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this is a vent blog, I'm a minor

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This is a vent blog

I'm a minor

I vent about concerning things, example: trauma, SH/ su!c;dal ideation, attachment issues, mental health issues, my ED'S, and smoking

If you do mange to find this blog: don't reblog or share my posts on your MAIN blog if it's on a vent blog or something I don't really care

Don'ts: invalidate me, make my vents about yourself, show people I don't allow on this blog my posts.

You can: offer ways of coping, comfort me, give advice, ask questions.

My main blog is @oh-look-a-homosexual-punk-boy

The ones I allow here (only interact if your comfortable, if your not just tell me):

@masked-artist-xp

@churgercheemz

@nexissupercool

@switchthedragon

@horrormovie-addict

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I ate food and now I feel disgusting because body dysmorphia has been kicking my ass lately

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I'm tired of living my life in fear, I just wanna be okay for once in my life, I wanna know what it's like to wake up completely happy and not terrified, I want to be normal in some ways, I just wanna be okay, I'm tired of this, I don't know how much more I can take

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I wanna cry but I'm scared I might throw up again

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Tomra, what the fuck? Why do you always do this??? We had plans, just because your mom is coming back on Monday does not mean that all of us wanna go with you and your mom, we had plans, and then we had our plans moved to fucking Monday, I hate it when there's just a sudden change in plans, we were gonna go tonight, I had a whole hairstyle, and makeup look planed for it, I had a sleep schedule, we were gonna go get some stuff for headphones, we were gonna finish the show we were watching and get ready, why do you always feel like you have to take everybody to your plans, with your mother

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Why do I miss him? Why do I miss the person who fucked me up? Why do I miss that bastard

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I am not well

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It was so crushed, the drivers side was so crushed, the paint curled up in little strips, I didn't even know paint could do that, there was so much glass, it was so destroyed that I didn't even know if all the parts around it were part of it, my dad, my own father was in that crushed up mess of a car, he was in there, he was sitting in there, he was under the dashboard, he was in there, and that fucking semi barley had any damage to it

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Ah yes, I love having nightmares when old white men tell me that I looked better with an eating disorder and making jokes about how my dad's car looked after the accident and how my dad must've looked in the car, I love waking up on the verge of tears because of it

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Why do I find comfort in my eating disorders?

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I just cried because a tiktoker I follow just posted a video saying you matter, I feel like this speaks volumes about me

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Tw sui tendencies

Why do I wanna kill myself over such small inconvenience's?

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Fucking hell, this is my fault, I'm the one who fell asleep, I was supposed to be looking for rides to therapy, and now I'm absolutely fucked and can't go, someone curb stomp me I beg of you

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My aunt Karen is coming over on Monday and she's the one who gets the house when Grandma dies, and we need to clean and get rid of a lot of stuff because she might not let us live in the house anymore if we don't and now i am fucking panicking because im terrified and my mind is screaming at me to start but at the same time i physically can't and i wanna have someone curb stomp me because of this

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Okay good news she's not coming over anymore, still have to clean but that takes a hell of a lot of stress off of it

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My aunt Karen is coming over on Monday and she's the one who gets the house when Grandma dies, and we need to clean and get rid of a lot of stuff because she might not let us live in the house anymore if we don't and now i am fucking panicking because im terrified and my mind is screaming at me to start but at the same time i physically can't and i wanna have someone curb stomp me because of this

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Tw sh refinances

Drawing cvts on myself cuz I made a promise

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I was supposed to cut that gummy into three pieces, I cut it into two………I'm gonna be on one hell of a ride tonight