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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
One Nice Bug Per Day
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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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Show & Tell
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Love Begins
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h
Jules of Nature
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@rediculouslylost-blog
Wanting To Come Out
I repeatedly look up lots of you tube videos each night stressing myself out about this decision to be transgender. I then at around 1am am so stressed and am so sure I’m going to tell someone I go running and run and run. When I’m out of breath pacing in front of my house I feel better and forget about why I ran, but the pattern doesn’t stop.
It feels like to me I’m just stopping the inevitable and will sooner or later come out. I’m so scared.
Was Dobby for Harry potter vbs this week and the kids all gave me socks XD
Gots meh retainer
Sewing ;)
Patience
do i even have The Capacity within me
To be patient?
i Accept that i may be inexperienced, uneducated, Or unwilling;
i can Tolerate a Delay of my life if it means less Trouble for others.
this is why when i understand that it’s either for me Or for others, that i endure this long Suffering, i will make a decision.
Getting caught inside becoming Angry is not my style.
i have come accustomed to time, Or come accustomed to everyone becoming Upset at my lack of understanding it.
and this; this is why I have patience.
if you don’t Define it!
The Fam isn't home till tomorrow, one more day of bliss XD
Parents aren't home trying on some clothes ;)
Couldn't sleep after relapsing :/ Guess I'll play some smash bros ;)
I couldn’t move. Not even an inch.
*Sitting here is exhausting. I’m stirring the spoon with the mush, or is it the other way around? Oh nothing even matters. I can’t fathom why anyone would want to eat this either I mean look at it! I know it tastes good and I know I’m hungry. I guess I’ll take a bite. I can’t do this. I can’t believe I’m so dead! Why do i feel this way?
I am going to take a bite. Okay Austin take the spoon and put it in your mouth. Okay take the spoon out of the mush, yes! Okay now up. Toward my mouth… wait i didn’t even move the spoon! Did I just trick myself into thinking I moved the spoon!? Well okay let’s get out of my head and take a bite; I just want to eat this fricken burrito thing! I give up I’m just going to sit here forever…*
-“Austin?”
“Oh sorry, I got distracted” *Aaagghghhh!! Life sucks!*
I forgot to wait.
This time what do I do…. What Do I Do, Do you know!?
My thumbs and brain keep working but I can’t feel.
An acceleration of the chest with frantic lunge capacity withdraw I have the jitters.
ADHD is just a symptom not the disease, and the disease itself spreads.
I’m in my head!
Let me out! let me out!
But if you did… you’d hear
“Shut the fuck up your life doesn’t suck because your wife has Cancer!”
“Don’t ridicule my disposition with intolerable behavior!”
“Get a life you hobo who’s meta is just an excuse to sound smart!”
“AND MAYBE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND I’M DIEING!!”
agh, umm, weird. I feel better.
In Two days
In two days I cried four times trying to understand people coming out about their sexuality. I then proceeded to find out about my sexuality through a youtube video which recommended if I was having thoughts about being transgender I should experiment with the opposite gender role. I’m excited for when mom and dad leave to try! I’ll go buy some nice girly clothes and wear make up XD.
I’m actually super excited so yeah :)
Close call
“Yeah it does make my lips sparkle!” I say to myself as I finish polishing with lipstick. I wink at myself in the mirror. After laying around for a bit, eating spaghetti, and watching Star Trek my bliss just has to be ruined. I hear a soft whoosh sound from downstairs and cock my head. “Oh shit!” swearing as the downstairs door opens. I’m in the bathroom scrubbing my face as who I can only assume is my brother is stomping around in the kitchen.
“Now that he’s gone” is echoed through the VERY empty house and I continue where I left off. Only this time I shave my face to get a more women like expression and pluck a little of my eyebrows. I rearrange all the furniture of my Mom’s room so I can use her makeup in peace. I hear a soft whoosh noise again, “God, please”. The front door opens “Fuck my life!”.
Wait.
I throw up, and I catch a key.
What a B-E-A-utiful thing. I know what it opens but I don’t know how it opens me.
A key, what exactly for?
To discover I open my heart of hearts and I find the truth.
I tried to play with them but they said no. I tried to be one of them, and again they said no.
So now I sit on lake superior’s shores never thinking of being anywhere else before. My pink and blue bracelet yelling at me in two ways, but I’m not listening. Clearly I’m looking at the sunset and I don’t want to be bothered because my soul is smiling.
The light from the sunset hits my eyes,
but I never once thought how much distance the beams undertook in such little time.
I know this is real; that one day I will walk down this road,
but right now my brain of brains tells me no.
Tells me to stop and crush the roses before the sweet smell becomes normal. And I walk out of my bedroom heading to church one morning in a sunflower seed dress and cute sandals.
Tells me that after 40g’s, family and friends, and a life time of commitment you can’t regret.
What if I regret?
So after following the light back to its home with my mind I shut the door and lock it.
But see I made a set foward. Myself and I picked another fight with he and him. After this time; after this adventure I decided to keep the key. Maybe I won’t use it for awhile, but I really do need patience for her, and I want to get her home, so I will have to wait.
So I now swallow it once again, until the future me throws up.
Wait.
I throw up, and I catch a key.
What a B-E-A-utiful thing. I know what it opens but I don’t know how it opens me.
A key, what exactly for?
To discover I open my heart of hearts and I find the truth.
I tried to play with them but they said no. I tried to be one of them, and again they said no.
So now I sit on lake superior’s shores never thinking of being anywhere else before. My pink and blue bracelet yelling at me in two ways, but I’m not listening. Clearly I’m looking at the sunset and I don’t want to be bothered because my soul is smiling.
The light from the sunset hits my eyes,
but I never once thought how much distance the beams undertook in such little time.
I know this is real; that one day I will walk down this road,
but right now my brain of brains tells me no.
Tells me to stop and crush the roses before the sweet smell becomes normal. And I walk out of my bedroom heading to church one morning in a sunflower seed dress and cute sandals.
Tells me that after 40g’s, family and friends, and a life time of commitment you can’t regret.
What if I regret?
So after following the light back to its home with my mind I shut the door and lock it.
But see I made a set foward. Myself and I picked another fight with he and him. After this time; after this adventure I decided to keep the key. Maybe I won’t use it for awhile, but I really do need patience for her, and I want to get her home, so I will have to wait.
So I now swallow it once again, until the future me throws up.
Close call
“Yeah it does make my lips sparkle!” I say to myself as I finish polishing with lipstick. I wink at myself in the mirror. After laying around for a bit, eating spaghetti, and watching Star Trek my bliss just has to be ruined. I hear a soft whoosh sound from downstairs and cock my head. “Oh shit!” swearing as the downstairs door opens. I’m in the bathroom scrubbing my face as who I can only assume is my brother is stomping around in the kitchen.
“Now that he’s gone” is echoed through the VERY empty house and I continue where I left off. Only this time I shave my face to get a more women like expression and pluck a little of my eyebrows. I rearrange all the furniture of my Mom’s room so I can use her makeup in peace. I hear a soft whoosh noise again, “God, please”. The front door opens “Fuck my life!”.
In Two days
In two days I cried four times trying to understand people coming out about their sexuality. I then proceeded to find out about my sexuality through a youtube video which recommended if I was having thoughts about being transgender I should experiment with the opposite gender role. I’m excited for when mom and dad leave to try! I’ll go buy some nice girly clothes and wear make up XD.
I’m actually super excited so yeah :)