â Weâre not going to get fired⊠because weâve already been fired. â
â I will come down on this place like the hammer of Thor! The thunder of my vengeance will echo through these corridors like the gusts of a thousand winds! âÂ
â I wanted to apologize about, um, snapping earlier today with words at you guys, and then I came here to make an apology⊠apology words. âÂ
â Theyâre my tools!! I GOTTA HAVE MY TOOLS!! â
â You know, I love the dark, I love slippery things, I love being naked in the sewer. â
â I went from a tiny twink to the muscle-bound freak you see before you. â
â Did you fuck my mom, Santa?! Did you fuck her?! Did you fuck my fucking mom?! â
â If you shush me one more time, I will put you in the ground! â
â You treat me like a dumb-dumb and a grunt, and I have potential, you know? â
â Only when you are clean will you know my power. â
â I do backflips every single day of my life. â
â I am going to smack everyone into tiny little pieces. â
â You havenât thought of the smell, you bitch! â
â Weâre crab people now. Weâll live and die by the crab! â
â I swear youâd be of more use to me if I skinned you and turned your skin into a lampshade. â
â When I show up to work, everybodyâll be like âwhy is there blood all over you?â âCAUSE I HAD TO SLIT THE GUYâS THROAT WHO CAUSES ALL THE TRAFFIC! â
â We canât talk about snakes or smells? What else is there? â
â Iâm not wearing these because Iâm comfortable, Iâm wearing these âcause I wanna turn you on! â
â Me trash. â
â I feel guilty all the time for all my thoughts and urges, but Iâm not gonna talk to a therapist thatâs gonna, like, make me deal with it or confront my feelings. â Â Â
â See that door right there, the one marked Pirate? You think a pirate lives in there? â
â IâM A FIVE STAR MAN! â
â Was I a person of interest? Yeah, I am an interesting person. â
â You saw me eat that Hot Pocket I found in the garbage? â Â
â Although I seem relaxed, Iâm actually incredibly tense at all times. â
â I donât have a bucket list, dude, âcause Iâm not dying. â
â [Name] is asshole, why [Other Name] hate? BECAUSE [Name] IS A BASTARD MAN! â
â I do not like it with the skin! Iâm not allowed to eat with the skin! Iâm not allowed!! â
â You have candy coming out of your pockets! â
â I donât have online, though. I donât do, like, the emails. â
â What is your spaghetti policy here? â
â Talking to myself, but thatâs just cause I, you know⊠Iâve got shit to say, you know? â
â I wanna get that âJesus on the crossâ look. Jesus had, like, the best abs. â
â My life is a lie! Somebodyâs gonna get stabbed! â
â Are you like⊠um⊠my dad? Are you the father of me and shit? â
â Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time? â
â I am a casual millionaire from Texas. â
â [Name], we sleep ass to ass. You know that. â
â Look, that crow was injured, and I was simply putting it out of its misery. While, yes, testing the tensile strength of a crowâs neck. â
â I know a lot about the law and various other lawyerings. â
â Excuse me, thereâs a guy crawling out of your floor. â
â You can do it, [Name]⊠because youâre a winner, you havenât peaked. You havenât even begun to peak but youâre going to peak today. Oh, youâre going to peak all over everybody. Make it work, [Name]. Make it work! â