Among Strangers

  “We're almost there and nowhere near it. All that matters is were going"

[realhazelnut]

#23 “An Open letter to My 24-Year-Old Self”

The other day someone asked me, “If you could give yourself some advice on your 24th birthday, what would that be?”

Dear Myself,

You've gained a lot of little accomplishments in your teenage years, small victories that are worth celebrating. You’ve earned your Bachelor’s Degree in Tourism Management, you’ve competed to almost 15 different schools and gained a Bronze medal, you established a business with your close friends, you’ve tried performing in front of the crowd, you dare to try your desire of competing in ramp modeling, you’ve been awarded as a model student, you’re working hard to support your family and you have a few real friends who are always there for you no matter what. You’ve been doing awesome and I’m so proud of you! You have nothing to worry about because everything has its own pace.

I’m writing you because you are now in the throes of your teenage and growing up years, and I would like to share with you some advice that would hopefully help you get through anything that's blocking your way of attaining success and believing in your self.

1. You are #Beautiful

Sometimes you don't have to listen to other people's judgments. Don't bother wasting your time dealing with their insecurities and never-ending issues. You are beautifully made. Imperfections don’t define you, you are more than beautiful.

2. Be #Brave

Don't let fear hinder you from making the right decision. There will always be disappointments and heartaches from friends, family, acquaintances, workmates and yourself, but this will strengthen you towards the journey of life. Never be afraid to try new things, explore different places and meet new faces that will soon be part of who you are today. Be Brave and dare to try!

3. Your life will be full of #challenges – emotional, intellectual, spiritual, financial, physical

You are the author of your own story write an inspiring one. You will learn this in a tough way but this will make you become a better person, a strong independent woman, a diligent daughter, an awesome sister, and a loving friend. Believe in yourself and you’ll get through it all!

4. Learn to #Love and Be Loved

Open up your heart to any possibilities of finding love. Your heart may be guarded with high walls but time will come that there will be someone that will patiently wait until you let your walls down. Surround yourself with people who will support you and they will all be instrumental to your growth. Continue having that heart of gold sharing blessings to the Aeta community, home for the aged, orphanages, cancer warriors and supporting different charity work.

5. Ignite your #Passion

Follow your heart and do the things you loved. You already discovered a lot of things that you’re capable of. Keep on seeking more of what you can do and greatly do it with all your heart.

6. Be #Humble and Grounded

The best lesson you’ve learned from your parents is to stand between the past and present. A glimpse of the past that will bring us back to our history, traditions, and values so that we won’t deceive ourselves into believing we are more than who we are. Looking forward to the present which will take us to our desired path. Everyone is entitled to their own views and opinions, respect them.

7. Be a Life #Learner

Explore new boundaries countless times even if it means traveling alone. There is more to learn in life than what you’ve read in books. Meditate. Discern. Experience. Learn to quiet yourself amidst the chaos and take all the learnings that you’ve had as a stepping stone towards your ambition. Surprise them!

8. Keep the #Faith

Don’t extinguish the fire of the Holy Spirit that works in us. There’s nothing greater than the power of prayer. Always pray and trust in what He can do and be proud to be a member of the Church of Christ. As they say, Ikinararangal ko na ako’y Iglesia ni Cristo.

Remember, every time that you feel exhausted and life is stressing you out, read this once, read this twice, and over and over again until you feel motivated. I just want to say that you are an awesome and unique woman! Keep that wonderful heart that aims to share and spread love.

Happy 24th Birthday and have a good one!

All the love, Myself

[realhazelnut]

#22 “Always the Second Best”

Some people are torn between two options, whether to go right or left. Black or White. Yes or No. They seem to be hesitant of the things that they really want the reason that they provide choices for their convenience. For them to see which is BETTER or Who is better!

Most of us has always been a victim of being an option, being one of the choices. Always come up with an A or B, X or Y, 1 or 2. Always been the second best, never been choose. And with all of these, I wonder how can we even be the first choice wherein even if we tried to give our all, we’ve been stuck at the second place. These instance can lower confidence and self-esteem which can even lead to depression for some. We all know that losing is part of every game but we should all remember that in every game everyone aims winning! 

Ever been in a place wherein your professor choose your classmate over you to be the class president knowing that you have the capabilities to perform such? with relates to job, have you ever been an option over new trainees for promotion even if you have stayed more than a year with them? Have you ever been the second best for one person you admire?

If yes, let me remind you sweetheart that not all things are worth fighting for, some are worth surrendering cause it will lead you to better opportunities that will build you as a person that you always aim to be. You don't have to compete with anyone be the best version of yourself, open up to new possibilities and change for the better. Don't let negativity stood in your doorway waiting for you to make a move. Breathe in and make your way towards being the first choice! Think of it like this, some things or some people are not meant to be in your life because there's someone better along the way, it happens for a reason that you might not be able to meet him/her if you push yourself to the person you admire today. 

Take away for everyone: The waiting season just started, you just have to wait for the right timing when everything works out in favor of what you wanted wherein you will be the the first choice among anyone. Just show off what you've got. You're not alone, been there done that! Surprise them!

[realhazelnut]

#21 “Being in 20′s”

What’s the very first thing you do right after you graduated? Do you take a rest for a few months before looking for a job? Did you travel? Did you use your free time on things you really wanted to try back then? Or did you already conquer job fairs and apply the job you really wanted to be part with?

Right after graduation,  the very first thing that comes to the mind of every graduates is that, they are already free from the sleepless nights, lots of paper works, deliberations and most importantly waking up early everyday just to the attend the class on time. They also thought that they’re finally free from meeting deadlines for projects, any other school requirements. They even thought that they can easily find the right job for them just because they’re handling a diploma as a proof that they attain a bachelor’s degree in college in which they think it is the only ticket to conquer the world outside the university.

Well, come to think of it sweetheart because the world outside is not like what you think of what it is. It’s not less stressful as you thought it was. You will need to compete and stood out among thousands of graduates all over the country just to fill the position you wanted. You should be prepared for that battle in which you can’t only fight with just one armor. Your diploma can’t stand the fight alone. You need to know how to carry out yourself; you need to know your strengths and weaknesses or even your skills and capabilities that can be an advantage you can use to anyone.

Stepping outside in your 20’s is a bit confusing you didn’t know what field you should pursue if it’s still related to the track you took or if it was just because you need to provide an income for yourself or your family just to say that you’re already employed. Imagine way back in elementary your teacher usually ask you this question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” And a lot of answers came out, some says they wanted to be a teacher, while some are doctors; some are engineers, pilots, nurse and so on. Did you recall your answer way back? I’m pretty sure you do. And that answer builds you up as a person you are today and the reason why you wanted to be someone is because you believe you can! You just have to be armed with enough knowledge and set of skills to defend yourself and won that dream you really desired.

Being in your 20’s is the stage of life where you are identifying the goal you really wanted. Say for example one of my friend took Engineering course but end up being a great wedding photographer, thinking he’s not in the right track of what he took in college but he’s on the track of what he loved doing, considering his passion for photography. In this stage you will experience a lot even right before you reach your very first goal. You will experience a lot of hardships and sleepless nights compared to being a student, you will experienced a lot of paper works on your office that is rush and needed to be finished on its deadline. All of those you experienced when you’re studying are nothing compared to what you’re going to experience in you 20’s right before you reach the top.

But there’s something I need to share to everyone in their 20’s.You should not let life passed you by. Enjoy little things as you discover more of yourself and what you can do. Explore, hang-out with your friends, take time to read a good book and listen to a good taste of music even the adulting stage is fast approaching. Don’t be afraid of what’s ahead of you because everything that you will learn all throughout your journey will hone you as a better individual. DON’T BE AFRAID TO TRY SOMETHING NEW EVERYDAY, because at the end of the day you will just look back on times you wished you must have experienced something you never try before.

Being in 20’s is fun yet challenging. Relax and enjoy the ride.                                 

[realhazelnut]

#20 “Tagpuan”(Spoken Poetry)

Pasok Moira..

At nakita kita sa tagpuan ni bathala May kinang sa mata na di maintindihan Tumingin kung saan sinubukan kong lumisan At tumigil ang mundo Nung ako'y ituro mo Siya ang panalangin ko   -Tagpuan

      Heto na naman ako, naghihintay at pinipilit na aliwin ang sarili sa dami ng sunod-sunod na mga sasakyan na dumadaan sa aking harapan. Isang panibagong araw kung saan makikipagsiksikan na naman ako sa pagsakay para makarating sa aking pupuntahan. Punuan. Masikip. Mainit pero kung hindi ako gagawa ng paraan hindi ako makakarating sa kung saan. Sa kung saan madalas kitang matagpuan, sa kung saan madalas tayo nagkakatinginan tapos mag-ngingitian tapos kasunod na nun ang kwentuhan na para bang nag-iipon tayo ng kwento para may mapag-usapan lang kinabukasan, sa kung saan pag kasama lang kita dun ko lang nararamdaman yung kasiyahan na matagal tagal ko na din na hindi nararanasan. At nung sinabi mo sa akin na “Alam mo ba kahit kailan hindi ko ‘to malilimutan” hindi ako makakilos sa aking kinatatayuan at tila ba kailangan kong umiwas sa falling star na babagsak sa kalupaan na kailangan kong iwasan para aking sariling kaligtasan. Hindi ko alam ang kasagutan sa mga salitang binitiwan mo kaya ang nasabi ko na lang “Ako rin naman”. At napuno ng katahimikan ang kalsadang puno ng kaguluhan, mga konduktor na nagsisigawan, mga estudyanteng naghahabulan at yung iba pang may mga katawagan. Hindi ko alam kung nakikisabay sa atin ang kalangitaan hindi ko din alam kung tayong dalawa ang pinagtitripan at biglang bumuhos ang ulan. Isa.. Dalawa.. Tatlo.. hinila mo ako papalapit sayo.. papalapit .. papalapit.. at tuluyang nahulog na ako...

[realhazelnut]

#19 “The Stars or The Vast sky?”

“If you were to choose which one would you prefer? The Stars or the Vast sky?"

    I hold your hand while wiping my tears

    Now this is the moment to face my fears

    You looked at me and say “Hey Please don’t cry”

    Maybe we should not give this a try

    From then on I already knew

    That my heart just wasn’t for you

    It hurts when you’re the only one who fall

   And you’re wishing it was him in every call

   Hey, remember when you look me in the eye?

   I know it wasn’t a lie..

   You felt that spark too

   And told me “I felt different when I look at you”

   Your smile, your tan skin, your laugh

   Every conversation which I don’t wanna stop

   But it seems that still I wasn’t enough

   And we needed a gap

   I was out of your league

  Which leaves my heart confused and intrigue

  But then on, I don’t regret anything

  Though I risk my heart for something 

  You choose to collect the stars

  The stars and the jar of your caramel bars

  Well thank you for Ignoring something that you can’t see

  For ignoring the Vast Sky, and it’s me.

[realhazelnut]

#18 “Be You”

[realhazelnut]

# 17 “Hi Future partner”

           Hey Love? it’s been a while? Where have you been? How are you?  I’ve been staying here for a quiet long time waiting for you. As of now I don’t even know your name, I don’t even know where you are born,or even your date of birth, I don’t even know if we follow each other on instagram or friends in facebook. I don’t have any single idea of what you look like. All I know as of now is that we are both busy in both different worlds, busy in improving each lives, preparing one’s selves and making our heart stronger and just so you know I’ve been waiting for that time when we finally meet,when everything falls apart.I have a lot of stories to tell you when you weren’t with me yet, those days I was wondering what have you’ve been doing at that exact time when I was at home reading a bunch of books or either painting a lot of canvas. Have you ever wonder? Do you ever feel the same way? I don’t know if you’re in a relationship as of now or you’ve been trying to move on or either just enjoying you’re life just like me.

           Anyways, Don’t you worry about me because i’m just right here waiting for the right time and for destiny to work well with both of us. And if we ever meet let’s travel and have a long drives away from the city :) Game? Sagada? Palawan? Ilocos? Cebu? and try surfing in Siargao? Or maybe we should try a plane to Italy? Korea? Singapore? Hongkong? Japan?. How about tryin a new restau in the city or Cafe maybe? My life wasn’t boring as it seems to be, I just really wanted to shared this new things to you knowing that I’m not going to do this by myself too :) . Given a chance let’s hang out and jam and sings our favorite songs even if the rain would start to pour don’t mind it were just enjoying the moment. Let’s create a tons of memories, tons of pictures we can look back with. And if we ever just got tired of everything hold my hand and we can surpass anything.

        Hey Love? Hey Future Partner?  I love you from now already, I loved everything about you, I love you even if i don’t know you yet but one thing is for sure I will love you from the very first time I met you. Because that’s love. And Love is powerful.

[realhazelnut]

#04 The Search

             More than seven billion people in the world. Seven continents. One hundred ninety-six countries. Different Cultures. Different languages. Different time-zones. Different beliefs. But how can we find ourselves in the middle of this world full of different people? How can we find the right trail for us to track? How can we find the right person for us to be with? It may took a long search for us to find out. But as days passed we must focus on finding ourselves, our strengths, our weaknesses and those things new to us that we should’ve given a chance to try and experience. Learn to Bike. Ride a Roller-coaster. Paint. Draw what you feel. Sing your favorite songs. Dance as you can. Write Blogs. Learn to play guitar or violin maybe. Do the crafts. Sew. Play your sport. Swim. Do your make-up. Design your room. Climb mountains. Travel. Join fashion shows. Conquer your fears. Discover what you can do and greatly do it with love. And sooner maybe in the middle of somewhere while finding yourself you’ll find someone with the same interests as you that can help you find your self even more. Set aside your fears. Try something new. Create it with passion and you’ll bring to light the things you doubt that you can do. This world may not be favorable with what you want but remember there are lots of people still finding their own selves. We never know what might happen. Maybe one of them are destined to find you accept you as you are, accept your flaws, love every detail of you inspite of your differences and you will suddenly find the both of you amidst this world of crowded people. We never know when and how destiny works, but it’s quiet obvious that it comes when we least expect it. You just have to find the one who is worthy enough of saying that “The Search is Over”.

(Written By: Hazel Anne H.)

[realhazelnut]

#16 “Quit or Start Again?”

          Has there ever come a time when you are about to give up unto something? When you feel like the world is contradicting your moves? When it all seems so impossible for you to reach? When you are torn between continuing until you can or giving up and start again?           This days I have been up thinking about a lot of things. Thinking about all the probable things that i might have think better, things that might have end up with much better decision with no regrets that will took place. Being a career focus millennial getting out of the university handling a degree is really a roller coaster ride from tons of interviews that will burst and squeeze your sweat, falling in lines, handling your papers and still making yourself presentable amidst everything. And it such a relief to be accepted in a job somehow which is not even related to your track knowing that you will earn money, make new friends, learn new things, but setting them aside you weren’t happy and comfortable to the job and environment you’ve been. In most cases people tend to fit in somehow because there’s no other choice left than to stay and conquer everything. As everyone says there’s no easy job, yes that’s true but a job would be much easier if you’re happy with what you’be been doing if you’re into it and you have the heart into anything. At first you might think that you might have worked really hard and put your efforts in the interview just to get into that place, and somewhere along the lines you’re giving up not because you don’t want what you’ve been doing, you’re not just happy with it. Then suddenly you might think that many people aim the spot that you’ve been they’ve been dealing with what you’ve experienced falling in lines, tons of interviews, sweat falling, crumpled papers and above it all they just got rejected.

Well come to think of it maybe there’s a reason why you’ve been hired in that job, why you have been doing well even if its not that track that you wanted, even if you still feel hesitant and you just get that job because you just really need an income to provide for yourself. Even if you just a risk without any single idea.

I guess we just really need to give it more time. More time for us to finished what we started, more time for us to focus on what we really wanted, more time to think , more time to just appreciate what we have now. And giving up is just as easy as blowing a candle on a birthday cake but starting over again is whole journey to track. A fresh new start.

(Written by: Hazel Anne H. )

[realhazelnut]

# 15 “Lines and strokes”

     2am thoughts. Staring at the painting I made hanging on one corner of our room. Horizontal lines. Vertical. Skew. Parallel. Perpendicular. Different lines with different strokes but all together on the same portion of canvas. The canvas which I bought blank, white and nothing on it,you can’t trace anything. Plain. Boring. I remember how I paint it black with every stroke of my paint brush up and down. How I conceal it’s white portion and totally covered it all. And right after that I started making lines with no specific direction just going with the flow where my paint brush would lead.And come to think of it, I end up with a canvas that has been a lot different than the canvas I bought. It turns out something you can’t imagine it would be. And that’s the time I realize that the canvas can be reflected as people at first they never tend to know their selves just one boring and plain canvass. But as time goes by these canvas have been through a lot, which marks their experiences on their own portion. Representing the success, failure, emotions and memories made that build up every person as they were today. Some people tend to judge another person just because of their looks but little did they know what circumstances that person have been through. Much stronger and tougher as you think they were. We should always have the other side of the story. Some are just like abstract paintings you may not easily understand them but sooner when you taken a chance to get to know them you will be surprised that they are more than just an abstract painting hanging on a wall. We are all just like a canvas with different interpretations and presentations some may not appreciate us, some may be amazed of who we are and what we’ve got, some would left their standing and staring at us tryin’ to know us better and some are those who really have taken the chance to appreciate us, with each every stroke of paint on our canvas even if it’s a bit messy or perfection was indeed represented a value of understanding and appreciation is a lot more better than seeking for the imperfection of the canvas itself because each one of us is created equal with just a different lines and strokes.

(Written by: Hazel Anne H.)

[realhazelnut]

#14

I have so many things running in my head right now. Plans, goals. I don't even know where to start.

[realhazelnut]

#13 “Waiting in Vain”

          I used to admire those happy people in serious and long term relationships, the ones with surprises, flowers, sweet messages and everything that may be cliche.The ones that I saw on movies turns out real, everything that felt like fairy-tales with happy ever-after. I’m not envious with those people around me exchanging words of “I love yous’ ”, reading love letters with that sudden smile while holding their phone. Well I used to be a way to strengthen the relationships of some. But sometimes you just wanna ask yourself and start questioning “ Am I not worthy?  Am I not deserving to be loved? Why people don’t even notice me? Is there someone else out there waiting for me? Did I still exist?. Well sweetheart, if you have ever asked this kind of questions, I feel you. We all feel down sometimes like people are ahead of us and we are left behind, But no as long as we are standing on our feet some may be ahead of us and maybe we are ahead of someone. Love is all around us we just need to take time to notice those love, Love from your Family, love of friends, love of those who believe in you and in what you can do. You are more than worthy! You deserve to be loved! It just takes time because love wouldn’t be there in a bad timing. You should prepare yourself so that when love comes you can give the love you save for someone who is so much worthy to have you. There’s no need to rush, learn to enjoy you’re life. There’s nothing wrong in being a hopeless romantic. Sooner or later you’d be one of the star in your very own love story. Someone’s hands clutched in yours. Laughing. Spending time together. Wishing on the stars. Making plans. Telling you that “You’re more than beautiful as you are”. You may have been waiting for too long but it would come a time when You’re taking the chance, You’re the shining star sweetheart; there’s no letting go. And it would always be worth the wait!

(Written By: Hazel Anne H. )

[realhazelnut]

#12 “Be Happy”

Let go of everything that’s been holding you back.

Let go of all the pain and suffering.

Forget about everything.

Have a peace of mind.

Choose to Love.

Choose positivity.

Choose to be Happy.

Don’t mind those people who don’t believe in you.

Show them what you can totally do.

Choose to live your life as you wanted.

Wear what you want.

Travel anywhere.

LIVE!

It’s your life! Not for anyone.

Now its time for you to came out of your box.

Break Free.

(Written By: Hazel Anne H.)

[realhazelnut]

#11 Dive.

DIVE.

Dive the deepest sea.

Until you’ll know how far you’ll be.

Until you let go of all the sorrow.

And forget about what goes along tomorrow.

DIVE.

Dive until you’re free.

Until you find the key.

The key to release all the pain.

The pain that with much thunder and rain.

DIVE.

Dive until you can.

Until you can escape from your own den.

Until you lose all your oxygen.

Dive! Dive! Dive until you lose count of one to ten.

(Written By: Hazel Anne H.)

[realhazelnut]

#10 “IKAW, AKO, SIYA”

IKAW.

Ikaw ang nagpadama sakin ng totoong kasiyahan.

Yung kasiyahan na dala ko hanggang sa pag-uwi.

Yung dala ko hanggang sa pagtulog.

Yung kasiyahan sa gitna ng isang napakasamang araw.

Ikaw.

Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit ako lumalaban.

Lumalaban sa lahat ng bagay na akala ko di ko na makakaya.

Bagay na akala ko imposible na.

Mga bagay na pilit mong binibigyang pag-asa.

Ikaw.

Ikaw ang bumuo sa ako.

Ako na nahulog na sayo.

Ikaw na na nag-iwan sakin ng sakit.

Sakit na puno ng tanong kung bakit.

AKO

Ako yung umaasa sa mga pangako.

Mga pangako na tila biglang naglaho.

Tila nabigla ako sa pangyayari.

Umalis ka na lang, ni wala man lang pasabi

Ako.

Ako yung iniwan mo.

Iniwan mo ng hindi klaro.

Puno ng tanong ang isipan ko.

Ang lahat ng to, ginawa mo, paano?

Ako.

Pilit ibinabalik ang alaala.

Alaala na binuo nating dalawa.

Nating dalawa na akala ko hanggang wakas na.

Pero hindi parin pala.

SIYA

Nakita kita kasama siya.

Hindi ko na lang nilagyan ng malisya.

Kung paano mong hawakan ang kamay niya.

ganan mo din hawakan ang kamay ko di ba?

Siya.

Siya ang tipo ng babaeng pinapangarap ng lahat.

At kahit ang ngiti mo hindi ko masukat.

Ganan ka ba katapat?

bakit parang hindi pa ko sapat.

Siya.

Siya ang nagiging kasiyahan mo.

Tila wala na ko sa’yong mundo.

Siya ba talagang ang tunay mong gusto?

Kahit masakit sa ikasasaya mo, Tatanggapin ko ang ‘yong “OO”.

(Written By:Hazel Anne H.)

[realhazelnut]

#09 “Superheroes did exists”

“With great powers comes great responsibility” - Spiderman

Since the day that I was born, I do believe in Superheroes, in magics, in Princesses, queens, kings, in happily ever after and as I grew up I have come to realize that it was more than true. They actually exists. THEY DO EXISTS! Life wasn’t easier as it seems but I never felt the burden of life all throughout my existence, My King and Queen always provides everything I needed, they make everyday a life worth living, they showed me what real happiness is, they make us the two princesses that was disciplined and raised with love in our very own castle. But... little do you know that the king and queen is also a superhero. When our empire was about to fall. My king went into another castle, working for others, working for another king forgetting that he was also one, sacrificing everything just for our own empire even though he is suffering a lot of pain. Yes! A lot of pain.  And as of now your princess was conquering the world outside the castle. It was Hard. Painful. Heartbreaking. I’m not used to this kind of people outside. I’m not used to being yelled and scolded many times even if i did my job right. Even though there’s nothing wrong. Tears fell down along my sheets as I lay down. But you are my strength Dad. If you can endure the suffering and weary day. So Am I. You always told me that I can do it. And Yes I will prove you that we have the superhero powers running in our veins. As of now let’s just help other people, do our duty and our empire was about to rise again very soon. VERY SOON DAD! and we’ll live happily ever after. With Love, sacrifices and suffering can be endured. It might be painful but superheroes can also be a normal person sometimes.

(Written by: Hazel Anne H.)

[realhazelnut]

#08 “Fall”

Once a man notice a beautiful blossoming flower. He took care of it. Visit the flower every single day. Talk with it. Tell the bad dreams he got. Accepts every imperfections. And when it’s about time to pick the flower. He got hurt!. Bloods on her fingers. He didn’t notice the Torns. YES! TORNS! The man look at his bare hands, and says; “I never knew that even if I did everything just for you, You still end up hurting me” The man take a step back. As He look down he notices a small flower Simple. Calm. Swaying to the beat of the wind. Waiting for someone to notice That the flower exist. The man pick it herself. Put it in a vase with water in their home. As days passed. He went back on the place where he saw the flower he took care of. The flower was already dried. And crinkled It’s about to fall. While the flower the man got is an everlasting one. A flower that not everyone notices. But a flower that can taught you the value of appreciation. The value of simplicity. “Maybe that flower wasn’t just for me, Maybe that flower was waiting for someone else And I didn’t get to know it even more. And it’s great that I end up with  much beautiful flower that represents my Wife... not a kind of girl that can be easily noticed. But try to get to know her and you’ll love her much greater. Simple and Gorgeous” He says.

 (Written By: Hazel Anne H.)