Zettel | they/them | 30+ yo | Germany | Autism acceptance | Autism positivity Autism representation (though actually this blog is for all characters on the neurodiversity spectrum!) self-diagnosis friendly 🌈 queer-friendly 🌈 header by @frith-in-thorns
Many autistics are disabled by our autism, and there's no shame in that! We can be proud of being autistic and accept that it's a disability. "But doesn't that mean you're proud of being disabled?" Yes! And? I'm proud of who I am, and being disabled is part of who I am.
Happy Autism Acceptance Month! I'm thrilled to have something--many somethings, actually--to share for it. Thank you @autistic-character-month for providing me with an excuse to finally put these ideas on the page!
I've got twelve completed fics for this challenge (don't ask about the other eight that were planned! 😖). Most will consist of just one short, character or relationship-focused scene, meant to highlight an element of the autistic experience. I tried to stay true to both the characters and my own memories of being an autistic teen.
All these stories are for Young Dracula, and most are Robin-centric. To be honest, I don't consider Autistic!Robin to even be a headcanon. It fits too well. Nothing else can so perfectly explain the way he is.
Fandom: Young Dracula
Prompt: Special Interest
Rating: G
Word Count: 1k
Focal Character/s: Robin Branagh
‘—even though vampires can’t cross running water, they can fly over rivers, no problem. So, I’ve been wondering whether that’s due to being in bat form, or if it’s how high up they are that actually matters. Would a vampire bat drop out of the sky if it flew too low? Actually, would they drop out of the sky at all? Is it like hitting an invisible barrier, or is it just painful? Because, technically, they can’t go out into the sun either, but it doesn’t always turn them to dust—not so long as they’re only nicking out for a second. Or, maybe it’s a bit of both, and it does hurt to fly over water, they’re just so high up that it doesn’t hurt that bad—’
‘Enough of that, Robin,’ Elizabeth gently interrupts. She’s sat across from him in an armchair, a teacup and saucer in her hands. ‘Mum hasn’t seen you in months, I doubt she wants to spend the day hearing about vampire.’
Robin’s smile falters, brows knitting in confusion, like he can’t imagine what else anyone could possibly want to hear about. Heledd almost chastises her daughter, but Elizabeth continues:
‘Why don’t you tell her about your new friend?’
Like a switch flipped, Robin’s mood instantly brightens. ‘Oh, right! So, you know the castle on the hill, yeah?’ He nods his own head as he asks, as though trying to prompt Heledd, and leans in closer. ‘Last month, a family moved in from Transylvania. Like, actual Transylvania. They’re awesome! Vlad—he's my best mate, now—he’s the best. His dad ‘as this massive collection of antique books, including some real crackers on the occult—and I can flick through them any time I want. I thought the whole Transylvanian Vampire thing started with Dracula—obviously the modern fictional vampire came from The Vampyre by Polidori, but that bloke was British—but it turns out—’
He keeps talking, and Heledd nods along with a soft, fond smile. She would never admit it out loud—that wouldn’t be proper—but Robin is her favourite grandchild. That’s not to say she doesn’t love the others, of course she does, but there’s something special about him. Something that none of the others seem to have inherited.
When he talks about vampires, he becomes intensely expressive. He speaks loudly and quickly, with more elisions, as if the words are fighting to be the first out of his mouth. Not only do his hands gesture about wildly, but his entire upper body sways, and his head nods, and his knees bounce. His eyes are wide and bright, his face slightly flushed. He talks with his entire self.
And he has a lot to say.
When he talks like this, pressed close to her on the faded green couch of her Llangynidr cottage, she feels like a little girl again—her brother pressed to her side on the wooden bench on their family’s farm. She spent listening to him talk about Sherlock Holmes.
Emyr had known everything there was to know about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle—his life, his work, the intricate world of his characters. It unnerved the local children, especially in a village without a proper library. He’d drag her on trips where they would walk for close to an hour to the bus stop, then spend a couple more traveling, just to track down a particular book. Every new book by or about Doyle would be devoured front-to-back, repeatedly, until another joined his collection, though she was sure he had every word memorised in the first read. Sometimes she’d point to a book on his shelve and ask for the original publication date or where it was printed, just to marvel at the immediacy of his response. He was always happy to indulge her.
As the eldest, he hadn’t needed company to leave the village, and their parents hated when they disappeared together, leaving their farm work unfinished. But he disliked traveling alone, and Heledd was his favourite person to talk to. He was her favourite person in general. She saw a bit of herself in Chloe, in that regard.
‘Robin,’ Elizabeth starts, a note of exasperation in her tone.
‘Hush,’ Heledd chides, ‘let the boy speak. I don’t mind. I used to let your uncle talk my ear off in much the same way.’
Elizabeth shakes her head, but there’s a fondness to it. ‘Uncle Emyr certainly had his quirks.’
‘And they run in the family, now, don’t they?’
‘Uncle Emyr?’ Robin asks.
Elizabeth leans forward to refill her teacup. Robin follows the movement and picks up his own drink, which has been sitting untouched on the coffee table for the past half-hour.
‘You wouldn’t remember my uncle, you were far too young when he passed. Mum has a photo beside the front door is of him holding you on your first birthday,’ her voice turns wistful.
Robin looks pensively towards the entryway, though there’s a cabinet blocking his view. ‘You mean that old bloke with the crazy hair?’
‘Eistein hair,’ Elizabeth laughs. ‘He was an odd man, but so kind—and always up for a good chat!’
‘That he was.’ Heledd sighs. ‘It’s nice to see that the best of him lives on.’ She rests her hand on Robin’s cheek and runs her thumb over his freckles—another thing he inherited from her side. ‘There’s nothing wrong with having passion, dear. Don’t let your mother discourage you.’
‘Mum,’ her daughter huffs, ‘I’m not being discouraging. It’s always so long between visits, and dad will be back with the rest of the brood soon. I’d hate for Robin to get side-track and feel like he wasted the trip.’
Heledd shakes her head. ‘Sharing the things you love, with the people you love, is never a waste.’
Robin smiles. ‘Thanks, nan.’
‘No need, dear. Now, tell me, have you ever read Sherlock Holmes? I’ve got a well-loved collection in need of a new home.’
Finally, I can show my art for Autism acceptance month! But regardless of what day or month it is, i want everyone to know that you deserve to be accepted, understood, and loved unconditionally for who you are! my page will always be a safe space for all neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ ppl!
Happy Autism Acceptance Month to my fellow autistic allies. As someone who has Autism as well. Here's a few of my favorite autistic or autistic coded characters that I see some or a lot of myself in.
I've been celebrating Autism Acceptance Month the entire time I've been making this comic, and this is the first year it's felt that there's been a noticeable step back. I've had to delete more hateful comments lately. I've had to block more people lately. More and more, I feel like I'm throwing my work at a brick wall.
It feels like fighting a losing battle, and it's burning me out, but I'm going to keep going. Autistic voices deserve to be heard, and I refuse to be quiet. I may not advocate in the same ways as others, I don't have the confidence or assertion to face people head on, but I'm doing what I can. I'm doing what I'm good at.
My hope is that my little comics continue to entertain and help people. To show people the autistic experience. I call my comic Autie-Biographical because I see it as an autistic biography. An autobiographical view of our autistic experience. Not just mine, OURS. May things get better, but until then, let's fight to make our voices heard.
April 2nd is also autism awareness day! Plus the first week of April is autism awareness week. Though personally, I'd rather replace "awareness" with "acceptance" because everyone is plenty aware, but society as a whole needs to be more accepting of autistic people!
Anyways, here's a little infographic(?) on why you should show acceptance instead of awareness:
I need all of autism tumblr to know about german artist and writer Daniela Schreiter aka Fuchskind (foxchild) who draws wonderful comics about her experience as a person with autism. Most stuff is in german but "Schattenspringer" aka "The World beyond my Shadow" is also available in english. It is about her childhood and youth, and i cannot recommend it enough! The pictutes, the humour, the insight!
If you can, grab a copy! Or get your library to buy one!
And if you understand some german, get her other books as well!
Autistic burnout recovery can be a long process. Some people never fully recover. Mitigation of stressors and sensory triggers is vital, as is recovery, unmasking etc.
Practical, neurodivergent-affirming tools to recognise, navigate, and recover from autistic burnout. Free downloads, checklists, and expert
Ok, I’m not the best person to be saying this, but the reason half of y’all* hate the new autistic Barbie doll is just aspie supremacy and racism.
Like, “oh no! For once a higher support needs, AAC using, autistic woman of colour is in the spotlight! God help us all!” (Sarcasm)
Seriously, the whole argument about how the doll sucks because autism “doesn’t have a look” is foolish. Autism does have a look, but it’s not one single look. Many high support needs individuals are visibly autistic, stop erasing their existence.
I’m not going into the racism part, because I’m still in the process of educating myself about the topic, but needless to say, I’ve seen some pretty outright racist comments and takes on this new doll.
*not all of you, but many of you.
(Capitalism and the whole deal with Mattel is a valid reason to not like the doll, however this post is not about that.)
The new doll carries a pink fidget spinner that actually spins, wears pink noise-canceling headphones to reduce sensory overload, and holds
For once, this Barbie was developed in cooperation with Mikko and Precious Hill (Black autistic daughter and her autistic mum) and ASAN. Second, as long as capitalism exists I think it's actually good to have disability representation in popular items like Barbie.
“It is so important for young autistic people to see authentic, joyful representations of themselves, and that’s exactly what this doll is,” Colin Killick, executive director of the Autistic Self Advocacy Network, said in a news release. “Partnering with Barbie allowed us to share insights and guidance throughout the design process to ensure the doll fully represents and celebrates the autistic community, including the tools that help us be independent.”
Another aspect that I see as very positive is that this Barbie breaks with the stereotype of "autistic white boy". So much autistic representation is about white boys, while on the other hand autistic girls and People of Colour are both underrepresented and underdiagnosed. So I sincerely hope this Barbie does a change for more diversity when it comes to autism.
Lastly, this doll comes at a point of growing stigmata of autism (see US gov health secretary's statements and policies) and maybe a Barbie can be a tiny counterpoint to that!? A toy from smaller company surely couldn't.
Sometimes, it also means that you're so much invested in The Thing™️ (aka the special interest) that it's kinda bothering you but you also cannot for your life stop interacting with it.
And you're stil possibly not an expert about this topic even then.
I’m pro self diagnosing because it’s hard getting a diagnosis now. It costs money and it can be hard getting a professional in the first place. Here’s some things that I believe are validate.
There can also be significant legal consequences to having an official autism diagnosis on your record. Most countries will not allow you to immigrate if you have an official autism diagnosis (amongst others), there are an increasing number of national laws targeting autistics, not to mention the US autism registry that RFK wants to create, and lots of states have their own compulsory autism registry. So there are plenty of barriers to even being safe to seek an autism diagnosis, on top of the barriers for getting one.
I’m pro because when I finally got approved by insurance and got in for evaluation, not only was the evaluator super dismissive and the whole experience very uncomfortable, but at the end she said “there’s definitely something wrong with you, but I wouldn’t say it’s autism. That’s being a bit dramatic. The farthest I’d go would be Asperger’s” which hasn’t been a separate diagnosis since 2013. Over 7 years ago at the time of my assessment.
@sprinkleofquirk and everyone else: there's nothing wrong with you if you're autistic! <3
I have made one post here about self diagnosis (a repost mostly) which is kinda "famous" and of course it's still my opinion. If you document traits since childhood and over certain recent months, do a thorough research, evaluate yourself multiply then your self diagnosis is valid! But if someone for example brings up autism once in a conversation with you and you do one single test after that, it's probably not an actual diagnosis.
When I was first questioned by my therapist as to whether I thought I might be autistic, I was like "phft! No! I just have anxiety. Crippling anxiety but I have systems in place so I can appear perfectly normal. That system is assuming everyone feels like this, and copious amounts of alcohol."
No surprise that this was not sustainable and I eventually researched (after my therapist questioned me multiple times) and I was like "fine. I'll get assessed."
My assessor looked at me at the end of the 3 hour long session and said "your autism negatively impacts every aspect of your life. You need to focus on good coping skills."
Post-diagnosis, I was left realising that she was right. I had no system in place. I no longer was drinking, and I was slowly coming to terms with the fact that no one else around me suffered through their day-to-day life.
And that's very important to come to terms with. Because admitting that I was disabled felt wrong. I wasn't disabled! I spent 36 years...coping.
And that's what helped me come to terms with everything. My "coping skills" were basically tactics to either numb the pain or get through something with as little mental anguish as possible.
Every autistic person that was ever told in the 2010s that literally anything about them is similar to Sheldon Cooper deserves financial compensation btw
The never-ending special interest: You've been passionate about this for years, you may not even remember how this one started. Regardless, this is something you'll love forever.
The recurring special interest: It comes and goes, often seemingly randomly.
The special interest of the week: You're passionate about something for a week until something else takes over. Can also be a recurring special interest.
The secret special interest: Something you love but tell nobody about. But you may talk about it online anonymously.
The special interest that's your entire personality: Most people you know will associate you with your love for this thing.