Just imagine Mr. Darcy with a minotaur head or Mr. Knightley with a werewolf knot. Now you're getting it.
Some posts are NSFW/18+.
(Side blog of @firawren, where I post Jane Austen memes and Beast/Belle smut and fluff.)
I'm Fira, and I've created this blog as as outlet for all the monster fuckers like me who also enjoy Regency romance and think it's both funny and sexy to picture monsters living in a Jane Austen novel.
I don't gatekeep the term "monster"—anything that's not a human I'm calling a monster for the purposes of this blog. Mermaid daughter of a baronet? Monster. Angel who drives a gig? Monster. Sentient slime ball inexplicably wearing a cravat? Monster. Just some dude with pointy ears? Monster.
Most posts will be SFW, but some will be NSFW, so this blog is a space for those 18+. But NSFW posts will be tagged as such, so if you're an adult that's more of a monster lover than a monster fucker, you can filter out the #nsft tag to curate your experience.
👉 My writing master list
Tag guide:
#my writing: all of my own fics, including series, standalone ficlets, and snippets
#fanfic, #fanart, #fic, #art: I reblog Regency monster OC and fandom art and fics that others have created
#[monster type here]: I try to tag every post with the type of monster in it, singular, such as #werewolf, #dragon, #mermaid
#[fandom, character, or ship name here]: I also tag by these, so try #bridgerton, #astarion, etc.
#nsft: for NSFW content, either in the post itself or the linked fic
If you want me to reblog your Regency monster creation, use the #regency monster tag on your post to get my attention.
Book Blurb: Dear Miss Antônia Santos Pereira, at the bequest of your late father’s will and on account of your potential ruined status and age, her majesty has hereby ordered you to attend the Monsters Ball to find suitable prospects for your family lineage.
Antônia is back in London after the passing of her father. Living overseas most her life, without the burden of her family affairs, she is accustomed to a life that allows her to do as she pleases, when she pleases without answer to anyone. The missive changes everything, however, and affairs at court that weren't to have been her duty suddenly fall upon her. She will do as she must, but if her husband thinks he will rule her, he will be sadly mistaken.
Hiding behind the guise of a beastly baron, Louis Lockheart, the unseelie king has little patience for the giggling mass of women and the unsavory human world. He tolerates it for only one purpose: to find the one he was betrothed to long ago. When fate brings him face to face with her at the Monsters ball, he is determined to take what her father promised him. Through much headache and tribulation, he is intent on sweeping this innocent maiden off to the Unseelie Court, no matter the cost.
Can Antonia find love in this forced matrimony to a monster that both frightens and fascinates her, or is she doomed to be trapped in his courts lonely forever?
.
**The Beguiled by the Beastly Baron is a steamy regency monster romance and part of The Monster Ball collection.**
Twelve authors have joined together to bring you twelve delicious, decadent tales of monsters finding true love within a glittering ballroom. Let marble gargoyles sweep you across the ballroom, viper viscounts capture your heart, and dukes covered in cold fire set your senses ablaze.
Prepare to swoon over this Regency-inspired world of monsters, ballrooms, and true love.
Review:
Whats a Lady to do when you find out your father has traded your hand in marriage in a bet? Well Antônia Santos Pereira is about to find out. After the death of her mother her father fell into gambling, and then he dies leaving Antônia to deal with the duties of society... particularly that she is required to go to the Monster Ball by the Queen. What she doesn't expect is to find out that her dad had traded her hand in marriage to a Baron and that said Baron, the unseelie king himself, Louis Lockheart has come to collect her hand in marriage. Antônia isn't looking to be tied down but something about Louis has her willing to accept the proposal and soon she is thrown into a marriage she never expected with a beastly husband who wants nothing more than to make her his queen and worship her. This was a pretty sweet regency monster romance.
Here are all of my own Regency era monster fics featuring demons, tieflings, vampires, or similar monsters, plus shortcuts to reblogged content about those type of monsters by others.
My fics:
🌶️ = NSFW || ⭐️ = favorite
[series] Sebastian and Sarah - tiefling x female OC 🌶️
A strangers-to-lovers romance between a couple from different classes and races
[one-shot] Cambion x female OC
Suave, flirty, and maybe slightly wicked cambion captain and the sweet human who is enamored with him + kiss ficlet
[mini series] Demon x female OC 🌶️⭐️
Demon corrupts an angelic looking harpist + part 2
[mini series] Demon x female reader 🌶️⭐️
Demon bodyguard shares a bed with you at an inn + part 2
[snippet] Incubus x gn reader 🌶️
A fiery incubus fucks you against a window to cool you off
[mini series] Vampire x female reader
Yearns to taste you but never wants to hurt you SFW + part 2 🌶️
[snippet] Vampire (and male werewolf kinda) x gn reader
Voyeuristic kiss
[mini series] Vampire x male OC 🌶️
Wicked vampire gentleman who gets physical with his human friend for the first time in a dubcon-y way + part 2
Here are all of my own Regency era monster fics featuring demons, tieflings, vampires, or similar monsters, plus shortcuts to reblogged content about those type of monsters by others.
My fics:
🌶️ = NSFW || ⭐️ = favorite
[series] Sebastian and Sarah - tiefling x female OC 🌶️
A strangers-to-lovers romance between a couple from different classes and races
[one-shot] Cambion x female OC
Suave, flirty, and maybe slightly wicked cambion captain and the sweet human who is enamored with him + kiss ficlet
[mini series] Demon x female OC 🌶️⭐️
Demon corrupts an angelic looking harpist + part 2
[mini series] Demon x female reader 🌶️⭐️
Demon bodyguard shares a bed with you at an inn + part 2
[snippet] Incubus x gn reader 🌶️
A fiery incubus fucks you against a window to cool you off
[mini series] Vampire x female reader
Yearns to taste you but never wants to hurt you SFW + part 2 🌶️
[snippet] Vampire (and male werewolf kinda) x gn reader
Voyeuristic kiss
[mini series] Vampire x male OC 🌶️
Wicked vampire gentleman who gets physical with his human friend for the first time in a dubcon-y way + part 2
Here are all of my own Regency era monster fics featuring demons, tieflings, vampires, or similar monsters, plus shortcuts to reblogged content about those type of monsters by others.
My fics:
🌶️ = NSFW || ⭐️ = favorite
[series] Sebastian and Sarah - tiefling x female OC 🌶️
A strangers-to-lovers romance between a couple from different classes and races
[one-shot] Cambion x female OC
Suave, flirty, and maybe slightly wicked cambion captain and the sweet human who is enamored with him + kiss ficlet
[mini series] Demon x female OC 🌶️⭐️
Demon corrupts an angelic looking harpist + part 2
[mini series] Demon x female reader 🌶️⭐️
Demon bodyguard shares a bed with you at an inn + part 2
[snippet] Incubus x gn reader 🌶️
A fiery incubus fucks you against a window to cool you off
[mini series] Vampire x female reader
Yearns to taste you but never wants to hurt you SFW + part 2 🌶️
[snippet] Vampire (and male werewolf kinda) x gn reader
Voyeuristic kiss
[mini series] Vampire x male OC 🌶️
Wicked vampire gentleman who gets physical with his human friend for the first time in a dubcon-y way + part 2
After years of playing with the outline for this, I'm finally posting Chapter 1 of my Wyllstarion Regency AU!
Summary:
Wyll Ravengard, the Blade of Frontiers, has returned to Baldur's Gate and his tales of adventure have taken the ton by storm. It's not a moment too soon, for the social climber Enver Gortash seems determined to persuade the city to turn over its defenses to his mysterious Steel Watch. Duke Ulder Ravengard needs his son's heroic reputation to make certain Gortash falls short of his goal.
Astarion Ancunin is the man hired to ruin that reputation.
Wyll can sense that Mr. Ancunin's motivations for seeking his company are not pure, but he cannot help being drawn to the handsome elf with the haunted eyes. And against every brutal lesson that the past two hundred years have taught him, the more time they spend together, the more Astarion finds himself believing that Mr. Ravengard might be that rarest of things: a good man. But does it matter, when Astarion's own future hangs in the balance?
tl;dr -- Regency fluff with secret plots, possible social scandal, at least one swordfight, and lots of magic. A vastly expanded version of a one-shot I wrote a few years back.
3, 10, or 25 - a young woman who moves from the city to the country and gets selected as the "offering" for a fertility festival to the spirit of the forest. The festival and offering has to happen in order for the farmers in the area to have a prosperous crop.
Thanks for the ask! The concept I came up with features Cernunnos, an ancient Celtic god of nature and fertility, but I've made it so that he's not a god and this is just his species of monster, not his given name. I picture him as a mix of this art and this art, but brown and green colored. The bulk of the story is inspired by this very hot chapter in this fanfic “waterbound” by @skywalking-through-life.
“Civilized”
Monster March, day 25: nature spirit
Male nature monster x female human | Regency era | NSFW: no sex happens but the characters discuss it and fantasize vaguely
She had thought it would be terribly dull living in the country after spending her whole life in London, yet here she was, flung over the shoulder of an enormous monster like a bag of grain as he strode into the forest with her to the sound of wild cheering.
She sighed against his back. This was not the kind of excitement she'd wanted.
As the newcomer to the village, the young woman had been picked as the “offering” to the local cernunnos at this year's spring festival. They’d explained to her that they were civilized now, so of course she wouldn't be expected to do anything untoward with the monster, but it was tradition to pretend—what exactly, they wouldn’t say—and the farmers were superstitious about the effect on their crops if they didn't follow through with the charade.
The cernunnos carried her far enough into the woods that the cheers gave way to the sound of birdsong, and they reached a small clearing where he finally set her down.
She moved back from him immediately. Even though he'd been calm and gentle so far, she’d never seen one of his kind before today, and his unusual appearance, deep voice, and solemn manner all intimidated her. He had the shape of a man, but was colored bark-brown and leafy green, powerfully built, and stood about seven feet tall—not counting his moss-covered antlers, which added about another foot to his height. He wore normal trousers, shirt, and waistcoat, but in place of a coat he had a thick fur slung over his shoulders, and in place of a cravat he had a garland of thin spring boughs draped about his neck. He wore nothing on his feet whatsoever. Altogether, it was an odd combination of features that made the woman feel unsettled.
She perched herself on a fallen log, and he sat a little ways off in the patchy grass, leaning back on his hands, and positioned sideways to her so they were not looking directly at each other.
“How long must we stay out here?” she ventured to ask.
He lifted a shoulder. “An hour, perhaps.”
“That long?”
“I would imagine that’s about how long the real ceremony used to take.”
She picked at some moss on the log beside her. “You know…no one has really told me anything about the real ceremony, what used to be done, I mean,” she said. He didn’t turn his head, but his green eyes slid to the side to regard her placidly.
“You truly don’t know?”
“No.”
His eyes flicked away from hers to stare forward again. “The cernunnos and the female would copulate.”
“Oh!” The woman’s cheeks immediately began to heat with shock. “And they weren’t married or even betrothed beforehand?”
He snorted. “No.”
“And this would take an hour? I’ve seen animals mate, and it’s very quick.”
The cernunnos sat up straight and turned toward her. “I am not an animal,” he said sternly. His voice was as rough as the tree bark his skin resembled.
“No no, I did not mean to suggest—! I, I just didn’t know that people did it any differently.”
He regarded her in cool silence for a few moments. “You really know nothing about it?”
She ducked her head and shook it.
Again he was silent for a moment. “It takes longer for people, if the male cares about giving the female pleasure, which he ought to.”
She peeked up again, intensely curious about what type of pleasure a female could possibly derive from such an act. The few times she’d seen animals carry it out, it had looked very rough and distasteful. “And how would he do that?” she asked quietly.
He licked his lips. “I’m not the right person to explain this to you.”
She sighed and looked away. “No one ever explains anything to me,” she muttered.
The cernunnos supposed it was unfair, her being shoved into this ceremony without knowing anything about it. They were using her. Just like they were using him. He felt for her, in that respect. And they did have an hour to spare…
“Very well,” he said, turning in the grass to face her. “If you really wish to know, I’ll tell you how a male and female receive pleasure from each other.”
Her eyes returned to his, bright with curiosity.
“They would generally start with kissing. Not just on the lips, but also moving elsewhere. I presume you know where else one may kiss?”
“The lady’s hand, you mean?”
He barely kept himself from snorting. “I mean, her jaw, her neck…” His eyes traced down the woman’s throat, and he saw it bob as she swallowed. “Her chest…anywhere uncovered.” Pink bloomed on the expanse of tan skin above the neckline of her dress where his eyes were fixed. “Or areas covered, as well.” Without meaning to, his eyes flicked down to her clothed breasts, but he quickly brought them back to her face. Her lips were parted now, her eyes wider.
“This is how he would start to give her pleasure, and himself. Then he would use his hands to caress those areas on her body that are most sensitive to touch. Her breasts”—her hand rose to flutter at the hollow of her throat—“down her belly, between her thighs, her backside.”
He watched her chest moving quickly with her shallow breaths, and realized his own breathing had grown more labored as well. He tried to slow it. It would not do to frighten her with evidence of his desire.
“Please continue,” she said quietly. “This is very…enlightening.” She was enthralled not just by his words, but by the deepening of his voice and darkening of his eyes as he spoke to her. She had no idea why those things made her feel so strange low in her belly, but there was something pleasant about the sensation that made her crave more.
He took a deep breath. “He would give particular attention to a spot between her thighs.” Her own thighs unconsciously shifted, rubbing together slightly, and he could not help his gaze being caught by the movement. He’d held onto those thighs when she was on his shoulder—he knew what they felt like. Clothed, anyway. He wondered what they felt like unclothed. Especially around his ears.
He shifted his own legs, steepling his knees in front of him to hide the evidence of how this conversation was rousing him, and continued. “That spot is where a female’s pleasure is concentrated, when it is touched or…licked.”
The woman let out a soft gasp. Licking down there was certainly never something she had witnessed when animals mated with each other. She had no idea such a thing was possible, and it almost sounded dirty, yet she must admit there was something intriguing about it as well.
“That is pleasurable, truly?”
“I cannot speak for females, but it’s always appeared to me to be intensely pleasurable for them.”
“And for you?”
This was the first time they had couched the conversation in terms of themselves, not just an unspecified “him” and “her,” causing even greater heat to build in his blood. “I have always found it pleasurable to perform as well.”
“I see,” she murmured.
She was quiet for a few breaths, lost in thought, and the cernunnos let his thoughts and gaze wander too. He liked the flush that clung to the woman’s skin now, and what little of her shape he could see through her dress. She was handsome, despite being human. He’d never been in a position to be picky about such things—there were so few left of his kind that he’d never bedded one once, only females of different races. But even if he had a cernunnos female at his disposal, he thought he might pick someone who looked like this little human.
“I’m puzzled,” the woman finally said. He raised his green eyebrows at her. “You’ve told me how these things would bring a male and female pleasure, but none of them have been things that animals do to, ah, produce young.”
He smiled slightly. She may be ignorant, but she was not unintelligent. “You’re correct. None of these things would get a female with child. That act would come next, if she was amenable to it.”
She peered at him expectantly.
“The male would push his cock into the female. In and out, until he spills his seed. This is what you've seen animals do, but it need not be so…crude as animals go about it. People can carry it out face to face, slower and gentler, if they wish.”
The woman’s face was more red than tan now, and her eyes darted about the forest clearing. “And…and that was what used to happen in this ceremony? Outside, on the ground?”
His antlers bobbed as he nodded. “It is not very civilized, I grant you, but that does not mean that it must be unpleasant. Were I the one carrying it out, I would be careful and ensure it was pleasurable for y—for the female.” He could go into more detail about how he would do that, all of the things he would do to make her scream and clench around him, but given how fiercely his blood already pumped through him, he thought it wise to leave off any further description. Hopefully she would not ask for more.
She didn’t. Her mind was full enough with new ideas and imagery as it was. She clasped her hands tightly in her lap and cleared her throat. “Thank you…for explaining all of that to me.”
He grunted in response, his teeth clenched together to keep himself from saying more.
Her brows furrowed in worry at a new thought. “Everyone knows it’s pretend now, right? No one thinks we’re actually doing…that, out here, do they?”
“No, they don’t. We’re all civilized now.”
But the instincts throbbing deep in his bones and urges sizzling hot through his muscles were anything but civilized. They were savage. He had them in check, but they were clamoring for release more fervently than they had for some time.
“I'm civilized,” he said again out loud.
He wasn't certain if he was trying to assure her or just himself.
~ 😈🎩 ~
This is another one I wouldn’t mind writing a sequel to!
Thanks to @borealwrites for their Monster March prompt list.
Read all of my Regency monster ficlets and snippets at the tag #my writing or my master list.
Inspired by this ask and a bit from this one too on @monstersflashlight.
Male shapeshifter x gender-neutral human reader | NSFW: oral, penetration, knotting, breeding, light degradation, praise
The shapeshifter spent weeks watching you before he made any attempt to become acquainted with you himself. He observed who you danced with, who you played cards with, who made you laugh and flush, who caught your eye when you were walking down the street or in a shop. He catalogued it all, remembering what you liked in a male.
All so he could use it for this moment when he finally had you in his bed.
He dragged his body against yours, skin against skin, but then his rippled and began to sprout hair, all over him. “You like fur, don’t you?” he purred.
“What?” you breathed, wide eyes roving over his body as it changed right in front of you.
His nose lengthened into an animal’s snout. “I see you spending time with werewolves and minotaurs quite a bit.” He rocked his now furry body against yours, raising goosebumps on your skin. “Is it their fur you like, or their animal heads?”
He lowered his snout to your neck and extended a long tongue from within to slowly drag against your throat, making your breath hitch. “Well?” He licked again. “Which is it?”
“I, I don’t know,” you stammered, still overwhelmed by seeing him shapeshift before your eyes. “Both?”
“Then you'll have both,” he told you, and started working his animalistic mouth down your body, drawing a meandering, wet trail over your heated skin that had you humming in bliss.
Nestled between your thighs, he worked you open with his long monster tongue until you were begging him for his cock, and that's when he gave you another decision to make: which type of monstrous cock you wanted. You sobbed that you couldn't choose, too sex-drunk to think straight, so he smoothed your hair and tutted at you.
“Shh, it's all right. I'll just give you all of them, you greedy thing,” he cooed.
And he did.
First it was a tapered naga cock, the shape perfect for him to rock it in bit by bit and gradually open you, until he was finally inside all the way to the root, his balls resting against your ass as he paused for you to adjust.
“So full,” you moaned, but he smirked in response.
“I'm just getting started. By the time we're done, I'm going to have you so much more full than this—with my cock and my seed. I can’t resist breeding such a pretty creature as you.”
A deep groan ripped from your chest, and he smiled in satisfaction and started slowly thrusting. “You want to get bred by a monster, hm? No, not just a monster—all the monsters, all our cocks. You can’t get enough cock. Want to be our pretty little human breeding whore, yes?”
Heat licked through your blood, making you moan out curses—but the last got stuck in your throat at the incredible sensation of your lover shifting the shape of his cock again, feeling it swell from within you, stretching you even farther. He slowly pulled back to let you feel the thick ridges that now ran all along his length as they dragged against your walls. “How do you like dragon cock, little human?”
“S’good,” you slurred as he pumped back into you, each ridge lighting you up inside. You'd never felt anything like it! Every slide of that textured cock had you dripping and clenching around it.
Before you could get too close to your release, though, he shifted it again—into what, you had no idea, other than the fact that it was even bigger than the dragon cock. He didn’t slow for a second, just kept fucking you through the change, your back arching to welcome him deeper. “God, so tight, such a perfect little hole for my cocks,” he groaned. “I'm going to breed it, fill it with my seed ‘till it takes, give you my whelps.”
Your mind went hazy as he cycled through cock after cock, each one filling and rubbing you in different delicious ways. He muttered praise and filth at you both—that's a good whore, take my cocks, my sweet little human, so ripe for breeding, so good for me—his voice changing as his form changed, deep and gravelly to biting and hissing to smooth and rich. It made you feel like you truly were being fucked by many different males, like you really were a wanton whore, and the scandalous idea shot pure fire through your veins.
Without warning his cock shifted again, something with a flared head that perfectly hit the pleasure spot inside you. You screamed and grabbed tighter to him, like his body could anchor you in the hurricane of pleasure you felt. His hips snapped against you with brutal power now, fast and demanding, like your climax was his to claim by rights.
“Knot me!” you screamed, and instantly he shifted not just his cock but his whole body into that of an enormous black werewolf, perfectly matching one he’d seen you flirting with many times before. His brand new knot hammered against your hole, and he held tighter to your hips to jerk your body down onto it. It popped inside and expanded, and the piercing pleasure was so great that it wrenched your orgasm from you with a cry.
Your hot channel clenched around the shapeshifter's werewolf knot as you came, making him howl out “That's it, choke my cock, fuck!” He could barely move now with how tightly you squeezed his knot, but he ground it as deeply into you as he could before unleashing a torrent of hot seed as his knot pulsed and locked the potent monster cum inside you.
He remained in the form of the werewolf as he collapsed to the bed and held you afterwards. You nuzzled into his furry chest, and he huffed out a sound of amusement. “You really do like fur, don't you?”
You nodded against him. He dipped his head. “I can be like this whenever you want,” he whispered, his breath hot against your ear, while the promise in his words heated you from the inside. “I can always be exactly what you desire. The monster of your dreams.”
~ 😈🎩 ~
I don’t know enough shapeshifter lore to know if it’s usual for shapeshifters to shift only parts of their bodies rather than always the whole thing, but they’re fake so I can make mine do whatever I want.
Thanks to @borealwrites for their Monster March prompt list.
Read all of my Regency monster ficlets and snippets at the tag #my writing or my master list.
Like a guy with wings? Here are all of my own Regency era monster fics featuring dragons or gargoyles, plus shortcuts to reblogged content about those type of monsters by others.
My fics:
🌶️ = NSFW || ⭐️ = favorite
[series] Hugo and Winifred - gargoyle lord x female OC 🌶️⭐️
An arranged marriage romance between a gentle giant gargoyle and sensible human with a bit of pining and lots of spice
[mini series] Dragon x female reader
Your friend wants to keep you as one of his treasures + part 2 🌶️ + part 3 🌶️
[snippet] Dragon x gn reader 🌶️
Your dragon husband rips the mattress as you ride him
[one-shot] Dragon x male character 🌶️⭐️
Human dragon rider uses his body as a sheath on Temeraire's giant cock to get him off (Temeraire book)
[one-shot] Dragon x male OC 🌶️
Has his human lover and all his staff well trained to deal with their relationship
[one-shot] Gargoyle x female OC ⭐️
Marriage of convenience between gargoyle lighthouse keeper and trauma survivor human
Like a guy with wings? Here are all of my own Regency era monster fics featuring dragons or gargoyles, plus shortcuts to reblogged content about those type of monsters by others.
My fics:
🌶️ = NSFW || ⭐️ = favorite
[series] Hugo and Winifred - gargoyle lord x female OC 🌶️⭐️
An arranged marriage romance between a gentle giant gargoyle and sensible human with a bit of pining and lots of spice
[mini series] Dragon x female reader
Your friend wants to keep you as one of his treasures + part 2 🌶️ + part 3 🌶️
[snippet] Dragon x gn reader 🌶️
Your dragon husband rips the mattress as you ride him
[one-shot] Dragon x male character 🌶️⭐️
Human dragon rider uses his body as a sheath on Temeraire's giant cock to get him off (Temeraire book)
[one-shot] Dragon x male OC 🌶️
Has his human lover and all his staff well trained to deal with their relationship
[one-shot] Gargoyle x female OC ⭐️
Marriage of convenience between gargoyle lighthouse keeper and trauma survivor human
Like a guy with wings? Here are all of my own Regency era monster fics featuring dragons or gargoyles, plus shortcuts to reblogged content about those type of monsters by others.
My fics:
🌶️ = NSFW || ⭐️ = favorite
[series] Hugo and Winifred - gargoyle lord x female OC 🌶️⭐️
An arranged marriage romance between a gentle giant gargoyle and sensible human with a bit of pining and lots of spice
[mini series] Dragon x female reader
Your friend wants to keep you as one of his treasures + part 2 🌶️ + part 3 🌶️
[snippet] Dragon x gn reader 🌶️
Your dragon husband rips the mattress as you ride him
[one-shot] Dragon x male character 🌶️⭐️
Human dragon rider uses his body as a sheath on Temeraire's giant cock to get him off (Temeraire book)
[one-shot] Dragon x male OC 🌶️
Has his human lover and all his staff well trained to deal with their relationship
[one-shot] Gargoyle x female OC ⭐️
Marriage of convenience between gargoyle lighthouse keeper and trauma survivor human
Help! I'm trying to write a sequel to my orc hair customs fic involving the reader giving her orc husband scalp massages involving hair oils, but the problem is that I have never used hair oil (I'm allergic) and don't know when and how to do it. Googling it was overwhelming 😩 Can someone just explain to me the bare minimum I need to know to write about it in a fic? And do it like I'm five? Please?
