* THE SWAN QUEEN!

  𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒂 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒓𝒔 / 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒘𝒂𝒏 𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒆𝒏 , by  𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒏.

[caterinaismz]

“be real with me here…” cat trailed off, holding up her pear phone, the screen displaying a dangerous looking adult device. “…why do people make these?”

[reflectiveisms]

nina’s gaze tracked upward to see the image illuminated upon the screen, and the woman almost 𝒊𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 takes two paces backward, cheeks burning ; she certainly hadn’t expected to see such a thing.  ‘ why — why would you just . . . ’  she said, breathlessly, tightly, ethereal little-girl-lost even now. ‘ i wouldn’t know ! ’

[reflectiveisms]

𝒊 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒃𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕 .

the mirrors surrounding you did as they were meant to, reflecting back a spitting image of NATALIE PORTMAN -  but it’s clear something is wrong from the moment that a vision of THE GLARE OF LIGHTS INCREASING UNTIL YOUR VISION IS FULLY WHITE; THE ENCROACHING OF DEATH strikes you.  perhaps it was a passing daydream in the frenzy of the funhouse. you reassure yourself  -  

you’re NINA SAYERS, a TWENTY-EIGHT YEAR OLD BALLERINA whose virtue lies in your + CONSCIENTIOUSNESS & + EMPATHY, although you’ve been told that you tend to be quite - DEPENDENT & - NEUROTIC, and you’re associated with WELL-WORN BALLET PUMPS, DISAPPEARING IMAGINED INJURIES, A DEVIOUS REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR THAT ISN’T QUITE YOU by those around you. 

suddenly, however, you’ve found A BLOODIED MIRROR SHARD on your person - was that always there? from the moment you leave the funhouse,  memories from your life in BLACK SWAN have begun to return - leaving whoever you had been before in the mirror’s reflection behind you.  you can almost hear DANCE OF THE SWANS by TCHAIKOVSKY following in your wake.

BASICS

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 : nina marie sayers 

𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 : “ little girl ” / “ sea of bitterness ” or “ exalted one ” / “ to say ” or “ victory ”

𝒂𝒈𝒆 : twenty-eight ( b. 20 March, 1992 in New York City, NY, United States of America )

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 : cis female ( she / her pronouns )

𝒔𝒆𝒙𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 : bisexual

APPEARANCE

𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎 : natalie portman

𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 : 5 ft 2 in ( 158 cm )

𝒃𝒖𝒊𝒍𝒅 : underweight

𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆 : outside of the company, comfort-oriented & conservative style, generally favouring light and pastel colours, but a certainly physical sense of metamorphosis as time goes on.

PERSONALITY / TRAITS

𝒉𝒐𝒈𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆 : ravenclaw

𝒎𝒃𝒕𝒊 𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒆 : intp-t

𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄 𝒔𝒊𝒈𝒏 : pisces

𝒏𝒆𝒖𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒔 : paranoid schizophrenia & obsessive-compulsive personality disorder ( as explained by this video )

𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒔 : perfectionistic , fragile , stubborn , sheltered , optimistic , conscientious , naïve , well-meaning

𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈 : teen idle by marina & the diamonds 

HEADCANONS

              blood tw, death tw

nina sayers never realised the cost of being thomas leroy’s ‘ 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒔. ’ until the end, following the glowing line to ‘ i felt it, i was perfect ’ even as it brought her world crashing down around her. 

a sheltered life in new york city with an off-base unnerving relationship with her infantilising mother becomes the same, here. even here, she cannot escape the eye of erica sayers. neither her eye, nor her perpetual envy.

( she liked lily. never knew what to do with that, and it was always unseen through the murk of she’s out to get me, the laughter over her shoulder when her back is turned, the envy of her effortless swagger & the beauty of even her imperfection. not that her mother would ever have allowed it, this woman teaching nina everything she shouldn’t know. )

it became fashionable to say you were there, in the real world, when nina sayers flung herself from the plinth as the white swan, and bled to death on a thin mattress to the music of their vague screaming. not that she could know this: this is the cycle reset ( as she remembers none of the tragedy ) put back in position ( new world, new people ) before the casting began the slow breakdown & descent to hell that came to a head on the night of the performance. 

that was the opener. this is night two : the second performance. and the aim of every performance is, of course, to match or better the last.

i plan to write nina tentatively stepping out into the world against erica’s wishes, so i imagine most muses would have seen her around or seen her perform before ( you can feel free to decide this at your discretion ! ) but she is incredibly reserved and tense so she likely hasn’t gotten to know people very well ! 

[weslewski]

[warholder]

Isn’t all that rage so ugly? And isn’t it mine, still? Good God, isn’t it mine?

Ashe Vernon, from ‘’ Buried ‘’ (via warholder)