Real Eating Disorder Recovery

Pro-recovery and body positive. I am here to help spread information about what REAL recovery looks like-- facing your fears, letting go of control over food, and accepting yourself. This blog is a safe place. Anti-thinspo, anti-bodyshame, anti-anything-that-makes-you-feel-like-crap. Please feel free to message me if you have questions about EDs or recovery and want an opinion, or if you just need someone to talk to. I track the tags "real ed recovery" and "missiontoremission"

[recoveryisbeautiful]

You don't have to hit rock bottom to decide to make a change in your life. Do it now.

[findingmyrecovery]

[real-ed-recovery]

I want to go into recovery really badly, I want to eat healthy, get to a healthy weight and learn to love myself like that. I went to the doctor's and he referred me through and stuff, but they are not responding(i was told it'd take a week or two). It has been over two months since the first letter was sent and things have gotten a lot worse. I do not think I can get better on my own, but I am living a nightmare and I've almost lost hope I'll ever get treatment. What do I do? Where do I start?

Is there any way you could contact them again and get an update? They should really be more concerned about their health, and if you let your doctor know how bad things are getting he might even refer you to a hospital. If not that, then at least try contacting a therapist if you don't already have one. You need a support system, and you've identified that need, it's just a matter of building one. It's hard to know where to start. But the biggest issue right now is making sure you're safe. Do not hesitate to check yourself into a hospital if you aren't able to take care of yourself. It's scary, but it's necessary and your life is worth it. I care and I'm here for you!

[heymonster]

[unapologetically-human]

Breathe. You’re going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived. Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.

Daniell Koepke    (via lousylovers)

[zoe-rivass-deactivated20170104]

You’re going to be sad. You’re going to want to scream and punch things. Do it. Let out every ounce of anger you have. Sit on the floor and cry until you feel numb. Listen to songs that make your heart sink to your feet. Write angry letters to all the people who have broken you, left you, ignored you or hurt you. Throw your hairbrush at the wall. Do it twelve times. Do it until you feel like you can breathe again. You’re going to be sad. You’re going to want to hurt yourself. Don’t you dare do it. Sit on the floor and watch cartoons like you did when you were little. Listen to songs that make you want to dance around your bedroom in your underwear at 3 A.M. Make paper airplanes out of those angry letters and watch them soar into the fireplace. Brush all the knots out of your hair and say “I am worth it” into the mirror. Say it twelve times. Say it until you feel like you can breathe again. You’re going to be sad. You’re going to get through it.

things i wish i could make you understand (via winterkristall)

[khooleesi]

THIS.

If you ever see a bad picture of yourself just think about sunsets

Have you ever tried to take a picture of a sunset with a crappy camera? It turns out like shit.  I mean that could be the most beautiful sunset you’ve ever seen in your life and the photo looks gross. 

That doesn’t mean the sunset  isn’t breathtaking, it just means the camera can’t contain it’s beauty.

You are a gorgeous motherfucking sunset never forget that

[redsrecovered-deactivated201505]

[stophatingyourbody]

BE BRAVE! JOIN THE BODY PEACE REVOLUTION! 

[nascently-deactivated20181104]

[toldmysoultosing]

recovery everywhere.

[real-ed-recovery]

That's essentially what I was trying to get across, but the loss of control usually indicates that they need to eat more. For example, if they're unconsciously restricting throughout the rest of the day, it would explain why they eat the most the next morning. I used to be the opposite, I wouldn't eat much until the evening, and then it would turn into uncontrollable eating. If I had eaten the same amount, but spread out throughout the day, I'd feel much better and probably have more energy. And you're right, 1000 calories isn't a lot at all, I should have emphasized that more.

[real-ed-recovery]

It all started when someone called me fat, it's been a year now and I'm just obsessed over my weight. I weigh multiple times a day and when I feel it's too heavy for my ideal weight, I will end up binging on all the high-calorie food and end up really guilty and remorseful. I just want to get out of this binging problem that I have but every time I make that decision, I will end up going back to my binging again. Help. What should i do? :,(

Do you restrict throughout the day and then end up binging, or do you binge without any restriction involved? And after binging, do you purge? I can definitely give advice but it depends on the situation. Either way, please please please get help and talk to somebody before things escalate. It's better to get help now than to wait until you're hospitalized or something terrible happens. Get back to me ASAP and I'll try my best to help!

[real-ed-recovery]

My mom doesnt know about my eating disorder (i need to gain weight healthily), and she keeps saying that I am getting fat and that my jeans are too tight, and I need to "watch my calorie intake". I am under weight and I feel tired all the time. My new years resolution is to get healthier, but could you give me some advice on dealing with friends and family?

With ED recovery there is no healthy or unhealthy way to gain weight, you just need to follow your appetite until you maintain a weight and your appetite is normal. Making a resolution to get healthier might make you slip back into old habits, as people with EDs often think health=thinness. Focus on recovery, and health will come! Along with energy, positive self-image, and a vibrant life. As for dealing with family, we can't change the people around us but we can change how we feel about them. Take your mother's comments with a grain of salt, she doesn't understand what you're going through. And definitely try talking to her about how it makes you feel if you haven't already. If that doesn't work, try building a support system of friends, a therapist, etc that understand you and want to help you, and talk to them when you feel triggered by your mother's comments. You can get through this, love. I promise!

[real-ed-recovery]

I've started trying to recover and have upped my intake to the amount I are pre-ED, but I've noticed that now I sometimes find it hard to stop eating and it scares me. I've sort of slipped back into ED habits like measuring and chewing a lot, and I think I may be subconsciously restricting? I'm not sure since I'm not counting but it feels like it. I just don't know how to eat normally, it seems. What should I be doing? Thanks

It's totally normal to feel out of control when you're eating during recovery- it's basically your biological side taking over and trying to help you get back to an optimal weight, and trying to nourish you. Eat as much as you want, and eventually your appetite normalizes. Youreatopia.com explains this concept really well, and it definitely helped me recover!As for the subconscious restricting and slipping back into old habits, that's totally normal too! It's the only coping mechanism you know, and you're under a lot of stress and anxiety right now. Therapy and a good support system can really help you find better coping mechanisms, but in the mean time try finding a hobby that helps calm you down, like art, reading, writing, anything you're interested in. Good luck, love. Im here for you!

[real-ed-recovery]

I basically ate a whole tube of Yogood peanut butter today along with all my other food. I've had almost 4000 calories and I'm worried that all the saturated fat will not let me recover in a healthy way. I've gone from 32kg to 34kg in 6 days is this too fast? I'm only 1.57m so am I going too fast? I'm really worried because I'm doing no exercise and I'm scared I'm going to cause permanent damage please help :( I've been binging on unhealthy things every night :( xx

Contrary to popular belief, there is no weight gain that is too fast in recovery. Most of that weight at this point is water, you're doing great by following your appetite!In recovery, when you begin to eat freely, you may feel like you're eating too much or binging, but it's because you're at a huge energy deficit and you actually need the extra food. What would be unhealthy for a non-ED person is actually healing for you. I used to eat spoonfuls of peanut butter uncontrollably and binge on things like cereal when I was in recovery, but I kept following my appetite until it evened out. I no longer binge, my appetite is fairly normal and I maintain my weight. I know it sounds scary but what you're going through is very typical of ED patients. You're doing great, please message me if you have any questions or need help!

[real-ed-recovery]

you are so amazing and beautiful and so kind and you are honestly my favorite person on here. your personality makes me smile and you are so beautiful, I love everything about you

This gave me the biggest smile, you are so sweet and messages like this make my day! I hope you're doing well :)

[real-ed-recovery]

Hi I started recovery 4 months ago and am now at a healthy weight. However I'm still having trouble maintaining and with my meals. See I eat a bunch at breakfast(like 1000) calories and a small lunch and dinner. I really need to spread it out but I kinda lose control a breakfast and keep eating and eating then when lunch and dinner come I can't eat a lot because ill go over and I don't want to get over weight just maintain. Any suggestions on how to space my meals out more?

The fact that you binge (losing control over food intake) in the morning is a good indicator that you still aren't eating enough calories throughout the day. Try eating bigger lunches and dinners, or add small snacks throughout the day, and eat before going to bed to decrease your appetite in the morning. Let me know if that works out!Ideally, your intake will end up more spread out, but don't fret if you still find yourself eating a lot in the morning and not as much at night, some people just need more energy in the morning. It's not a problem until it turns into binging.

[real-ed-recovery]

I really need help. I want to get better and start eating normally so bad but I'm always afraid of the weight gain I'll get if I do. I don't know how to fix this :(

Weight gain is an inevitable part of eating disorder recovery, even if you aren't underweight, because of how the metabolism has been compromised. Fortunately, everyone has an optimal weight according to genetics and their activity level, so if you recover by eating a minimum of 3000 calories a day (or 2500 if you're over 24 years old), your weight gain will even out and settle. You'll most likely return to your pre-ED weight, assuming you used to have normal eating habits. And trust me, I know it's anxiety provoking, but for any kind of fear, exposure is the best therapy. I promise, promise, promise that it gets easier to deal with. Please message me if you need any encouragement!