trying on a metaphor
todays bird
oozey mess
Claire Keane
occasionally subtle
Cosimo Galluzzi
wallacepolsom
will byers stan first human second
DEAR READER
KIROKAZE
Origami Around
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
ellievsbear
JBB: An Artblog!
d e v o n
@theartofmadeline
⁂
shark vs the universe
styofa doing anything
Kiana Khansmith
seen from United States
seen from Morocco
seen from United States
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seen from Bosnia & Herzegovina
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
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@regancristene
I’m thrilled to tell you that my new version of Fearless (Taylor’s Version) is done and will be with you soon. It has 26 songs including 6 never before released songs from the vault. Love Story (Taylor’s Version) will be out tonight. Pre-order now at https://taylor.lnk.to/fearlesstaylorsversion 💛💛
The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to “Buzz Aldrin and his husband” going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he’d misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.
The moon landing was fake: tired, passé, heard it before
The moon landing was an elaborate marriage proposal: fresh! sexy! I’m going to be thinking about this for months!
Romcom where two dudes in the 1960s fall in love and come up with an elaborate plan to become astronauts to get married in space because gay marriage is illegal everywhere but it can’t be illegal on the moon
Might make things a little awkward for Mike Collins.
He was the officiator
This is an excellent take. He officiated in orbit, and the landing was their Honey Moon.
Oh my god they were moon mates.
good morning bisexuals
good afternoon bisexuals
good night bisexuals
Andy and Seth clear the air
i gotta write a trope break where the dad’s favorite daughter gets a bf and instead of being suspicious the dad is like ‘YES. FINALLY. I HAVE A SON TO GO FISHING WITH’ ‘dad i go fishing with you every week’ ‘i know and i’ll always enjoy fishing with you more but I WANNA MAKE HIM FEEL WELCOME. COME ON SON LET US FISH’
instead of cringing the daughter’s like ‘i’m sorry if you feel weirded out by my dad but i love him the way he is and u just gotta man up and deal with my awesome cringy dad’
boyfriend, who doesn’t have a good dad: i know this and i love him
bf: are you going to tell me to not break your daughter’s heart or you’ll break my legs or something?
dad: no i know you wouldn’t do it on purpose and it’s stupid to get mad at someone for an accident. also, i trust my daughter’s taste in men and understand that heartbreak is a natural part of relationships. you will both hurt each other, but what’s important is being mature, forgiving, and loving through it. now, do you want a hamburger or a hotdog?
bf, crying a little: both, please mr. dad
instead of groaning at the dad jokes everyone is DELIGHTED and the dad stands as the pinnacle of humor, as dad jokes deserve to.
When you work at Lush and customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese
this happens way more frequently than you think, i assure you
Well if you frickers stopped literally presenting soap as deli food maybe it wouldnt happen?
who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese
who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese
Everyone’s posting about the Robert Pattinson Batman and all I see in every gifset is
Look at that snatched waist and sock bun. She’d do numbers on Instagram
this website was a mistake
As a Croat, seeing a meme about my country for the first time ever on Tumblr is an experience
Bosnia and Herzegovina can have a little shoreline. As a treat
This is how I act when I have to share things with my siblings
The best part is the fact that out of the two of them Martha Stewart was the one who went to prison.
Wait…what?
Wiiiiild. He did commit murder (in self defense - no judging) and America‘s Best Housewife was sent to jail because of insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and conspiracy. This is wiiiiiild 😄😄😄
also he has every right to make fun of kanye west considering snoop has had a successful career for about two decades including his own cookbook and appearing in movies whereas kanye is a flat earther who had to crowdfund another album because he ran out of money despite kim kardashian being with him, not having the money to produce another album should be the metric when you know you can tell a musician has failed somewhere in either money management or actually being a musician rather then a famous trainwreck
snoop dogg is a good man who loves cooking, nature, and supporting the dreams of young children in poverty. kanye west helped get trump elected.
seriously though check out his cookbook its beautiful
and filled with lgiht humor, legit cooking, and charming life stories
Whenever I think about snoop I remember that episode of cribs where he lived in an unusually modest house compared to everyone else on that show, spent the entire time with his young daughter hugging onto his leg and dragging her around as he walked. He even talked about how he didn’t want his kids to be musicians and that he just wants them to have a chance at a normal life / he doesn’t wish music career drama on anyone
The dude is mega down to earth for having a networth of 135 million dollars and staying relevant for longer than some of the top charting musicians have been alive
If the singular form of “mice” is “mouse”, shouldn’t the singular of “lice” be “louse”?
Aw man I have like, THE BEST NEWS for you my friend
Sometimes you see a post and just realize there’s some Wild Shit going on in a community you never knew existed
Attached for original context
Finally, I understand
THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT. THIS WAS THE ORIGINAL POST.
Was anyone gonna tell me Vincent Martella, voice of Phineas Flynn on the Disney Channel original show Phineas and Ferb is on some absolute king shit on his twitter or did i just have to see this amazing series of tweets myself?
There’s more just go fucking look yourself
BOY’S ON SOME REAL KING SHIT LEMME TELL YA
Mary from the Bible was a witch and she had an affair while engaged to Abraham and she found out she was pregnant with Jesus so, she enchanted a feather and put it inside Abraham’s pillow so that when he slept, an angel would tell him God did the do and Mary wasn’t a cheater, and because Mary was a witch, Jesus also had powers and that’s how he did the miracles. One day Abraham found out the truth about Mary being a witch, so he asked her to make their family rich. When she said that it wasn’t possible for her to do that, he turned her in, but the church didn’t believe him so they stoned him to death.
People replying to this correcting the information in the post please realize that this was somebody’s dream and doesn’t have to make sense or follow any canon
I love the concept of referring to details of the bible as canon.
…thats what the word “canon” refers to?? Like, the academic term is Biblical Canon. That’s how fandom got the word
That’s why I called it canon! Jesus stans pls read carefully, everyone else also please read carefully!
Someone looks very well rested, judging by your bedhead.
the post: appa
the tags: there he is! best boy! i’d die for you!
Good to know Appa is being appreciated like he deserves
These men all open their mouths and the same sounds come out
I HATE WHEN PEOPLE ARE GROSSED OUT BY UNUSED TAMPONS. THATS LIKE BEING GROSSED OUT BY UNUSED NAPKINS, OR CLEAN SHEETS, OR CLEAN UNDERWEAR. LIKE OMG ITS NOT GOING TO HURT YOU. ITS CLEAN. TAMPONS EXIST WHY DO WOMEN HAVE TO BE EMBARRASSED OR HIDE THEM. ugh
Once I had an unopened box of tampons in plain view and my stepdad acted like that was some huge breach of social etiquette. I asked why on earth he was acting so weird about it, and he said, “Well you wouldn’t want me leaving a box of condoms lying around would you?”
Okay first of all, that you’re even implying that tampons and condoms are comparable items is fucking stupid since condoms are used for sex and tampons are used to like, you know, not bleed all the fuck over ourselves during this biological function none of us can stop. So that begs the question of why the fuck you’re sexualizing periods or items required to live hygienically during one, wherein the answer is that you believe vaginas are inherently sexual and only exist as something to stick your dick in. Because me leaving an unopened box of tampons in view is literally the same thing as leaving a stick of deodorant or a bar of fucking soap out on the counter if you’re considering them by their function. But God forbid I remind you vaginas exist in neutral everyday circumstances and that they don’t just manifest when you wanna fuck one.
Lots of important lines in here
