Chihayafuru Thoughts - Chihaya and Taichi in Ch. 140-247
This is the next part of this series. I ended up writing mostly from the perspective of Chihaya and how Taichi affects her character arc so I might eventually write another that's more from Taichi's side. There's also spoilers for the entire rest of the series like the title indicates.
After Taichi leaves the club, both he and Chihaya start on new parts of their character arcs. Both have to be independent in their own way; Taichi in finding (or at least identifying) his own reasons to play and enjoyment of karuta, and Chihaya in taking care of the club (after her temporary absence) without Taichi.
Chihaya ends up being afraid of karuta after Taichi leaves, as she tells Mr. Fukusaku after emotionally requesting time off from the club. Her being afraid of karuta is a physical manifestation of her recognizing how her near hyperfixation and passion may have negative consequences, even if that was never the intention. The guilt she feels over never realizing Taichi's feelings and hurting him is intense enough that she starts to see the cards as being completely blacked out, just as he described his own view of them. Ultimately I think this is for Chihaya's benefit because in many ways her goals have changed. She doesn't only want to become queen, she wants the club to continue and thrive after she graduates and has plans to become a teacher. Finding a fine line between passion and being able to effectively communicate with others is a necessary step for Chihaya and her goals, it just so happens the catalyst was a messy situation.
While she's on her break, she eventually goes to the Shiranami Society and after playing Dr. Harada, she vows to remember how "cold and heavy" the cards were and "how painful it all was". I think at this point it's apparent that Chihaya wants to grow in her ability to reach people. There's a couple instances toward the beginning of the series when the Mizusawa members tell her they're fine with her somewhat overbearing nature and airheadedness because those are just parts of her personality. However, now this seems to be something Chihaya herself wants to change, which again makes sense because her goals have expanded and changed. She wants to make sure that she is trying to learn and grow from the situation with Taichi. The placement of a conversation about her future with a teacher (a few chapters earlier) that includes Chihaya being questioned on if she understands how hard it can be to deal with others seems to foreshadow where her character arc will go after Taichi leaves (and also seems to rub salt in her wounds because it's right after he leaves).
At first, when Chihaya tries to lead and encourage the team, it doesn't go well because she doesn't really have the tools to effectively do it. She just wins quickly as per usual, and instead of improving the team's morale, it instead puts some pressure on them to live up to her skill level and makes her feel distant and isolated. After realizing this, she starts to mimic the way Taichi led them, using the very same words that once supported her and playing alongside them, "like Taichi would". I also believe part of the reason she does this is to make it feel like he's still being included; even though he quit, she and the rest of the members (the ones who knew him at least) believe he will always be a part of the team. I think this is why she essentially says that she'll wait as long as it takes for him to come back. She's accepted that he most likely won't play another match with them as a team, but they'll always be connected and she hopes that he'll return.
Retro plays Chihaya in the Mizusawa vs Hokuo match and tells her that she's cold because she "doesn't notice players below her". Despite him taking it back and saying her aiming for people who are 'strong but alone' isn't wrong, between his words and the words of the announcer talking about what makes a strong leader, it's clear that Chihaya agrees with the fact that she's "cold". She thinks of Taichi upon hearing the announcer's words and realizes that she didn't notice (or acknowledge enough) the qualities that he brought and how essential he was to the team's emotional strength. She thinks of him often in this part of the manga and seems to be noticing more and more the things that made Taichi, Taichi and how she often may have taken him for granted because he had simply always been there.
She continues to incorporate things that Taichi used to do when leading the team at nationals, telling Arata she "can feel his presence". When playing against Arata's team, she's so focused on her team that for most of the match she doesn't realize she's playing against Arata, the first time they've played since they were kids. She continues wearing Taichi's headband even after attributing her bad luck in the previous match to it, seeming to indicate she's emotionally supported by his presence and wants to include him. It's only when the dead 'Chiha' is read and she notices Taichi that her unbelievable concentration is broken and she realizes it's Arata she's playing. Taichi more or less lit up the room for her (sorry to be cheesy). After the match, Mizusawa members point out that it's the first time Chihaya immediately falls asleep after playing, as if Taichi simply there is enough for her to relax a bit.
Beyond the fact that she was able to support the team, another moment where I feel like is proof of Chihaya's growth is when she goes after Porky after he loses to Arata in the Class A matches. It's a small interaction, but nice to see. She doesn't say much at first and seems to wait to see if he even wants to talk, and after he starts getting down on himself, she makes sure he hears exactly what her thoughts on his contributions are. She no longer gets mesmerized by players like Arata and Shinobu to the point that she forgets about her teammates until someone gets or updates her. She is now able to be there for her team and uplift them, making sure she actually tells them about how she values them and the work they've put in together. I'd also argue that her going to "answer" Arata is also proof of her realizing that hearing anything in regards to how she feels is better than nothing, something she probably learned from her inability to properly communicate with Taichi.
After the high school tournament, Chihaya does an extensive cleaning of the club room before she retires and is joined by Taichi, his first time back to that room since resigning. This chapter in general is one of my favorites (Desktomu's lines about their time being a treasure he never expected to have always gets me) but this is the first chapter where Taichi and Chihaya's relationship is seen after everything went down. In the club room, there's some awkwardness and it's clear Chihaya isn't quite sure what to say, and Taichi seems to have been trying to say something before being interrupted by the band students. Whether it was an apology or a "don't worry about me" in regards to her being cautious because of his feelings toward her, or something else entirely we don't know, but it seems obvious their relationship may be different moving forward.
When they're at karaoke in the same chapter, Chihaya seems more conscious of Taichi. Her reaction to him genuinely having fun is sweet because I feel as though Chihaya may have been worried that she may never see that side of Taichi again (and another instance of him seeming to light up the room to her). Him helping clean and hanging out with the club members also seems to prove to Chihaya that he valued the time he spent with all of them, even if at one point they were a source of pain. The panels of Chihaya and Taichi back to back signify a couple things to me. They're facing opposite directions, a visual to show how their lives have taken them in different directions; they are no longer on the team together, practicing together, spending as much time together, etc. and yet they still support each other. Sudo even points out later that even though they're not how they once were, they were still inevitably connected to each other.
Chihaya also makes sure to thank Taichi after they watch the tv special and Taichi is able to articulate to Chihaya's mom why now is a good time for Chihaya to attempt becoming queen even though it causes friction with college entrance exams. Based on all the times she thought of Taichi after he left and her realizations of how much he did for her and the team, I feel as though her reiterating "Really, Taichi. Thank you." is more all-encompassing than just her gratitude for helping her mom understand.
After this, we finally get to the part where Taichi comes back to playing karuta outside of his practice with Suou. This excites Chihaya and she is conscious of him many times in both the qualifiers and his matches with Arata to become the challenger ("Chiha helped Taichi? I'm so glad.", "It's fine as long as Taichi can take cards.", "Taichi's eyes told me to not let anyone take the s-sound cards."). It reminds her of the time they played on a team and supported each other and how hard they worked together (she cries when she sees that Taichi wore his Mizusawa shirt when he became the eastern rep). When Taichi loses to Arata, Kana looks at Chihaya and notes she was crying "bitter tears". Some people interpret this as Chihaya hoping Taichi would defeat Arata, even if only subconsciously. While possible, I've always though of it as being specifically because Taichi lost. They've worked hard together over the years, she recently thought that she'd lost her connection to him, and now while she continues on the path to accomplish her dream, she has to leave him behind (at least for this year). It also connects to Harada's line that "the three will become one and two by the end of the day" and now that Chihaya sees that, she can't help but cry. Again, I'm not sure I see it as her secretly hoping Arata would lose, but realizing that Taichi won't be going further with them this year and that breaking her heart.
Once the challenger matches are decided, Taichi and Chihaya don't see each much face to face. The last time we're shown that they do before the queen matches is when they give Taichi a futon for a night. Kana asks Taichi about his feelings for Chihaya and his response is that they may gradually fade. Initially, it's not known whether or not she heard this, but we'll circle back to that. When Chihaya visits a shrine for New Year's, she thinks about what she should ask her friends in regard to preparation for the queen match. When she gets to Taichi, she's at a loss for words and/or we as the audience don't see what answer she comes to. I've seen people say she may have just wanted to ask him to come and support, which based on other events doesn't sound all that unlikely in my opinion. The biggest reason I say this is the scene when she sees Taichi under the Omi Jingu shrine, smiling and praying. He's not actually there, but it does seem like she really wants him to be there. Right after this she thinks of the club praying there in their first year, but it's worth noting she specifically saw only Taichi, smiling in a very similar way as when she told her to become the strongest in the world when she became the challenger (also remember how badly she wanted him to smile previously?).
At the queen match itself, there are many times when she feels Taichi's support, directly and indirectly. Unbeknownst to her, he helped Chitose get her bag to her and his conversation with her seems to be a factor in her watching the matches at the end. Arata also resorts to essentially acting as Taichi to help motivate Chihaya, which to me is an acknowledgement on Arata's part that while he saw her take her first card and played her at her highest concentration, he hasn't been the one directly supporting her all this time (but some may not like that interpretation lol). She also gets flustered upon hearing Taichi texted Arata only to rush back for her phone and feel disappointed she didn’t get one.
I also find it symbolic that Taichi is somehow attached to all three of her victories over Shinobu. Chihaya wins her first game with the 'Tare' card, one that she attaches to him because it was the poem being read in her headphones when Taichi found her in high school. The second win was taken after she realizes "Taichi has always been here", and fully acknowledges all the support she's felt from him, both in the time he directly supported her and the team as well as the indirect support in the lessons and pieces of advice he'd given her. The first time he walks in (during the fourth match), we see Chihaya remember Taichi's line to Kana about the possibility of his feelings eventually fading. This has always intrigued me (at first I didn't even know she'd heard that) because it seems to bother her or make her anxious, meaning she may subconsciously not want them to fade; she seems to be figuring out her own feelings. Afterward, she recalls the vision of him at the shrine, as if him now being there in person answered her own prayer.
The third win is taken when the 'Tachi' card, Taichi's namesake card, is read. She specifically kept this card and once again very noticeably acknowledges his presence when he comes to watch (like I said, he seems to light up the room). After she wins and wakes up, she immediately notices his absence and celebrates after hearing that he's going to continue playing, with his eyes set on becoming Meijin.
Finally, on their graduation day, she once again becomes a bit anxious after hearing that Taichi's plans for college are different that she assumed. When Desktomu uses the phrase "you're just his friend", she seems bothered and has a moment of realization that reminds me of the moment she truly realized Taichi loved her (the panel is from the extra pages in the final volume I believe, placed with flashbacks from throughout the series). Several moments come to her mind, as if asking herself why she wanted him to smile so desperately, why she felt so comforted and supported by his presence, and why she wanted him to be there so bad that she had a vision of him under such a symbolic place. It's then that she seems to fully comprehend that she would in fact interpret her feelings toward him as being romantic (the distorted effect over her in the panel is what reminds me of the moment from Taichi’s confession), and realizes she wants to tell him that. When she talks to him and is assured that they'll see each other again as long as they keep playing, Chihaya's reaction seems to say "that isn't enough anymore". Chihaya's confession is really well done in my opinion, and it uses parts of her character growth well; she's making sure her thoughts and feelings are conveyed properly (in this case even more so considering she heard Taichi say that his feelings may gradually fade).
Another long one and I feel like I didn't even say all I planned to, but thanks for reading if you got to the end!
