Reflective Project

A blog of daily reflections of my thoughts & feelings while finding solace in my recovery.

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It’s been 8 years & it still isn’t easy. You live knowing she will pass sometime soon but u just can’t prepare

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When it comes to the phrase & ideals of “being healthy “, our society for years has brought that notion, as being physically healthy not mentally. So, we’ve kinda been conditioned to think that the only way to healthy is if we’re in a size 6, eat lots of salad & going to the gym 7 days a week. But being physically healthy of course, is definitely important, but our society has made thinking or talking about being “mentally unhealthy “ somewhat of a taboo. There is an unfortunate stigma surrounding that topic. Having good mental health & being mindful to practice good self-help awareness is in my opinion ranks above physical health. If we stuff our feelings, stress, anxiety & depression we are definitely going to engage in unhealthy behaviors. So, logic conclusions is; even if you’re on that if your fad diet staying on track, walking on your treadmill, & drinking lots of water, if you’re mental health has you withdrawing, unable to cope w/ stress that we all go through in life, your inner health suffers as well. High blood pressure, at risk for heart attack, obesity I could go on. So, I’ll part w/ this- our bodies operate w/ a complex system. The our functions run like that of a car. If one organ is off, another body system will be affected. Same is that of our physical & mental health. If your mental health is balanced & not clouded, you radiate self esteem, confidence, & peace.

[reflectiveproject]

When it comes to the phrase & ideals of “being healthy “, our society for years has brought that notion, as being physically healthy not mentally. So, we’ve kinda been conditioned to think that the only way to healthy is if we’re in a size 6, eat lots of salad & going to the gym 7 days a week. But being physically healthy of course, is definitely important, but our society has made thinking or talking about being “mentally unhealthy “ somewhat of a taboo. There is an unfortunate stigma surrounding that topic. Having good mental health & being mindful to practice good self-help awareness is in my opinion ranks above physical health. If we stuff our feelings, stress, anxiety & depression we are definitely going to engage in unhealthy behaviors. So, logic conclusions is; even if you’re on that if your fad diet staying on track, walking on your treadmill, & drinking lots of water, if you’re mental health has you withdrawing, unable to cope w/ stress that we all go through in life, your inner health suffers as well. High blood pressure, at risk for heart attack, obesity I could go on. So, I’ll part w/ this- our bodies operate w/ a complex system. The our functions run like that of a car. If one organ is off, another body system will be affected. Same is that of our physical & mental health. If your mental health is balanced & not clouded, you radiate self esteem, confidence, & peace.

[reflectiveproject]

When it comes to the phrase & ideals of “being healthy “, our society for years has brought that notion, as being physically healthy not mentally. So, we’ve kinda been conditioned to think that the only way to healthy is if we’re in a size 6, eat lots of salad & going to the gym 7 days a week. But being physically healthy of course, is definitely important, but our society has made thinking or talking about being “mentally unhealthy “ somewhat of a taboo. There is an unfortunate stigma surrounding that topic. Having good mental health & being mindful to practice good self-help awareness is in my opinion ranks above physical health. If we stuff our feelings, stress, anxiety & depression we are definitely going to engage in unhealthy behaviors. So, logic conclusions is; even if you’re on that if your fad diet staying on track, walking on your treadmill, & drinking lots of water, if you’re mental health has you withdrawing, unable to cope w/ stress that we all go through in life, your inner health suffers as well. High blood pressure, at risk for heart attack, obesity I could go on. So, I’ll part w/ this- our bodies operate w/ a complex system. The our functions run like that of a car. If one organ is off, another body system will be affected. Same is that of our physical & mental health. If your mental health is balanced & not clouded, you radiate self esteem, confidence, & peace.

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I just can’t seem to do that for myself. Having found sobriety you would think I would feel joy & a sense of accomplishment. I would hit the ground running, not wanting to waste not another second. The exact opposite is where I’m at. I isolated @ first out of necessity. You know I needed time under my belt recovering & have the coping skills needed to face the world 🌎 a sober but broken woman. Time is one thing that don’t stop & it’s not kind either. Sadly, once I quit looking down & come up for air, my timer stopped….6 years 📆 was gone.

Now in that 6 years, I went so far backwards. My mental health wasn’t well, I had gained 70lbs. I looked like the south end of a north bound donkey! So, I don’t know how to love who I am. Daily, I spend time in my head going over what I hate about myself, how disgusted I am for letting it get this far. I’m a smart woman, I’m so aware of the solutions to my weight problem & self-esteem issues. Hell, I converse daily w/ Me, Myself & I about being a hot mess. WHY am I not pushing to myself to do what it takes to be happy?? To love the life I’m living & be fulfilled w/ my accomplishments. Instead, I stay stuck. I was having a pretty rough day today & I happened to come across this little “Start Loving Yourself for Dummies” illustration lol & I’m going to take a baby step to begin my walk towards healing & loving myself. I’ve given all of me to everyone who needed it for years, it’s time I give it all to ME!

🌟🌟Try “I Am” Daily Affirmations App by Manifest Monkey🌟🌟

It drops little affirmations throughout your day.

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Throughout life we may need to remind ourselves that everything surrounding our lives, WE are in control of. Situations we are in, we traveled that road to get there. Our feelings & how we react to what’s going on our lives, it’s our choice for feeling that way. It is hard to take responsibility for things during turbulent times. Cause it may be easier to place the blame upon someone else. So , we don’t have to navigate in that mud puddle. But, at the end of day when we embrace the notion that we are captains of our own ship. That our choices will control just how good or bad our life’s journey will be. So, always be mindful of the choices we make.

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The Reflection Project has 3 members. A safe & open space to reflect on addiction recovery, self-help awareness, & mental health issues.. So

Would love to have anyone interested in topics of struggling w/ addiction, in recovery, working on self-help, & mental health issues. My FB group is a safe & open space to share your thoughts.

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Daily we need to be mindful of taking care of ourselves. Keeping both our mental & physical needs at a healthy balance.

I am going to be offering a Self Help Toolkit series. In the series, we will be working through steps of a self inventory there will be worksheets & a discussion available.

[reflectiveproject]

Daily we need to be mindful of taking care of ourselves. Keeping both our mental & physical needs at a healthy balance.

I am going to be offering a Self Help Toolkit series. In the series, we will be working through steps of a self inventory there will be worksheets & a discussion available.

[reflectiveproject]

Learn to embrace the ugly things that you have done & have experienced as part of your past. The journey through your storm took great strength & courage to emerge out of the wreckage.It’s part of your history, it doesn’t define your present. Allow your story to be an inspiration to others. Gain fulfillment from those ashes.

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My thoughts often go back to thinking about the woman & person I was before my addiction. I miss being her. She was so outgoing, determined, adventurous, caring & so much more. But reality is, I need to grasp that she is gone. N leave her to rest in memory.

My focus should be on the here & who I am now. What am I going to do or be in this life? I have so much to learn about myself since recovery. Cause right now I couldn’t tell you what I like or even what makes me happy. Leaving the past where it needs to be will keep my vision clear & open to becoming someone great.

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This is something I still struggle w/ six years into recovery, forgiving myself! You ask ur loved ones for forgiveness for all the hurt & turmoil you caused. But internally, I @ least, you have shame & guilt you have to work through. My biggest reason it’s hard to forgive myself for is that I didn’t get into recovery before my mother passed from cancer! That she didn’t get to see me in sobriety. I know she sees me, but not the same. I’m somehow going to have to work through this. I’ve internally climbed out of worse getting sober!