b
been pitifully lonely lately which is stupid cause ive long held the opinion theres not really a point in dating for me cause i dont want to get married or have kids and sex isnt really of interest to me so its mostly a waste of time. plus in my incredibly limited experience a lot of romance is straight up annoying to me. i think mostly i just want to make out with somebody which just makes it worse cause i know damn well if i really wanted to i could go make that happen. im not ugly or a total dipshit just shy and awkward. with enough persistence i would get lucky. but i also know damn well im not going to do that. ugh. i wish someone would fall in love with me even though i dont go anywhere besides work and i dont hardly talk to nobody and i barely say anything about myself. i cant even have crushes for fun anymore cause everyone i know is either married or with child or recently graduated high school. so annoying!!!!!!!!! is this a safe space for me to share something. the other day a guy at work made eye contact while he stood a foot away and spoke to me which is perfectly standard but i wasnt expecting it and it got me hotter than anything else in real life has in years. which is absurd. complete overreaction. and i dont have anyone to talk about this stuff with cause the guy i talked to was a coworker from my old job who is a 40 something married father and theres no reason for us to be friends if were not at the same job and its not like i can text him that kinda stuff even though nothings meant by it it looks bad. his wife does not want to look at his phone and see a text from a 27 year old about how she really really really wants to eat some pussy but shes too much of a loser to try to get some. the only two people i could tell would just try to get me with somebody which is embarrassing enough cause theyre not subtle but also they wouldnt think anything of trying to get me with somebody 8 years younger than me. and i say i dont caaaaare about romance but ive caught myself lately pondering some hypothetical future partner. ill catch myself being like oh i hope theyd watch this movie with me, i hope they actually pay attention to it, i wonder what their favorites are, or do they not usually watch movies. ugghh.
