The Lines

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[reed-between-the-lines]

2 > 6

Set... Reminder Timer Expectations Example Date Table Try to set, predict and control all you want, doll. It will happen when it is meant to happen anyway. And there isn’t much you can do about it. And sometimes 2 months is longer than 6, and a lifetime isn’t enough to learn and experience all the things you’d like to. But, try anyway. - “Remind me...” He said - “I’ll make sure you never forget” She thought.

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Full Circle (Excerpts)

“Your friend has a very ‘Potter’ vibe to him” I said.

We built bridges and burned old ones in our minds and hearts.

Kind moments; camping, tomato soups with chickpeas and lentils, a grilled onion I never had, building strength and stamina, beautiful conversations, catching up on sleep, letters and poems, and effortless serenity.

Then that weekend we’d been building up to arrived. The first weekend of November. Our costumes, makeup and routine ready. Our spirits also ready.

I’d spend my afternoon fighting off an anxiety attack induced by the huge pot of coffee I’d had and the excitement for what was to come. That afternoon, all I saw, all I heard and all I felt was a stunning handsome historic warrior prince. And I am so very thankful for you. Take two: Walking towards the music after learning your features through face paint to the most appropriate playlist imaginable. Attempting not to get lost, mallet in hand, the laugh you’d been practicing and does so well echoing on the island and making the weak at heart tremble… effortlessly one and gloriously two. Mischievously invincible. “You show 'em babyyyyy” He yelled. Drew a huge smile on my face.

I would tell you that throughout the evening. You are magic. Chivalry isn’t dead. And historic warrior princes are real.

The way you recharge me, also very real. More than I knew, more than I could ever ask for, every time, without fail. Calming myself not numbing. This is something I’ll need to look into some more...

“OMG, is this acrylic paint that I’ve put on your face ever going to come off” we were already well into the night, and though some of it had melted it was still holding strong… The waterproof lipstick was also holding strong… I apologized in advance.

We laughed until our stomachs collapsed, dug until we reached the other side of the planet, laughed some more, and there is a lollypop stick that was witness to the triumph.

We lay on the sand and talked about the night sky. A journey into the glittering heaven and into our minds and souls.

Reality checks aren’t always as somber or sad as people perceive them to be. Sometimes they are a lesson well learned and a moment fully lived. That looking back at it makes us smile or laugh, even if it hurt at the time. But it too has passed. And that is a cause for joy. 

If we had anymore night left, we would have journeyed further and wider into the stellar beauty. We saw what we needed to see, what we wanted to see and talked through it together. 

I can’t think of anything as magnificent and healing as flow at sunrise. You caught my gaze and stood in front of me in your joker face paint as I began to flow. I’m still not entirely sure if you took me on that universal journey throughout my movement or if you just accompanied me as I went through my own. Either way, my heart was full, my mind empty and all I saw and felt was you in that melted Joker face paint and the violet sunrise sky, a backdrop to this frame. I was more than I’d ever been before at once… And you were there.

I think that must’ve been the longest sunrise I’d ever seen.

Artwork by @acronewoffical on Instagram

[reed-between-the-lines]

5 Years 1 Months & 20 Days

That’s how long it’s been since the last time I published anything on the blog.

I never felt like I stopped writing, not really anyway. The fragments of notes I leave around on post-its, notepads and in digital format have been “writing” in a way.

The stories and the learnings have been writing themselves in my head this whole time. Perhaps it’s time to get back to sharing snippets of those here.

Looking at my very first Webs blog - which I finally got around to cleaning up, I realized that the path is now a lot clearer than it was in 2011. The thoughts more structured and the feelings more coherent.

The format will be short and concise in this next stage. A sneak peak into my attempt to make sense of the shared human experience and the colorful ways people express it.

See you soon Reader x

Ps. Time is an illusion

How many days ago… 1,876 days How many weeks ago… 268 weeks How many months ago… 61 months How many hours ago… 45,024 hours How many minutes ago… 270,1440 minutes How many seconds ago… 162,086,400 seconds

[reed-between-the-lines]

Shadow Man

He swept in and out like he never even existed. For a little less than a second, he was no less than perfection embodied in skin, bones and 'general human fibers'.

We spoke of love, art, peace of mind, delicious food, journeys, families, past, present and future times...

A safe haven making one feel encompassed by everything genuine and familiar... Yet, like shadow men often do, he was gone come the hot, blistering, vertical sunlight.

Leaving me in search of something familiar and afraid of finding it all at once. Terrified, though trying to calm myself, of my favorite feelings, I will get by with a little help from my friends... And a sand storm of busy affairs, some trivial, some more significant, that overwhelm my hours, days, and weeks to keep my mind off that shadow man.

Some of us don’t get older with time, shadow men who never really exist, never really get old either... We wish them happy birthdays and all the best. Yet, they cease to exist. They do not need spaces to occupy, hearts to connect with, or minds to understand them. All they need is the lazy afternoon sun, a dear pet for a companion, and a world of wonder to keep them amused and entertained... until the vertical sun strikes again.

I have never met a shadow man before, and therefore don't really understand shadow men. Hard as I try, their existence, or lack thereof,  will probably remain a mystery to me forever. And I have made my peace with that.

We miss them sometimes, and wish they were as real as we imagined them to be other times, but the fact remains; there is no room for shadow men in the lives of those who cherish everything sacred in our mortal existence.

Thanks for the talks, the laughs, and the good times. And the traces of your shadow left in the places we have been, the words that were said, that all too familiar street, and the cigarette buds in the ashtray, will all soon fade away and become a surreal thing of the past... That may or may have not existed... Much like yourself.

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Tightrope Walkers

After a very interesting conversation with a colleague yesterday, I felt my mind take a Smint ... Though I generally appreciate the genuine bond often created between people, I found this discussion and exchange of ideas to be most refreshing. We spoke of many things, but my wise friend had plenty to say about "putting on a show". Aren't we all "circus performers" in one way or another at the end of the day? Leave aside our differences and egos. We may not like it for most part. But it doesn't change the fact that we, as social animals, play one role or another in the bigger show that takes place every day... At the workplace, with our friends, families, and loved ones... We aim for high quality performances. Portraying ourselves in ways that may or may not reflect our true selves. The harsh reality strikes us sometimes... Despite the amazing people we may be deep down, sometimes we are bound by the game and its rules and feel an unexplainable need to razzle dazzle 'em with our "performances".

We are all a bunch of tightrope walkers, jugglers, and fire breathing circus performers. 

[reed-between-the-lines]

Lost Perspective

Not long ago, in a land not so far away, there lived humans who were so wonderful, kind, warm, creative, intelligent, interesting… and so much more.

Some with their original parts, others modified. Some realistic, others surreal in their passions and expectations.

They had one thing in common though. They were all afraid of something. At least one thing that scared them the most.

A lot can change when we weigh the objective against the subjective ‘truths’. Human beings claim to love ‘truth’… along with honesty, transparency, and genuineness… and all the other wonderful things associated with ‘the truth’, yet it scares them.

So much, in fact, that they lose perspective on what matters most sometimes.

We all crave some tangible goodness every once in a while. And even the most generous and loving of us need to be shown generosity and love sometimes. As a matter of fact, they may even value it more.

Those who have known loss in their lives have a clearer perspective I guess. Does suffering then make us better human beings? more empathetic, maybe? less selfish? or just unlocks our hearts to unleash a whole new capacity for love we never knew we had?

The incoherence of this post is disturbing to me. It made perfect sense as I was typing it. However, looking at it again, and trying to put myself in the shoes of someone who can’t pop the hood and look inside my head… I feel like I owe someone somewhere out there an apology for not making much sense. 

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"We are complete within ourselves yet incomplete without each other" - Thistle Von Odin

Pretty accurate I'd say... 

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Magical Transformation

The extraordinary nature of the ordinary human condition turns people into fools. I, for one, refuse to be taken for a fool, but paradoxically get a form of satisfaction from knowing about my foolish heart, foolish thoughts, and ultimately my foolish ways. I'm fairly certain that the degree of nonchalance I am capable of achieving is higher than that of the average person. Still, negative foolishness isn't tolerated. Openly stating your negative qualities, your vices, and your nastiness does not magically make everything ok, and transform you into a tolerable, confident, or mature person. Nor does it imply that you are liberated, free spirited, open minded, or "cool". -end of rant-

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Dialogue: Darkness Past Midnight

... At that point I said: Hey, just take it easy, calm down, relax, you are overreacting.

And he said: No, she must die. In fact, I ought to drag her by her hair to hell myself... 

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Hi there, im getting straight in, in Syria, as u know, we have an extra giant load of ignorance and reaction. While we, the so called "educated", are demanding our rights and seeking freedom against tyranny, there is a non-negligeable percentage of people who demand somethings like khilafe and shari'a. A true Democracy is the way to exercise some of our civil rights ! my question is, how would you apply that on these people? How would i let a person who cant even read, decide the form of state ?

Dear Reader,That is a very good question. And even though I am no political analyst, or high level scholar, I will still try and answer it to my best knowledge and understanding of the situation.You are right in that high levels of ignorance are the backbone of tyranny and corruption, among other things of course. And while the "educated" may have a better "educated" guess on the most suitable form of state that would secure their civil rights and duties. It is still important to approach this from a non-elitest perspective.That is to say, the "educated" among the people ought to be able to lead by example, show the ignorant, "uneducated", and impoverished masses the true importance of becoming more aware of the true underlying meanings of a dictatorship, or Khilafa under Sharia' law for that matter.Though this may seem unattainable at the moment perhaps. But in time it's very important to empathize with the "uneducated", ignorant masses, if you will... And understand the sense of security and stability that they associate with a dictatorship or a khilafa, and demonstrate, through action, the alternative peace, stability, and prosperity that is possible through the formation of a civil society.It is crucial that the "educated" do not act as mass monarch on the "uneducated" peasants.Not everyone is capable of elaborate critical thinking and envisioning a future from something that is unknown to them... or even worse... something associated with Westernization, lucid morals, and/or consumerism.At the end of the day whichever 'side' anyone choses is to serve their own interests.So perhaps if it is possible to see eye to eye on the interests of Syrian people as a whole. And to realize that the fulfillment of the interests of one side need not be on the expense of another. Maybe then it would be easier to communicate with the "educated" and "uneducated" masses alike.Finally, one last thing that I feel even fewer number of the "educated" are aware of, is the responsibility that comes with freedom, democracy, and a civil society.Thanks for your question Reader, I hope that was helpful.Feel free to follow up : ) 

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Indifference

Is the only thing more evidently hurtful than back stabbing, humiliation, disrespect, and dishonesty. Passion has an awkward way of creating genius. One could only presume that those who made brilliant art, music, and literature, were all very passionate about what they did. Often times, passion can be mistaken for plain old foolishness. Nothing against the foolish, I am a fool myself more often times than not. Some of the closest and dearest people to my heart are the biggest of fools. However, a clear distinction ought to be made between foolish genius and passionate genius. The ability to create is not one that all are blessed with. And even to those blessed with this superpower, creating something special, meaningful, and worthwhile, doesn’t occur too often. A few years back I stayed up the whole night working on a cardboard cube with a friend who was in the foundation year of the architecture program at university. We stayed up all night trying to cut straight lines in that stubborn cardboard. Fixing and gluing the pieces together, making sure that the craftsmanship of that cube was impeccable. I wasn’t in that class, nor was that my major either. But after all the hard work I’d put into it I was curious to know what the instructor would have to say about what I thought was PERFECTION. To my surprise, he tossed it to the floor, where it shattered and he said: “it was ok... don’t get too attached to your work…” I was in awe at what had become of the masterpiece we stayed up all night working on perfecting. More so at the cold and cruel feedback we received.

I learned a very valuable lesson that day, one that translated into many other areas of my life out of academia, one that I seem to have forgotten of late.

No matter how hard you work on yourself or on something you love… whether it is out of passion or foolishness, never get too attached to a point that you lose perspective.

To be able to survive in a world full of “Shades of Grey” –intended-, one needs to learn not to get too attached to things, feelings, and even people we love.

It’s easier said than done, I know. And it takes a transcendent soul to know where to draw the line.

Have your own back and believe in yourself, no one else and nothing else will do it better than you. And if you make something so wonderful once, you could always do it again, perhaps even better. Acquire the skill of maintaining objectivity, positivity and critical analysis in your perspective on anything and everything.

Transcend. 

[reed-between-the-lines]

The Light Makes Me Happy

Words hurt. And that is mainly why I have been holding back. That along with the uncertainty of a situation, or a few... The mundane existence of doing what we have to, with the hopes that it will one day lead to what we want. An unknown. Riddled with unanswered questions. We could reconcile, and make up... with ourselves mostly, but there is still a void. Not the existential type of void, though it may seem like it. This is an odd type of void. A comfortable one. Doesn't creep in or sneak up on us. Doesn't hide beneath insecurities, only to surprise us all too often. Just rests within every waking moment. Stays there like that is where it belongs. I stare at schedules, deadlines, chores, and errands... Leading nowhere and accounting to nothing. A shared bond with a friend, or a few... may ease it up for a little while. Perhaps cover it up, even just for a moment. But it remains. How do we decide when we have reached the end? when we have had enough? and when the time has come to pack up and leave and start anew? I am a coward. Envious of those who are able to battle through their hardships, because I always opt for the easy way out. I pack up, and walk away. Perhaps it's simpler when no ties are strong enough, no memory is worthy enough, no place is home enough, and no  walls have been broken down which cannot be rebuilt. I have not been demolished. Disconnect, desensitize, and drift away wherever the wind may take me. Not the free spirited kind of drift. The rootless weed kind of drift. People, like things, memories and such... Only have the value which we give them. I value nothing. Not in a cool, nonchalant, brave, independent, or strong, kind of way... Just in that I have learned my lesson kind of way. Not a very difficult lesson to learn even. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell that no matter what, life will go on. Purposeless, yes. Meaningless, perhaps. But will sure go on nevertheless. And all those people, things, memories and such are forgotten. They become a part of who we are. We won't even bother tracing the history of those parts or where they came from. We just carry them along our journey, not certain if they will ever come in handy. But they're just there... Just incase. I remain silent, starring blankly at the screen. Waiting for the sun to come up, just to remind me that the light still makes me happy.

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There were people. There were. No more. Will it ever be the same?! most probably not. But if I say it was not good while it lasted, I would be lying. The blessing that comes with the realization that you have evolved. You have become more of a person. You mean more to you. Complexities… many of...

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Florets of A Dandelion

As we proceed in our daily lives, and face all sorts of good and bad things that come our way everyday, we often just stop to wonder: "What am I really doing? Where am I going with my life? Is it really what I want? Is it really worth it?" Questions familiar to all of us, one way or another. When people lash out, act out, go crazy, or live too spontaneously, others try to rationalize it by putting a label of some sort on it. Such labels like 'Puppy Love', 'Midlife Crisis', and others...  are not put in place for criticism as much as they are there for others to try and understand what one is going through. But what if what one is going through cannot be explained, understood, or labeled in any way? What then? Believing, generally, does not require explanation. It is a work of the heart, not the mind. Unlike understanding, believing is not something that you can teach others. It comes from within you. A very deep, comfortable, private, place within you. In that sanctuary within me, I have come to believe that I am but one of the florets of a dandelion. A very specific dandelion at that. One that included, what in my opinion were, the most magnificent florets of a dandelion that ever existed. When that dandelion first opened up and saw the sunlight, the florets moved simultaneously with every breeze. You could say they shared a lot, and grew together. Then when the winds of change blew, the florets took flight. And each went it's own way. Some florets have landed on the ground, became seeds themselves, and sprouted new dandelion flowers in their own image. Others have decided to follow certain winds. Stay afloat on the comfort of knowing where the wind is going to blow. Myself, I'm still gliding. I wouldn't say aimlessly... But still gliding nevertheless. Haven't found winds I want to follow. Haven't found soils I want to settle on, or in.  Instead, it appears that I have found another gliding floret. One that is also in search of a 'destiny' like myself. A companion on my journey in search of my 'forever after'. Still, I always miss that dandelion I grew up on. The other florets I grew beside. And the way we used to dance in unison to the cool, soft breezes of spring time. 

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Familiar Faces

The unspoken, unrecognized comfort that comes from being surrounded by familiar faces is often undervalued. Since the changes; both planned and unplanned, have taken effect in my life, I found myself seeing familiar faces on complete strangers. I see in those strangers family, friends, and people I used to know by features alone. I wonder if that means I miss those people; even the ones I hardly knew. Or if it is simply my brain's way of adjusting to the stream of new frontiers and individuals that keeps coming my way. I often get the urge to go over to those people, those who look like the ones I knew before the changes took place, and just greet them, wave at them... or just give them a friendly look. How creepy would that be... If a complete strangers looks at you, not just as a stranger, but as though they know you... and have known you for years. Change is the only inevitable, dynamic factor of my current state. Not too long ago, I would have probably thought of this rather differently. But now I have no interest in meeting those familiar strangers I do not know. They will never replace their 'originals'. And though I cannot pin point exactly who, or what, it is I miss. But I still miss someone. 

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Teach Us to Hate

In a self-interested world, your power is defined by the amount of interests you have met. Your personal interests. Often times it is justifiable to go after what you want, and strive for what you deserve, no matter the cost. Top dog... Whoever decided that mankind ought to be compared to dogs? Dogs are more faithful, self-less, and loving if you ask me... In a time where charismatic leaders and spokesmen rally the masses to their own causes. Stand for what you believe in... But be aware that you are not being fed what to believe and what to disbelieve. There is a very fine line between truth and lie... And an even more blurred, finer line, between 'truth & actual fact'. Though, very few of us have attained a balance between thought and behavior. Most people, myself included, still find ourselves at a crossroads all too often. And we make our life decisions based on educated guesses for most part. Rarely do we ever decide something based on facts. And biases exist, and we can never attain the absolute truth, my truth and your truth may differ vastly, but we could both argue their validity as 'truth'. A war is fought for many reasons. Strategies are made, and battles are won and lost every day. Attribute it to whatever you may, most of the time it is nothing but dumb, blind luck. You could believe in Karma, in a mechanism that ensures you get what you deserve, rewards for the good you have done, and punishments for those who have wronged you. A heaven and a hell, man made concepts of those. I am not an Atheist, though I have nothing against them. Why is it so difficult for human beings to wrap their heads around the idea that not everything that is different from us is automatically 'bad', 'evil', or out to get us...  Civil society should not be a jungle. Human beings ought to be more self aware before being aware of each other's schemes and interests. Reflect. Meditate. Observe. Analyze. Live like a hippy? Perhaps... not exactly. But if you do not know how, if you do not have the capacity, then train yourself, and learn... It is never too late to learn tolerance, respect, and love. Open up your mind and don't be too rigid about your 'truths'. They are not absolute. And the only constant in this world is change... Embrace it, and grow within it. Don't fight it. No matter which faith, sect, dogma, or belief you choose, do not ever let anybody teach you how to hate. Actions and words resulting from hatred, only bring about more hatred. Be rational, not rash. And always keep an open mind.