Red Hood

this is my official Tumbler and i will explain all the secret about the Batman and all the other vigilantes in gotham. Batman say we can't public shit, but he's not my boss.

[redhoodforreal]

We ARE a bunch of liar.

[sepperince]

Im sorry are you implying that oracle the person who knows almost everything about everyone would not lie to keep a secret. And Alfred the person who both helped train all the Gotham vigilantes and helps keep the Waynes identities does not lie.

[redhoodforreal]

We're talking about lie within the family:

"no i'm not trying ti sacrifice myself for the good of you all"

"no, i didn't spike tour coffe"

"i'm totally fine"

"i'm out with friend, i didn't plan to work on a extra Dangerous case alone"

That kind of shit

[redhoodforreal]

If you were to give your phone contacts personalized ringtones what would each contact get?

I can share my oersonal contact, you know, secety identity and so on.

Batman would kill me.

[pleadingly]

Reblog if it's okay to invade your ask box.

[moonhowldance-deactivated201902]

Always

[redhoodforreal]

Which of the batfam member i do not want as my enemies?

Well, everyone can be quite scarry (except robin. I refuse to fear him. He can break in in my safe house, stel my stuff and try to pick a fight, but he still a little ankle-bitter in my eyes. I change his diapher, i would never fear him)

But he one i really don't want as an enemy is Signal and not for all that meta shit (i rather fight superman than him) he's just fucking insane. I see him break every single bat-rule and never, ever, not a single time pay the consequence of his action.

He would be ok with anithing: kid army? Why not. Violent revolutiun? Hell yeah. Spread incontrollable chaos over the word? You can bet on it.

And more he love drama! I see him istigate Red Robin and Robin to fight (they both risck theyr life in the fight) just cause he was bored! He eated pop-coarn waching his brother trying to kill each other.

He joke avout my death in my fycki g face without an inch of fear or remorse.

And someway everyone think he is the rasonable one among us.

I won't make him my enemie.

Never.

[beechaotic]

EVERYONE. MAKE YOUR ALT SONAS.

@gotham-s-nightingale @gothamghostwhispers @evandalist-in-gotham @redhoodforreal @bugboi-of-gotham

[redhoodforreal]

You tag me to do what? That would be embarassing, unprofessional and more important i do not spend time immagin to be someonelse

It would be a victorian pirat (capitan hood), with a love tha fame to be the more cruel pirat on the seven see and to bow down for no-one. He would be feared over the world but adimret by his one little crew of outlow. He would also stel the heart of his second in comand (boatwine harper) and the heart of some hesotic princess divorced with his evil EVIL rich brother.

I'm totally not doing this

[incorrectbatfam]

Goon #1: Last night, Red Hood paid the boss a visit, and Robin picked up a grenade someone left on a crate, and let me tell you...

Goon #1: When Hood yelled “Put that shit back!” so loud, you know what I did?

Goon #2: You put your own shit back, didn’t you?

Goon #1: I put my own shit back.

[itsme-inbooks]

@redhoodforreal this really happened?

[not-a-conspiracyonist]

Dunno, i dont pay attention to random goons

[itsme-inbooks]

Now I'm a little confused

But let's wait till Red Hood answer

Also, Hi I'm a big fan of your theories

[not-a-conspiracyonist]

I'm an expert. I know everithing about every vigilante.

[redhoodforreal]

You don't know shit. Yes, it happens so many time. Goons are kinda stupid and someway cute, like some big dog

[redhoodforreal]

Today i'm here to explain the real reason that make me put away cool, easy to use, pratical guns: red robin that one time watch me in the eyes and tell me: "you shot a people like you're a cop"

I'm not fucking cop! I would never let people think i look like one. So i put guns away ajd chose crowbar, you know for the face-your-fear thing

[cannibalhellhound]

Plus the crowbar is way more fun

[redhoodforreal]

I dont lie, i sometimes yeeted some guns too and that was funny. And it hurts... But hiting people with crowbar is funny too

[redhoodforreal]

Today i'm here to explain the real reason that make me put away cool, easy to use, pratical guns: red robin that one time watch me in the eyes and tell me: "you shot a people like you're a cop"

I'm not fucking cop! I would never let people think i look like one. So i put guns away ajd chose crowbar, you know for the face-your-fear thing

[itsme-inbooks]

Red Hood, I love you.

(This is a love declaration in the time I make a good one)

[redhoodforreal]

From a twenty years old ace cutie i take it as a compliment

[not-a-conspiracyonist]

I don' have a superhero boyfriend who can blackmail other hero to let me talk to them. But i have my metods so i meet some of the big, famous hero and i ask them "why is batman a hero?" Here the answer:

Green lantern says he was biten by a radioactive bat

Wonder Woman says she's pretty sure he is a man cursed to help by the god and inable to left gotham alone

Flash just says he is a bat who gained (trough the non exactly safe and very chimical water of gotham) the ability to turn into a man

Costantine says he probabily is a vampire who make a pact with some higher being to be able to sustain the sun and in exange have to protect gotham forever

Acquaman says he is a robot who clone mini version of himself to make them into soldier

Shazam says he is some prince of hell undercover in the mortal reign.

Green arrow says he is a dickhead and refuse to say anything else

Superman says he is just someone too tired to feel anything except the adrenalin of risking his life and the joy of children (too many children he says a little concerned)

Sometimes hero are so clueless. We all know he is just Bruce Wayne's sugar baby

[redhoodforreal]

Today i'm here to explain the real reason that make me put away cool, easy to use, pratical guns: red robin that one time watch me in the eyes and tell me: "you shot a people like you're a cop"

I'm not fucking cop! I would never let people think i look like one. So i put guns away ajd chose crowbar, you know for the face-your-fear thing

[not-a-conspiracyonist]

Would you prefer to be saved by...

would you like to be saved by

batman

nightwing

red hood

batgirl

red robin

spoiler

signal

orpahn

robin

Voting ended onMar 19, 2024

If you are not a pussy, say the reason in the comment/tag

I start: red robin cause he's hella hot

[cant-have-shit-in-gotham]

I’d pick Hood, but it’d be embarrassing to need the Boss to come save me.

Maybe the furry, we need to have a chat.

[not-a-conspiracyonist]

Boss? You need help? Money?

[cant-have-shit-in-gotham]

Na, I work for the Hood by choice. I’ve got dental and pto.

[not-a-conspiracyonist]

My boy says he is kinda a dick sometimes

[cant-have-shit-in-gotham]

Meh. If ya work for ‘im and he goes too far he’ll hand ya a couple hundreds once he’s cooled off.

[redhoodforreal]

Cool, remember me to rais your pay kid

[not-a-conspiracyonist]

Would you prefer to be saved by...

would you like to be saved by

batman

nightwing

red hood

batgirl

red robin

spoiler

signal

orpahn

robin

Voting ended onMar 19, 2024

If you are not a pussy, say the reason in the comment/tag

I start: red robin cause he's hella hot

[cant-have-shit-in-gotham]

I’d pick Hood, but it’d be embarrassing to need the Boss to come save me.

Maybe the furry, we need to have a chat.

[not-a-conspiracyonist]

Boss? You need help? Money?

[cant-have-shit-in-gotham]

Na, I work for the Hood by choice. I’ve got dental and pto.

[not-a-conspiracyonist]

My boy says he is kinda a dick sometimes

[redhoodforreal]

He say what now!?

[asktimdrake]

what truly inspired you to take on the robin mantle?

[redhoodforreal]

Unrespectfully FUCK YOU

[redhoodforreal]

If your life was to be summed up with 1 ao3 tag what would it be and why?

Sorry, id really like to pretend i'm an onorable person who didn't know how Ao3 work...

Kidding

Except my fucking name who is used way to much and in too much smut ff. Id would say something like "i don't even know" cause fuck me if i know how it's going on.

[redhoodforreal]

GET TRIPLE BOOPED BITCH

also, OPT IN SO I CAN SPAM BOOP YOU >:(

Naw, was that necessary? Do you feel the need to do it?

[redhoodforreal]

*ghost sound*

*answer in revived-gost sound*

[redhoodforreal]

Bruce say i should spend more time with my family, but then he say

-i can't go out with robin cause together we're "dangerous" and "mourderous"

-i can't go out with Black bat cause i have a bad influence (i convince her to blow up a bilding just once)

-i can't go out with Signal caouse he "isn't done learning how thing work"

-i can't go out with spoiler caouse we're a "menance to society"

-i can go out with Red Robin cause "we're too dangerous together"

I can only work with Oracle or Nightwing!? Wtf man! Does he still think i need a babysitter? Let me be the Big one for once