruin everyone else’s dinner so i took the massive bowl of pasta + special sauce i spent the last 2 hours making from scratch for the whole family and i left

[marisatomay]

it really is incredibly bold to mercilessly criticize the person who is not only making your dinner but also holding a knife

[marisatomay]

I sequestered myself in the other side of the house and ate my family-sized pasta from a mixing bowl using a serving spoon in the dark because the sun went down in the 2+ hours I spent stewing and I was too stubborn to turn on a light

[marisatomay]

the only person I shared my pasta with was my dad who on a conference call at the time and didn’t just stand there and watch my brother be an asshole like the rest of my family and since he came to me in my sanctuary with his bowl and asked nicely if he could have some pasta i did share with him

[marisatomay]

sometimes you’re an adult who has been quarantined with your parents, younger siblings, grandfather, and dog for the last 2 months because of a global pandemic and some nights you just have to take your pasta and Leave because you are an adult who knows when to tap the fuck out

[rivkahstudies]

OP thank you not only for the amazing image of you eating pasta in the dark and your father kindly pleading for your mercy but also a wonderful example of when to set firm boundaries and prioritize yourself bless u

[theradioghost]

I STEPPED OUTSIDE OF THE FRONT DOOR OF MY OWN HOME ONLY TO FIND THE DEER THAT TRIED TO KICK MY ASS LAST YEAR STANDING RIGHT THERE IN MY FRONT YARD. BOLD AS BRASS.

AM I NOT SAFE ANYWHERE ANYMORE

[theradioghost]

for those of you who were not here last year: this deer is the most obnoxious, unnatural red-orange color I’ve ever seen, only appears when it’s raining, and once chased me a quarter mile through the woods. her name is Hot Cheeto Hatred and she is my nemesis

[galuby]

dude, i think that’s a fairy

[ratfuck]

me at the fucking ballot counting office changing all the trump votes into biden votes so we can begin taking away all white kids from their parents and make them trans

[lastvalyrian]

in a few days a poor lawyer will be forced to remain serious while using this post as evidence in court

[nicollekidman]

natalie portman radiates such a terrifying energy i can’t describe it….. it’s not exactly evil but it’s not warm either…. i feel like she could unhinge her jaw and drag me into the ocean like a kraken but she wouldn’t bc it’s undignified 

[dancinginthesetrees]

Wanna know why?

“Oscar-winning actress Natalie Portman told the crowd at Saturday’s Women’s March in downtown Los Angeles that she experienced what she calls “sexual terrorism” as a 13-year-old after the release of the film The Professional.

Portman described her pride and excitement in releasing the film, only to encounter sexually explicit messages both directed toward her and made about her.

”I excitedly opened my first fan mail to read a rape fantasy that a man had written me,” she recalled. “A countdown was started on my local radio show to my 18th birthday, euphemistically the date that I would be legal to sleep with. Movie reviewers talked about my budding breasts in reviews.”

The experience, she said, changed the way she expressed herself publicly, in order to limit the ways she could be objectified by others.

”I understood very quickly, even as a 13-year-old, that if I were to express myself sexually, I would feel unsafe,” she said. “And that men would feel entitled to discuss and objectify my body to my great discomfort. So I quickly adjusted my behavior. I rejected any role that even had a kissing scene and talked about that choice deliberately in interviews. I emphasized how bookish I was and how serious I was. And I cultivated an elegant way of dressing. I built a reputation for basically being prudish, conservative, nerdy, serious, in an attempt to feel that my body was safe and that my voice would be listened to.”

Video of the speech here: https://www.vox.com/2018/1/21/16917130/natalie-portman-womens-march

[shaelit]

I support Natalie Portman unhinging her jaw and dragging every last man who made her feel this way into the deep like a kraken.

[deadfruity]

family photo

[loves-quinns]

Mike Flanagan really said, “yeah I, a man, know almost all men are shit :/“ and then wrote Peter Quint and then turned around and wrote like 5 different badass women and a meaningful lesbian love story. I don’t say this lightly but king shit

[beyonce-knowles-carter]

Led through the mist, by the milk-light of moon, all that was lost, is revealed. Our long bygone burdens, mere echoes of the spring, but where have we come, and where shall we end? If dreams can’t come true, then why not pretend? How the gentle wind, beckons through the leaves, as autumn colors fall. 

Somewhere lost in the clouded annals of history, lies a place that few have seen. A mysterious place, called The Unknown.

OVER THE GARDEN WALL (2014)

[beyonce-knowles-carter]

Come, wayward souls And wander through the darkness There is a light, for the lost and the meek Sorrow and fear are easily forgotten When you submit to the soil of the earth

Grow, tiny seed You are called to the trees Rise till your leaves fill the sky Until your sighs fill the air in the night Lift your mighty limbs And give praise to the fire

OVER THE GARDEN WALL (2014)

[loshka]

American Gods - Happy Easter! 🐇