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#extradirty
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@sepperince
We ARE a bunch of liar.
Im sorry are you implying that oracle the person who knows almost everything about everyone would not lie to keep a secret. And Alfred the person who both helped train all the Gotham vigilantes and helps keep the Waynes identities does not lie.
*batfam is on vacation in australia*
tim: -and once a year a bunch of spiders rain down from the sky! the sky bruce! they say it looks like snow!
bruce: *sighs* tim you have been freaking out since we got of the plane you need to calm down.
tim: it’s terrifying bruce! even the small and cute animals are vicious killers!
bruce: tim i’m sure you are overreacting-
*screaming is heard from behind them as magpies swarm jason and dick*
jason: *desperately shielding his face* I TOLD YOU NOT TO PISS OFF THE BIRDS DICK!
dick: I WAS TRYING TO CONNECT WITH THEM!! YOU KNOW BIRD TO BIRD?!?
jason: YOU ARENT ACTUALLY A BIRD DIPSHIT!
tim: see bruce even the birds are evil!
bruce: tim you are being- wait where’s damian?
damian: *walking over with a kangaroo on a leash* father this is bat kangaroo-
bruce: no more pets damian!
damian: but father you haven’t heard the best part.
*a joey pops out of bat kangaroos pouch*
damian: kangarobin.
🦘KANGAROBIN 🦘
is there an equivalent of Gotham in Australia??? Because if you thought Gothamites were crazy, may I introduce you to:
The G’tham-mates
I need someone to write about a Gotham in Australia it would greatly improve my mental health.
Hello please reblog this if you're okay with people sending you random asks to get to know you better
Bruce: how to not mess up your child.
Bruce: One, don't die.
Bruce: Two, don't try to kill them.
Bruce: And don't die in front of them.
Bruce: Three, don't accuse them of trying to kill someone.
Bruce: Four, don't die.
Bruce: Five, get an Alfred, they're a life saver.
What is each member of the batfams favorite multi-purpose tool?
Dick: the Discowing suit
Jason: a tire iron
Tim: Superboy
Damian: Titus
Duke: a flashlight
Cullen: eyeliner
Stephanie: a waffle maker
Cassandra: a free knife
Barbara: Google
Harper: a taser
Carrie: a slingshot
Kate: her bike
Alfred: "the guy"
Selina: her cats
Bruce: a batarang
What about Alfred's shotgun?
Headcanon
Tim uses pavlovian condition to do everything from keeping his friends to waking up in the morning.
Oh Deer.
This is a convo i had with my brother lol
Moose are deer right?
Robin word fixations are something else.
Dick Grayson and it's unwords (chalant, whelmed, turbed). Jason Todd and his use of outdated Shakespeare words. Tim Drake speaking in code instead of actual sentences when he's worked too long. Damian Wayne and his tutting and noises.
dc comics fans being infamously the ones to only read their fave’s arcs and stories and are somewhat but arent really familliar with any other superheroes outside of said fave’s circle is so funny. we’re all just relatives that see each other during thanksgiving holidays and like each other but don’t know what the heck the other is up to.. booster gold fan my cousin pass the potatoes
The more I think about it the more I wish dc hadn't retconned it so that Willis was a bad father, Jason's back story is very much centered around how poverty can negatively impact people and force good people to do bad things like obviously you have Jason who was desperate enough to try stealing the wheels off the batmobile but you also have Catherine who genuinely loved Jason despite not being his biological mum but was addicted to drugs and didnt have the money to get the resources she needed to get better so ended up dying, and then theres Willis who was implied to be a good dad who had to turn to crime since that was the only way he could make money to support his family not bc he actually wanted to do crime bc he had no other choice and ended up dying as a result, by retconning Willis into being a shit dad it kinda reinforces negative stereotypes about poor people that they're poor bc they're bad people and they only do crime bc they're bad not to mention Jason's shift from being a genuinely good happy kid into being the violent angry Robin I don't think any of it was intentionally done but still
I always saw Willis as being a man who genuinely loved Jason and was glad Jason existed, but was an alcoholic and while drunk was a bad father and husband. His story was similar to Catherine’s in how the addiction ruined his life, and potentially led to the poverty they suffered. I find stories like that far more compelling than “he was just a bad dad” because I agree with your point about stereotyping, it’s not true that poverty creates bad people or vice versa. His poverty could have been something he was born into but it could have also been a result of poor choices and once he was there he was forced to do things like turn to crime to feed his son and wife. Either way, it was not the reason he was a bad father.
format by @hamartia-grander
So true. Except Damien did something wrong. Do you not remember the number of times he has tried to kill his siblings or brought home increasing concerning animals.
Jason: I have good news and I have bad news… Which first? Batmom: Good news Jason: I won’t do it again
Bruce: Don't worry guys, I have a few kids up my sleeve.
Hal: Umm, don't you mean tricks?
Diana: He means kids.
Bruce *Jason, Dick, Tim, Damian, Duke, Cassandra, Stephanie, and Barbara appear behind him*: I mean kids.
Bonus
Dick: Um, I'm an adult.
Barbara: Yeah, same.
Jason: Not mentally but still.
Hey random question does any one else get an idea for a fix come up with the whole thing and then never write it. Because this feels like it happens weekly.
Why [tumblr] is the best form of social media
No relatives
Everyone is nice (except hate anons)
Clownverse
So many fandoms
No relatives
Fanfics my beloved
Cool friends
Did I mention no relatives?
McGrishas
...no relatives
Honoured to be on here
Thank goodness
NO RELATIVES!
Let us have fandoms in secret
And it is really really late but I was informed that I forgot to do do Babs and what she would say if her wisdom teeth got pulled so here's Babs.
She would probably start talking about how much she worries about her father and some of the things that the batbros have done over the years but she would be able to keep everyone's secret identity a secret.
What do you think would happen when the batfam gets their wisdom teeth pulled.
I can just imagine Damian saying he love his family but he knows that they hate him so hesitating not to get attached because that would be bad when they send him back his mother. Que Dick crying and taking a video of the whole thing and Damian getting lots of love from everyone for months till it just becomes natural and continues forever.
Then when tim has his pulled he starts talking in computer code which Babs enders into a computer and finds out that Tim has more secrets than anyone thought but being the good person she is she wipes her computer and than deletes and copies of the video that was taken.
Bruce would just complain about work and his children giving him gray hairs.
Jason epwould need to be knocked out because he would talk about his death and other related things.
Dick would defiantly start singing random songs at the top of his lungs while doing lots and lots of stunts till he scares Bruce too bad and he ends up being tied a chair for his safety but his brothers interrogate him about all his secrets but he doesn't even slip up about being rightwing.
Steph would also probably need to be knocked out otherwise she would start talking about this "cool mission" that they went on the other day.
Cass would be just fine she would go under and come out not saying a single word the family wouldn't try to interrogate her like they did with Dick for fear of their lives.
Duke would be another person to knock out
well I hope you liked my ramblings and feel free to write something for your own I like lots of ideas so here's one for you.
