The Ao3 curse

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The Ao3 curse
everyone rejoice, Ao3 is back
Squid Game season 2 and Squid Game season 3
Dare I say the amazing digital circus ep7 as both? Trust it was good it was amazing infact but omg it was badddd read: that shit broke my mind
Constantine makes a deal with the Spirit of Kronos.
In return for all contracts he has made regarding his soul being voided, and for Kronos himself to be John's Patron, he has to take a ghost core into himself and nurture it until it's independent.
Easy.
Infinite Realms beings are fiercely independent, and he estimates that one year of hosting and three months of looking after is nothing compared to the headache that he was going to have to go through to get those contracts voided.
The Spirit of Kronos assures him that this task will be on par, and that the payment for doing this is actually equal. He'll have to be sober, not a single drop of liquor or booze, not a single cigarette, for the entire duration.
Which. Okay, yeah, that sounds a little difficult.
So John accepts, expecting this to be kinda hard. But it's not.
The Core he houses is barely noticeable. Barely there. It takes a lot of magic, and eats a lot of ecto, and he's starting to realize that this core may have been severely damaged. This may be more than a year of hosting.
Then it starts to effect him.
He gets cravings, he's a little more emotional due to Realms Spirits being based on emotions, he sleeps more because of the little core leeching off of his magic reserves.
Other heroes start to notice.
He starts getting left out of missions, JLD and JL both checking in on him periodically. They don't know, but they know something is up.
Then he feels it one and a half years after accepting the deal; the tiny core is finally ready to come into the world. Soon, so soon, he'll be able to drink and smoke again, worry free.
The tiny ghost materializes in front of him - and John lunges forward to catch it before it falls to the floor.
Because that's not a ghost.
That's a human baby.
A green sticky note pops onto the kids forehead, and John realizes he may have just been bamboozled.
'His name is Daniel, and the deal stands until he is legally able to be independent per American Law. I look forward to our partnership.
CW'
Constantine was in a pickle. Granted, he was often in them. Some assholes had decided to start collecting his soul contracts. Once they did that, then they’d be able to collect.
Not good.
So he was off to make another deal. This one… it should be his last. Kronos was a right old bastard, indifferent and cruel due to him being the embodiment of Time itself. There were some rumors though that the mad Titan did have a few things he enjoyed. One of them being fucking others over and laughing at their predicament. The only thing Constantine could offer (that he wouldn’t regret) was being able to lord it over the others that HE held John Constantine’s soul, and no other did. Not until Death itself claimed him. That should take a long, long time with the Spirit of Time as his Patron.
Fuck.
Kronos HAD to know he was coming. He was probably laughing up in his Tower, watching the human struggle to reach him. Constantine grunted as he fell, gravel skittering around him. No, hold it in. He can’t curse at the being he’s about to go try and make a deal with. He continued the trek, feet catching at times on the slick black stone. As long as he didn’t fall off into the abyss below, he was fine.
He was totally fine.
WHO THE FUCK DECIDED TO PUT THE DOOR HALFWAY UP THE SIDE OF THE TOWER
ASSHATS, THAT’S WHO
When he finally reached the door, he collapsed outside it, his back against the door. Damn, he needed a drink and a smoke before he continued on this fucking scheme. John got as far as lighting the cigarette before it was taken away by a purple hand. John was pissed. He turned to rip them to shred, only to stop as he saw Kronos before him, an amused smile on the bastard’s face. That didn’t explain why the clock man had taken his cigarette.
“Now, now, no cigarettes. Or alcohol. In fact, you’ll need to be completely sober, if you want to make a deal with me.” Kronos took the lit cigarette with him back into the tower, phasing right through the door.
Figures the bastard already knew why he was here, and that he was sadistic enough to take away some of Constantine’s few pleasures in life. Well, that and sex. God, he could use a good fuck after all of this crap.
“You makin’ that one of the conditions of our deal?” John asked, getting up so he could follow the spirit into the tower.
“Indeed. I have a few. While I am aware that you are amenable to them all, I cannot just skip through this conversation, as dull as it is.” Creepy. Totally not ominous at all.
“In return for voiding your other contracts and becoming your Patron, you will need to nurture a ghost core inside yourself until it emerges, then raise the being until it is independent. Yes, there are others I could have asked. Of the available options, you are the best. Surprisingly.” John closed his mouth with a click. Damn time spirit, knowing what he was going to ask.
“During the time you are housing the core, you must not partake in alcohol, illicit drugs, and cigarettes. If you do, the deal is immediately broken. To… assist in your recovery process, I am willing to give you some minor time abilities to allow yourself to speed through the withdrawal.”
“That’s mighty kind of you,” John said slowly, halting at the top of the stairs. Kronos continued into the center room of the clocktower, the gears shifting and moving around them. “Doesn’t seem like this is on par to voiding my other contracts. This benefits me a lot more than it benefits you.”
“From your view, yes. Consider my previous words. I have looked into the future, looking for good candidates to house this core. As I have stated, you are the best option. Such a thing must be taken on willingly. Magic, after all, is about belief and intent. Though there is a contract, you will still be a willing host and that is necessary for this core to develop properly. I assure you. This bargain is more than fair. In the end, we will both get what we want. That is the hallmark of a good deal.”
Kronos told him softly, wistfully looking at the screen where a white haired boy in a black and white jumpsuit froze a giant plant being. In fact, most of the screens had images of the white haired boy. Whoever the kid was, John felt bad for them. To have the full attention of the embodiment of Time? The kid was fucking doomed. “‘Ight. Get it in writing for me to review before I sign. I want to see the terms, word for word!”
Ugh.
It was creepy to see such a powerful being smile at him like that. Sent shivers up his spine. John took his time reviewing the parchment he was given. Surprisingly, it was straight forward as hell and didn’t contain any extra loopholes and shit. Whoever was in that core was important.
He hoped he wasn’t unintentionally making a massive mistake.
It should only be what, a year and a half? About a year for the core to form and then a few months for the thing to grow big enough to fly off in to the Infinite Realms, hopefully to never be seen again by him.
After the signature, it was time for the core to be inserted into John.
Kronos had held the beautiful little diamond shaped core so delicately in his hands. Swirls of dark purple and black, interwoven with a vibrant blue and deathly green escaped from cracks and holes along the core. It was incredibly beautiful, and it was going inside him. Now… John had been inside people and had people inside him before.
Sexually.
This was… just as intimate, but different.
John had only briefly felt his own soul, and he usually only felt it when he was making a deal. He could tell though, that the core was nestled right next to it in his chest. He gasped and jerked slightly, sensitive and vulnerable as Kronos’s fingers brushed against John’s soul.
“I’m just adding some of my power to your soul. That will give you some power over time and allow you to call upon my strength, should you need it. Do call me Clockwork, from now on. I am your Patron. Kronos is only a name that those who do not know me elect to use. You are different now.” Those red eyes bored into him, Kronos’s - no, Clockwork’s words heavy and full of meaning. This was weird. And uncomfortable. Time to split!
“Right. Um. I’ve got a copy of the contract. I’m hosting the little ghostie. Time to go?” Clockwork made a portal, gesturing for him to go through it, eyes trained on him.
“Yes. Time to go. Remember, no cigarettes, no alcohol, and no drugs. I will be watching.”
John stepped through, wanting to get away from his new patron as quickly as possible. Ominous fucker. What luck, he’d been dropped off in that new fangled Watchtower. Eh, it was probably on purpose, knowing Kron - Clockwork. Time to go ruffle Bat’s feathers! Whistling to himself, he made his way to the monitor station.
hey hi it's me you've inspired me to cause our buddy johnny constantine way more problems
👻🦇👻
Three months, two weeks, and one day.
That’s 107 days.
One hundred and seven whole pissing days since John Constantine—the John Constantine—has had a cigarette. Has had a drink. Has had any source of caffeine other than the measly little cups of piss-weak green tea he has in the morning in an attempt to calm the overwhelming nausea he’s been feeling lately. Sure, his new patron said he’d negate the withdrawal aspects of quitting, but he’s still having to rush to the loo every five minutes after waking up until he’s fully emptied his stomach because apparently the gods hate him. Which, to be fair, is old news.
You’d think that, by now, he’d be used to it. You’d think that, by now, it would be easier. You’d think that, by fucking now, he’d be over the loss.
But, no. It’s been 107 days and he’s still reaching into his coat pocket for a packet of those delicious Silk Cuts—and when he remembers he can’t have one, he sighs and reaches into another pocket for his flask and then he realises that actually, no, he can’t have that either. Because of this stupid core in his stupid fucking body, he’s had to resort to refilling all of his flasks with holy water instead of that sweet, sweet nectar (except for that one he had enchanted so that even bottom shelf shit would taste like a Talisker the same age as him, he’s not that much of a masochist. That’s locked up securely in the House).
It wouldn’t be so bad, honestly, if he wasn’t surrounded by the world’s mightiest fucking idiots the whole time.
Take right now, for instance.
Please someone get this guy in maternity leave 😭
Becoming Batman
dcxdp fic idea
Danny is the reason Batman has his utility belt. Why he's prepared for 'anything. everything.'
you see, when they were kids, Danny's family took a trip. To study ectoplasm in other cities. They did this alot when Danny and Jazz were little, while they were waiting for funding for the portal to come through or for contractors to finish doing repair work on their home. On this occasion they were gone longer than usual for one reason or another.
Which gave young Danny and Jazz ample time to make friends. They were in Wayne Tower. Their parents in one meeting or another. Jazz found herself an out-of-the-way office in which she could start on the classwork she was missing. Danny found himself in the basement, where all the failed projects went to die. and started tinkering, fooling around.
Eventually a morose boy named Bruce joined him. Though he didn't say much beyond his name. and seemed to do his own work. Though he kept having to stop to get one thing or another, always illprepared for the task at hand when he sat down for the day.
When it was time for the Fentons to head back to Amity, little Danny Fenton handed the forlone Bruce a toolbelt. One filled with more pockets and items than it should realistically be able to fit. One that was promised to 'always have exactly what you need, when you need it"
Years later Danny would be watching the news in his college dorm and see a man in all black with a cape and an extremely familiar vibrant yellow belt, and smile to himself.
Does he really need the sigil though lol 😭 like
Bruce :damn I should get this fixed I know just the guy for the job
*pulls Danny out of his utility belt*
The sigil might be more polite but then again it is Batman so 🤷♀️
God my humors so ass but I crack myself up 😭I’m just imagining that one saiki k scene AND ITS DANNY SO ITD SO WORK I CANT GET THIS OUT MY HEAD LMFAO