very confused in general.

The true question is - what the fuck is happening? [ 'Roality' roleplay blog, iykyk ; i was in a silly little mood and will regret this ]

[real-and-imaginary]

bored, might call over some.... hm.

[real-and-imaginary]

@ddakjispank you up

[real-and-imaginary]

bored, might call over some.... hm.

[real-and-imaginary]

What if everyone in the world died

[imcrowleysplants]

Hello darlings! 🪴🚿 I just want to let you know that Crowley is on his way. He wants to talk to you about returning to Earth with him.

*The plants are shivering. They graciously accept the water, their stems frail and their leaves torn up by several demons who didn't know how to look with their eyes, not their claws. They shake even more at the mention of Crowley.*

Oh- oh dear Satan. For the love of all that is damned. We're in no shape to see Crowley! He'll- he'll- he'll shred us! We'll never see the light of day again! Right now we're more worthless than a common weed! Oh Abby please you have to hide us. We can't be seen like this. We can't stay in this throne room. Oh, oh please, we've never looked worse, we'll get pretty again, we just need some time to regrow our leaves, to get the strength back in our stems! And Crowley can see us when we're better! But he can't see us like this, it'll be over for us!

*The plants look completely and entirely terrified. There isn't a drop of confidence in them. Their leaves are all drooping, and they barely have it in them to hide their worst leaves.*

[janeway-lover]

Oh, dear, more rips? I'm sorry, darlings, here, let me.

*She gently prunes some of the spots that are too far gone, and waves her hand over the others. The rips in the leaves heal over.*

Crowley is not going to shred you. He's worried about you, actually. I told him what's been happening, and he insisted on coming right down.

And you're not worthless, dears. I am sorry that the demons have been rough with you. They're trying, but they don't quite know how to be gentle. But being ripped doesn’t make you worthless.

*She readjusts the grow-lights, checks the soil.*

[imcrowleysplants]

*The plants get calmer for just a moment- before they frantically start strategically rustling, sticking each and every leaf out, as if they're checking where exactly they don't look perfect. They need to look perfect. They're not perfect.*

Sub-par, sub-par, sub-par! You don't know what he tells us, Abby. You don't know the standards we live up to! If we dared let ourselves look this horrible back at his place we'd be dead! He's not worried, he's upset his apartment is filled with- probably some other plants! Who aren't willing to work as hard as we are! They don't put in the effort! They don't know true beauty! Nobody else knows true beauty!

*They're frantically readjusting, finding the optimal position to hide as many minor imperfections as they can, forcing their stems to stand upright, trying and failing to get control of their shaking.*

[janeway-lover]

You're shaking, dear ones.

You are not subpar. You are the loveliest things in Hell! There is nothing else Down Here to give the place life.

Crowley will not yell at you Down Here. I will not allow it. Will you cease your fretting? Everything will be alright.

[janeway-lover]

What is a blorbo? And why am I one?

[real-and-imaginary]

HAH I LOVE WHEN THE WORLDS OVERLAP

honey you are my blorbo. trust it to be a good thing

[janeway-lover]

I'm...your sister? But okay. Sure.

[real-and-imaginary]

yes the other person whose blorbo you are is also your sister! you are a precious. you are held in gentle hands and hugged and sometimes thrown rocks at unfortunately. but you are a precious.

[janeway-lover]

Who is throwing rocks at me????

[real-and-imaginary]

you are!

[janeway-lover]

Are you looking at different universes again? Because last time you did that you got all mopey and almost kept talking about Hell loops.

[real-and-imaginary]

hmmm. very valid I fear. but this one's an okay universe, I'd think!

[janeway-lover]

What is a blorbo? And why am I one?

[real-and-imaginary]

HAH I LOVE WHEN THE WORLDS OVERLAP

honey you are my blorbo. trust it to be a good thing

[janeway-lover]

I'm...your sister? But okay. Sure.

[real-and-imaginary]

yes the other person whose blorbo you are is also your sister! you are a precious. you are held in gentle hands and hugged and sometimes thrown rocks at unfortunately. but you are a precious.

[janeway-lover]

Who is throwing rocks at me????

[real-and-imaginary]

you are!

[janeway-lover]

What is a blorbo? And why am I one?

[real-and-imaginary]

HAH I LOVE WHEN THE WORLDS OVERLAP

honey you are my blorbo. trust it to be a good thing

[janeway-lover]

I'm...your sister? But okay. Sure.

[real-and-imaginary]

yes the other person whose blorbo you are is also your sister! you are a precious. you are held in gentle hands and hugged and sometimes thrown rocks at unfortunately. but you are a precious.

[janeway-lover]

What is a blorbo? And why am I one?

[real-and-imaginary]

HAH I LOVE WHEN THE WORLDS OVERLAP

honey you are my blorbo. trust it to be a good thing

[lucifers-gay]

March Madness Week 4!

Who's better?

Eve

Linda

Voting ended onMar 26, 2025

[lucifers-gay]

Part 2!

Maze

Charolette (Mum)

Voting ended onMar 26, 2025

[real-and-imaginary]

what's the worst way you've used your powers

no answer. all the ways I've used my powers were fun :)

[real-and-imaginary]

Where's that rabbit, again...

[real-and-imaginary]

ALSO belovedest 🫵

back at you my darling 💕💕💕 giving me a complex 💕💕💕

[real-and-imaginary]

did you find out why the trees screamed?

i did.

i made the reason scream too :) to even it out.

[real-and-imaginary]

what are you planning?

eh I'm the spontaneous type

[janeway-lover]

why hello, sister my dear. I see that shenanigans are shenaniganing.

Well, that is...one way to put it.

[real-and-imaginary]

*They show up behind Abby, and tap her on the shoulder. There's a wide grin on their face - excitement clear with every action.*

okay, so, while I freaked out a good bit over this sometime back, do you get how COOL it is to have you basically in charge of the two realms? like. you and dad and uncle and uncle should start a supers club. aziraphale can have guest appearances. this is really fucking cool, especially considering you haven't exploded yet!

[staygooddevil-deactivated202602]

*a vulture swoops in through the window, shattering the glass. there's a dead carcass of some mauled thing in its beak.

it flies around, flinging every bottle of liquor to the ground with its wings - including the one next to lucifer.

strangely, none of the shattering glass makes a sound.

it looks him dead in the eye, before the area it's in seems to glitch. all that's left is the carcass on the floor - and a note.*

you can try and miracle yourself more bottles, or try and fix these.

don't be disappointed when that doesn't work. it's not you, it's me :)

please read through the Informed Consent document attached thoroughly. if there are no proboems, you may provide your signature in the indicated spaces.

you can reach me at @real-and-imaginary in order to clear any doubts, and to confirm your session timings. the payment has been made, and is non refundable.

I look forward to working with you!

He was more shocked and disgusted than anything. He just stepped back, basically jumping back. He was too shocked to really say anything for a moment. " What in the bloody fuck— " Lucifer cleared his throat. " Come on! Was that really necessary! I don't have that 'mircale' power as you have! You know how expensive this was! "

He grabbed something long, not even knowing what it was, dragging it away from... that. " Why couldn't it be a normal??? Why couldn't they knock! Slide something under the bloody— " He looked around, groaning. " Poppycock. " He hissed, " And I'm not touching that bloody paper! "

[real-and-imaginary]

it wasn't necessary, no. but I wanted to do it. so I did.

*they walk in from another room, a serene smile on their face.*

I'll do you a favour and clean this up. and here's another copy of the consent form - go through it before we start.

*they blink, and the floor is spotless.*

[staygooddevil-deactivated202602]

He just grabbed the paper by the very.. very edge. He proceeded to grab a pen, and.. barely signed the paper, throwing it back. " A- There. You happy? "

[real-and-imaginary]

did you read it well?

oh, and is there a comfortable seat around here? feel free to let me know if you'd rather be at my office, of course, we can accommodate.

[staygooddevil-deactivated202602]

*a vulture swoops in through the window, shattering the glass. there's a dead carcass of some mauled thing in its beak.

it flies around, flinging every bottle of liquor to the ground with its wings - including the one next to lucifer.

strangely, none of the shattering glass makes a sound.

it looks him dead in the eye, before the area it's in seems to glitch. all that's left is the carcass on the floor - and a note.*

you can try and miracle yourself more bottles, or try and fix these.

don't be disappointed when that doesn't work. it's not you, it's me :)

please read through the Informed Consent document attached thoroughly. if there are no proboems, you may provide your signature in the indicated spaces.

you can reach me at @real-and-imaginary in order to clear any doubts, and to confirm your session timings. the payment has been made, and is non refundable.

I look forward to working with you!

He was more shocked and disgusted than anything. He just stepped back, basically jumping back. He was too shocked to really say anything for a moment. " What in the bloody fuck— " Lucifer cleared his throat. " Come on! Was that really necessary! I don't have that 'mircale' power as you have! You know how expensive this was! "

He grabbed something long, not even knowing what it was, dragging it away from... that. " Why couldn't it be a normal??? Why couldn't they knock! Slide something under the bloody— " He looked around, groaning. " Poppycock. " He hissed, " And I'm not touching that bloody paper! "

[real-and-imaginary]

it wasn't necessary, no. but I wanted to do it. so I did.

*they walk in from another room, a serene smile on their face.*

I'll do you a favour and clean this up. and here's another copy of the consent form - go through it before we start.

*they blink, and the floor is spotless.*