Theon/Reek

roddypiper.straw.page congratulations! you found my second blog @theprophecyofroddymcdirrin is my first blog

[reekinator]

I wait for the day when I won't be the copier friend. I wait for the day I won't be a stalker. I tried to make myself fat like Carlos and ended up vomiting from eating too much. (Recently, the Carlos thing was recently) I tried to make myself like Karah (my ex) by ⭐ving myself and talking too much and I just ended up looking like a fool in public. She has ADHD and back then I didn't know copying a neurodivergent person like that was wrong. I was inside of a cave. A literal cave. It was an educational tour of a cave, and I looked like an idiot trying to talk as much as the tour guide did, but I know that's what my beloved at the time would've done.

[reekinator]

Tried to be a fatass and eat a bunch of food yesterday and it did not go well I ended up vomiting (but I didn't vomit a lot of it though) I just woke up in the middle of the night and puked long after I ate it

[reekinator]

I think if I was a year I would be 2020 or 2021. I literally still wear 2020-like boots, plaid skirts, and I want to be fat and everyone was so much more accepting towards fat people back then. I am also really incredibly crusty and I reek just like everyone in 2020. I am chronically online too.

Yeah I like to stink and be a fatass and I am indeed happy to look a mess.

[reekinator]

You know how I said I was gonna eat a bunch of food? Yeah I guess that's not gonna happen. I'm too poor to afford food literally. I don't get donations anymore. Of course all I can think of is my beautiful Carlos and how his situation measures up to mine. Did his abusive stepdad ever starve him because he's a a fatass? I'm not even a fatass what did I do to deserve this!

"b-but reek you probably are a a fatass you just FEEL insecure about being SKINNY" SHUSH!!!

"your mom just knows you're fat and won't buy uou food!" DOUBLE SHUSH!!!

HELP-

[reekinator]

I rant about fat people again:

So why is it when I want to be fat, it's so wrong?

I know, I know, I feel like I'm weird for just being casual about wanting to be fat it's not like my only dream or anything. Idk why I've just always wanted to devour a bunch of food as a coping mechanism because I can't have a GOOD TRAUMA RESPONSE like what my friend has (he has friendly people in his head!). What i really want is that honestly. But instead I just want to be fat because sugar makes my pea brain happy. And it makes me more like him. Can you tell I'm weird about wanting to be Carlos.

[livestockprincess]

i love when people count my calories, make before and afters, and talk about me like i’m a fat experiment. like my identity is more centered around my fat than being a human person. talk about me while i’m right in front of you as if i’m not. i’m too dumb to be addressed. nothing gives me more satisfaction than feeling like an object, an animal, a set of holes that grows larger by the day

[merlinsbeard69]

another sketch of joffrey. im not too satisfied with the result bc he doesnt completely look evil 🫩 just slaying with his full lips

[harrythepiggy]

some might say i got fat

[boys-just-want-to-get-fat]

More and more people are going for the full look.

[soup-in-my-fly]

Punching bag…

[reekinator]

TW THIS IS HIGHLY DISTURBING

When I was in his room covered in blood, I was in a lot of pain from him torturing me I was curled up in a ball in fact. He gave me drugs when he did this but it still was horrible. I was like this for a few days before being driven back to my house like a sad sack of potatoes. It was September 21st 2020 when I got out. I remember one minute I was cuddling onto him like an idiot and then I passed out. It hurt so bad to move. I wanted him so bad though. My areas are also destroyed so I can't have kids. He still gets to have a kid though.

When I was scared I would think about... Cuddling with him and it made me feel so...comforted and safe? Which was odd considering what he did to me. Cuddling still feels nice no matter who it's with. For me it made me feel comfort and love despite what he did. I would cuddle him just so it felt like he romantically loved me and it felt good. I hate cuddling during sex though, as that's how all of this started. Even though that made me like the sex more. But i just wanted it to be romantic and not sexual.

[reekinator]

Reek looking elderly and having white hair after being abused by Ramsay. Ramsay literally stole his youth from him. This of course reminds me of my life, I was a teenager but i still acted immature and Edward just completely stole it from me. I still acted like a kid when he did that to me.

Ramsay stole his youth from him and that is such good writing.

Also him being named Reek also hits hard because when you're abused you don't like to be naked so you don't even shower.

[reekinator]

I just read chapter 3 and 4 of carlos's abomination of a fic. (One character is an adult but does childish things like work at a toy store and eat happy meals and the other is a depressed middle aged adult) IS THIS PLAY ABOUT US

[one-eyedqueer]

ramsay bolton and theon greyjoy sketches

[reekinator]

People don't understand. I just want to help my older friend. I have to save him from his abusive home, it is like one of my only reasons to live. He gives me a reason to do something with my life and stop being a loser. Which helps the both of us. I exist to be a caregiver to fragile old men.

He has a criminal record from fighting back against abuse and can't even get a job at McDonald's. I would improve my situation and become less of a loser just to buy him things.

It's like I can only be a good person when I'm with Carlos.

[johnthegainer2]

The mirror reminds me everyday that I’m almost 500 pounds .

it’s imminent …

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[reekinator]

Some people just want to hate on gay men for being adults and having bodily autonomy. If people wanted to understand me then they would understand that my experience with abuse causes me to like older fat men. People just want to hate on gay men.

[reekinator]

Everyone crapping their pants because I talk to a 40 year old man. I am a grown ass man too and can talk to whoever I want to! I hate being babied because I'm autistic and it happens too much, I am a caretaker type and not a baby type and I always say that. Yes it's because i was abused as a child. For context my abusers were fat. (One around my age and one an older guy) Now I am attracted to fat men. And this 40 year old man is fat too. Of course I feel horrible about it, I mean he's insecure about his weight and I'm just over here gooning. (For context I'm almost 23)