I'm Charly/Charles, a Trans, Autistic, Wheelchair user in their twenties. Currently trying to finish my teacher training (duel qualification in SEND and Design and Technology) and get a job. Because of this if you are under the age of 18 please DO NOT FOLLOW ME. This blog will contain rants about my health: Ehlers Dandles Syndrome, POTS, Autism, ADHD, Dispraxia, Depression, Anxiety, others awaiting diagnosis. Will also ramble about my awesome partner Pronouns : He / His or Their / Theirs This blog may sometimes be NSFW Always will tag triggers, please message if I forget any
I am a fem trans guy who has just started to wear makeup but my weakened hands wont cooperate and make a big mess even with my splints, braces and a grip on the makeup brush. I am reasonably competent in traditional makeup techniques (and special effects makeup), just have no idea how to make it work with my silly hands since my neurological symptoms have worsened.
the cuboid bone in your foot has been floating for over a week (subluxed and partially rotated) and it just wont go back with all my usual methods (muscle relaxants, pressure points, manual relocation, tens machine, acupressure, taping and wearing my usual braces and orthotics). Going to wait till I see my eds physio in a week for treatment though as all of the methods used by other medical professionals have been tried and I am scared that they will refer me for surgery. Wish my home was wheelchair accessible as this is cutting my usual walking distance (8-10meters) down dramatically.
I may be in a lot of pain and struggling, thank you body for making me take a opiate based pain killer break, but I am an adorable autistic cripple in my nestÂ
US-based photographer Freddy Fabris had always wanted to pay homage to the Renaissance masters with his photos in some way, but he wasn't sure how until he stumbled upon an auto-mechanic shop in the Midwest. This led to a brilliant series of portraits with auto mechanics reenacting famous Renaissance paintings.
Minority young men are considered by their white peers to be cool and tough; minority young women, on the other hand, are stereotyped as âghettoâ and âloud.â
Key Excerpt:
But recent research published in the American Sociological AssociationâsSociology of Educationjournal shows that my gender (male) was one of the determinative factors in the relative ease of my social integration. Inan articlepublished last year, Megan M. Holland, a professor at the University of Buffalo and a recent Harvard Ph.D., studied the social impact of a desegregation program on the minority students who were being bussed to a predominantly white high school in suburban Boston. She found that minority boys, because of stereotypes about their supposed athleticism and âcoolness,â fit in better than minority girls because the school gave the boys better opportunities to interact with white students. Minority boys participated in sports and non-academic activities at much higher rates. Over the course of her study, she concluded that structural factors in the school as well as racial narratives about minority males resulted in increased social rewards for the boys, while those same factors contributed to the isolation of girls in the diversity program.
Another study looked at a similar program, called Diversify. Conducted by Simone Ispa-Landa at Northwestern University,it showedhow gender politics and gender performance impacted the way the minority students were seen at the school. The study shows that âas a group, the Diversify boys were welcomed in suburban social cliques, even as they were constrained to enacting race and gender in narrow ways.â Diversify girls, on the other hand, âwere stereotyped as âghettoâ and âloudâââbehavior that, when exhibited by the boys in the program, was socially rewarded. Another finding from her study was that because of the gender dynamics present at the schoolâthe need to conform to prevalent male dominance in the schoolââneither the white suburban boys nor the black Diversify boys were interested in datingâ the minority girls. The girls reported being seen by boys at their schools as âaggressiveâ and not having the âBarbie dollâ look. The boys felt that dating the white girls was âeasierâ because they âcanât handle the black girls.â Â
The black boys in Ispa-Landaâs study found themselves in peculiar situations in which they would play into stereotypes of black males as being cool or athletic by seeming âstreet-smart.â At the same time, though, they would work to subvert those racial expectations by code-switching both their speech and mannerisms to put their white classmates at ease. Many of the boys reported feeling safer and freer at the suburban school, as they would not be considered âtoughâ at their own schools. It was only in the context of the suburban school that their blackness conferred social power. In order to maintain that social dominance, the boys engaged in racial performance, getting into show fights with each other to appear tough and using rough, street language around their friends.
In the case of the girls, the urban signifiers that gave the boys so much social acceptance, were held against them. While the boys could wear hip-hop clothing, the girls were seen as âghettoâ for doing the same. While the boys could display a certain amount of aggression, the girls felt they were penalized for doing so. Ispa-Landa, in an interview, expressed surprise at âhow much of a consensus there was among the girls about their place in the school.â She also found that overall, the girls who participated in diversity programs paid a social cost because they âfailed to embody characteristics of femininityâ that would have valorized them in the school hierarchy. They also felt excluded from the sports and activities that gave girls in those high schools a higher social status, such as cheerleading and Model U.N., because most activities ended too late for the parents of minority girls. Holland notes that minority parents were much more protective of the girls; they expressed no worries about the boys staying late, or over at friendâs houses. Â
Once minority women leave high school and college, they are shown to continue to struggle with social integration, even as they achieve higher educational outcomes and, in certain locales, higher incomes than minority men. Though, as presaged by high-school sexual politics, they were stillthree times less likelythan black men to marry outside of their race.
This is exactly why discussions about intersectionality are so incredibly important, and I can also attest to this personally. My little sister (1 grade below me) and I attended the same 90% white elementary school. I was, at first, the only black boy in my class and she was the only black girl (and black person period) in her class. Despite being shy and bookish at the time, I still benefited from being tokenized as a black male in my class. My sister, who was much more strong-minded and outspoken than I was, was summarily tortured by her classmates (white girls especially) and her teachers for years. Eventually it was so bad that she was forced to transfer out, even as I continued on at the school without many problems.Â
The year after she transferred out, another black boy transferred into my class. This boy was athletic and his manner of speech, mannerisms, etc. instantly endeared him to all of the white people in the class. He performed blackness in a way that our white peers wanted to see, and he was immediately one of the most popular kids in the class, in a way that I never was.
There is a performance of blackness that occurs before white audiences, as per white supremacist tropes which constrain and define âblacknessâ in narrow ways, and this is a performance which many black people can feel compelled to engage in, inhabiting the associated stereotypes for social capital from their white peers. But this is also a performance that black males can benefit disproportionately from socially in white spaces even as black women get criticized and demonized (including, paradoxically, by black men!!!) for the same behavior.
Great article, click through the link for the full piece by ABOUBACAR NDIAYE.
Mmmm! Iâm procrastinating/taking a break from writing a paper on the criminalization of Black girls and look what just happens to be on my dash. Look at God looking out for your girl (and telling me to get back to work). đ
it annoys me that the article is saying âminorityâ when those specific stereotypes only fit the narrative assigned to black people. As soon as I was asked what kind of music I listened too and shocked my class by saying radio disney and that I did not listen to hip hop I learned very quickly that the black children who performed blackness in a way that I couldnt were automatically popular and I was ignored.
People will tell you that emotional abuse isnât real and what youâre dealing with isnât that big a deal and youâre just exaggerating, but let me tell you something.
If youâve ever been wary of everyone you know, even people you trust, because youâre expecting them to get angry with you over literally anything, make fun of you, or start making threats, somethingâs wrong.
If youâve ever had to plan things in anticipation of a potential tantrum that you fear will be taken out on you, somethingâs wrong.
If you succumb to someoneâs demands because youâre never sure if their threats are empty or legit and you just want to play it on the safe side, somethingâs wrong.
If you find yourself jumping at smaller noises in anticipation that theyâre a warning sign for a tantrum, somethingâs wrong.
If you hide things - especially things that make you happy - because youâre so afraid that theyâll make fun of you for liking them, scold you for liking something they donât, take them away, destroy them, or that theyâll defile them and ruin that love you have for them, somethingâs wrong.
If you find yourself being silent in the face of mild disagreements or thinly-veiled insults, rather than standing up for yourself because you just donât want to start an argument and make things worse, somethingâs wrong.
If that very lack of standing up for yourself eventually leads to you never offering your opinion in any sort of discussion out of fear of ridicule or being scolded because thatâs what youâre so used to, somethingâs wrong.
If you end up spending a lot of your time in your room keeping to yourself and keeping any trip outside of your room to an absolute minimum because you donât want to risk putting one toe out of line and setting off a tantrum, yet youâre also aware that hiding out will also cause an issue and youâre probably just minimizing the risk instead of erasing it entirely, somethingâs wrong.
If you ever habitually glance outside the window to keep watch for your supposed abuserâs car to return from their work, errand or trip, and then heading to your room or other hiding place to keep out of their way, erasing any obvious signs that youâve been out and about in the rest of your living space, somethingâs wrong.
If one of your greatest fantasies involves not a dream career or winning the lottery but instead an escape plan succeeding, somethingâs wrong.
If you could basically summarize your life as living in constant, subtle fear, Something. Is. Wrong.
Emotional abuse is very, very real, and it has lasting consequences that can affect peopleâs relationships, their jobs, and their lives all-around.
Finally saw a neurologist, after requesting for years, and having many symptoms blamed on neurological problems
Its nice to have my symptoms believed and not just blamed on my anxiety and autism. I now have a diagnosis of non epileptic seizures and my neurologist agrees with rheumy that I probably have POTS, so am being referred for tilt table test. She also thinks that I have Functional Neurological Disorder, going to have a deeper look at medical history and refer me to a different specialist first though. FND would explain the why I have had neurological problems my whole life and explain stuff like my vision loss, lazy bladder, nerve problems etc There is also a good chance that I have chiari malformation which I had been holding that she would dismiss.
Thank you body, just what I needed an infection when I have my final uni deadline this week! At least I know why my POTS has been far worse than usual and my ADHD is of the wall. At least I'm not in a pain flare yet.
I fell out of my wheelchair (and got a knitting needle stuck in my thigh) because I fainted from the blood pressure crash, from just REPOSITIONING. Yet I still have it in my head that I'm faking or it doesn't affect me badly
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