I wish that I was Jessie's girl

whoa hey welcome i'm definitely extant and cool and awesomes. she/her

[realmcpersonface]

fine I'll pin a post

I'm a person of the ...her variety desperately wanting to go into film without doing anything for that goal. big fan of inaction, this one, and dinosaurs and not cell phones and not knowing how to internet and comics and planning and run on sentences.

trans in some non-male way that leans enough towards girl, asexual in the "idk what sexual attraction feels like and don't really want it"; I believe I am biromantic but a heavy lean towards wimmin and a love of indecision means I really don't know anymore

probably neurodivergent but even if self-diagnosis is an important step I don't wanna call it exactly.

Favorite...

Movies: The Mitchells vs. The Machines (*ahem* literally me, name included), Godzilla Minus One (needs a rewatch), recently I Saw the TV Glow. Plus Jurassic Park and Minority Report and Pacific Rim and Indiana Jones and Arrival and... my Letterboxd is named Real McPersonFace for the time being, and realmcperson's the url.

Musics (inspo for post): Local News Legend, Metric, I Fight Dragons, The Vincent Black Shadow, Teddy Grey, she/her/hers, Sonic musicians ... mostly anything upbeat, rock, and with a female lead. I tend to be opposed to whatever I see as "popular", even if I would probably like it. Honorable mentions: Go Child!, Paramore, Pigeon Pit.

Musics but classical: boy do I love taking music theory (*has nothing to do with actually listening to classical). Obviously Beethoven, specifically Pathetique Sonata, Chopin's good for Marche funebre (not the sonata one, earlier) and also just a lot, like Mahler and Vaughn Williams and the such.

Novels/prose: Ubik, Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said, A Scanner Darkly... really most Philip K. Dick I've read. Sadly I too am a teen who liked Catcher in the Rye.

Nonfiction: Ryan North's How to Invent Everything and I don't want to bother writing anything else, because I've read it like 6 times and can't be bothered to care about much else. Useful too!

Graphic novels/comics: Hellblazer, Hellboy, Batman: the Long Halloween, Kate Beaton's Ducks, Seconds, Scott Pilgrim, this one one called PTSD that happened to be neat, Saga, don't want to write The Sandman but it was until Neil Gaiman-ed, Saga of the Swamp Thing, V for Vendetta (kinda), Fables, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, Scott McCloud's Zot!, Usagi Yojimbo, why yes I am trying to list everything I think of so I don't forget, Seconds again, Time Before Time, Batman Year One, oh of course IDW's TMNT, Dragon Hoops, and Scott McCloud's The Sculptor. Probably left a few out (like the various Moon Knights and Sweet Tooth!)

Webcomics I suppose: Octopus Pie (finished), Dumbing of Age (still ongoing!), Sam and Fuzzy (main story's done), Let's Speak English! (been done for a while), Back! (also complete). Those are all the story ones and all that I'm still looking back on, also JS Power Hour but that's gag-a-day AND complete so it's dropped down a little.

Youtube-ers: mneh I don't like writing this but it's important to my characterization. Watch a lot but those I truly care about are currently RTGame, Scott The Woz and supplementary material, and Melody Nosurname. I specifically love Scott's Cookin' Hard, Snapcube's Sonic 06 fandub (SILVER!), RT's Slay the Princess, and a lot of little Mel clips.

well I thought I had an activites section or hobbies or just general, but nope. oh right, big fan of not using commas correctly, overusing parentheses, and writing things longer than they need to be. conclusion.

[catgirlforeskin]

Catholic Monks in Medieval France: gooning is a sin! All masturbation is sodomy, even without orgasm!

Meanwhile in China:

[catgirlforeskin]

What is the Maidist English Idialect?

Maidism began as a project here out of frustration with how much of the English language derives from masculine language. What started as frenzied hacking each head of this hydra upon discovery has cohered into a linguistic style that others have taken inspiration from and contributed to. This post collects those scattered principles into a single accessible location, to be updated over time, useful for whether you want to maidicize your everyday speech, reference it for creative fiction, or just think it's neat.

Maidism has one modest goal: the total feminization of the English language. Rip out masculinity root and stem, refuse to settle for "gender-neutral" language. Above all, have fun and be yourself, that's why I do this, and always question knowledge you've taken for granted, both in and outside the realm of etymology.

Why Maidist?

My first inklings of Maidism were born from my annoyance at the term Rifleman in military simulation spaces and a desire for a feminine replacement besides the standard, clunky "Riflewoman." I eventually settled on Riflemaid, for a number of reasons.

Firstly, it skews as close to man/mate as one can get while still being visually and audibly distinct, allowing it to easily replace them in existing phrases and compound words.

Secondly, "female" derives from Latin "femelle" (to suckle) but was later altered to match "male" so, doesn’t really serve our purposes here. "Woman" likewise comes from when "man" was neutral and synonymous with "hand" around 8 centuries ago, where we had the feminine "wifman" (wifehand) and masculine "werman" (manhand), but with "man" now masculine, woman doesn’t quite work either. That's where we get werewolf btw.

Thirdly, we already use maid in this way, just uncommonly, with mermaid, barmaid, handmaid, shieldmaid, bridesmaid, and so on. I like it, maid feels good on the tongue, and I work in housekeeping, I think maid deserves to be a term of honor, as femininity deserves as a whole, rather than its historical and contemporary denegrated position.

Why English?

It's my primary language. I've heard from those involved in great feminist discourse happening in other languages across the globe, and while I do some due diligence in basic feminizing of loan words I use in writing (o -> a in Spanish agent nouns, +in for Deutsch), I'm probably not who you should consult for deeper detail on that.

Why Idialect?

In linguistics, an idiolect describes the distinct dialect of an individual, and Maidism is more or less the product of a one maid army, though maybe it won't stay that way! However, the Greek idio- is masculine, its feminine equivalent is idia-. Thus, idialect.

The Fundamentals

So, down to the actual brass tacks. We can largely divide masculine language into two categories:

intrinsically masculine language, which contains a root or suffix synonymous with "man"

extrinsically masculine language, which lacks any masculine signifiess, but grew to be treated as masculine over time

There's gray areas, but let's go over some clear examples.

Intrinsic: mailman, actor, baker, lieutenant, aquarius, patriot

These feminize as mailmaid, actress, bakster, lieutenante, aquaria, and matriot, respectively. You can also mix up feminine suffixes, -trice/-trix/-tress are synonymous, same with -ster/-stress/ess, and others. Use what feels right to you in the moment! If you don't know the origin of an agent suffix, check it on wiktionary, there's a good chance its masculine.

Generally, avoid -er, -(t)or, -(ar)ius, -eur, -ant, -o. Be particularly wary of words from Latin and French, they're slippery bastardes. At least French you can slap an -e on most suffixes and call it a day.

Extrinsic: priest, lord, king, shepherd, drone, drake.

Traditionally feminize as priestess, lady, queen, shepherdess, bee, duck. Some of these terms (priest, lord, king) have no inherent masculinity to them, they were just roles historically exclusive to men. Shepherd is a clipping from sheepherder, I think it along with terms like priest or baron are fine, it can also be fun to use shepherdess, priestess, baroness, and the like. Femininity isn't something extraneous, it's something to assert proudly and to enjoy!

Drone, drake, and other terms for sexgendering animals are silly, all animals are girls. I also think its fine to keep using those terms as long as you're not thinking of the animal as "male" and still know she's, yknow, she. Use at your own peril.

This is far, far from comprehensive, and I'll likely add more as I learn more independently from others, I'm doing it all the time, it's something I enjoy and, if anymaid else gets something from this, awesome, yknow? Maybe this grows into more, maybe it stays a basic primess I can hand to randoms who download my wargame RIFLEMAID and go "why is this written like that" we'll see lol. And if it gets one person to stop saying "guys/dude/bro/man/buddy" all the time, that's a win in my book

[catgirlforeskin]

hello to the trans girl who got spotted by my friend reading this post at the San Jose airport today I love you

[demilypyro]

I'm not butch but I follow their beliefs

[codex-entry]

stories which clearly have very lofty thematic and intellectual goals but come up short have a unique ability to inspire madness.

like, any time I see a narrative that tries and fails to articulate something profound and nuanced, yet still comes close enough that I can see the silhouette of the thing they were maybe probably possibly trying point at, some apophenic part of my brain always gets set off cause it reflexively wants so so very badly to make it make sense.

but there's nothing there to make sense of, because the reality is it's just a poorly written story that failed to coherently say what it was trying to say. yet I can still hear the muffled words through the walls so some part of me remains convinced that if I just look at the text hard enough, I'll find the missing piece I've been looking for and everything will fall into place, and next thing I know I'm trapped in my own personal copy of The King in Yellow with no means of escape.

[codex-entry]

this post brought to you by the fact that i thought about Bioshock Infinite again

[rockergiirl]

i think its important for people, in particular younger people, to learn to be able to play old games

i was thinking about a video i had watched around the time the remaster was announced, where the person made the argument that the halo remaster was being made because the original halo was too inaccessible for modern audiences, that its dated graphics would be too much for people that don't have nostalgia for the given era of games

i disagree. i think if anything it is imperative that younger audiences learn to be able to play these old games in order to be able to demand better of these kinds of remasters, to have that context on why old games look and feel the way they do, so when a remaster is done we all have context on what its meant to look and feel like

like of all the games to argue are too old for modern audiences, the original halo was so influential that much of its gameplay can be easily intuited by anyone familiar with modern fps games

and for graphics, while halo's graphics may be dated by today's standards, they are by no means unapproachable, they're still clear and concise, much more than older games

it has never been as good a time to play retro games! with things like gog and community patches and source ports and emulation and whatnot, its easier than ever to be able to play old games with plenty of modern conveniences, and i highly recommend anyone, especially younger people, to play the old games that were influences on the games they love today, if anything to be able to appreciate the modern games and understand why these old games are able to stand the test of time

long story short: everyone should learn to play old games

[cuckoftheday]

You should transition to female right now.

[cuckoftheday]

[artseniccatnip]

they are probably all sick to fucking death of each other

[elliespectacular]

Playing the character of my ideal future self and relentlessly committing to the role until I've actually done things I want and acted in ways I wish I could and spoken with the voice I wish I had, all in real life with the justification that to do otherwise would break character, until the idealization blurs and melds into the real me

[sinchobo]

VS THE WORLD

[galahadart]

🎤 UnBEATable 🎶

[indigosfindings]

well seymour, you are an odd fellow, but i must say, nobody's ever made me feel like this

[shegayonmygirl]

[shegayonmygirl]

[shegayonmygirl]

[shegayonmygirl]

[shegayonmygirl]

[shegayonmygirl]

[shegayonmygirl]

[shegayonmygirl]

[shegayonmygirl]

[shegayonmygirl]

[shegayonmygirl]

[shegayonmygirl]

[shegayonmygirl]

[demilypyro]

i always wonder where the repeated push to make Spider-Man have organic webs even comes from. inventing the web shooters always felt like a core Peter Parker moment to me, him using the nerdiness he got bullied for to establish himself, yknow. what's the benefit in having the webs be organic? is it somehow beneficial to the finance side of things? i would assume the opposite; how you gonna sell web shooter toys without web shooters?

[nerathul]

Apparently Sam Rami thought it was unrealistic a poor teenager could invent such a revolutionary things; also stay poor after doing so.

Also possibly wanting a metaphor for puberty and night emission???

[demilypyro]

SPIDER CUM?????

[charl0ttan]

tattoos and pizzas get their own parlors but nobody else. what gives

[charl0ttan]

never mind a lot of places have parlors actually

[charl0ttan]

we live in a parlor civilization

[ooccouchgags]

[dynared]

There are four jokes in the span of 30 seconds and they all land. Prime Simpsons was something else.

[once-ina-blue-moon]

@realmcpersonface

[tgirl-tamag0tchi]

More boys should fight so hard with so much homoerotic tension that they both realize they’re actually girls and then violently makeout about it while covered in blood.